Seconds Before Death

Death is a scary thing. We spend our whole lives avoiding it, even though we are on a constant timer, getting closer to death every second.

It's inevitable. Some people live healthily and live longer while some don't, and live shorter. Most people fear it, while some look forward to it, like me.

I had lived a painful life, tortured by everyone around me. Turns out I would die painfully too, with a knife sticking out of my chest.

I laid down in the side alley, awaiting death. I had about ten seconds left in my life. I looked back upon life, trying to remember the good.

Ten...

I remembered my second birthday, eating a pineapple cake. My whole family surrounded me, lavishing praise and gifts on me.

I found it ironic that one of my first memories was being surrounded by family, but in the end, I would die alone. I just hoped they would miss me.

I thought about love. Love had eluded me for a while, but I had eventually gotten a girlfriend at 20 years old. I remembered my first kiss, sweet and complete.

I thought about my friends. They certainly made life easier and difficult at the same time. I wasn't allowed to go out much when I was younger and missed out on stuff.

Time spent with them was wholesome and often made my day. School was made brighter by their presence. Some of them annoyed me a lot, but I could look past that.

Nine...

I thought about home. I grew up in the city, surrounded by lights and sounds at all times. I remember the house I lived in. Big, but also empty at times.

I remembered my trips. Excursions with my family were always fun. I eventually got to go on trips of my own and explored the wide world.

I thought about my job. Archaeology had always been fun. I explored a lot, gotten recognized by the government for uncovering secrets.

I had lived life on the move. Not staying in a place for long. Archaeology had always been my passion. It was joyous and often dangerous.

I thought about money. I had acquired a lot of it at my ripe age. My job paid well at times. I hadn't lived in luxury as a kid and never took it for granted.

Eight...

I had come close to death at times when I was younger. I had welcomed it then as I did now, but I survived. Not this time though. My luck had finally run dry.

I always thought I would pass on peacefully, without pain. I had hoped for it with all my heart, but alas. I was to die as I had lived, painfully.

Life was often painful. Sometimes physically, sometimes mentally or emotionally. Everyone wanted a reprieve someday. Reprieve from seemingly eternal suffering.

My emotions were always constrained. I had never let my self run free, and now I regretted it. I felt angry and sad at the same time.

Emotions almost always clouded judgements, whether it is anger or happiness. I never understood some people, who expressed them openly.

Seven...

I closed my eyes. Blood still flowed freely from my wound. Nobody was around. Nobody would help. I doubted anyone could have done anything even if they found me.

I had looked the killer in the eyes as he stabbed me. I saw guilt and satisfaction both in his eyes. He was a professional killer, wearing fashionable clothes, which would now be blood-stained.

I didn't try to save myself, I just let it happen. If my time had come, so be it. I had lived to the ripe old age of seventy. I had seen my fair share of the world, now I would explore Beyond.

Six...

I let out a sigh as tears flowed from my eyes. I wondered who he was, and who hired him to kill me. My wife and kids loved me too much to do so, but appearances could be deceiving.

I had lived a good life. I hoped that the afterlife was real. I would have even settled for reincarnation. A second shot at life, even if it was in the underworld excited me.

I wondered what gods were looking down at me. I had brought about enlightenment about their ways, uncovering secrets and mythologies no one knew.

I hoped they would receive my soul with happiness. I would be happy if I found my place there. If I was to go to hell, I would bear my punishment with dignity and honour.

Five...

I looked down. My shirt was soaked through. I looked at my hand, at my ring. It was now tinted red. The blood pooled around me. I sighed and rested my head on the wall behind me.

The sight of blood had never sickened me, but this was pushing the limits. I wouldn't have to bear it for long though. I was feeling light-headed.

I chuckled. It was coming closer. I never thought this day would come when I finally passed away. I was at death's door, probably never returning.

I thought about my dog back at home. He was probably going to be the one who would miss me the most. My heart broke to think of him sad, standing over my grave, but it wouldn't matter in a while.

Four...

My mind started jumping places. I remembered random events from my life, random experiences and random feelings. My arms felt weak and my fingers moved sluggishly.

I wished it would come faster. At least then I couldn't torture myself with more thoughts. My body seemed content to prolong it's torture, extending for an eternity.

The pain numbed a bit. I felt the hole in my sternum. The knife had pierced bone. The wound was clean and I felt my bone inside, hard and sturdy.

Three...

My hand flopped down. My thoughts were moving sluggishly. It seemed like there was a shadow next to me. I looked up, but the shadow vanished.

I could almost hear the sad piano music that would have been playing if this was a movie. Life felt like a movie sometimes, full of twists and turns, full of plot twists and character development.

I wondered if I would see Death himself. Perhaps his scythe would come for me. Perhaps I would be chained and taken along. Perhaps I would be grabbed and hauled along.

Two...

I thought I saw Death. A shadow moved along the wall next to me. The shadow was tall and had a tall staff in his hand. I looked forward and only saw some paper and sticks flapping in the wind.

Death was almost here. I started to feel cold. I felt scared of what I would find after death. Would I become a Spirit or sleep an endless sleep. I dreaded the second option.

One...

Death was here. I would be able to rest now. I would find out if there was an afterlife or not. I would have the answers to everything. I could give up at last.

Zero...

My eyes closed own their own. All feeling ceased. My eyes opened and I blinked surprised. I rose up weightless and timeless. I was a Spirit.