Grans House

Serena stepped out of the car, the air was thick with the smell of wild garlic, she was home. Everything was exactly how she had remembered it; only older and decayed. Gran wasn’t in a state to get around the property in those last few years, much less maintain it.

This was a mistake. She should focus on her career path. There were no Biochemistry jobs in this small town. Still, she wanted to be there. After cramming every night to complete her PhD in 4 years, all she wanted was to feel close to Gran again.

Serena went into the woods, aside from a few fallen trees, it was exactly how she remembered it. She walked to the berry bush that she and Gran would collect fresh berries from every morning. She plucked a berry and put it in her mouth. It tasted less sweet than she remembered. She supposed that was the effect that time had on memory. You hype something up from your childhood, but you always end up disappointed.

Down the path she saw the bush her Gran had warned her away from. It’s berries look just like the others, but they could kill you. Gran had told her to look for the subtle difference in the bush, though she couldn’t remember at this point what it was. Gran always told her to never go off the path, but of course she did. Because of that she had every inch of those woods mapped out in her brain to this day.

As the sun began to set Serena followed the path back to the house. Sticks crunched under her feet as she walked. Just as she was approaching the berry bushes towards the edge of the forest, she stopped.

In the space between the bushes there was a path. A path she’d never seen before. As she peered down the path a butterfly fluttered past her ear and down the path. It was getting late; she had a long drive. It would be easier to explore the path in the morning, so she walked back to the house.

She sat at her bed, painting her toes with her phone sitting on the bed.

“You know you could afford a nice apartment in the city with the money from that house” her mothers voice rang out from the speaker.

“Mom,” Serena responded.

“Why would you even want to move into that house Serena?” She asked “I’ve never understood your attachment to that house”

“It was where I had all the best memories with Gran” Serena answered

“Well, that house AND Gran are the source of all my worst memories” her mother reminded her.

Serena rolled her eyes.

“Listen I know we talked about Christmas” Serena’s mother started cautiously.

“Mom” Serena groaned.

“I know you said you were going to be busy with the house” her mom continued.

Serena buried her head in her arm.

“But maybe I can come that way?” Mom suggested. “We could meet in the middle, or we could find a Chinese restaurant, you know they’re always open for Christmas”

“Mom you know there’s no Chinese restaurants out here” Serena responded shortly.

“Well then we can…” her mother started.

“Look mom. I called to ask you something.” Serena interrupted “can you stop trying to emotionally manipulate me and just hear what I have to say”

Her mother huffed. “What is it?”

“There’s this new path in the woods” she told her, “I haven’t seen it before, do you know when it got added to the property?”

“I can’t say I know anything about a new path” her mother answered. “So listen, Christmas.”

“Mom I gotta go” Serena hung up the phone.

The next morning Serena went back out to the woods but the path wasn’t there anymore. She paced back and forth, but it was nowhere to be found.

Later that day Serena sits at the dinner table with her friend Jessica.

“I can’t believe you married Margret!” Serena laughed pulling another slice of pizza from the box, “remember the boys used to always call you guys lesbians and we’d all beat them up?”

“Yeah” Jessica laughed, taking a sip of her wine, “they weren’t wrong, but I’m not sorry we beat them up”

“Me either!” Serena agreed, “I wish I could have made it back for the wedding”

“You’ve been caught up with school,” Jessica said, “but I mean damn you got your PhD in 4 years! That had to have been worth it.”

“Yeah I guess,” Serena agreed, “but I missed your wedding, and I didn’t get to be there for Gran in her final years. And I’m so burnt out.”

“So is that why you came back?” Jessica asked.

“I just need a break,” Serena answered, “you know I’m so worn out I imagined a whole path in the woods.”

“What are you talking about?” Jessica asked.

Serena explained to her friend.

“Spooky!” Jessica responded, “Show me!”

Serena shows Jessica to the old path in the woods.

“Here’s the berry bush” Serena said, plucking a berry from the bush and popping it into her mouth.

“I never liked those things as much as you did” Jessica said, “I could never tell which one was which.”

“And there’s the other berry bush” Serena pointed, “and the new path was right here.”

She gestured in the direction the path was going.

“Where’d it lead?” Jessica asked,

“I’m not sure. The tree house maybe.” Serena answered.

“Maybe the ghosts were trying to trick you” Jessica joked.

“Oh come on I was 12” Serena laughed.

Shortly after, they said their goodbyes and Jessica left. Serena went inside and noticed that Jessica had left a hat on the table. She should call her, she thought. She patted her pockets and realized she didn’t have her phone. Did she drop it in the woods?

Serena trekked back out to the forest, the sun had set and the stars were shining. She shined a flashlight at the ground, keeping an eye out for the shiny screen or the phones logo. She passed the berry bush again, she still didn’t find it. She walked a little farther. There it was!

She reached down and grabbed it. She was suddenly aware of an unexpected sight. The path from last night.

“What the…” Serena whispered.

Suddenly a glowing pale blue light streaked past her peripheral vision. It was a butterfly. It fluttered past Serena, lighting its own way as it drifted down the path. Serena followed, the path weaved and bobbed. Before long she looked back and couldn’t see where she had come from.

She could see the path start to veer left, once she took this turn, she should be able to see the broke down school bus. In the dark nothing looked familiar. She approached the turn; the school bus was nowhere in sight. She continued down the path. When she didn’t see the bus, she started to worry.

The sound of an owl hooting broke the silence causing Serena to jump. Serena took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She turned back towards the main trail and picked up the pace. She walked until she was sure she had gone farther towards the house than she had gone away from it to begin with. Had she gotten turned around when she was looking for the bus?

She looked behind her and saw another glowing form. She squinted her eyes. It was a woman, walking away from her along the path. Serena cautiously approached until she realized it was… Gran! She took off at a sprint.

“Gran!” She shouted, “Gran wait!”

Gran continued ahead of her on the path until a tree blocked her from view. Serena sprinted past the tree and stopped abruptly.

She was inside an apartment in town, nothing was familiar. Nothing but the people inhabiting it. They were much younger than she’d ever seen them, but she remembered the photos gran kept in an old shoebox. There was her mother as a young girl, and her grandmother, who must have been in her mid 20s.

“You promised I could go to the sleep over this time mom!” mom said throwing her sleeping bag and backpack on the floor. “Sarah’s mom is here already!”

“That was before I realized what a disaster the kitchen is!” Gran shouted “get in there and clean it up! You aren’t going anywhere until it’s done! Sarah’s mom can wait for you outside!”

“Mom every dish in the house is dirty! It’s gonna take all night!” She shouted.

“Then I guess you better tell Sarah’s mom she can leave then!” gran answered.

“This isn’t fair!” She shouted as she walked out the door and slammed it shut.

Serena knew from her experiences with her own mother that that act of rebellion would result in a serious ass whopping when she came inside. For the first time in her life Serena empathized with her mother. She followed her out the door, but when she exited the apartment, she was back in the woods. She turned around and the room was gone.

The woods around her looked unfamiliar. Was she farther down the path? Or had she turned around and gone the other way? She looked down the path in each direction looking for a clue.

The woods were dark, and thick with fog. She heard running water, and a child giggling in the woods.

“Hello?” She shouted into the darkness.

She saw a child running in the forest, weaving through the trees. It was herself, as a child. Her younger self ran out of sight.

“Wait!” Serena shouted.

She took one step forward.

‘Stay on the path’ her Grans voice echoed in her head.

Serena backed up, onto the trail. She continued down the path towards the sound of water. She found herself in a small clearing, at its center was a pond with a waterfall flowing into it from a cliff. The air filled with glowing butterflies. She heard giggling again.

“Serena!” She shouted.

She spotted her on the top of the cliff right as she jumped off.

“SERENA NOOOOO!” Serena screamed as her younger self plunged into the water.

Her instinct was to jump in after her. But it was like some invisible force was holding her back. The girls head broke the surface, and she laughed.

Serena looked down the path and saw her grandmother in the distance.

“Hey!” She shouted to the ghostly form.

Gran did not respond. Serena sprinted her direction.

“Gran!” She shouted.

No matter how fast she ran she didn’t get any closer. Before long, her Gran disappeared into the distance. Serena continued to sprint until her legs gave under her. She lay on the ground, panting, focusing on the backs of her hands on the forest floor. When she finally had her bearings, she looked around her. The forest was replaced with the towns public pool.

“Cover up!” Gran shouted at Serena’s mom, who was now a pre-teen.

“Mom you bought me this swimsuit!” Mom said.

“Not so you could strut around in it like a floozy!” Gran said

“Grandma!” Serena gasped.

Her mother wrapped a towel around herself and grunted before stomping off to the bathroom. A man walked up to gran.

“Come on Lidia,” he said. “It’s not her fault she’s hot”

Suddenly the scene looked familiar. Gran grunted and then stomped off to the bathroom. Serena remembered the time her mother had called her a whore for wearing shorts in front of the guy her mother was seeing that week.

The pool melted away and Serena was surrounded by forest again. Serena started walking lazily down the path. She was consumed with memories. Life with her mom was hell. She prioritized men over Serena. She treated her like competition. Most people would turn to their mothers in times of need. Serena’s mother was the last person she would turn to. She had even been tossing around the idea of going no contact with her mother.

She couldn’t bring herself to spend the holidays with her. Every year she uses the holidays as an opportunity to take shots at her, to manipulate her, to guilt trip her. And it looked like she came by it honestly.

Gran was always a safe place for Serena. An escape from her mother. She’d complain to Gran about how unfairly she was treated. Gran validated her, she would agree that it was unfair.

“But you should forgive her” Gran would say, “she’s doing her best.”

Serena did forgive her mother, for a while. But she just kept hurting her. Eventually she accepted that her mother would never love her properly. She knew she couldn’t keep taking responsibility for their relationship.

As she walked her path she came to a door. It was the inside of the back door of her house. Serena hollowly pushed the door open and looked through. On the other side was her backyard. The clothesline was pulled out. Mom was a teenager, sitting on the back porch. Serena heard a noise behind her. She jumped to find Gran at the kitchen table, desperately counting coins and dollar bills and writing down figures in her notebook.

Gran cussed, “$20 short”

“Hey mom” Serena’s mom stood in the door frame, “the girls were gonna head down to the Shake Shack, could I have some money?”

“You think you deserve shake shack?” Gran asked, “For what? You already eat me out of house and home?”

“Sorry,” Serena’s mom said, “I’ll tell them I can’t go”

Serena’s mom started to walk back outside to her friends.

“No, you’re not going back outside” Gran said, “get upstairs and clean your room! I swear I’m the only one in this house who fuckin does anything!”

Serena’s mom started crying and ran up the stairs to her room.

“Get back down here and close this fuckin door!” Gran yelled up the stairs.

Serena looked at the back door. The scene outside had transformed into dark wilderness. Serena walked out the door and down the path. She remembered of all the times her mother had treated her like a burden.

Serena hoped that her mother would get the help she needed one day. She deserved healing. If mom got those behaviors from gran, then gran must have gotten them from somewhere.

“That’s true” a familiar voice rang out.

Serena turned around to see her grandmother standing behind her.

“But that’s no excuse” Gran continued.

“Gran!” Serena ran to embrace her.

She felt so real, so solid. And she smelled like cinnamon cookies. Serena cried in her arms.

“Walk with me” Gran said.

Serena nodded and followed her.

“Why did you resent her?” Serena asked.

“I didn’t know I did” Gran answered, “I didn’t have a choice, about being a mom. There weren’t options. I was 16 and the man who got me pregnant left right after he found out. My parents disowned me; my church and school banned me. I didn’t have a job. I didn’t realize I had resented her for it until after I died. I wish I could have figured it out when I was alive. I wish I could tell her I’m sorry”

Serena stopped to hug Gran.

“We’re here” Gran said.

“Where?” Serena asked, looking around.

She was at the edge of the treeline looking at her back yard. She looked around and realized her Gran was gone. The woods looked the same as they ever had. Every inch was familiar to her. She heard her phone ring. The screen said “mom.” She picked up the phone and answered.

“Hey mom” Serena said walking back to the house.

“Hey sweety,” her mom replied. “Did you find out about the trail?”

“Yeah” Serena said, “I… dreamed it.”

Serena walked into the back door and locked it.

“Figures,” her mom said “mom really let that place go to shit in the end. I doubt she hired anyone to do any work on that place. You know one of moms bitchy old friends called me today, wanted to give me shit for not coming to the funeral.”

“Tell her to mind her own business?” Serena told her mom.

Serenas mom laughed.

She giggled, “mom would have hated that”

“I think she would understand” Serena said. I bet she wishes she could have told you she was sorry.”

“Well, that’s…” Serena’s mom seemed speechless for the first time. “Hey look. I feel like I haven’t always been entirely fair to you. Sometimes I feel like I’ve turned into my mother. I’m sorry. I think I resented you for the version of mom you got to grow up with, and that wasn’t fair to you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks mom” Serena said, “that means a lot to me.”

The two sat in silence for a moment.

“Hey mom,” Serena broke the silence, “I wanna sell the house, and I wanna come visit for Christmas.”

“Great!” her mom said, “We’ll get the spare room set up for you!”

That weekend her mom came to help get things set up. Once they were done, they went to enjoy one last fire in the yard. In the forest they collected firewood, Serena stopped to pluck a berry.

“Serena no!” Her mom shouted.

“What?” Serena asked.

“That’s the poisonous bush” her mom answered.

“No that’s the poisonous bush” Serena pointed.

“No see look,” her mom plucked a leaf from each bush and showed them to Serena, “see this leaf is smooth, and this one is jagged. that ones poisonous”

Her mom pointed to the bush Serena had been plucking berries from. Serena plucked a berry from the other bush and put it in her mouth. It was as sweet as she’d remembered.