My Princess

"Kirin?" Faela muttered my name with great urgency, twisting her neck to find my eyes, though I remained frozen - lost in the chaos of my mind.

... A princess? The word had danced off her tongue and into my heart, shaking me to the core. Of course she'd always been a princess to me - those sea green eyes of hers, and the waves of silvery hair pouring down her back like a waterfall could only compose the visage of royalty or divinity. Then she would decorate herself in pearls and silk flowers... I don't know why I hadn't seen it sooner.

We'd grown up together. Others would call us sisters, but I'd always known we were more than that. An elf among hillfolk, or so we'd assumed. Yet along with princess, she had shared with me another title, 'nymph.' It hadn't occurred to me that my worship of her may be justified beyond affection.

'My princess,' it was just a pet-name... She called me 'Kiki' much the same, on account of my short stature in contrast to her's. But the difference was, her name for me was only a joke, and until that moment, I'd had no reason to suspect hers wasn't.

What hit me hardest was the fact she'd lied to me. So before anything else, I had to ask, "How long have you known?"

She turned away with a sharp sigh, pinching her brow. "Kiki..."

"How long have you known?" I repeated, my chest tightening.

"Since the day we met."

I couldn't believe her. Why would she have kept it secret for eighty years? I wrapped my fingers around the folds of my dress, drawing my feet in under the branch we sat on. Even through my confliction, the evening sun filtering through the canopy sparkled as an aura around her head, making my heart flutter.

"I was trusted with protecting this valley, to prove my worth as a guardian spirit before my ascension."

My unease was diluted by curiosity. "Ascension?"

She looked straight at me, her eyes glossing over. "On the turn of my hundredth year, I am to return home to the Twilight Vale and take over from my mother, as Matriarch."

"But that's next week..." The words slipped out, and by my next breath she was in tears. I hadn't forgiven her, though I wrapped my arm around her by instinct. She leaned into me, brushing her fingers across her cheeks.

"I am not to return. Becoming Matriarch means leaving the mortal realm behind forever."

"Then I'll go with you."

She gasped, fighting to compose herself. "I couldn't ask you to leave all this behind. Your family, your world..."

"You're my world." I held her tighter. "Why should this be goodbye?"

I felt her calm down, steadying her breaths with each exchange. "I know it doesn't have to be... But it is not the life I wanted." She met my gaze once more. "I love this place. I've been here longer than the time I spent back home. The mortal realm is beautiful. The way the trees change their shade through the year, and blossoms give way to fruits. The sun and moon, arms entwined forever dance across the sky, against a celestial curtain of starlight. The bugs, the birds and beasts exist together in chaotic balance, growing and changing, living and dying. Flowers bloom and wither, the land is tilled, planted and harvested. And then there are the people, with such passions, hopes and dreams for a future they cannot yet see."

I was moved by her words, looking ahead to the pond and trees, then beyond to the village and seeing the world with a new appreciation.

"The Twilight Vale is beautiful, of course. Yet it is not the same beauty. There, everything is stagnant and still. The trees do not bloom nor loose their leaves. The sky is forever dark, and seasons do not pass. There is no birth, nor aging or dying. I could only grow by spending the years here. My people are created, moulded from clay and granted life, but it is only existence. And I am to rule over them until I choose to craft a daughter to replace me. Then what? I am to spend eternity doing nought except contemplating the brief time I spent here, and wishing to return." I noted the anger in her expression. "Is that life? If so, I don't want to live it."

I'd never known Faela to say something with such ferocity. I understood why she had kept it from me all those years - it was a truth even she couldn't accept. Though I didn't yet appreciate the true purpose or importance of her role, I was determined to reach a compromise, or find an alternative.

"What if you were to stay?"

She shook her head. "I have no choice in the matter. One week from now, I will simply disappear from this realm, and return home."

"Then... What will happen to me if I go with you?" As much as I hated making it about me again, I had to know.

"You'll become an immortal too. The same as everyone else there. Never ageing, never dying. If you take my hand when the time comes, we will cross over together, but there'll be no way back."

As much as I loved her... As much as I wanted to go with her... The thought of eternity terrified me. I knew what she meant by her resentment. Existence without change was an idea I could scarcely fathom. The way she described her home realm - it sounded like death. And that's why I had to ask myself, was I ready to die to be with her?

I had only ever known a mortal life, and therefore my thoughts and feelings had been shaped by changes. A hundred years was merely a forth of my expected life span - four centuries that would be spent working the land much like the rest of my species.

We'd spent those springs fishing in the creek and weaving baskets. In summer we'd harvest the barley and picnic in the meadow. Autumn was for picking fruit and making cider, which we'd drink all winter long to warm us after building snowmen and skating on the pond.

I had entertained the idea of my marriage to Faela, maybe adopting children, and sharing those marvellous experiences with them. We'd made so many plans. She wanted to see the northern lights, I dreamt of visiting the ocean. There was so much we had left to do and see. I had my parents, friends and siblings to think of. And I selfishly wondered if I could have it all with someone else - if I would ever love again.

However, I quickly realised that the things I could do and who I did them with were completely different. Either I could live that mortal life with anyone else, or I could be with Faela. I was fortunate to have a choice in the matter.

I kissed her on the forehead, taking her hand in mine. "Life wouldn't be worth living without you. And who knows, together, things may be different."

She quietly watched me a while, apparently studying me. If I didn't know any better, I'd have guessed she was trying to read my mind.

The coming week was going to be a long one.

***

We spent six days and nights hurriedly wrapping up our loose ends. My family were reluctant to let me go, yet since I'd made up my mind on it, they offered their blessing. I left my few possessions between them and my friends, while our cabin and garden were on my parents' land anyway, so that took care of itself.

At dawn, me and Faela said our goodbyes and headed to the top of the hill together to watch one last sunrise. Before it did, the sky lit up in a fiery orange, with wisps of cloud sailing upon an early spring breeze. Birds sang for the first blossoms, cows lowed and lambs bleated across the fields. Captured in that still morning, my heart ached, until Faela took my hand and turned to face me.

I gathered myself. "Happy birthday." I wished, leaning in to kiss her properly, ready to leave that place and follow her to the other side. The wind kicked up, billowing against the grass and circling around us. I would follow her anywhere, my love, my princess.

She withdrew from our embrace, tearful though smiling all the while. We lifted from the floor, on our way there... And then...

Faela pushed me.

I sank back to the ground, my heart breaking.

"Live your life, Kirin. Live it for both of us."

I reached out, stretching up on my toes, desperate to touch her. "No, don't go without me!" I begged, my voice failing and tears spilling over my cheeks.

"Live, and grow, love and change. Do it all and more, my love." She giggled. "My Kiki."

"My Princess!" I cried, leaping as high as I could.

Her skin glimmered, lighting up like a star. And then she was gone. All that was left of her was the silk flower she'd worn in her hair, a forget-me-not.