Beyond the Gates

I am unaware of the daily chores happening on our local roads for a year now. One year ago from today, I was sent from my office to work from home with company laptop , which eventually needed a plugged in charger for it to work. I am a housewife for seven years now and a mother of 6 year old boy. I had the wish of a girl child since my boy was 1 year old, even though like most women I hated the post delivery physical difficulties I had to face. And as everyone know it was not at all safe to get pregnant during the pandemic days , I successfully joined the Pandemic Pregnancy Club. Things were easy as I had the chance to restrain from my pregnancy dilemmas and I could work , eat , throw up, house chores, son’s online class…

I am a Marketing Specialist and I had to talk to people in person every single day of my work and close the sales. Pregnancy and Sales is a good match as it enables the stress to the baby inside and baby itself will want to walkout. I woke up in the morning , do the house chores , make my son attend his online class , play with him , log into our work credentials , talk with customers , fight with their bargains , taking final prices from heads , online campaigns , home chores , work calls , the days were terrific. In between I was so obsessed with home organizing YouTube videos and go after it , DIYS, cluttering decluttering , minimalism,birthday celebrations, cooking specials. I added things to my life like it was going to an end and I totally forgot that I need to rest and the baby inside me need a rest , All these activities in the day gave me sleepless nights . Baby inside kept on moving and rolling restlessly from the beginning of 5 months, unlike my first baby , for him I had to drink hot boiled water to check his movement.

Months passed with achieved and non-achieved targets with and without incentives respectively, From the month of 7 of my pregnancy , I started to feel pain deep down and I was unaware of labor pain during the first pregnancy and I had a C-section.

I consulted the doctor , she said it might be the weight of the child on the cut I had already.During the middle of 3^rd trimester doctor asked me to decide a date before Christmas for my labor after checking my reports, even though the due date was on Jan 6th 2021 .But the very next day , I started getting pain from morning 6:30 am with a time interval of 5-10 minutes, It was the 33^rd week of my pregnancy and a labor was totally unexpected for me. I should have been prepared during the beginning of the trimester , but the truth was I was not prepared for the labor. It was November 26^th, 2020, a national strike day , and the hospital which I was consulting didn’t had emergency units for the baby, so I was transferred to a better hospital.

We reached the hospital at 1:30 pm , I was directly taken to the labor area,I started from my home after breakfast , and was really hungry at that moment , I am a person who cannot stand hunger , more than anything else in the world, but all were happening so unexpected.The attenders asked whether I need a stretcher as I entered the hospital , I said,”No I am fine” and I almost fainted as I walked out of the ambulance car. That made me to enter the labor room in a wheel chair. So many things were happening at the same time , like dress change , Covid-19 testing , RT - PCR testing instrument was long enough to shed thousands of tears from my eyes,body cleaning , preparing for C- section.

It was a baby Girl at 3:28 pm , Nov 26^th 2020.

I was totally unaware of preterm birth,and I was expecting to hold my little cuddle soon after I reach my room.

Two main pains we have to face during the pandemic plangency is that during delivery time we have to pay for PPE Kits for the doctors and the nurses attending us , and watching them wearing that near us.

All went well and I tested negative for Covid-19 and I was shifted to the room the very next day.

I reached the hospital room , saw my mother’s unhappy face , and was told that baby was in the NICU and was having breathing problem, low weight, etc.. I had blood infection so I was instructed not to see the baby for one day. All the bliss stopped like a red signal when you don’t have your bay around to caress and feed.

After a day on 28^{th November 2020} , I was called for the “TALK” to the NICU at 12:30 pm ,and the doctor explained me the condition of my baby. Me and my mother was permitted to see her. Before entering NICU we used Sanitizer , while entering each door we used it, wore a hospital gown from the basket and as I reached nearer , there was only the sound of machines beeping ,I could see her lying in the incubator, with how many tubes and pipes I don’t know connected to less than 4 pounds body ,sleeping sound with all that wires inside and out.I was expecting fair and fluffy baby like my first one. I was shattered at the view, all the strength inside me melted down. She was lean and little.

I am a person who have seen all sorts of hardships from childhood, like debt , hunger , home financial ,parental fights, raising kids of aunties , uncles and cousins. So I am a mentally and physically fit person , but the view of my baby in this situation was totally unexpected and beyond my strength limit . I left the NICU with a weighing heart to my room.

I was instructed to give expressed milk for my bay in bottles so that they can feed her through tube.Producing Milk without your baby near is a hard thing to happen , so I sang for my baby as I was expressing milk , I heard music , I watched all premature baby taking care videos , while she was at the NICU. Made myself mentally more strong , I waited for each call, “Baby of Me” from NICU, to see her , feed her. She started taking her feed through tube , then through steel feeder , and finally she sucked. Bliss..

I want to thank my well experienced mother and my calm husband to help me cross this situation.