Sledding Again

The coffee in my mug warmed my hands as the memories warmed my heart. Three Januarys ago, the snow had been 9 inches deep. My bestie, Meg, who was finishing up a 5^th year to get her second degree, had been insistent that we go sledding after I got off of work from my first “real” job in a marketing firm. I was tired trudged in my apartment and headed to my bedroom to get changed into my snow gear. I felt even more tired when I saw that her car was full- three friends were with her. Two I had known from my college days, but the other person I had never seen before.

When I had gotten into the crowded back seat, he politely made room, but seemed content to watch the others as we drove to “The Hill”. His name was Kyle, Meg informed me, and after quick smiles and “helloes” we sat silently for the short trip.

The sledding had been a success, I’ll admit - just the break I needed from my job which had involved more presentations than I had expected. The five of us took many rides, switching up partners, or braving the long, fast hill alone. All the wipe outs were of the fun variety and none needed ice packs or a trip to the emergency room – which was a relief.

It had been good to have an evening with Meg and my old pals, Jon and Brennan. Kyle, the new guy, had been a good sport throughout the night. Kyle’s hairstyle and manner had seemed to indicate that he was a soldier. I figured he was probably stationed at the base on the other side of town, but I wondered how Meg had met up with him. He was polite, but quiet, and at the end of the fun, again squished in the car, we still had little to say to one another.

It turns out the rest of the group had been a study group in the night class Meg had taken to fulfill her language requirement – French. Just yesterday the professor informed them he would need to cancel class for tonight. Hence, this outing. Kyle was only enrolled in one class at the university because he was working full time as an analyst at the base.

A few weeks later we all had all gone sledding again. “After we sled, we are headed to The Coffee Bean to warm up. Kyle just found out he’s leaving for Afghanistan and won’t be able to finish the semester.”

“Man, that’s awful - was he able to drop his class and get a refund?”

“I’m not sure,” Meg replied, “I’m more concerned about him being in war zone.”

“Yeah, of course…thanks for letting me know.”

After a few good rides slushy rain began to fall, so we headed to our college coffee shop early. We all had stomped our boots as we rushed into the cozy shop and then we had taken a few minutes to unload ourselves of our scarves, and hats, and mittens before lining up to order. I was in front of Kyle in line. “This is on me today, Kyle.” I smiled but kept examining the choices, “To show you my appreciation gift for serving our country.” When I turned to him, he looked surprised.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, but then smiled, clearly touched, “but thank you.”

“Oh, I’m happy to. I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you.” Then it had been my turn to order, vanilla mocha with a snickerdoodle. He looked over the choices in the display case and got a dark roast coffee with cream and a large blueberry glazed doughnut.

“Thanks again,” Kyle said as we headed to the pick-up counter. He had been happy, but in a melancholy sort of way all evening. As I reflected, I couldn’t honestly understand how he was feeling. I’d never had to face such obvious danger myself.

Our order arrived and as we had walked to the table he said, “I gave the others my address last week. I knew I was headed out, but we had originally been told that we wouldn’t leave until June. We just found out that our date got moved up to until March. Anyway, I’d be happy to give you my address too.” Looking away, “It’s always nice to get mail when you’re in a foreign place.”

“Sure. It’d love to have it,” I had smiled, but inwardly, I knew how bad I was at keeping in touch.

We had joined the others and they had filled the evening with tales of college. Kyle had seemed a bit far off, but he clearly appreciated his friends “good-bye” effort. I had driven myself this time, so, since the time was getting late and I had to do some research that night, I excused myself and with a wave, I left the others and headed out.

Back in the present, I checked the time. The snow that fell yesterday was really beautiful. I’m going to have to get Mr. Hanson some of those chocolate brownies he likes. Neighbors with snowblowers who clear out my car for me deserve treats. “I still have 45 mins. till I have to leave, still time to enjoy the scenery for a few more minutes.” I knew the scenery was just a backdrop, though, because before I left, I wanted to remember more than just the pleasant times.

Work had gotten busy, that first year on the job, and I hadn’t even called Meg for a couple of weeks. Finally, I called her up and she was excited. “I was about to call you. I found the silver lining to being a senior for two years….another spring break! I just saw this great spring break deal and was hoping to set up a group trip.” I was enthralled with her details of traveling to warm, sunny Mexico in two weeks. “Is there any way you can join me?”

“Goodness …I don’t know”

“I know you have work now. Do you have any vacation days?” Meg questioned.

“Well, honestly, I’m not sure how many I’ve earned at this point. I started in June of last year, over 8 months ago…. I’m going to have to look into it.”

“Oh, it would be so fun”

“It sounds great, but don’t get your hopes up. I’ll check, though and I’ll get back to you in a couple days. Ok, Meg?”

“Yeah, I get it, but I’d love to have you.”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know. … but I think I’m going to turn in now. I’ve got to leave at 7oclock sharp tomorrow for work.”

“Ok,…oh, wait, I meant to tell you. Brennan’s dad, who works over at the base, said Kyle’s battalion shipped out yesterday.”

“Oh, thanks for letting me know. I’ll have to send him a card. Easter’s coming up. Does he celebrate?”

“I think he must. He wore a cross pendant a few times. But his birthday is coming up in not too long. He mentioned it in class once. April 7.”

“Thanks. Hopefully I can remember to get something out….OK, gotta go” I replied.

After our farewells, I had started to make my to do list for the next day. Right at the top I wrote “BUY an Easter and birthday card for Kyle.” “That should work,” I thought, “now to bed.”

Startled, I jumped when my first timer had gone off. I need to go get dressed for the snowy weather. It was sunny today, but quite cold. As I gathered my snow gear, I remembered that as it turned out, I couldn’t go on spring break with Meg, much to our mutual disappointment. I had a big presentation coming up and being so new, I just didn’t think I could swing both. Honestly, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself because it would have been on my mind stressing me out the whole time. So, even though, I had remembered and bought the cards, it was an out of sight, out of mind situation. “safe spot” I had stuck them in before I found them. Then I had settled onto my sofa and filled in a little note: “Meg said you wore a cross sometimes, so I thought you may celebrate Easter. I hope your Easter is blessed and that you receive peace from Christ as you are so far away. If you get a chance, tell me how you celebrated Easter in Afghanistan.”

I had a great Easter with my family and I overindulged at our Easter feast – lamb, ham, parsley potatoes, asparagus, creamed corn, and more. It was so delicious, and as I didn’t spend much time on my meals living alone, it was a true treat. Even though I had dropped off the letter promptly, I never heard from Kyle, though, and Meg hadn’t either as I found out when we had pizza shortly after she arrived, tanned, back in the States. Still, I sent his birthday card, wondering how old he was as I signed it. I didn’t really know anybody who was in the military. That life was so different. So far away from his family…in such danger…in another culture. I had heard that you became great buddies with the others in your squad. “I hope that’s true,” I remember thinking as I enjoyed that evening with Meg.

As I searched for my mittens and hat in my clean laundry (still in the basket), I remembered that it hadn’t been until after Meg’s graduation that we found out any more about Kyle. Brennan informed us that according to his father, Kyle’s name had been published in the base’s newsletter. He had been near the perimeter of the base during the last attack we had heard about on the news. An IED had come very close to him, but no one had been seriously hurt. 

Later that summer, I had gotten a letter from him. It was apologetic: “I’m sorry for taking so long to reply. I’ve been very busy and had some closer calls than I would have liked. I did get to the chapel on Easter – and most Sundays. I’ve given some deep thought to my faith here and I’d like to know more about Jesus, who was willing to die to save others. Chapel was nice, but even though they tried, Easter dinner was not what I’m used to. No, complaints though. It has been nice to see a new part of the world.” He wrote a bit more about Afghanistan and his birthday. Then he thanked me for sending him two cards, and finished it off with “Your friend, Kyle”.

I had often thought about him that summer, but as Meg had gotten a job elsewhere and I had no way to get intel from Brennan’s day, I really only knew what I heard on the news. I couldn’t get the guy, my age, a regular fun guy, who was in danger to help others and to keep others secure. I decided the least I could do was write every once in a while. 

I found my gear and decided to warm up the car. “Good thing for technology,” I thought as I started the car from my front window. I glanced down at a picture that Kyle had sent me from Afghanistan that was now on my refrigerator and remember that for the next year, I tried to write a letter or send a card, sometimes adding a news clipping or other items of interest once a month. About every other month I’d get one back. I found out the next April that Kyle was turning 21, so he was about a year and a half younger than me. I learned he had two brothers, one older and one younger, but that his mother had died when he was 8 of cancer. I learned that he was studying a new language now – Dari – he informed me that that is the correct name for Farsi, and that he already had an associate’s degree and was hoping to finish his bachelor’s after this tour in Afghanistan was over. While we didn’t write a lot, I had started to enjoy the routine of our occasional correspondence. I didn’t even have to remind myself to write. But then I didn’t hear from him. The normal break of 8 weeks turned to 12, then 16. I hadn’t noticed at first, but as I grabbed a couple of Christmas cards in the mall to fill out, it dawned on me. I felt a little sad, a bit hurt, and then a wave of concern. “It’s probably nothing, “I comforted myself, but I couldn’t stop counting the weeks after that. I had checked with Meg and she hadn’t heard anything, but she hadn’t kept up with the writing either, she said. I had started praying for Kyle’s safety and wondering if I’d ever hear from him again.

After 6 months I had gotten a letter, but the handwriting was different. “I’m having my dad write this as I was injured. I’m home, but I will be laid up for a while. I’d rather tell you my story in person.”

I put down the letter and said a little prayer of thanks. Of course, I would visit him. Since he had indicated that “I’m not going anywhere. Come anytime.” I decided that the next Saturday would work fine for me. He was only across town, this guy who risked his life for our country. I was honored he even wanted to see me.

His note was so low key, I was not prepared for what I encountered. I saw Kyle smiling bashfully, but he had a scar near his right temple, and this pleasant Kyle was missing his right arm and right leg. I was overcome, but I held it together. “Kyle, Kyle, it’s so nice to see you.”

“I didn’t think you would come so soon,” Kyle answered and seeing my alarm, “but I’m so glad you did.”

“You’ve been through a lot. I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

“To be honest, I can feel sorry for myself too sometimes. I’m trying to focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t though.”

“Are you hurting?”

“No, not now. Rehab does hurt and sometimes I get ghost pain.” We continued to talk and he told me how he was too close to the IED this time. He hadn’t even had time to react. I learned he had also broken his left leg, and that it was going to take several surgeries to fix it up, and that the scar by his temple had been a worrisome gash at first. I had to work to keep my tears in and I noted that even though he said he felt sorry for himself at times, I didn’t hear any hint of it today.

We were interrupted by a therapist coming to wheel him for an appointment. As the two workers lifted him from the bed to the wheelchair and he was settled, he had pointed to the drawer. “All your letters are in there. It meant the world to me that a relative stranger would take the time to write even though I stopped writing back. Thank you. Please come back.”

I put down the picture and grabbed my keys. I walked to the now warm car and checked that everything I needed was in the trunk.  Kyle’s story continued in my mind because I had gone back and watched as Kyle had a half a dozen more surgeries, got a serious infection after one of them, that required copious amounts of intravenous antibiotics for a couple weeks, but I also saw him also learn to write with his left hand. He was usually his quiet pleasant self, but as I spent more time with him, I became familiar with the subtle undertones like the one I had noticed at the coffeehouse. Despite his pleasantness he did struggle with fear, weariness, and sometimes anger.

He moved back into his dad’s house and continued outpatient therapy the next fall. He had learn to write and operate his wheelchair so he could take care of his personal needs. Now that the surgeries were done, he was learning how to walk with his prosthetic. I was inspired. I was a hard worker, but would I be defeated if I had such a huge setback? 

Kyle had invited me to the Christmas Advent service with him. It was his first trip anywhere except to the rehab center. I had asked him, “Why? Why to church?”

“I did spend some time angry with God, but over all my faith has grown. I’ve had time to read my Bible and lots of time to think. This is the life God wants me to have and He has a job for me to do. I mean, how many times do you get paid to sit around in bed for a year?” He managed a smile, but I knew it had been a hard year. Still, even I could see the blessings and that morning in church I had seen his sincerity. My respect for him grew by leaps and bounds.

I’m pulling into Kyle’s now familiar driveway. We got 5 inches of snow yesterday and as it is Saturday and I’m off of work and Kyle has no therapy, we are doing something different. This incredible man has started to be able to walk with crutches, so I’m taking him sledding. It’s going to be interesting getting from the car to the edge of the hill…and I’m thinking that I may have to drive down to bring him up to the top again, but it will be worth it...and it will be fun to go sledding together again.