The Disappearance of Tony Ross

Although the early hours of the morning still carried a chill that could only be forgotten with a cup of warm cocoa and the smouldering of a fireplace, beads of sweat still gathered on my forehead, threatening to escape down my frozen cheeks. I wiped away at the sweat, hoping my discomfort was only obvious to me. I hated feeling vulnerable, and this day was one I had been dreading for a very long time.

The solid oak doors to the downtown office were massive, so much so I was unsure I would be able to push it open with my small frame. I took a deep breath, and when I exhaled a tiny cloud of fog appeared, making me even more aware of the cold winter air. A shiver ran up my spine and I was unsure if it was the cold, my nerves, or a mixture of both. I was more than an hour early, so I thought better of going inside just yet.

I began to look around the deserted cobblestone streets, noticing that on the other side of the street was just one lonely bench, without even the comfort of a streetlamp beside it and I was grateful for the sun appearing on the horizon. It was the perfect spot for me to rest.

I strode across the street and sat on the bench, more fog escaping my mouth as I let out a sigh of relief. My feet were sore from walking all the way here but when I awoke this morning, I was afraid that had I waited for the buses to begin running I would have surely stopped myself from doing this. I knew in this moment that I had made the proper choice, as my feet were too sore to turn around now, and the next bus stop was more than six blocks away. I would not be going back home now. It was much to late for that.

As I sat myself down on the bench, I studied the oak doors. They were around eight feet high, and had I been doing anything but what I was about to do, I would have chuckled at the lavish doors, wondering what sort of giant these could have possibly been made for. But today was not that kind of day. Unlike a loved one’s birthday, or the anniversary date of a happily married couple, each year when this date came up on the calendar, it would bring nothing but pain and misery.

To my dismay, the hour had passed much to quickly, and when I checked my watch it was now 7:55 AM. The sun had fully risen now and with it so had the temperature. I knew that soon the streets would begin to buzz with people on their way to work, and children on their way to school.

For as long as I remembered I had always loved the sound of downtown in the early morning. The faint sound of birds chirping, and neighbors shouting hello to each other at they collected their morning paper sounded in my ears like a sweet melody. I smiled but it was half hearted because I knew all hell was about to break loose, and in the middle of it would be me.

Turning towards the massive oak doors, I took one more deep breath, placed my hands on them and pushed…

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Much to my surprise the doors swung open with ease, not nearly as heavy as their size made them look. When I stepped into the office, I was met with the pleasant smell of coffee and baked goods. I let the door swing shut behind me and walked up to the desk where a stout lady with black hair sat. She was looking down at some paperwork, and I noticed her blue uniform and the glass surrounding her, only a tiny space to slide paper through at the bottom and a silver intercom to be able to hear each other on opposite sides of the glass.

The hour I had spent outside had stopped my nervous sweating, but I quickly felt my palms becoming clammy again, so I rubbed them on my pants. I swallowed hard, trying to muster so much as a hello, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I cleared my throat, preparing to try again and with that I had finally drawn some attention to myself, as the lady quickly looked up to meet my eyes. She gave me a soft smile, and pulled her glasses down, a string around her neck holding them in place like a necklace.

“Can I help you Dear?” She asked while shifting her weight in the chair and placing her paperwork in a wire basket. I tried to speak again but a small strange sound came out instead. I wanted to turn and run away screaming, but a flashback of this day kept me firmly planted in place, so I cleared my throat one more time, and finally I spoke.

“Uhm, yes I’m here to see Chief Gordan. May I speak to him?”

The lady looked at me again, but this time she spent more time looking at my features, and it took only moments for her to recognize that just like the chief my hair was a rich shade of gold, and my eyes a forest green. The lady looked back up cracking an even larger smile.

“You must be Julie!” I nodded, and even though I was full of nerves I even smiled a little. The woman seemed very kind, and it was impossible not to be courteous towards her.  

“Oh, he will be so excited to see you. My name is Pamela, and I run the office around here. The new chief speaks more about you than he spends time working.” She yammered on as she turned towards her keyboard, sliding her glasses back on and beginning to type. “I’m just going to send him an email, he’s a little busy right now dear, but please make yourself comfortable, and help yourself to some pastries, you look like you need to eat!”

Directly to my right there was a large table with a pot of coffee and several different types of pastries, explaining the heavenly smell when I had walked inside. Directly across from her desk the wall was lined with chairs. They appeared to be from a different era, but they looked comfortable enough.

Despite the circumstances, I smiled again, thinking how I must look so small to this heavy-set lady. In the past, I had been called too skinny, too fragile and many other things, but I knew this woman meant no harm, and that this was just her way. She reminded me of my late grandmother who had spent many summer vacations trying to “fatten me up,” and there was something very comforting about it, so I picked up a pastry despite the awful feeling in my stomach.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, adding one sugar and two small servings of cream and stirred. I had no real interest in eating, but I then remembered that I had skipped breakfast this morning, and I thought maybe this will help me settle my stomach while I wait. I took a bite of the pastry and the strawberry jelly filling exploded in my mouth. The pastry was fresh, and I assumed they had come from the quaint bakery I had seen just around the corner on my walk over.

By this time, Pamela has turned herself back towards her paperwork, put she kept looking up at me as if to make sure I was comfortable. I really liked Pamela and something about the look she gave me as I scarfed down my delicious pastry encouraged me to stand and grab one more.

I ate the second one more slowly, savoring each bite, and then sipped my coffee. I was feeling much more relaxed then when I had arrived, but just as I had settled in I heard the sound of a buzzing and the door beside the table of pastries swung open, a middle aged lady storming out from it, with my father, police chief Gordon, behind her.

I recognized her immediately. She was the mother of Tony Roy, a high school senior who had gone missing without a trace one year ago today.  I was filled with despair for her, as I watched her shout at my father, taking in how disheveled she looked. Her hair was in a ponytail that was falling out, her eyes red and swollen from crying. It was obvious that she was very angry with my father. I

watched and listened, and my heart sank more and more as I heard her words.

“It’s been an entire year!!” she shrieked, “My son is still missing! You said you would find him, but you are just as useless as the other detective. What if it were your daughter? What if it was you! My son is missing, and you have found nothing! I hope you never have to feel my pain, but mark my words Mr. Gordon, I will find my son, and when I do, you will be fired and sent back to wherever the hell you came from!” She was nearly breathless when she finished, and she quickly turned on her heel and yanked hard, pulling the giant doors open and taking off down the street.

I looked at my father, and all the fear and anxiety from this morning came rushing back in tenfold. I had never seen my father look so tired and sad. He had been working this case non-stop and here I was waiting to add to his pain and misery. My father caught my gaze and despite the obvious atmosphere the outburst had just left he grinned at me; with all the pride a father should have in his eyes.

My heart fell knowing that the pride he felt would soon be distinguished and replaced with disappointment and I could hardly hold back the tears that were threatening to fill my eyes.

“Hey Jules! I didn’t know you were coming in! Is everything alright?” My father stepped forward, placing his hands on my shoulders and searched my eyes for a hint, wondering what I was doing here instead of attending my 11^th grade biology class. I did my best to smile, and assure him I was okay, wanting to wait until we sat down before I told him what I was really doing here.

“Uh, yeah Dad I’m fine, but I need to talk to you. Can we go into your office?” I was still struggling to believe this was happening, but I knew I needed to do this. I was really sweating now, and I knew my father would eventually pick up on something if I didn’t come clean soon.

“Sure kid! Come with me!” My father said as he pressed his security badge to the door that Mrs. Roy had come storming out of. It was a heavy metal door that only opened freely from the inside. From the outside, you had to have a security badge to be able to open it.

“It was great to meet you Julie!” Pamela said as we started walking through the door, giving us a small wave. “You are every bit as beautiful as the chief said!” Her comment hung in the air, my father smiled at her, and though I tried my best I only managed a small smile and whispered, “You too Pam.” And with that the heavy metal door swung shut behind us, making me want to melt into a puddle and disappear.

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My father led me towards the back of the precinct. We passed several detectives in their cubicles who appeared to be extremely hard at work. They all had massive boxes of case files beside them and could not be bothered to look up from their desk as we passed.

My father had been promoted to police chief and transferred to this precinct - which had a reputation for unsolved cases - a little over one year ago. When my father had come here the detectives were unmotivated and did little work. Many of them had since been fired or sent for further training, while a select few were chosen by my father to stay and be mentored by him. Overall, my father had done what he had always done best and totally transformed this precinct, solving several old cases and proving himself to be the right man for this job.

Unfortunately, the one case that had yet to be solved was the disappearance of Tony Roy, and even though my father had done so much good for this town, Mrs. Roy was not ready to give up on her only son. Mrs. Roy was also the mayor of this town, and as the mayor she had strong connections. I knew her threats had caused my father a lot of stress, but that was only a small part of what was keeping my father up at night.

Each night when he came home, he had talked of Tony Roy and how he wished he would find him and bring him home to his mother. He had never said it, but I knew that as one of the most optimistic people I had ever known, my father was still holding out hope that he would find Tony alive but there was a big part of him that was haunted by the thought of bringing him back in a body bag.

“So, what brings you here kid?” The sound of my father’s voice pulled me from my trance, and I gulped as my eyes met his. I knew it was time. My father was staring at me with his hands crossed in front of him, totally oblivious to what was about to happen. I had been waiting for one full year to say this, but as I sat here, I wanted so badly to never speak these words. I breathed in and then exhaled deeply and gathered every bit of courage I had and then finally I managed to say what I had come here for.

“I’m here to confess to the murder of Tony Roy.”

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Written By: Rebecca Cole 07/05/2020