Wait a Bit.

Submitted into Contest #49 in response to: Write a story that takes place in a waiting room.... view prompt

9 comments

General

Mica walked into the building awkwardly. He had never needed to visit for such a minor reason. He opened the door, letting out a heavy sigh. A peppy looking woman sat at the check-in desk with a smile, wearing a nametag covered in childish stickers.


"Welcome!" she said, "How can I help you today?"

Mica winced, he didn't exactly like people like this. So happy it could make you sick.


"Im here to check in with Dr. Williams." Mica replied.


"Did you make an appointment?" The woman asked, typing on her keyboard.

Mica did his best to put on a smile, trying not to sound pushy or rude.


"Im sorry, it was an emergency, and I didn't have the time to call."

The woman pointed to a door across the room.


"Dont worry about it," she smiled "It may take around thirty minutes before Dr. Williams can check on you though."

Mica nodded


"Last name?" the woman asked


"Fisher."


"All right, you can pay after the visit, in case he gives you any prescriptions, okay?" she said smiling


"Okay. Thank you, Ms...?" he asked.


"Ms. Florence" the woman smiled

Mica walked over to the room and opened the door. Inside were a few green chairs with dark oak coffee tables. At least he could sit down while he waited. He walked over and sat on one chair and tried to get comfortable. He looked down at his arm, noticing the swelling getting worse. He had gotten scratched after falling from an apple tree at the park, trying to get some snacks for the neighborhood kids. He didn't think he would fall that badly, and it surprised him that his arm had swollen so badly. He sighed, he didn't want to have to pay for something so stupid. He waited for a while when a family walked into the room. They sat a few chairs length away from him. A mother (he assumed) with three small children, one looked to be about just a year old, being cradled by the woman. The other two looked about ages 5 and 7. The oldest stared at Micas arm in utter astonishment. He walked over and pulled on Micas sleeve.


"Excuse me, mister?" The boy asked, "Is your arm okay?"

The mother smiled at her kid, and then at Mica.


"Sorry he's a curious kid." she said tiredly.

Mica held his arm out to the boy. The other boy seemed to be interested as well.


"It's no matter," Mica said with a smile, "I just scraped my arm a bit from falling is all."

The two boys stared in awe. The younger one looked at him desperately, eyes wide.


"Does it hurt a lot?" he asked

Mica sighed, he knew the boys must be quite the handful of energy.


"It hurts a little, but ill be fine after the doctor checks it out."

The younger boy turned to his mom, pointing to her ankle. It had a small star print bandage wrapped clumsily onto it.


"Mommys foot got hurt so the doctors going to look at it too."

The oldest smiled widely.


"But we put a bandage on it so she'll be safer!"

The mom chuckled.


"I sure will be a baby." she said, patting the kid's head.

An awkward silence ensued. The office, although nearly empty, seemed so crowded, mica was finding it hard to breathe with all the unnecessary tension. He debated whether to just leave and deal with his injury at home or not, but it felt rude to leave just because of an odd atmosphere. The same woman from the front desk came into the room asking for a Mrs. Harrington a few minutes later, and the family left the room, leaving Mica in the room alone again. He sat in the chair awkwardly. He had forgotten to bring anything with him to keep himself busy. A few minutes later Ms. Florence wandered into the room again with a styrofoam cup, presumably with water in it. She handed it to Mica, apologizing for the wait. He nodded understandingly.


"It's no trouble," he said, "I don't mind waiting"

Ms. Florence smiled and left the room again. Soon after, a speaker started playing music, helping to lift the tension. After a while, his arm flared up with pain again, causing Mica's face to twist in pain. He walked over to a trashcan and poured some water over his arm, which help a to stop the pain. He sat back down, staring at his arm. Did he have an allergic reaction? He looked outside of the room's window to see the family walking back to their car. The mother had a brace on her ankle. One boy was skipping and laughing. At least they were having fun today. Ms. Florence walked into the room again.


"Sorry for the delay Mr. Fisher, Dr. Williams Will be with you soon." she said

Mica sighed, he didn't mind waiting for a bit, but his arm hurt badly.


"No worries, as longs as I can see him at all I don't mind waiting for a while." Mica said trying to smile.


"All right then." the woman said, knowing full blown that he didn't want to wait for long "he will finish with his other patient in around twenty minutes okay?"

Mica nodded, hopeful that the doctor could hurry. The woman left, and Mica was once again left alone in the room. He tapped his foot to the ground on beat to the music. Nobody really enjoys waiting, do they? Blowing the hair from out of his face, Mica turned his head to his arm again. The swelling had subsided because of the water, but the redness had increased. Thank god he didn't break it, or he would have to pay for an even stupider mistake. then the speakers played Help by Pink Guy. this wasn't helping his mood, or the situation, but it was a better beat to tap his feet to none the less. A while later Ms. Florence came back into the room and asked for a Mr. Fisher. Mica laughed and got up from his chair.

It was a nice wait after all, huh?


July 07, 2020 18:41

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9 comments

01:08 Jul 16, 2020

Hi, I was asked to review your story from Reedsy for the Critique Corner. I thought it was nice. You captured well the feeling of something unexpected and unfortunate happening in your day that you then have to see a doctor for. I would have liked to know a little bit more about Micah (descriptors, is he young, old), and the accident that landed him at the doctor's office (why was he at the park). Also, there were a few noticeable typos so I would suggest being more thorough when self editing. Nice job though. Keep it up!

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L Mariscal
00:26 Jul 17, 2020

Thanks! I appreciate the critiques, as I am not very good at editing anyways, I'll keep these tips in mind next time I write! :)

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Elle Clark
18:20 Jul 12, 2020

I really hope that his arm is okay! I always find it a bit weird reading stories where you have to pay for medical treatment but it definitely makes me more grateful for where I live. There are a couple of typos that you’ve missed - if you want me to proofread anything before a deadline to help you catch these, just leave me a message on one of my stories. I enjoyed reading this and am looking forward to reading more of your work!

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L Mariscal
18:29 Jul 12, 2020

Thank you so much!! I'm not the best proof reader so any help with that would always be appreciated! :)

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Batool Hussain
07:17 Jul 12, 2020

Hello! A very good story. It was indeed a nice wait after all;) Now, some feedback. I've seen 'The end' in quite a few stories and I don't think it lets the magic in your otherwise excellent story stay. So, if you may, please take that out! Good job for your first story. Can't wait to read more of your works.

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L Mariscal
18:09 Jul 12, 2020

Thank you so much! I haven't been writing for a long time so feedback is always nice! :)

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Batool Hussain
18:15 Jul 12, 2020

Thanks. Mind checking out my new story and sharing your views on it? Thanks

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L Mariscal
18:42 Jul 07, 2020

I hope you like my story. :)

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Batool Hussain
10:42 Jul 12, 2020

I did!!! Mind checking out my very new story? Thanks

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