Finishing Forgotten Stories

Ever since her childhood, Jemia had trouble loving herself. There would be many people playing the role of activists, preaching that everyone is equal and no one deserves to be treated differently. But the ugly truth is that they are not equal, or seen as equals. Denying the fact does not make anyone a better person. Jemia’s biggest insecurity was growing up with foster parents in a rich suburban neighborhood full of happy families.

"Shut up! All you do is make my life a mess and treat me like garbage. I wish I never married you."

Mrs. Walker was screaming in the hospital bed, groaning in pain. She was smacking her fists on the pillows, trying to hit someone. But her husband was calm and continued to comfort her, saying kind words to give her strength. Giving birth to another human is quite a rough struggle. 

Ten minutes later, a female doctor entered the hospital lobby and signaled to an anxious Jemia fiddling with her phone.

"You can visit her now. She's safe."

Jemia entered the delivery room to see her mother crying, while cradling her newborn son in her arms.

"He's so beautiful. My very own son. I love him so much."

Mr. and Mrs. Walker were both crying while the unnamed child was staring into the distance with his pale blue eyes, unable to process anything that was happening. But after several years he would after he had children of his own.

The words 'own son' triggered Jemia. She watched the couple mooning over the child in love and thought of her own parents. What was it like to feel wanted and loved so much? Why did they give her up? She assumed she was just a burden on them and so they left her to have an easier life.

"Jemia! Dear, come over here."

Jemia jumped back into reality. What did she want?

"I can't believe I haven't come up with a name yet." Christine Walker laughed. "I'm so dumbl! What do you think we should call him, Jemia?"

The thought of being able to control something so important and valuable gave her a little peace of mind. She took another look at the small human. All he did was stare with his huge eyes and chubby cheeks, waiting to be complimented.

“I think we should name him Cooper. He looks just like someone who would be named Cooper.” said Jemia. Mr. Walker chuckled a little.

That incident was to be a memory cherished forever by the family. A new child had been born into their household. A few weeks later, the phone was ringing in their home. Someone wanted to come over. That was surprising because the last time the family had guests willing to come over was Christmas. It seems like people only want to come into your life when you are happy and thriving. Just like how the Walkers just welcomed a new member into their household.

“Should I say yes?” Christine asked her husband.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some company over.” he said.

Mrs. Walker was quite stressed. Having guests over was a burden for any person, as it meant you were the one responsible for their enjoyment. The day they were going to come, she vacuumed the whole house for an hour. Then she dusted the furniture and power washed the backyard, leaving it without a peck of dirt. For food, she baked a mushroom casserole and laid out some other snacks and refreshments on the dining table. Just while she was getting it ready, the doorbell rang.

“Why haven’t you changed yet?” she mouthed to Mr. Walker. He nodded and went upstairs to change into a fresh set of clothes. Jemia was doing her box-braids in the mirror, taken by surprise. Christine opened the door and put on a fake plastic smile. It was Mr. and Mrs. Baxter.

“Hey! It’s been a long time. Take a seat and help yourself to some snacks!” she said as a friendly gesture. 

Mr. Walker and Jemia came downstairs as well. They all had to entertain them. 

The four of them sat at the table in a casual conversation. Mrs. Baxter had a loud, obnoxious laugh which could be heard by the whole neighborhood. Suddenly, she took a look at Jemia and raised her eyebrows.

Acting like Jemia was invisible, she casually popped a question. “Is she, you know?”

Jemia tried her best to stay polite and kept quiet, pretending not to hear anything, She looked in the other direction.

“What?” asked Christine.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that two white parents don’t make a black daughter. If she’s not, then one of you has some explaining to do.” she said, laughing stupidly. 

“Yes, she’s adopted. What about it?” she said, smiling with clenched teeth.

“Oh! That’s nice. I hope you’re enjoying your new family. You should be grateful to them.” said Mrs. Baxter, turning to Jemia.

This was too much for Jemia. They were talking about her like she wasn’t a full grown adult in her senior year of high school. She bit down on her tongue and wanted to say something rude yet brave, like they would in the movies. But this was real life, so she had to take it.

“Yeah, I sure am. I couldn’t have had a better family.” she chuckled.

“What’s your story, anyway? Is your mother still alive? Does she still come and visit?” she asked casually while dipping her hands into a fistful of chips. 

Right then and there, there was an outburst of crying from upstairs. An infant’s crying.

“Oh no! Cooper must have woken up. I have to go check on him. I’m so sorry.” said Christine.

Even though she said she was sorry, she was thankful for the distraction so that she didn’t have to go through that mess of a conversation with the Baxters anymore.

“Oh, that’s alright! We’ll be leaving anyway. I have a dentist appointment.” said Mrs. Baxter, not wanting to bear any of the problems.

It seemed like Cooper crying right when Mrs. Baxter got personal with Jemia was not a coincidence. For some reason, Jemia felt like Cooper could understand what she was feeling, even though they weren’t brother and sister by blood.

Later, Christine entered Jemia’s room.

“I’m so sorry for what happened earlier today. Mrs. Baxter isn’t very sensitive to other people’s feelings.” said Christine.

“Yeah, I can see that.” she murmured. “It isn’t your fault, Christine.”

Mrs. Walker raised her eyebrows.

“Sorry, I meant to say mom.” 

“It’s okay sweetie. I know you really miss her, and I’ll never be able to replace her.” she said calmly.

“It just feels bad that I don’t know anything about her, besides the fact that she couldn’t afford to keep me.” Jemia said, trying to hold in tears. “You know, I just need to be alone for sometime.”

“Alone? Are you sure? I could still talk to you if you want, you know?”

“Jemia, you know all you do is whine about your own problems. You’re almost eighteen years old now, why can’t you do something useful like look after Cooper?”

“Just leave me.” she said, annoyed. “I don’t want to argue.”

Christine felt guilty. She couldn’t give Jemia an answer to her question. She started talking it out with Mr. Walker.

“Cory, I really feel bad for her. I wish there’s something I could do to make her forget about her past, being left by her mother in foster care. She seems to really struggle with letting it go.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. Maybe we could take her back to where it all started.”

“Really? But who would watch Cooper? We can’t just leave him alone.”

“Hmm, you’re right. Then which one of us should go?”

“Well, you know what? I would, but I doubt she even cares about what I do for her. She never called me mom throughout her whole childhood. She only calls me by my first name. So I’d rather take care of Cooper. At least he’s my own son.”

The day had come. Christine went upstairs to wake Jemia up.

“Happy birthday, dear. Congratulations on officially entering adulthood. You have a surprise coming your way. Just get ready and hop into the car with your dad.”

“Am I going shopping? I might need some extra cash to buy snacks.”

“No, even better. Just you wait.”

The car ride was long and exhausting. Not to mention, filled with suspense.

“Mr. Walker, you can tell me where we’re going now. Christine isn’t here.”

“No, it ruins the fun! Come on dear, let it be a surprise.”

“Dad, I’m not in middle school anymore. Surprises aren’t fun anymore. Just tell me and get it over with,”

“No, believe me, you’ll be thankful for where I am taking you.”

In close sight was an ambiguous looking building, painted in a basic red and white. It looked familiar, but Jemia couldn’t make out where she saw it. Was it perhaps the set for some movie?

They entered and it wasn’t what she expected. It was no shopping center or arcade, but it was clean and crisp. A desk lady signaled her to take a seat and she had a brief word with Cory Walker.

“Is she here?”

“Yes, she’s in one of the waiting rooms. She’ll be here in a few minutes. I’ve sent Janie to go fetch her.”

Who were they talking about? Who is ‘she’ that they kept on mentioning? Was she getting a new dog? Or a cat? Jemia was excited.

A few minutes later, Janie entered the lobby with a tall, dark-skinned woman. Her hair was Disney-princess level long, neatly tied into box-braids. Parts of it were dyed neon pink and green. She was wearing a black cardigan with a striped shirt and skinny jeans. But she didn’t look too happy.

“Jemia, this is your mother, Anderson. I know you’ve always wanted to meet her.”

Jemia felt a rollercoaster of emotions. She was surprised and didn’t know if she was supposed to be happy or sad. But looking into her eyes, she felt a deep connection with the woman.

“Mom? Are you my real mom?” she asked. 

“Yes, honey. It’s me. Come here.” she beckoned her to come and gave her a hug which lasted for a while. 

“I can’t believe it. I missed you so much. But why did you ever leave me?” her voice became a bit less warm. 

Anderson sighed.

“Jemia, baby. I was so stressed with life, I didn’t believe I was good enough. Your father left me. No one was there for me while I struggled to make ends meet. I didn’t want a family. So one day, when you were a few months old, I signed some papers and gave you up to the adoption center. Then the lovely Walker family, looking to adopt a child came in and brought you to their own household.”

That answer left Jemia feeling a little bit of guilt for her mother, but it wasn’t enough.

“Mom, you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.”

“I’m so sorry, darling. Please forgive me. I don’t want the guilt of knowing you suffered because of me.”

“It’s okay, mom. I’m so happy that I finally got to get back to you again. So are you ready to accept me now, mom? Maybe now you can have a family.”

Anderson sighed and rubbed her face.

“Jemia, you only remind me of my dark past. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to be with me anymore, which is why I gave you up in the first place. I have my own family now, which was properly planned. I don’t want you to mess it up. The only reason I came here is to give you some closure. Cory Walker was quite stubborn to convince me to meet with you here on your birthday.”

“Really? So you came here just to tell me that you don’t want me anymore? Is that what it is now?”

“Jemia, don’t be so selfish.”

“Oh, alright. Dad, I want to go home now. I think I’ve had it now.”

This did not at all go as it was planned. Mr. Walker just wanted Jemia to rekindle with Anderson like she always wanted to. He was shocked by how bitter Anderson was. Maybe Anderson would have never been a good mother for her.

Cory started the car and put on his belt, driving the car out of the parking lot. Jemia was too quiet. Was she about to start something? Taking a look in the rearview mirror, he only saw her expressionless, looking into the distance. The car ride home was very awkward and uncomfortable. 

Christine was sitting at the dining table, waiting. She saw Jemia looking dull and she wasn’t too surprised. Maybe she expected her to be upset? Then why didn’t she stop Cory from taking her there? Why did she ruin her special day?

Just as she was going after her, Cory shook his head and Christine changed her mind. Maybe she needed some space.

“Hey mom, what’s for dinner?” asked Jemia later that night.

Christine was shocked. This was a first. Jemia respecting her and not calling her by her first name?

“Is that what you just called me now? I mean, I made some ravioli for dinner. I know it’s one of your favorites.”

“Cool. I can’t wait to try it.”

“Listen dear, I know I shouldn’t bring it up, but I’m sorry for what Anderson said to you today. I would never do that to my own daughter.”

“You know what? It’s okay. She said she never wanted me. And I was a burden to her. But you did want to keep me in your life. It doesn’t matter if we don’t share the same genes. You’re the one who raised me. So I’m going to call you my mom, just like I always should have. I’m sorry I took you for granted.” 

After giving that long speech, she gave Christine a hug. Christine started crying.

“I love you, Jemia dear. I know I don’t say it enough. But you are my own daughter.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt the lovely moment, but someone needs to clean up for Cooper. He just threw up on the carpet.” said Cory while walking downstairs. 

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of it.” said Christine, wiping her tears. 

Blood is just a liquid, and Jemia knew it more than anyone else. She developed a deeper connection with her foster mother than her so-called ‘blood mother.’ Some people aren’t meant to be in your life, whether you want to keep them or not. It’s much better to be with people who want you in theirs. She didn’t lose anything at all growing up with Christine and Cory. And maybe, there wasn’t any reason to be mad at Anderson for giving her up to foster care. Forgiveness was another question, but keeping grudges is unhealthy. Life just moved on.