The One That Got Away...Maybe?

The One That Got Away...Maybe?

By Heather Ann Martinez

“Well, hello.”

“Oh, wow! I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you?”

“I’m good, really good. How are you?”

“I’m OK. Hey, how was your trip?”

“You mean...?”

“You know, back in college, you always said you wanted to go to Spain or Morocco.”

“You mean Tibet. I always wanted to go to Tibet. Yeah, I did go to Tibet. I did see the Great Wall in China, and I did publish several photographs of the people I met there.”

“Was it all that you hoped it would be? I remember you did so much research and talked to so many people that traveled outside the United States. You broke several dates with me to follow up with your research. I just wanted to know if it was all worth it.”

“Yeah, it was worth it at the time. That was twenty years ago. It was a great experience after feeling like we were in a bubble for four years in our undergrad. I definitely don’t regret going and I’m glad I put in the effort to make it happen.”

“Oh, ouch! I told you I wasn’t going to go with you. I’m not like you. I didn’t need to leave the next county let alone go on an airplane. All I needed was within ten miles of where I grew up including college. I loved what was familiar and comfortable. I didn’t need to dream about far away places. I didn’t need....”

“You didn’t need me. Come on, you didn’t need someone who was always thinking about getting out of the box. You didn’t need someone who wanted to see what was over the next ridge. You were perfectly happy knowing exactly which sidewalk concrete blocks had cracks in them and which ones did not. You knew everyone that lived in your neighborhood and they knew you. I knew I wasn’t going to be content without seeing what the world had to offer. I always thought living in a small town or near enough to a large city like Los Angeles or New York would make me miserable. My parents liked growing up near Las Vegas even though they said it was too hot. It was enough for them. I wanted more. Going over to another county or another state was not enough. Going to other countries and learning other languages definitely appealed to me. I learned the world is a lot bigger than what I thought it was and people have the same triumphs and the same problems no matter what language they are speaking. So, have you spent the last twenty years living within ten miles of where you grew up?”

“I did go out to Providence, Rhode Island for work conferences from time to time. But, yeah, I did stay near where I grew up. The house I grew up in was demolished. It was old when my parents bought it. I bought a house a mile down the road. I worked at the college teaching English and only had one student fall asleep in class for the whole session! I tried to make everything they read come alive. I wanted them to know that the words on a page or on a screen were put there for a reason. I knew most of them would stay local. They’d raise their families, get some sort of mid-level job and spend the rest of their lives watching their kids grow up. Most of my students didn’t have any dreams of going to any big cities. They were content to make home right where they were. I know you think that sounds pathetic. You always thought I had more aspirations and desire to see what was out there. You are right. We spent four years in college with our noses in our books. I spent years after teaching others to put their noses in books. I wasn’t ready to take on the world after college like you were. It wasn’t that I wasn’t curious about what was across the world. I was, but I was also tired of making plans and building up my hopes for you to cancel them.”

“Did I really cancel that many dates? I was so focused on leaving. I didn’t really think you would stay behind. I thought you would go to the moon with me if I asked you to go. I just assumed you would board that plane on that day and not care where we landed.”

“That was your dream. I had more responsibilities. My dad got really sick. My mom couldn’t take care of him on her own. She started to forget things. She started to wander around the neighborhood calling my name and shouting that it was time for me to eat my TV dinner. She used to do that when I was ten. I had no idea she was doing that when I was thirty. Our neighbors helped her home. Eventually, I stopped working full time to take care of both of them. My mother forgot my name and my dad didn’t have the ability to say anything before he passed away. Yeah, I stayed home. I stayed with a community that took care of my parents when I could not. I am sorry I couldn’t follow you for some romantic notion. I figured you would not go or come right back after a few weeks.”

“I wanted to but life out there was so different from life here. I got a photography job in China. I learned to speak Mandarin in college. I worked with journalists and followed stories and deadlines and met so many people. I captured in photographs what words couldn’t. I never meant to cancel all of those dates. I didn’t know your parents got sick. I am so sorry I didn’t know what happened to them while I was away. I am glad you were able to help them in the ways that you did. My youngest brother lives near my parents. He helps them. They kind of knew I wasn’t going to be coming back for a long time. They kind of stopped asking if I was going to come home for Thanksgiving. I always told them there was always something more to see and do. I never thought I would come to a college reunion. I was invited before but I never made it a priority until now.”

“The committee asked you to be the keynote speaker.”

“Yeah, but I still have no idea why.”

“Because of all of us that graduated that year you were the only one who did what you set out to do. You didn’t let me or anyone else slow you down. You worked hard and you got out there. I couldn’t be prouder of the person you have become. Knowing what you have done with your life makes it all worth it.”

“I think my only regret was that I didn’t come back sooner. I’m sure you are married, have a ton of kids and are settled in a pretty little house a mile from where you grew up.”

“No, I never got married. I dated here and there. I think I never met anyone like you. I won’t say I was waiting all this time for you to come back, but I will say I am ready to pack my bags and go wherever you want.”

“You would? Just like that? We haven’t seen each other in twenty years!”

“Yeah, so we will have a lot to talk about on the plane.”