The Decision

      “I’m having a baby!” said the mother offering her hands to Kaylin who walked in after school. When she heard her mother, the fourteen-year-old bent slightly forward and grabbed her mother’s hands.

           “We are?!” said Kaylin. “I’ll have a baby brother or sister like I always wanted!”

           The two danced around together on the living room floor, their long hair swaying side to side.

           “Your father is in his home office. Let’s tell him,” said Kaylin’s mother.

           In the small home office, the pair did not have room to dance, but they could sing their excitement in sing-song.

           “We’re going to have a baby, we’re going to have a baby,”  

           “I’m pregnant,” said Emma, the mother, trying to contain her enthusiasm.

           Alan, the father, jumped up from his chair and rushed to Emma, heaved her into the air, then gave her hugs and kisses when back on the floor.

           He turned to Kaylin. Holding her by the shoulders, he asked her, “How jealous will you be?”

           Kaylin could hardly stop bouncing to speak. “I always wanted a brother or sister.”

A week later, Emma was absently mindedly wiped the same spot on the kitchen table. She no longer smiled.

           After school, Kaylin headed to the kitchen for her usual cookie.

           “I’m surprised the kids at school weren’t excited at the thought of a baby like I am.” Kaylin pulled a cookie out of the cookie jar. “Some said I wouldn’t get any attention anymore. Some said I’d never sleep again for the crying.” She poured some orange juice. “I don’t believe it. I will love the baby as if it were my own.”

           Kaylin’s mother stopped her wiping and continued to not smile.

           “Kaylin,” she said, “I’m forty-one-years-old. I have an increased risk of problems with the baby or me.”

           Kaylin momentarily stopped eating her second cookie. “That will never happen.” Confidently she said, “You are healthy.” She finished eating.

           Her mother rolled her eyes, but Kaylin did not see it.

           “I’ll be given permanent leave,” said the mother, “when I am six months along. They say I will take too many days off.”

           “That’s terrible!” said Kaylin. “They can’t do that! It’s against the law . . . isn’t it?

           The response was a weak smile. “I don’t think so.”

           “Then sue them.”

           The mother snorted. “That would take all the money I earn.”

           Kaylin walked to Mom and held her arms out to give a hug.

           The mother gladly accepted the embrace. She finally smiled and rested her face on Kaylin’s head.

           The father came in, saw the embrace and asked for a hug.

           The teenage girl obliged.

           While Kaylin’s head was turned, Emma shook a “no” answer to the question on Alan’s face.

           “Let’s go shopping,” said Kaylin’s father.

           “For baby clothes?” Kaylin bounced.

           He rolled his eyes, and Kaylin saw it.

           “Okay then. No baby clothes.”

           The father scrambled for answers. “Groceries. We can shop for groceries.”

           “Good. We can get baby food.”

           The father momentarily closed his eyes and then opened them before saying, “Let’s go. Kaylin.”

           Another week later, Emma and Alan discussed the living room about the baby. They were so intent on their statements, they did not hear Kaylin come in.

           “I really don’t want to,” said Emma.

           “Do I have to remind you of what is best for Kaylin and us? It will be rough without your income,” said Alan.

           “Kaylin’s college fund —”

           “No. We won’t dip into that. An abortion will prevent money problems.

           “No!” said Kaylin who tilted her head forward for emphasis. “You can’t abort my brother or sister!”

           “Kaylin,” said her father. “Your mother is at an age when the baby might be born mentally challenged.”

           “So, if a baby is retarded, we should kill it?”

           “Mentally challenged, dear. Don’t say ‘retarded’,” said Kaylin’s mother.

           “Oh, so now you care about what it is called, but you don’t care enough to keep it alive.”

           “And it is your mother’s health,” added Kaylin’s father.

           “Oh. So the doctors won’t be able to do anything? Give me a break.”

           “You don’t understand. Clothes and food. Babysitter. Maybe use your college fund. I read it cost over $200,000 to raise a child to eighteen. We can’t afford the baby without your mother’s income.”

           “I’ll skip my allowance and do the babysitting,” offered Kaylin.

           “No,” said her mother.

           Kaylin threw her as if casting something away. “So am I a number like the baby.”  She lifted an accusing finger at them.  “I want to know. How much am I worth? Have I reached the $200,000 mark yet?”

           Her father pulled down her pointing hand. “That’s not the question. You don’t understand. It has to be done. And done now. It is best for all of us.”

           “You’re right. I don’t understand. But I do understand you betrayed me.”

           Mother tried to approach her to comfort her.

           “NO!” said Kaylin. “I’m going to Rachel. She’ll understand.”

           Alan took Emma’s arm to restrain her. “Kaylin’s friend lives next door. Let her go. And get it out of her system.” A tearful wife and a deflated father embraced.

Rachel opened the door and gasped at the sight of Kaylin’s red nose, red eyes, and tears streaming down her face.

“Come in. Come in.” Rachel hurried to retrieve a tissue for Kaylin. “What’s wrong?”

“My parents are going to get an abortion.” Kaylin started to sob.

           “Mom,” called Rachel while the two climbed the stairs. “I’m taking Kaylin to my room.”

           “Okay,” said Ms. Fedora, the friend’s mother.

           Kaylin reviewed the scene with her parents and the decision for an abortion. Rachel gave a comforting hug that the teenager’s own mother had not been allowed to give.

           Kaylin stopped crying and blew her nose. Kaylin and Rachel sat on the bed.

           Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times trying to decide what to say. She took a deep breath and blurted out, “My mother had an abortion.”

           Momentarily shocked, Kaylin asked “When?”

           “When I was two years old. Mom told me last year when she knew I wanted to date. She told me about it and said she would never pay for killing a baby. The operation left her unable to have any more children. That’s why I don’t have any brothers or sisters. That’s why I was so excited for your chance to have one.”

           “Wow,” said Kaylin softly.

           “That’s why I agree with you. I want children. …Would you like to have my Mom talk to yours?”

           “I’m not sure she would listen … I want to hear what you Mom says first.”

           Back on the main floor, they found Rachel’s mother peeling potatoes for supper. The girls explained the situation to her. She set down her potato and invited them to the living room.

           “I thought the same way your parents did,” Ms. Fedora began. “My husband accused me of cheating and left. I was a single mother with a small child. I thought of the money.” Rachel’s mother bit her lower lip, trying not to cry. “It’s the worst decision I ever made.”

           Tears started down her cheek, slowly at first then faster as she continued.

           “I felt convicted. I had no peace. So, I went to a preacher to talk about it.

           “The preacher started by talking about Jesus. How Jesus lived as a human on the earth.”

           Mrs. Fedora made sure she had Kaylin’s attention. “I believe He had problems with some family members like we do.”

           The weeping woman took a deep breath. “The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’” She tried to hold back tears, but she blubbered.  “I killed my baby. No first steps, No first words. No birthday parties.” She shook her head to shake off the lack of memories.

           “I don’t know if I will ever get over the grieving process. The memories will still be regrets.”

           The girls were silent while Rachel’s mother took a minute to compose herself.

           “The preacher said Jesus never sinned, so he is the Mediator between a perfect God and imperfect humans.”

Mrs. Fedora blew her nose and sniffled.

“The preacher explained that to have peace, I needed to admit I sinned, ask forgiveness, and believe what the Bible says about Jesus.

 “He was right. I have peace.” She swallowed hard. “But the memories are still regrets.”

           “Mrs. Fedora, will you tell my parents what it is like to have an abortion and how you feel now?” asked Kaylin.

           “No. They will have to ask me. Some people, like me, have to go through things the hard way. Let me pray for you and your parents.”

           Mrs. Fedora clasped her hands together while Kaylin and Rachel simply bowed their heads.

           “I praise you Father, for the baby’s life and Your plans for it. I praise You that Kaylin wants the baby. Father, Kaylin’s family is between a rock and a hard place. You are the One in control. Lord, I know you can change the parents’ hearts as easily as You can change the course of a river. We ask you to change their hearts to be against having an abortion. Glorify yourself in the whole process. Thank You. In Jesus name Amen.”

           “What should I do now?” asked Kaylin.

           “You can ask your mother to speak to me. Other than that, You will have to forgive them and wait.”

           Two weeks later, Kaylin heard crying when she entered the house after school. She followed the sound to the kitchen where she found her father trying to comfort her mother who was crying with elbows on the table and hands covering her face.

           Kaylin did not get a cookie. Her father stood on one side of the mother, so Kaylin went to the opposite side to put a hand on her mother’s back.

           “What’s wrong?” said Kaylin.

           “I talked to Rachel’s mother. She told me her regrets from the abortion. For your sake, we had an amniocentesis done.” Tears fell harder and faster. “There are no problems with me or the baby. We would have killed a healthy son. We are not having the abortion!”

           Kaylin turned to face her Father. “Is that right?”

           Her father closed his eyes and nodded in assent.

           Almost in tears too, Kaylin said, “I want to hug you both.”

           Kaylin’s mother stood up and all three gave each other hugs.

           Kaylin looked up and whispered, “Thank You, God.”