Hearts harder than Glaciers

"It's not that I don't wanna be here, I just don't wanna stay here." Nevil shouted at his dad while sitting on the dinner table. 

Brian stared Nevil for a few straight moments and then he said "No, It's not that you don't wanna stay here. it's just that you don't wanna stay with me". Nevil roled is eyes with a sign of annoyance. He was literally fed up with having this conversation again and again. He leaves the dinner table with his plate without completing his dinner. 

Brian leaned backward and said "I was your age when I joined the army. Just like you I was eager to loose every weight on my back and fly like a falcon and.. "

"So all you want for me to end up like you? No thanks, I rather rot in a street or be around strangers for the rest of my life than to be like you who just acts to be familiar with his own son."

"..Nevil...." Brian shouts in anger. 

Nevil turns around while cleaning the dishes and looks at Brian. He wipes the tear from his face and slams the plate in his hand inside the sink and walks towards the stairs to his room. On his way he says "I'm leaving tomorrow and nothing's changing that".

He runs up the stairs and enters his room. He shuts the door soo loudly that Brian downstairs at the dinner table hears it. Nevil walks to his cubbord to pack a few things and grabs his admission letter he received from his new college 'Glacier' he applied for. He sighs in grief and leans his head on the bed. For a few moments he stares blankly at his room ceiling with his disturbed mindset. He frankly regretted the argument he had with his dad but he knew there was nothing he could do to simplify it. It was already complicated like this, especially after his mom passed away last year. Brian worked in the army for thirty years. Nevil was raised by his mom 'Marie' in a small city called Rawfillow. Nevil has always been in this city and often felt tied up. He was an average student and had a few friends. He often spent most of his time with his mother. She always supported him with his dreams and was always giving him positive vibes. They had a beautiful bonding together. Even through the teenager phase, Nevil always felt his mother to be the closest person. It wasn't like Brian always been in a distance with his family. He used to visit them twice a year for his vacation but, he often spent his time in front of the television screen than his family. When Marie passed away Brian visited the town for three days and after the funeral he flew back to join his duty. He got retired six months later and that's all the time Nevil and Brian really spent together. 

In the early weeks it was a bit awkward but later nothing really mattered. Brain and Nevil both started to mind their own business in the house. They barely talked to each other during the day. Nevil was off to school and Brian was working on his idea of opening a bar. Every night they used to sit at the dinner table and talk out of nessecity. The asked about each other's day and pretend that they cared for each other but, the fact was they both knew that the other didn't care for anything.

The sound of the phone hit Nevil's ear. He roled on his bed to reach the computer table beside to reach his phone. He unplugged his phone from charging and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, It's Andrew. What are you doing?"

"Ah.... I was just sleeping. Why? What happened?"

"Nothing. Just wanna make sure that you're up for Curven tomorrow."

"Well, obviously I am"

"Did you talk to your dad?"

Nevil paused for a moment and answered "Yeah. It turned out as expected."

"You sure you're going to leave him?"

Nevil angrily "You think I have a choice here? Going to Glacier was my dream dude. Now when my application has been approved, should I just let back just because of this drama?"

Andrew is speechless...

"Is it your rage speaking or you?"

Nevil explodes with anger and hangs up the phone call.

Suddenly he hears footsteps closing through the stairs. He obviously knows that it's his dad. He quickly covers his whole body with the blanket and hides his approved college application. He pretends to be sleeping. Brian opens the room door and enters in with a beer bottle in his hand. He sees Nevil sleeping. He drags the computer chair from the table and places it beside the bed and sits on it. Nevil still pretends to be in a deep sleep. Brian gently places his hand on Nevil head and starts crying. 

"I know these are the consequences of my doing. When I was supposed to be beside you wiping your tears when Marie passed away, I was working for some foolish valor. I never took you out to a park and played with you like a dad should . I never dropped you to school or helped with your homework but, when Marie used to call me when you were a kid saying you were sick. I used to breathe in anguish. When she called you passed the eighth grade, I used to be in tears. My biggest regret till today is that I didn't see my son go through all these phases of his life and I couldn't be there for him when I should have been. When I married your mom I to her to raise you strong so that even if I die in the army one day, it wouldn't make any dent on your focus. When I returned from the army, I thought finally I would have some time to spend with you before I join your mom but you seemed to be liking your personal space so I decided not to disturb it. I thought with time we'll both start talking and laughing more like a father and a son should but.... (starts sobbing)..."

Nevil is full of tears. He has never heard his father talking like this. He starts crying under the blanket.

Brian wiping his tears.. " I wont let my failure to be the obstacles of your destiny. I want you to live your life. The one your mom wanted you to have. I made my choices and I should let you make yours. You've always made my proud".

Brian gets up and walks towards the door to leave the room. Nevil wanted to get up and hug his dad but he doesn't. He stays still while crying.

Brian looks back at Nevil and then walks out of the room. 

Nevil bursts out in tears once Brian steps out of his room. He always had his pain about his relationship with his father in a corner of his heart but after he finally heard is father's feelings he couldn't resist. He wanted to tear the application letter and stay with Brian but, it was too late. He had already booked the tickets for Curven and paid his advance fees for the college. He knew it was too late. He fell back on the bed in anguish and continued staring at the ceiling. He wanted a magical whip to appear before him to heal his heart and simplify the situation but, the situation wasn't complicated anymore. It was just a hard choice that was to be made. He drifted into sleep unknowingly. The night had a lot say but, the two hearts blead like never before. The wolves were still hungry but none touched the flesh, The demons were still plundering souls but blessed these two for heaven. 

The sun rose as usual despite everything. Nevil wakes up and sees his clock. It's seven. He has a flight to catch to Curven at nine. Nevil didn't know what to do. He decides to go downstairs to check on Brian. When climbing down the stairs, he noticed two plates with breakfast on the dinner table. Nevil is surprised. He looks in the kitchen and sees Brian preparing a juice.

Brian walks towards Nevil with two glasses of juice on a tray and places it on the dinner table. Brian drags a chair and sits. Nevil is still looking at Brian. 

"Sit and have your breakfast. You don't wanna be late for your flight."

Nevil controls the tear rolling on his chin and wipes it. He sits and has starts eating the breakfast without saying another word.

"This tastes amazing"

Nevil points at the breakfast.

"Well, thank you."

Brian finishes his breakfast and moves away from the table.

"Get ready fast. I'll be dropping you to the airport" Brian says while washing the dishes.

Nevil still confused about the decision he made says "Okay"

Nevil finishes the breakfast and runs to. his room to get ready. He calls his friends Andrew.

"Hello? Andrew?"

"Yeah? what's up? "

"Listen man, I don't know if I did the right thing. I can't leave my dad alone here. What was I thinking?"

"Now it's you talking"

"I'm not joking man, I don't know what o do."

"Well buddy, Do what you're supposed to do."

Nevil stays blank for some time. He decides to pack the rest of the things in his backpack. He finally gets ready and goes downstairs.

Brian is waiting for him while sitting on the couch. He sees Nevil walking down the stairs with his backpack on. Both Brian and Nevil look at each other for a moment.

"Shall we? " Brian says while pointing towards the door.

Nevil doesn't say anything. He just walks behind Brian. 

They both get in the car. Brian starts driving. Through out the way to airport, Nevil questions himself number of times about this decision.

"Why do I have to be soo indecisive? Why can't I just not think about any of these? " Nevil questions himself but, no word reaches to eithers mouth. There's a terrible scilene in the front cabin of the car. Both are desperate to talk but both are also terrified to. They finally reach the airport.

They enter in. Nevil finds his friend Andrew waiting with his luggage. They both wave at each other. 

"Listen I don't want to bother you young lads anymore. I'll leave. Have a good time son."

Brian tries to leave but Nevil breaks his silence.

"Dad? "

Brian looks at Nevil.

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna miss you dad. I know we haven't talked enough about this but, it's just a two year course. I'll be right back after completing it so I don't want you to be depressed about it. I'll be visiting you at least once every month so, it won't be too long."

As soon as he said that Nevil could see happiness filling in Brains eyes.

Brian hugs him and says " I just want you to know your mom would be proud.... and me too."

Nevil felt like a ton of weight released from his chest.

"I'll call you once I reach Curven."

Nevil says with his healed heart.

Brian pats Nevil's back and leaves.

Nevil walks towards Andrew. He turns back and looks at his dad leaving the airport while waving him good bye. Nevil waves back.

"Well, that didn't turn out to be as expected" Andrew mocks ironically.

"No, It didn't." Nevil answers while still looking at his dad.

Both Nevil and Andrew asked the plane from Rawfillow to Curven. They reach the Curven city after eight hours of exhausting flight. The check in to their college and move to their hostel rooms.

Nevil enters his new room. He felt how empty it feels. The worst part of this was that he knew what was wrong. He sighs in exhaustion and closes the door. He walks to the bed and sits on it. He opens his backpack and takes out a table photo frame which has a photo of Brian and Marie with Nevil. The photo was taken when Nevil was young. He placed the frame under the bed lamp of the table beside the bed. He takes out his phone out of his pocket and makes a call.

He hears the voice.

"Nevil?"

"Uhh.. Hey dad. I just reached Curvel and checked into my college."

Brian paused for a second thinking of what to say next and then says..

"Good. How was your flight?"

"It was exhausting. I'm really tired but I wanted to talk to you."

Brian still uncomfortably 

"About what?"

By that time Nevil had enough of these experiences over years. He knew he had to do what's right.

"Well, How was your day dad? "

Brian heart filled with joy. He knew this was the time to fix all the gaps between them.

"My old friend Bob showed up today."

"Yeah? How's he doing? "

"Pretty good. He wants me to join his band"

Both Nevil and Brian started laughing.

Not all flowers emit fragrance but, all brew out to be fruits and seeds. Hardest rocks are turned fine and brittle by the nature. Everything has its love for you.. you just have to perceive it without pursuing it.