The Wrong Man

James was the most irritating man I had ever met. He knew all the answers and expected me to listen to everything he had to say. In my opinion, nothing he had to say was interesting. My father was a talker and I had long ago perfected the craft of not listening. I think part of it was the fact my father had a deep melodic voice that would almost put me to sleep.  It was like a trance. I tried to tell him a few times he should go into audiobook recording or teach meditation classes, but I think he was embarrassed about it. He never believed me when I told him he had a voice that could calm anyone. James, on the other hand, did not.   

James was smart, I will give him that, but I had always thought his other qualities were few and far between.  I was not looking forward to the staff holiday party this year. Last year he had cornered me and talked my ear off about all the places he had travelled to when he was in college. Interesting, but I had been trying to talk with Seth, the newest professor in the Fine Arts Department. I wanted to get to know Seth and talk to him about the new art gallery that had just opened Downtown. I had been dying to go and I was hoping I could talk Seth into joining me. Instead, I had been cornered by James and held hostage by his voice for at least thirty minutes.  By the time Shelly saved me, Seth was gone.   

I had high hopes I would not be waylaid by James this year when he hadn’t arrived when I got to the party, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath. We always seemed to run into each other at parties, staff meetings, professional development, outreach events. Everywhere.  I was coming back from the coat closet when I felt a hand on my arm. James. I tried not to count the minutes as he talked.  Drank a little whiskey.  And talked. Drank more whiskey. And talked. I didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. 

“Your eyes were glazing over. I would have been here earlier, but I got waylaid by the Dean. I thought maybe you were having a good time,” Shelly said smiling as she led me away forty-five minutes later. We made our way to the champagne and I snagged a much needed glass.  

“How I get caught in situations with him, I have no idea.” I stopped to take a large swallow of the champagne. “Everywhere I look, he happens to be right there! I don’t get it.” 

“I think he maybe has a thing for you,” Shelly added as we headed out to the back porch. “Why else would he stop you at every chance he gets? At least he’s not too aggressive. Remember that professor from three years ago? What was his name? Simon something?” 

I almost spit the champagne all over Shelly’s new dress. God, did I ever remember him. Simon Thompson. He had been on a tenure track as an Art History professor until he got caught sleeping with several of his students. Simon was convinced I had turned him, but I am pretty sure it was one of his students who was angry he wouldn’t leave his wife for her. I don’t really care if he thought it was me or not, I just hope he didn’t find out who it really was.   

Over the next several days, I tried to push the staff holiday party out of my mind. I had too many other events and parties happening with my family that I really didn’t think about James too often.  I think the two of us had gotten off on the wrong foot somewhere along the line. Probably the workday where he had called me kiddo and then later in the week, I overheard him telling someone on the phone how higher education was wasted on women. Disgust was all I had for him. As the new year approached, I wasn’t quite sure of what I was going to do for the holiday. I was tempted to just stay home as it was becoming more of a chore to stay awake until midnight and force myself to be cheery around the other party goes. I had spent all of my extra energy at the staff Christmas party. 

I was beginning to look forward to my solitary night in, but in the back of my mind, I was starting to have a minor stroke of anxiety about it. What if something really exciting happened while I was sitting at home by myself? What if I was stuck at home and the whole world moved on without me? Suddenly I was desperate for plans on New Years Eve and started calling around. Shelly did have plans, but when both her kids started throwing up, obviously she cancelled. Jade was going to a big blow-out party, but it was a party that required an invitation and I didn’t know the right people to get an invitation to a party – fancy or not. I was beginning to start feeling sorry for myself when my phone rang. 

It was James. 

I stared for a minute, debating on whether or not to answer. Was I desperate enough to get out of my house on New Year’s Eve that I would go somewhere with James? If that was even why he was calling. Maybe he was calling about work. Yes. That must be it. Work.   

“H-hello?” I cringed as I stumbled over my words. I hoped he didn’t know how much he irritated me. I was trying to become better about not letting all my emotions show though I feel like most of the time, I failed. 

“Jasmine?” He said quietly. “I’m sorry to bother you after work.” 

I immediately cursed.   

“Sorry. I just stubbed my toe.” I closed my eyes. I could not believe I was such a bitch. He had done nothing wrong and here I was cursing the fact he had even called. 

“Well, I was calling because I have come across an extra ticket to the art museum benefit on New Year’s Eve and was wondering if you wanted to join. I know you are a fan of the museum so I just thought I’d check.” 

My mouth dropped. James. Asking me on a date? The nerve of this man. 

“Sure, that sounds great,” I heard myself say before I could stop myself. What was I doing? I couldn’t spend an entire night with James. I could barely control myself when we were in staff meetings together. 

“Oh, I am so happy you can go! I thought for sure you already had other plans. I’ll pick you up at 6:30 and maybe we can get a quick bite beforehand?” James sounded absolutely gleeful and I wondered how I was going to explain my date to Shelly. 

James and I glossed over the details of what was to come and I tried to sound cheerful so he wouldn’t know how distraught I was feeling. Distraught over having to spend at least six hours in his company.  God I hope he didn’t try to kiss me at midnight. We hung up with the intent of solidifying our plans at the end of the week. The butterflies in my stomach started as soon as I started texting Shelly about what I had done. But at this point, I didn’t think I could back out – James had sounded too excited. 

“I can’t believe you’re really going out with him,” Shelly whispered to me as we walked together from the parking lot. 

“I was too surprised to say no!” I said, defending my actions. “And he sounded so excited.” 

Shelly just smirked, but said nothing. She didn’t have to. 

As New Year’s quickly approached, I finally resigned myself to spending the evening with James. I hyped myself up and told myself repeatedly to be cheerful and thankful. Grateful and happy. Maybe I should meditate before we go to calm my nerves. 

When James rang my doorbell just before 6:30, the butterflies in my stomach came back with a vengeance. I had never been this nervous before a date in my entire night so I wondered why I was so nervous before this one? I tried to shrug it off and took a deep breath as I opened the door. 

“Our reservations are for 6:45 so we should probably shoot on over to Magnolia’s for appetizers and drink,” James said smiling at me. Then his eyes got wide. I braced myself for whatever was coming next.  

“I mean – you look wonderful tonight, would you like to join me for dinner?” He bowed slightly and reached his hand out. I stared in disbelief.  Who was this man and what had he done with James? I took his hand and he led the way to his newly washed BMW. I internally kicked myself as he opened the door for me. He had obviously put a lot of effort into tonight and just this afternoon I was debating on whether or not I was going to cancel on him. 

As we neared midnight, I found myself wishing he would kiss me as the clock struck midnight. I smiled as I thought about James, the most irritating man I knew. And oh how he had changed.