Boxed In

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” my friend Becca asked me.

“Well, yeah. I kiss my mom and dad every night before I go to bed.”

“No, I mean like kissing a boy…on the lips.”

My ten-year-old self knew Becca was boy-crazy. We both had a crush on the boy who never came out of his house. We called him mystery boy. We were probably intrigued because we didn’t know anything about him. He was cute, but never outside when everyone else was. What did he do inside all day? Or was he even there?

One time we were at the park next to his backyard which had a staggered privacy fence around it. You couldn’t really tell if he was there or not, but occasionally we played there to try sneaking a glance.  We were sitting at the top of the slide with the hiding place on top. Becca’s bladder was full from guzzling too much Kool-Aid before we headed out this morning. She wanted to head home to relieve herself and I wanted to stay. The cocklebur landmines between the slide and the sidewalk always managed to find their way onto my socks and into my shoes. We hadn’t been playing here for very long and I wanted the risk I took to get here to be worth it.

I decided to try to buy a little time. I joked with Becca and said, “Hey look. Bartholomew is outside in his backyard.”

Everything about how she talked and moved her head changed. She began talking louder and flipping her long hair from side to side. For the life of me, I could not imagine why she would wear her waist-length hair down all the time. My mid-length hair was always in ponytails during these hot Texas summers.

She kept changing her position to try to relieve the pressure on her bladder. I laughed at her squirming, and she said, “Don’t make me laugh. I don’t want to pee my pants.” She nervously giggled and then we were laughing together. She wanted to stay longer now too, but it only lasted about five more minutes. After testing the heat of the slide, she decided to go down the way we came up and descend the ladder. I followed her.

With that memory fresh in my mind, I was wondering if she had devised some nefarious scheme to kiss this mysterious boy of ours. Has she already had conversations with him? I was still rumbling around in my head about how to even be outside at the same time as him, let alone actually talk to him. The three of us played tag together once. I refused to be caught, and I knew she was running slow on purpose. She could run so much faster than me, and we both knew it.

I remembered thinking, what is she doing? Now I’m thinking she knew exactly what she was doing. Boy was I naive.

My thoughts wandered back to the present situation and the words she said. She had been talking about my brother! Of how sweet he was helping her to fix her bike tire, and how he waited for her when everyone else took off biking down the street in our usual pack. Mystery boy never came out to join us when the entire block was outside. We always wondered why.

“I wonder what it feels like to be kissed?” she said.

“What?”

“Come on, aren't you even curious about what it would be like?”

“Honestly, no.”

“But what about Bartholomew Reginald Percival Kingsley the Third?” This was the mystery boy’s name. It was all we really knew about him. To be honest, I thought it was an unusual name. And the way he was so proud of it when he said it made me wonder if it was a blessing or a curse to him.

“I just thought it would be nice to talk to him. Get to know him. Ask him if he even knows how to ride a bike. We know he can’t run very fast,” I said, eyeing her more closely, searching for any clues I might discover on her face about where this conversation was going.

“Really? Aren’t you even just a little bit curious?”

I could feel the parting of the ways approaching as I slowly said, “No.” But I still wanted to be her friend.

“Well, I am and I have an idea.”

“Oh no. What?” I have to admit her ideas were usually bad unless they revolved around food. Becca and Darren were able to get away with eating so much sugar. My parents always had a lockdown on our closely monitored healthy food.

She began to share…and yeah, it was bad.

“I have a brilliant idea! I mean we wouldn’t want to find out we were a bad kisser when we are grown and it mattered and we really liked the boy, right?”

I think, does she have a point? “I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”

“Well, I don’t want to be the only one kissing a boy and I really want to know what it is like. How about you and I kiss each other’s brother. What do you think?”

“What?! Kiss my brother? You want to kiss my brother? Eww…What are you thinking? He drools.”

“I don’t think he does.”

“You haven’t seen him eating across the dinner table. Have you even seen my brother?”

“I don’t care. I think he is so smart with kites and bikes. Besides…”

I interrupted her with, “Does your brother, Darren, drool?”

“No. Besides, I think it would be nice to get to kiss your brother.”

“What?” Gee, I’m starting to sound like a broken record. Is that the only stupid word I know how to say today? How bad do I want to be her friend? How gross would it be to kiss her brother? I know it would be disgusting for her to kiss mine! Ugh. I felt trapped.

Through more coercion and talking, I started to realize she had it all planned out already. How long has she been planning this?

I didn’t want her brother to think I liked him. He was shorter than me, and I’m short. And besides, he was friends with my brother, that was the biggest ding against him.

I liked my brother. Okay, I love my brother, but as far as having any real affection, no thanks. He went his way, and I went mine. We barely crossed paths. In fact if he and Darren were playing at our house, we would play at their house or in the park and vice versa.

But I suppose I can’t hold that against Darren. Like me, I don’t know if I would have chosen Becca to be my best friend, but she is the one who lived in the same cul-de-sac as me, and you know how that goes. The same was true for my brother and Darren. We grow friends where we are planted until we are uprooted again to live somewhere else. Thus is the unspoken tragedy of having a parent in the military.

I could tell she really wanted to do this. But why? At the time, she was my only afterschool friend. We spent all our waking hours together. I never noticed that she was interested in my brother. Then I felt a strange flip in my thoughts. Would my brother be hurt?

“You have to go first,” I heard myself say. “I don’t want to do it and then you be the one changing your mind and not kissing after I did.” I then had visions of Charlie Brown’s Lucy snatching the football away from Charlie Brown at the last second–sending him flying into the air to land on his back with a big thud, again.

“Now, how do I know you won’t back out too?” she retorted.

She knew me too well. I probably would.

She continued talking, “My dad just got a new big chair for the living room and the box hasn’t been thrown away yet. It’s outside under the carport–I know…” she paused for effect. “We could all get inside of it at the same time and we both kiss at the same time.”

“I don’t know.”

“Darren already said he would. You just need to say yes.”

I went to say, “What?” again but no words came out. How long has she been planning this? Why didn’t she talk to me about it first? Wow, she really wants to kiss my brother…but why?

 “I’d have to ask my brother.”

“Oh, he already said yes. Darren already asked him.”

Dang. I was struggling with feeling betrayed for being the last to know.

“So everyone wants to?”

“Everyone, once you say yes.”

I pause, sigh, roll my eyes at her and then force out a “Fine. When?”

She literally jumped with glee, gave me a quick shoulder hug and put a big smile on her face. “Great! We gotta do it soon before the box gets thrown away.”

“How soon?”

“Go get your brother. My brother is with him.”

Oh, that soon. Dang, not much time to be able to think more about it and change my mind. It’s no big deal, right? It’s just a simple kiss I kept telling myself as I dragged my feet slowly back to my house that was only a few doors over.

There they both were working on their upside-down bikes. My brother gave instructions for Darren to learn how to fix his own flat tire while he was watching my brother fix his, again.

I was looking at Darren differently now. Why did you say yes? Are you just doing this for your sister, like I am? My words wouldn’t come out. All I could manage to say is, “Darren, your sister wants to talk to you.” He ran past me without even a glance. I continued to look at my brother. He was staring at me. Like he was waiting for me to say something.

“Well,” he said.

“You want to do this?”

“Yeah, of course. Are you in?”

“I guess I am,” I said feeling very outnumbered.

I went inside to get a drink of water before returning to Becca’s house, hoping my mom will see me and assign a chore of any kind. Nope. No such luck. After I took a big drink, I headed back out the door.

As soon as I stepped out onto our concrete patio, I saw them all congregating around the box laying on its side. Its side flaps opened at an angle, beckoning us in. The top flap acted like a small awning that was a little above tiny Becca’s chest.

Once I was under the carport too, Becca proceeded to explain the rules as if we were about to play a new game. Everyone nodded in agreement about the conditions of how it was to be played out.

We all glanced around to make sure nobody could see us. There wasn’t a person in sight. Becca led the way as she slouched over and entered the box. She sat down in the furthest corner, crossing her legs to make room for everyone else.

My brother entered next and sat opposite of her, looking back out at the two remaining players. Darren crawled in and sat next to his sister as I followed to sit next to my brother. Once positioned, Darren and I pulled the side flaps in causing the temporary awning to close over to hold the flaps in place.

The cardboard box was surprisingly well lit due to the crack between the flaps and the glow from the bright day outside. I wished it was darker. The smell of cardboard warmth permeated my lungs as we all sat there, Darren looking at my brother to avoid eye contact with me while I did the same with Becca. My brother was staring at Becca’s face…or should I say lips.

“Okay, like we agreed…on the count of three, right?” said Becca.

We all nodded our heads in unison.

“Wait,” said Darren. “Are we supposed to close our eyes?”

“If you close your eyes, how are you going to find their lips?” my brother retorted.

“I think we are supposed to close our eyes. We need to get closer together,” replied Becca.

Everyone started to try to scoot their butts closer together without uncrossing their legs. The box started to rock and almost collapsed on us as it was trying to move with us.

“Push with your arms and lift your butt to slide forward,” said Darren. We all took his advice and despite a couple of elbow jabs, we were all finally in better proximity to each other.

Being better positioned now, our faces within inches of each other, all we needed to do was lean forward a little. We looked to the ringleader as Becca said, “Ready…one…two…three.”

I waited to close my eyes until I knew Becca was going to do it. Just as I saw her lean in with eyes closed, I turned to face Darren who I had been avoiding eye contact with this whole time. I close my eyes and before I could lean in, I feel a quick peck on my lips and the flaps are thrown open and he jumps out of the box. Done. That was it?

Maybe kisses aren't as big of a deal as everyone makes them out to be.

I crawled out and stood up. There, across the cul-de-sac, standing in his front yard was mystery boy staring back at me. You have got to be kidding me! Suddenly, the kiss did feel like a big deal.

He had watched Darren crawl out of the box and hop around in circles under the carport like he was riding an imaginary horse screaming, “Woo hoo!”

With the heat of my red face competing with the heat of the Texas sun, I broke eye contact and looked back to watch for Becca and my brother to follow us out of the box, but they were still in the box. The flaps that previously gave us privacy were now a gaping wide mouth. In its opening, Becca and my brother were still kissing!

“Becca!” I couldn’t stop myself from shouting her name.

Only then did they stop kissing–without separating their distance from each other–they both smiled back at me.

Becca giggled and whispered, “Nice.”

My brother then gestured for her to get out of the box first. This simple act of kindness caused my jaw to drop. It was the first time I ever saw my older brother be tender towards someone.

She crawled out of the box, looked me straight in the eye and mouthed, “Thank you.” 

My brother popped out of the box behind her and ran back towards our house. Darren stopped jumping in circles and followed after him.

I looked towards mystery boy again and he was busy looking for bugs. Becca gestured for me to follow her inside, probably to talk about the whole kissing experience. 

Oh, brother… Literally!