buster, come here boy

The early morning harbored the same color that I’m feeling today – blue. I closed the car door. Buster wagged his tail patiently waiting for me on the passenger seat.

Me and Buster walked down the beach. Perched on my shoulder is a tote bag with a blanket to lay down on. There was no sun yet, I arrived at the perfect time.

His calloused hand caressed my shoulders. The breeze balanced the pricking heat of the sun. My fingers traced a heart on the grains of the sand.

“Look.” I spoke.

A giggle burst through his mouth. I felt the vibrations of his laughter as I laid my head on his chest. His deep breaths that made his chest expand and contract; a simple melody that sends me into a peaceful trance. Rising and falling, rising and falling, rising and falling.

A giggle burst through my mouth. The sound of waves, music to my ears, the perfect ambiance for a perfect sunset. No wonder, I’m in wonder and awe. I look up at him.

His freckled cheeks; stars to the night sky; constellations to my eyes. He was always deep in thought. ‘What are you thinking about?’ I’d ask him on days where I can’t keep my mouth shut. ‘Nothing much,’ he replied with a boyish smile.

“Buster, come here boy.” he whistled out.

Our dog, in lightning speed, ran towards us…

“Buster, come here boy.” I called out.

My dog ran towards me, not as fast as he used to run. His golden coat shimmering under the fresh sun. His waggling tail making silent beats on the sand.

Silence. It was the first time I heard silence. There was no one at the beach. The sun was rising; blue, red, and orange hues, slowly appearing, transitioning from a dark sky.

The crash of the waves, it trashed my heart, ruined my mind. Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! A flock of seagulls landed nearby.

I took in a deep breath. Salt in the wind. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. A lot of good memories happened here, and a lot of bad ones too. My fingers traced the sand. Buster sat in front of me, waiting for a command.

“Who’s a good boy?” he asked pursing his lips, aggressively scratching him.

Buster laid on the sand belly up. Clearly, reveling in the attention he was getting. I joined in, two of my hands rubbing his belly. Four hands all up rubbing his belly. A spoiled Buster, clearly, loving all of the tender, love, and affection.

“Come on boy.” I said as I stood up.

My feet pressed down on the grainy sand. I walked towards the shore. Paddy’s Bar, with its big blue and yellow sign that lit up the night, is still closed. The last time I was here, I think it was, four – five years ago. It’s been too long. I don’t have any plans to go back in there.

My hand squeezed his. Buster running along in front of us. I kissed his nose.

“I don’t want this day to end.” He whispered in my ear.

The waves took our steps, making them disappear as we walked along the shore.

Buster was running along in front of me. I’ve walked past Paddy’s Bar. I’m never going back in there.

“Who is she?!” I asked, tears forming in my eyes.

“Look babe, it’s not what it looks like,” he tried reaching for my arm, I yanked it away. “Please, let me explain.”

I jumped from the patio of the bar, skipping the five-step stair. And I ran towards the shore. My heart was heavy in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. Tears streamed down my cheeks. My hands were shaking. My legs threatened to give way. The waves, the squawking birds, the music from the bar, overwhelming. I heard steps from behind.

“Babe, I’m sorry. Please, let me explain.” He said, out of breath, out of mind. This asshole.

“Fuck you!” I said with as much disgust I could muster.

My plaid shirt was on the sand. The cold waves eased their way up my legs. Buster cautiously trailing behind me.

I floated on my back. The water carrying all of me; physical weight, emotional baggage, mental suitcases of memories I’d very much like to unload. The waves lifted me up, then brought me back down. Rising and falling, rising and falling, rising and falling.

The sky was turning into a pastel blue. I don’t ever want to leave the water. If anything, the ocean can swallow me whole and plunge me straight into her depths.

From behind, his arms snaked around my waist. He lifted me up from the water. A maniacal laugh came out of him.

“Let me go!” I said in a high pitch voice.

“Never!” He said, still laughing, treading along the waters while I was still in his grasps.

“Buster, let’s go.” I said. The water dripped from my skin, grabbing my shirt from the ground.

I squinted, looking back on the shores and the horizon. The sun was up. It was a brand new day. The bustling of the city will begin in an hour or two.

It was foolish of me to come here, after all these years. Memories still fresh, this place, a reminder that a wound is still open. Slowly bleeding me out until my heart and mind turn pale.

“Buster, come here boy.” He said. With his calloused hand, he took me by the hand.

We grabbed our things. I looked back at the horizon and shores. It was a beautiful dusky late afternoon. In an hour or two, the night parties will begin. Bonfires and tropical music will permeate the beach. Young and old will share the same alcoholic air and deafening sound.

“Do we really have to go?” I asked. “I mean we can invite your parents over by Paddy’s Bar. It’s a nice presentable family-friendly restaurant and bar.”

“Ha-ha, nice try, but I’m not taking any chances,” he put his arm around me, “and besides, they want to see our place.”

“Buster, come here boy.” I told Buster as he jumped up to the passenger seat. “Good boy.”

The car door closed with a bang. The engine rumbled. Goodbye beach, goodbye Paddy’s Bar. I won’t miss any of you one bit.