Once upon a time in October

Great! Not only did my day start on the wrong note but now there is a black cat sitting in front of me threatening to run across my way as soon as I move from my steps. He’s just sitting there staring with his big greenish eyes, mocking me, daring me. I could almost hear him say

“Just take another step, you loser, and you will see what happens to your day or maybe even the rest of the week.”

I hate October. No, actually I hate the fall. Many people dislike it because it’s gray and yucky with wind and rain giving a chill to your bones. Let’s be honest, all right? It’s just downright depressing. I know some morons who would make a special trip just to see the color changes in the trees or to smell the foliage. Get a grip, people! They are just leaves which, once they touch the ground, become dirt and dust! Would you be equally interested in the sick layer of dust under my bed? No? That’s too bad because I could give you that tour for a much lesser fee than it would cost you to drive five hours to the middle of nowhere, pay for a shitty hotel or B&B, and eat crappy food on the road while you are also getting soaked by the October rain. Everything about fall agitates me and now there is this cat!

I confess, for a split second the animal instincts of my descendants took over and I had a big urge to kick the cat or do something else predatory to it for a chance to take my frustration out on someone but I’m not a cruel man. I’m a product of my upbringing. Don’t curse, don’t talk back, and don’t hurt the animals or anyone smaller or weaker than you. I know all of that, but could I please? Just this once? I looked at the cat defiantly, or at least that’s what I thought, and made the first step. As predicted, the cat immediately arched his back before he zoomed right in front of me across the way and into the bushes. Super! There was no other way around my house so I had no choice but to proceed on the walkway that was stretching in front of me like some damn yellow brick road. Could this day get any worse? Maybe I should just shake it off, forget about the whole morning including the cat and my earlier fight with Eliza and start over. After all, I’m not some ancient superstitious dude! Screw it! I will just go on as if nothing happened and hope for the best. After all, my therapist always tells me to be more positive. Only one question - if I was always so positive and happy, why would I need a therapist, ha? Did he think about it for a second that only because of consistent people like me he even has a job?

I still can’t believe that I’m seeing a shrink. It started a few months ago when Eliza and I decided that we are ready to take our relationship to the next level and move in together. Except in my head, I saw the images of my hot girlfriend, barely dressed, serving me breakfast in bed but instead she turned into someone who would make a wife with twenty years of experience in nagging look like an amateur. I suddenly found myself stopping by grocery stores after work or picking up dry cleaners or vacuuming the apartment when all I wanted was to sit down with a cold bottle of beer and watch some football. It was too rainy for her to go out or she just did her nails or she was really tired… the list went on. And what’s surprising – I did it all and haven’t even batted an eyelash until one day I exploded all over the place. It was the semifinals. It was damn important so I didn’t want to be disturbed. I must have been pretty vocal in my outburst because she looked at me like I was a monster. She left that night but not before she threw in my face that I wasn’t ready for commitment and she couldn’t stand another second to listen to my immature sarcastic comments.

We didn’t speak for a week. It nearly killed me when I had to admit that I was missing her and without Eliza, the apartment seemed too empty. So, I stepped on my throat and apologized. I expected her to fly into my arms with an embrace worthy of someone who just saved the planet. Instead, she listened to me quietly standing in the doorway of her friend’s apartment. As soon as I was done, she looked up, dropping “Paul, you need to prove to me that you are serious about us. Otherwise, I’m not convinced.” With that, she closed the door leaving me standing there looking at the peephole like an idiot. After another week of uncertainty, I gave in and proposed. Eliza accepted but only under the condition that I start seeing a therapist. The things we do when our hormones take over! We’re still fighting from time to time but if there is one thing I learned in my sessions it’s to keep my sarca-jokes to myself when I see that Eliza is not in the mood. Seems to be working better… But by the laws of physics, if I can’t express all my wisdom at home, it ends up spilling out in the most unexpected places.

Determined to stay positive, I walked into the diner by my office to get some well-deserved breakfast. I came here often, so I knew the owner who also doubled as a cook. The diner was small but always smelled of fresh coffee and bacon. My standards are not that high so this place was fine by me. I nodded to the owner confirming my usual order and sat down at the table by the window. It was drizzling outside but I tried not to let myself slip back into the moodiness of this gray day. An aromatic cup appeared in front of me so I took little sips enjoying how the pleasant warmth spread inside. The diner was mostly empty – just me and a few older folks finishing their breakfast at the counter. I glanced back out and suddenly noticed a shadow in front of the window that looked strangely familiar. I leaned in closer to the glass and almost instantly met the greenish eyes of the black cat from this morning. The cat was sitting on the small lip outside the window staring at me unblinking.

It's a coincidence, I thought, feeling how my heart is beating somewhere closer to my throat, it’s a different cat. But the animal’s unusual green eyes with the yellow circles were unmistakable. I finally exhaled and tried to calm down. Yes, it was freaky, but it was just a cat after all. I was about to turn away when the cat nodded towards the door winking at me. I looked in that direction before I had a chance to process what just happened and saw an older man who was standing next to my table.

When did he come in? I was sitting close to the entrance – how could I not see him walk in? I turned back to the window but there was nothing there. I shook my head rubbing my eyes.

“You all right, son?” asked the man in a deep baritone voice with a slight Italian accent.

I blinked at him and nodded uncertainly. He examined me for a moment and suddenly sat down across from me.

“Not used to eating alone, you know. You don’t mind if I join you, son, do you?”

I shook my head, still unable to shake a weird feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

“You look pale, son. More hot coffee?”

I nodded and was about to call out for it but realized that my cup was full. The owner must have filled it while I was staring out the window. I gratefully grabbed at my cup hoping that a hot drink will help me shake off the chill that was running up and down my spine.

“Are you here from out of town?” I braved to ask my unexpected breakfast companion.

“In a way,” he smirked and his eyes playfully sparkled from under his thick eyebrows. I noticed there was something familiar about him but couldn’t quite pinpoint it. His next question spooked me even more. “So how are things going with Eliza, Paul?”

“What? How...?”

“Relax,” there was that smirk again. “I know all about you. Wanted to meet you for a long time. I’m Eliza’s father.”

I blinked again. Eliza never talked about her parents and now I wondered why I have never asked her. How did he know I will be here – was he stalking me?

“Were you waiting here for me?”

“I was hoping to catch you at your office but this is better. We need to chat.”

“Eliza… she hasn’t mentioned you. So, I’m not sure I should…”

“Yeah, sounds about right. We haven’t talked in a long time. She was mad at me. Ever since her mother passed away, Eliza hasn’t said a word to me. Never came to visit.”

“And you want me to talk to her for you?”

“No. I wanted to talk to you. You want to marry her, yes?”

I nodded feeling stupid. Is he going to ask me why I didn’t ask for his permission or something?

“Paul, she’s my only family, my blood. You need to take care of her. You need to grow the fuck up and start acting like a man and not a spoiled unruly teenager, do we understand each other?”

“Are you serious?” I couldn’t help it. The whole scene felt like it was pulled from a bad mafia movie. “What’s next? You are going to tell me that you have a gun stashed in the bathroom and make me an offer I can’t refuse?”

He smirked. “Funny. But that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop jerking around and act your age. Didn’t you just turn thirty-two?”

“You know my birthmarks and the time of birth too?” I really couldn’t stop myself.

He leaned forward and suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. At close range, his eyes were big and dark. He seemed to be looking right into my soul and reading every thought. I instantly understood why he looked familiar – his gestures and mimics resembled Eliza’s when she was irritated.

“I know everything about you, Paul. When you were born, where you went to school. I know that you were picked on as a kid and started using sarcasm as a defense mechanism in sixth grade.”

“You spoke to my therapist!”

“Don’t be stupid – you know, he wouldn’t tell me anything so you can just chill. I can tell you things you never mentioned to anyone. For example, you are afraid that Eliza will find out about the stack of dirty magazines you are keeping stashed in the bedroom closet. Paul, at your age? Really?”

“Those are collectibles!” I felt my face burning.

“Sure, they are!” he examined me for a few minutes before he continued in a softer tone. “Paul, it’s time son. You need to let go of whatever it is that’s bothering you. Forget all your insecurities and face the music. Eliza is the best girl in the world if you want my opinion, but she’s hard-headed. Just like me. If you don’t listen to me and show her that you can be a man in a true sense, you are going to lose her, understand?”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

“How do you know about me?”

“I have my sources.” He leaned back. “Aren’t you late for work?”

I sighed before I pulled out the $10 bill and left it on the table. I followed him outside, strangely feeling like a little kid again. The weather was worsening so the cold wind and rain immediately got a hold of me but I didn’t care.

“It was nice to meet you, son,” he said with a sad smile. “Can you do me a favor?”

“I will try.”

“If you have an opportunity, tell Eliza that her mom was driving.”

I wasn’t sure I understood what he said but at that moment big lighting cut the sky in half with a loud thunder blowing up above us. I unconsciously covered my head and when I looked again, Eliza’s father was gone.

Trying not to dwell on this strange encounter too much, I decided to discuss it with Eliza in the evening but ended up working late and by the time I got home, she was already sleeping. I was also exhausted from the events of the day and the rain so I was happy to curl up next to her in the warm bed before I fell into a deep sleep.

In the morning, Eliza was in a much better mood than the day before. She made us breakfast and we sat down at our small table for two.

“This is a very nice breakfast, babe!” I smiled at her.

She smiled back but looked at me curiously.

“Are you feeling ok, Paul?”

“I feel great, why?”

“Because you never compliment me!”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is, what’s up?”

I put my fork down.

“Well, I wanted to tell you about something that happened yesterday. It’s a bit weird but I think you should know.”

Her eyes immediately went from smiling to concerned and she tilted her head forward just like her father did.

“What happened? Did you get hurt?”

“No, but I had a surprise visitor on the way to work.”

“Who?”

“Your father.” I was watching her expecting an exclamation or a huff but her reaction surpassed even my wildest expectations. Eliza stood up with her hand on her chest and tears in her eyes.

“How … How could you? Paul, this is crossing all the lines! How dare you!”

With that, she threw her napkin at me and ran into the bathroom. I followed her. If she was mad that I talked to him, why was she crying? Or maybe she was really missing her dad and regretted not talking to him?

“Eliza, honey, please talk to me. I’m sorry but I don’t understand…”

She swung the door open looking angrily at me.

“Who gave you this idea? To torture me like this? It’s too cruel even for you!”

Feeling like the situation was about to get away from me I grabbed her hand and pleaded.

“I swear I don’t understand what you mean! I stopped by the diner to grab a cup of coffee. He came in and said he wanted to talk to me about being more serious and making you happy. He said I need to grow up and be there for you. He told me you two had a falling out after something happened with your mom but that’s all I know, I swear!”

She searched my eyes for a moment before she pulled her hand out of mine.

“Paul, my father died five years ago.”

I stopped breathing, hearing, feeling. That couldn’t be. I wasn’t crazy!

“What happened to your mother?” I finally squeezed out.

“What does it matter?” she was still sobbing.

“Trust me, it matters!”

“They were coming from dinner and ended up in a car crash. Mom was killed instantly. My dad died a month later. I could never forgive him for that because people at the restaurant said he was drinking.”

The fog around me started to thin out. I remembered the last thing Eliza’s father told me.

“Eliza, I don’t know how it’s possible, are you sure he died?”

“Am I…? Yes, I’m sure! Paul, that’s enough!

“Eliza! Please, please listen to me! I’m not making this up and not trying to prank you! I don’t know what is happening but it’s scaring the life out of me! There is one more thing he asked me to tell you.” I hesitated, not sure how she would respond this time.

“What was it?” her nostrils flared.

 “He said your mom was driving.”

Eliza flapped down on the nearby stool shaking her head in disbelief.

“Babe!” I knew how all of this sounded but I had to try to convince her. “I have never seen a picture of your dad but I can describe him! He’s shorter than me with thick eyebrows and dark eyes. He was wearing boots and a brown leather jacket!”

Eliza stared at me. “Paul, I don’t understand. How can you know that – that’s what he was wearing the night of the accident.”

“Honey, we can go down to the diner and they will confirm it for you! There were just a few people there, they would have seen him sitting with me!”

I practically dragged her outside determined to prove that I wasn’t losing my marbles. We strolled into the restaurant. I came up to the counter that seemed to be much busier this morning. The owner smiled at me.

“The usual?”

“Not today, I have a question for you. Did you see the guy that was sitting with me yesterday morning?”

The owner blinked at me and came up closer.

“What do you mean?”

I repeated my question but he continued to look helplessly from Eliza and back as if he was afraid to offend me. Finally, he spoke up.

“Paul, we had a gas leak yesterday so the diner was closed all day.”

I don’t remember how we walked outside but I took a few steps before everything flipped upside down and I fainted. For the first time in my life. Yep, I really hate October…