Forgetting You

"Have you seen him? Oh he's absolutely gorg, I can't even. I literally can't". Sima wondered who Kendy was talking about. She was one of the most boy crazy people she knew. Every week she'd tell her about the hottest guy in school, as if they didn't go to the same school and generally did everything together. Arguably, Kendy was more popular that Sima, due to her general cheerful disposition and confidence. Sima loved that about her best friend. She could always make her feel better. They'd been inseparable since primary when Sima and her family first moved to Pineford at age 8. Kendy kept Sima smiling and fun, like any 16-year-old should be. And Sima kept Kendy focused on school and made sure she always remembered homework, assignments and tests.

"So, who is the new" hot" guy this week?", she asked, kind of interested. It had been an uneventful couple of weeks and she felt like she was going through the motions. School, cello lessons, home. School, cello lessons, home. On weekends she'd switch it up by spending time with Kendy but now that she was dating Darius, they didn't spend that much time together and mostly talked during school hours. Darius and Kendy were a lovely couple and even invited her out on their outings. But she didn't want to be the third wheel, they were really into each other and she wanted them to have more time alone to explore their feelings for each other. "Well, he's name is Rory, he transfered here Monday. He's clearly been keeping a low profile because I only found out about him today. Darius told me he joined the rugby team and apparently he's very good. You should see him Sima, he's tall, dark and has gorgeous light green eyes and perfect hair. I tell you, if I was single". Sima laughed. "If you were single what? You're obsessed with Darius". "I sure am" she said laughing.

The bell rang and they made their way to class. Physics was Sima's favourite subject and Kendy didn't take it. She made her way to her desk and took her books out. Only 8 people took the class, which left plenty of space around the classroom. This is why Sima was surprised when a figure sat next to her. "Hey", the figure with a deep voice said. She raised her eyes to meet the stranger's eyes. He was the most handsome boy she'd ever seen. So much so that she couldn't utter a simple "hello". She opted for a simple nod. Class started and Mr Rivers began speaking. Introducing the mystery man as Rory, the new transfer student. Damn, Kendy wasn't exaggerating.

After class he leaned over to her and said "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable by sitting next to you. I thought there'd be more people in this class. But now that I think about it, it is advanced Physics. So…", he trailed off. "No problem, I kind of liked the company", she quickly shut her mouth after uttering those words. She felt so embarrassed. "I'm glad", he said with a wide smile. The rest of her classes seemed never-ending. She wanted to tell Kendy everything. This was the first time she had any sort of feelings for anyone. All her crushes were fictional. Matty McKibben from Awkward. Danny Castellano from The Mindy Project. Megamind from Megamind.

I think I like a boy. That new boy. He sat next to me in Physics and my head is spinning. She texted Kendy in English class. You are skipping cello today and we r going to Rizzo's to gab about this momentous occasion, Kendy texted back. And that's what they did. Kendy was so excited, you'd swear this was her crush. "I honestly thought you were aromantic, this is everything". By the following week, Kendy had arranged for her, Kendy, Darius and Rory to sit together at lunch and organised weekend activities for the four of them. From then on, Sima spent most of her weekends with Rory. They began dating and she was so in love with him. He was such a caring guy. He remembered all her favourite things and always left cute notes for her in her locker or gave her little kisses in the hallway. She felt so close to him. On his birthday, she curated a special road trip playlist. They were driving 30 km outside town to Lint City. Rory was really into studying flowers and Sima had found a floriculture market in the city. They'd have lunch at the market cafe and spend all day looking at the flowers. When they were close to the market, she blindfolded him. When he saw what his surprise was, tears dropped from his eyes. He hugged her tightly, swinging her around. "Baby I love this. Thank you so much."

The rest of the day was magical. Walking through the flowers, him educating her on his favourites. She loved seeing the glow in his eyes when he spoke about flowers. For a rugby guy, he was smart and a big softie at heart. It was getting late and as they made their way to the car, rain started pouring down heavy. So much so that they decided to spend the night at the Ivory Rose Hotel. It was really fancy, but Sima could afford it, well, her dad could. He had a lot of loyalty points. They booked a room, ordered room service and spent the evening having dinner in front of the big window of their room with an incredible view of the city. "Best birthday ever", he said as he kissed her.

As they made their way to bed later that night, he assured her they didn't have to do anything. "I'm ready Rory". They made love that night. She never thought she could feel more connected to someone. He was slow and gentle with her, checking in on her at every point. She felt special.

Months passed and her and Rory were practically inseparable. One day after school, Darius invited them over to his place for dinner, she had to decline. She hadn't been feeling well all day. "Are you okay?", Kendy asked, concerned. "I'll be fine. I just have this terrible tummy ache. I called my mom to pick me up". Her mom came to pick her up around 3rd period. Went home, mom bought me something to ease the tummy ache. I'll sleep it off. Have fun at dinner. ILY. She texted Rory when she got home and tried to fall asleep. The cramping wouldn't let up, so she took painkillers and waited for them to kick in. It took almost an hour but the pain started to subside. She drifted off to sleep peacefully.

Deep in her sleep, she dreamt she was swimming. Floating in a river. And then from the distance, she could hear screaming. She didn't stop swimming. But the screaming didn't either. She was harshly woken up by a hard shake. When she looked up, it was her father and he had terror in his eyes. "Dad, what's going on?", she said sleepily, trying to sit up. She found that she didn't have the energy. She felt completely drained. Her mother was standing beside her just screaming. She felt wet and when she looked down, she was completely covered in blood from the waist down. She passed out.

"Shit", Sima said under her breathe. It was almost 8pm she was so late for Ezi's birthday party. The 4-year-old wanted a sleepover party with her two best friends, her parents and her godmother. She was excited to see her best friend. After college, Sima and Kendy had found work in different cities. Kendy reunited with her high school sweetheart, Darius and got married later that year. It was a beautiful ceremony. Sima moved to Lint City when she got an opportunity to be lead curator at Reyes Gallery, the most prestigious art gallery in the city. Kendy and Darius had recently moved to the city a few months back when Darius made partner at Pesto and Pearson's. Being reunited with her best friend was amazing. She changed in her car into a rainbow onesie and got to the party an hour late.

"Auntie, you're late", Ezi said pouting. "Mommy said I could look at my present when you got here". Sima was relieved she had the dollhouse delivered to the house the day before, fully assembled. Ezi dragged Sima upstairs to the "present" room. "Open Auntie", she begged. Sima opened the door and the 4-year-old screamed when she saw the doll house. "Thank you Auntie, I love it", she said jumping up and down. "I love the big teddy too", she said pointing at the large bear at the corner of the room. "No honey, that's from Uncle", said Kendy peering through the door. "Uncle?", Sima asked raising an eyebrow. Just then, Darius called out, "Babe, we have company". They all went downstairs and Ezi re-joined her friends. As Kendy and Sima walked to the lounge, Sima stopped dead on her tracks. There he was. Somehow he seemed taller, his eyes a bit more intense and he was more handsome than ever. He looked surprised to see her too. It had been 12 years since they'd seen each other.

"Sima", her whole body shivered

"Rory", she couldn't believe she was saying his name

"Hey, I know this is a huge surprise for you two, but Rory opened his shop here in the city just two days ago", Darius explained.

"This is why I wanted you to get here early so I could warn you", Kendy said, whispering in her ear.

"Well this sure is a surprise", Sima said.

"Yeah", Rory said looking down.

Sima woke up in hospital. "Hey honey", her mom came to her side. "It's morning. You scared us there. I can't believe I almost lost you. The doctor said you lost so much bloo-", her mom began to cry. Sima felt weak and groggy. "I'm sorry. Honey, I have to tell you something. You had a miscarriage and started haemorrhaging in your sleep. You lost an incredible amount of blood. They're going to keep you here for the weekend okay?". Sima couldn't fully process what her mother was saying, she passed out again.

When Sima went to school that week, she didn't feel like talking to anyone. Kendy had spent every night at the hospital to her, lying to Darius about being at her aunt's place. "You have to promise you'll never tell anyone. Even Darius". "I promise".

"Hey", Rory came running up to her. "Where have you been? I've been over to your house. Your parents wouldn't let me see you. You haven't been answering my calls or texting me back. What's going on? Did I do something wrong? Sima, talk to me". She couldn't bring herself to look at him. She felt deep shame and guilt. She walked right by him. "Hey, Sima. Wait.", he yelled after her but she didn't turn back. She stopped completely talking to him. She didn't engage with him in Physics or during lunch. He called and texted her constantly, until she changed her number. After that, he got the message. He stopped trying to get her attention. It broke her heart. But she couldn't allow herself get close to him again. She had to let him go. It was a tough two years. After graduation, he went to college overseas and through the years, Sima kind of stopped thinking about him.

The rest of the sleepover was fun. At 11 pm, they successfully put the girls to bed and had wine by the fire. Sima was surprised at how seamlessly the night was going. "Sorry again for being late. I was finalizing things for the exhibition. It's officially done. I can't wait for next week. You're all welcome by the way. There'll be really expensive wine and snooty people. So you know, fun", the group laughed. "Okay, I'm exhausted. We're calling it. Goodnight guys", Kendy and Darius went to bed. "So, art huh? You were always good at that", Rory said. "Thank you. I'm just glad I got to make a career out of it", Sima replied. "So, what about you? You have a shop?" "Yeah, I have 3 to be exact. One in Rome, one in London and now here. I just thought it was a good time to come home. I missed my parents."

"Same, I hated being far from them. When I got the opportunity for the job at the gallery, I didn't have to think twice".

"I'm happy to see you".

"Me too".

"I've never stopped thinking about you"

"Rory, please don't", she was starting to cry.

"Why did you stop talking to me like that what did I do to you?"

She got up, "I can't right now", and went to the guest room and cried herself to sleep. All those feelings from that terrible night came back. Maybe she wasn't ready to see him. Maybe it was too soon. 12 years too soon.

She woke up early before everyone and went home. She had to forget about Rory. For a moment, she thought they could be at least friend, she knew now that was not possible. The next week leading up to the exhibition was hectic but she was excited. The theme was loneliness. Something she knew all too well about. Friday came and everyone was there, she was pleased with herself. Kendy and Darius showed up early, "We are here for the wine and some fine ass art", Darius said. "Are you drunk?", Sima asked smiling. "Kinda. We took shots at the restaurant next door. We're so happy. Ezi is at a sleepover. We're going wild tonight", Kendy said. "Well, drink as much as you want and have fun".

The night was dying down. All but 3 pieces have been sold. The night was a success. She was having wine with Darius and Kendy who were very drunk at this point. They were totally entertaining to her. "I see you all are having fun" Rory said joining the group. "Rory's here", both Kendy and Darius yelled and started to chant his name. "Okay, it's time for you guys to go home. My driver is outside. Go, you're wasted". "Sima tonight was magical, I love you, love wine, love Rory, love art and mostly I love you", Kendy said kissing Darius as they headed for the door. "Sorry I'm late, I honestly didn't know if you wanted me to come so I just kind of procrastinated around the shop and then I got the balls and I came. That's my truth", he said staring down nervously. "Thank you for coming", she said, meaning it.

She walked around the gallery and showed him around, and the three pieces left. "I'll buy them", he said. "Rory, you don't have to. Tonight was successful enough. I'm happy with the outcome. You don't have to do that", she said contesting. "I want to", he said looking right at her. She quickly looked away. By the end of the night, they'd been the only ones left in the gallery.

"I'm not leaving here until you tell me why you stopped talking to me. I'm not, I'm sorry. Seeing you brought up feelings I thought I'd forgotten and it made me realize that I don't want the buried anymore. Just tell me the truth Sima. I can take it". She sighed "Rory, I had a miscarriage. I didn't even know I was pregnant. That day I had a tummy ache, I was having a miscarriage. I lost a lot of blood. When I saw you at school I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Ignoring you was easier. I know it was a dick move, I know but I felt so guilty for almost ruining your life with a baby you hadn't planned for. It was my fault. I was the one who wanted to have sex and I was the one who was irresponsible. I didn't want you to look at me differently and I just felt so much shame. So much shame. I'm so sorry Rory. I can totally understand if you never want to talk to me again. I'm so sorry". She was in complete tears. He stood there and held her. That made her cry even more. "You should've told me. It wasn't your fault. I would have never looked at you differently. I was in love with you. I've always have been. I never stopped. I'm sorry you went through that alone. I'm sorry". She looked up at him, "you never stopped?" "never", he said grabbing her close and kissing her deeply. She felt 16 again. "I've missed you".