Just a Little Stroll in the Woods

It started out as just a little stroll in the woods.  But when it was over, my whole life had been dramatically altered.  I would never see the world the way I had before.  Sunsets would take on new meanings.  The early morning hours would crackle with electricity I had never known before Virgil had guided through the Inferno as he had Dante Alighieri over eight hundred years ago. This metaphysical journey was hard for my finite mind to comprehend, but I am getting ahead of myself. I must start at the beginning.  I must try to make sense of things I've seen that make absolutely no sense to my rational, practical mind.

My foray began as an innocent jaunt after a hard day at the University where I am working on my doctorate thesis in philosophy. My professor saw some errors in my premise which burst my bubble and plummeted me into despair.  Rather than sit in my flat and mope, I decided to take a stroll into the woods behind my domicile.  Just before arriving at what is known as the deep woods, there is an idyllic stream that babbles and gurgles.  I have sat myself on the banks when I needed some solace, but today I decided to enter the deep woods even though I had been warned that strange creatures lurked in the dark shadows.  I had gone no more than a short distance when I happened upon a sign that read, "Private Property." The late morning sun reflected off a flaxen thatched roof of a modest cottage.   Not wishing to trespass, I could not quell my bubbling curiosity, so I approached the door.  Painted in a white stain, I noted that the frame was rather small.

"Did you read the sign?" An ancient man with a snow white beard appeared carrying a long walking stick and wearing a straw hat that encircled his head like a halo.

"I beg your pardon, I meant no harm." I took a step back.

It took several minutes before the man smiled and shook his head, "I have had my share of intruders who feel they can help themselves to my apples from the tree over yonder."

He pointed a gnarled, bony finger at a solitary tree near the cottage, "It was given to me to care for."  

Squinting, I could see the apples that hung heavy on the branches were dark as if the apples were rotten.  "Are they rotten?"

"Despite their appearance, those apples contain certain juices that reveal knowledge.  Knowledge no living mortal should know." He pulled one off the branches, "Would you care to partake?" 

He chuckled as he held out the fruit within my reach.

"You said, I should not know." I put my finger on the apple, it was soft and squishy.  I pulled my hand back when I felt something tickled my palm. "What?"

"The apple wanted to feel your hand to see if you were mortal.  And you are, are you not?" His smile unsettled me a bit. "My name is Virgil.  This is my cottage.  I am the guardian of the deep woods." 

"Who appointed you?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"A power much higher than you know." He took a bite of the apple.  A dark juice dribbled down his chin, "What might your name be?"

"Donovan Roetract." I answered, trying not to pay any mind to his grotesque consumption of the apple.

"Well Donovan, would you care to accompany me into the inferno?" He smiled, but his teeth were covered with the dark juice of the apple he was eating.

"The Inferno?"

"It is my solemn duty to guard the entrance, but every so often, I take time to make sure all is well." He tossed the apple core into the high grass and covered his head with his hood,"Come.it's"

He began to walk down a path through the deep woods and I dutifully followed him.  He did not say much as the undergrowth became thicker, but he would extend his hand and the thorny vines would magically part allowing us to proceed.  As we made our way along the path, the sun became scarce, hiding in the canopy of twisted pines that seemed to reach out to us as we passed.

"We are almost there." He spoke, not bothering to turn his head as he continued to walk. 

An unpleasant odor filled my head reminding me of the time I worked in a slaughterhouse and I would clean up the remains of unwanted entrails of the beef after spending several hours in the sun. Each shovel full of bloated bovine organs, tugged viciously at my insides to expel anything remaining in my own stomach.  Often my own vomit would be mixed in with the waste in my shovel.  The odor was so noxious, I began to gag.  

"We have arrived." He announced standing on the precipice of A great abyss.  Peering into the pit, I could see people who appeared to be in great agony. "You have been chosen to experience Hell."

"Chosen?"

"Certainly.  Those I have guided through the Inferno, have seen what awaits them if they choose to come down that path we have traveled." He rubbed his hands together, "You are still alive. The sign speaks to the hopelessness of those unfortunate souls who enter upon their demise."       

The sign was nailed to a long dead spruce, reading, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here..." 

I shuddered upon reading the inscription.  My guide just smiled as we pressed onward.

"Do not fear, Donovan, these things you will see are merely images like A bad dream.  They cannot hurt you." He said as a blood curdling scream sounded. "But some of these images may be quite disturbing.  It is for that reason that you are here."

My sins were not grievous.  No one got hurt from my actions that I was aware of, but my lovers had all claimed that I was self-centered in my affections.  True, I was rather fond of lust which was listed as one of the seven deadly downfalls.  If lust is truly a reason for me being here, then why did it bring forth such blissful pleasure?  The other six were damaging both physically and spiritually and I had avoided them religiously.

More screaming as images of torture were applied to long lines of naked souls being punished for offenses I had no part in.

"Virgil, long time no see." A scantily dressed man embraced my guide.

"Ah Simone, you old devil, how are things shaken?" Virgil seemed pleased to see him.

"Same old, same old, you know." The man pulled a lever and red hot coals were dumped on the next soul in line.  The soul screamed as he burst into flames and disintegrated into ashes.  The next soul stepped forward, the man pulled the lever again repeating the procedure as he Simone shrugged, "Another day in Hell.  What do you expect after all?"

"Take care old fiend.  I will see you on my next journey.  Good seeing you." He smiled and waved.  Simone waved back before pulling the lever again.  After we took a few more steps, my guide spoke to me, "Do not pity those you see suffering, rest assured they are guilty of inflicting far greater suffering on those around them during their lifetime." 

I nodded, having no idea of how else to respond. 

Elephants in Hell?

Each elephant had a layout guiding them. It was then I saw several souls tied and staked to the ground struggling against their restraints.  In horror I watched the elephants step on those staked to the ground. In what I can only describe as a blood bath, those unfortunate souls were crushed under the elephants' feet, leaving a sanguine carnage in their wake.

"Poor fools.  They were the con men and women who robbed from those who could least afford it." Virgil explained, shaking his head, "Onward."

"I need a moment to compare myself." I suddenly felt dizzy.

"As you wish." I know he rolled his eyes as he spoke, but I had no issue with that. A bench appeared out of nowhere. He and I sat in the solace of the darkness. "Dante did not follow the rules."

"How so?" I was again startled by his straightforwardness. 

"You must not report on what you see here.  What goes on in Hell stays in Hell." He offered a half smile at that, "Not because we don't want people to know, but inevitably you will get some of it wrong.  Mortal senses cannot take it all in and will fictionalize some of it like Dante did. Nine levels of Hell?  Seriously?  You cannot quantify this place.  The three divisions represented by three killer cats?  The audacity, but then that was his downfall after all, wasn't it?" He waved his hand and blew air from his cheek, "I was in life A poet, an observer of life around me.  I found great hypocrisy and at the same time, great beauty. The hypocrisy was human made whereas from God came beauty.  Well back then, I would say beauty came from the gods, but I learned when God put me in that cottage."

He put his hands on his knees and dolefully shook his head, "You, Donovan have been given this great opportunity to change the course of your life.  You are lucky.  So many of them were not given the same chance.  They continued to follow a crooked path without anyone to tell them they were on their way to this place."  

More screaming.

When I looked around, I saw souls in a very large metal pot.  suddenly a spigot opened up pouring boiling water on them until they were floating in the steaming water.

"It's teatime I see." He folded his arms across his chest, "Little joke, I'm afraid.  These are the souls of the scammers and frauds." 

I had misrepresented myself at times, but it was harmless, I'm sure.  No one got hurt, but as I watched these souls floating in scalding hot water, I felt rather uncomfortable.

"Shall we proceed?" He waved me to follow him, so I did.

At the next stop, I saw several souls with gourds fastened to their mouths.

"Dreadful." Virgil gasped, "It's feeding time." 

With that a valve opened sending a steady stream of food and liquid into the open end of the gourds.  With no way to stem the rapid flow, I watched as their stomach bulged just before exploding, one by one.

I had overindulged at times, but there was always a good reason for it, right?  Of course there was.

Our next stop, souls were sitting in front of a screen where rapidly moving images and colors held their complete attention. One of them screamed just before his head exploded like a rotted pumpkin.    

"Their lives were devoted to the god of visual technology.  So obsessed with this new god, they could not be without it until they rotted from the inside out.  What a shame, tsk, tsk.  Each of them had a lot of promises only to be sucked out of them by computer images." Virgil watched until the last soul resisted for a moment before exploding in a catharsis of carnage. “The real punishment has yet to come.” 

“What do you mean?  This is horrible.” I was trembling.

“These souls you see, they will reform and do this all over again.” He told me as he began down the path once again.

“And then what?” I asked, refusing to move.

“After a few times, they begin to realize that eternity is a very long time.  Some of them have had to do this more than a hundred times.” He winked, “Come along or you will be mistaken for one of the condemned souls.” 

More screaming and disgusting noises.  I followed him once more. 

“One thing Dante got wrong was that souls here do not continually suffer.” He explained, “Their human bodies are destroyed by their sin and then reformed to suffer all over again.  In that, the penalty is far greater, because you know what will come next.  Rather like poor old Sisyphus, eh?” 

Yeah, like Sisyphus.  More screaming.  It hurt to think there was no way to escape this eternal pain.  What could a person do that would merit such a dreadful outcome?  

“Betrayers.” Virgil pointed to the area just ahead of us.  Souls were gathered in an arena like the Colosseum in Rome.  Doors opened and lions leaped out.  The souls began to beg as the lions growled and circled the helpless souls.  Just as the lions appeared ready to pounce, the ground opened up under each of their feet and a horrible scream arose from the hole as it closed in over them.  Once the hole disappeared, their screaming stopped.

“Dreadful outcome.” Virgil sighed, “But those who betray leave for themselves a terrible ending.  There is very powerful acid in the bottom of their holes.  They get to watch themselves become eaten by the caustic liquid before the sand closes over them. Whoever devised this was a sadist for sure.”    

“Awful.” I stood at the rail looking down on the empty arena.  The lions returned to their lair and new souls were paraded into the arena.  I could not bear to watch this repeated all over again.  I did happen to gaze at one of the souls.  He knew what was coming.  He knew what lay ahead of him.

“I must warn you that the next exhibit is the worst one yet.” Virgil struggled up the steep hill, “It belongs to the butchers of people.  People who took it into their own hands to exterminate those deemed unworthy of living.  I must warn you to stay away from the screen as you may become infected.” 

“Infected?” I was puzzled as he opened the door.

“You shall see.” He nodded as I walked him and stood facing a screen.  I could see Adolph Hitler standing in the middle of the room with Joseph Stalin by his side.  Benito Musselini was also in the room.

“These are the worst offenders to humanity.  All of them committed atrocities against humanity without a second thought.  What happens next will defy anything you will ever see anywhere else.”

It didn’t take long.  The buzzing was nearly deafening.  Each of them began to look around the small encased room.  I could hear them cry out in anticipation. 

The bees flew in, but these bees were enormous and in a short time, they covered all of the butchers.  Each of them screamed out in pain as they were stung again and again with stingers the size of large nails, the nails they drove through Jesus’ hands when they nailed him to the cross.  

Hitler took one in the neck.  His face turned scarlet red before he dropped to his knees unable to speak. Mussolini had one on his back driving his stinger until the dictator fell to his knees next to Hitler.

“The bees are sent from the souls of the countless victims they executed and murdered.” Virgil explained as Joseph Stalin had a stinger driven into his eye.  

“I cannot watch anymore.” I fell to my knees as Stalin grabbed the screen with his hands in one last attempt to escape from his horrible fate, already missing an eye. 

“This will be our last stop.  You have now witnessed Hell.  Our journey has come to an end.” Virgil smiled as we continued our walk in the woods as if the entire journey into Hell was nothing more than an illusion.

“That’s it?” I looked around me.  The air was clean and the horrible odor had dissipated completely.  

“Do you wish for more?” He turned to look at me.  His face had changed since we started our journey.  It was then I saw the jagged wounds in his hands.  He pulled his head from under the hood he wore as we traveled through Hell. His deep olive sun-darkened skin and eyes that seemed to see clean through to my own soul, I knew why he had taken me through the deep dark woods and back.

“Thank you.” I managed to say as I walked out of the woods.

“Go in peace.” He nodded. 

When I glanced up again, he was gone. 

“Donovan Roetract, why are you still in bed?” My wife asked, “Didn’t the alarm go off?” 

“I didn’t hear it.” I sat up in my own bed far from the deep woods.

“You’d better shake a leg.  You’ve only got about twenty minutes before you have to be at the office, love.” She pulled the blankets down. I got out of bed.

She put my book back on my nightstand.  Briefly she glanced at the cover, “What is this?  The Divine Comedy. Sounds like a rib tickler.” 

It started out as just a little stroll in the woods, but in that stroll, I had seen more than I had ever counted on with a guide who was much more than he said he was, but I wasn’t going to tell anyone, lest they lock me up and throw away the key.  With the images I had seen, I would walk a much straighter path than I had been walking before.  You can take that to the bank for sure.