Detritus

Having to bury his 3-year old son pouring dirt is the heaviest thing the stonecutter easily did in his 42 year old life. However, some believed Mr Brian Smith buried his infant alive is what caused his breakdown and subsequent incarceration and reentry to society. Problem is no one knows for sure.

He went a week straight subsisting on water losing 5 pounds before anyone else took notice. His lips always quivered and his frozen face was a statue itself out of which no emotion was carved as if Marcus Aurelius himself manifested through him.

Brian just couldn’t understand why it happened to him. First he lost Susie and their daughter Meryl in a car crash. And he often felt ‘weird’ about marrying Susie late as he would not possibly be alive to see Allegheny graduate. Of course, as fate would have it it was he who buried his son rather.

He avoided the antidepressants and as much reluctant he was to do his daily chores, he did so catatonically. But no one cared. The whole society itself has been zombified moving in a block en masse, soporific, trance-state, either hanging by bats from the Metro to LA or wriggling like sardines in OCTA.

Fiona noticed his state. She only came twice a week to do the dishes and help him with meds. The food got delivered from the county. Of course as a state-appointed caregiver she knew if the situation became egregious she would need to call in social workers if not notify the medical professional or his care coordination.

It would never get to that stage though as Brian would somehow find ways to bounce back and manage his daily quota of two work orders as an independent contractor. 

“I am fine Fiona,” he said.

“Do you know how gaunt you look, dear?” she murmured with the glow of an angel.

“Fiona, you worry too much.”

“See if it wasn’t for your work you wouldn’t get out yourself.”

Of course, Fiona didn’t know anything about his work. The fact that he has been going to a distant park to make some arrangements for himself for the last two weeks. The ground has been neatly excavated in a rectangular fashion. The challenge was to stop working when the casual hikers came.

Fiona looked at him. His face was swollen as if he stayed all night mulling over the loss of his child to pneumonia. Nowadays, people get vaccines and yet still Aleghenny’s soul has been taken to Ultimate Thule of consciousness. To this date, he still doesn’t understand the genetic deficiency that caused him to react to the vaccine. It was as if they performed some hand waving and voilà due to all the waivers he signed, all the burden just vanished! He thought of suing them but to what end?

Brian was put on 24-hour watch and 3-day hold. The commissioner emphasized the need for him to take medications. That as long as he followed-up weekly with his therapist and doctor he would be okay.

The day Fiona arrived with plans to take the soiled blankets and linens to the cleaners she would get the shock of her life. The door was unlocked. The dishes are strewn everywhere. Meds scattered on the floor. After her first hunch came untrue, she went outside to the backyard. Where did he go? Did he just wander off?

She called her supervisor and notified the authorities. Although it was not a strict ‘silver alert’ per se, since Brian was 58, they put the missing-person alert throughout which automatically texted to people’s phones.

Two days later she would get a call from Brian’s care coordination that Brian had been located by the law enforcement. He was in tatters, as if just gone under barb-wire in Vietnam, disoriented, begging people for pennies while crossing  streets. Mumbling like Moses he has been on meth ever since he wandered off to keep him awake in the cold.

When Fiona went to the hospital, she was in utter disbelief. It possibly couldn’t have been Brian. 

“Can meth do that to a person in just a few days?”

“Well we don’t know what he has been taking. There are much harder shits out there than those like fetty and krokodil.” The male nurse shrugged before walking away.

“What dil?”

She looked from the side of the one-way mirror as another nurse carried a tray to him. He was in a wheelchair and had an ivy connected. He was dressed in hospital clothes and was compliant. He must have been given “shit-load of tranqs” she thought. 

Finally, the nurse let her in.

“Look Brian. You will be okay. I took care of all your work orders and canceled them. Don’t you worry about it. Luckily nothing was missing from yo…”

“Fiona.” Brian looked at him passively. 

“Here are your papers in case you need them…”

“Fiona.”

“What?” Fiona carried on. “Good thing is now you are being forced to take meds. How come you never told me you stopped, Brian?”

“Fiona.”

“What?!”

“Fiona. It’s over.” Brian calmly said. He didn’t utter a single word later that day.

It would be a week before the doctor decided to let him go. Fiona was waiting outside. Brian wanted to just thank the doctor one last time at a sudden change of his demeanor. He looked oddly cheerful.

“So you are ready to leave huh?”

“Yup.” 

“You know that you need to take your meds?”

Brian nodded.

“Well.. looks like once you sign those papers you would be good to go.”

Again Brian nodded.

“And you need to talk to your doctors about the matters we discussed. I know these are heavy and it will take time. And if you don’t want to get a therapist right away, you can always attend the county’s group meeting.” The doctor handed him a paper.

Brian looked at the paper and committed everything to memory. His face was stoic- brazen like the stonecutter he has been over the decades and his fist now held the crumpled paper. People have lost all soul and humanity. The doctor looked startled. But it was too late. His expressionless face seemed to stare deep into his soul as if giving the final sermon. He reached for his neck before the doctor had any time to press the red button. 

It’s futile. Because there are no organisms on this planet to outperform his terabytes of computational speed to react faster than him. The grip tightened from his gaunt arms with two heavy metals for ulna and radius that possessed enough kilopascal to hold back a panther. 

Of course, no one noticed his faint smile as he swiped his card and walked out of the doors.