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Fiction Drama Funny

"Mummmyyyy, Alfie hit me!"

"Mummmyyy she kicked me first," came loud cries from the living room as Jess prepared the children's breakfast in the kitchen. The song "Manic Monday" by The Bangles blared from the radio. Jess smiled at how apt this song was for the present moment.

 

It was indeed a very manic Monday morning in the Robinson household. It had been a long weekend. Jess's husband, Tom, was ill with the flu and had been in bed for all of it. She was exhausted and had slept through the first alarm (thank goodness for the snooze function!). Today was her day off work, so after she dropped the kids off at school and checked on Tom, she planned to relax with her breakfast in front of last week's soap operas she had recorded.

 

As she switched on the toaster, she heard a loud crash from the living room. Jess ran through to find the TV lying on its back, having been knocked over by a football. "It wasn't me," her children, Emily and Alfie, said in unison. "How many times have I told you?" "No ball games inside the house!" Jess shouted at them. She was furious and wondered if her kid's ears were purely for decorative purposes. On inspection, the TV was in need of repair or, at worst, replacement. It was the only TV set in the house, so live internet TV was going to have to be used in the near future, and her soap operas were going to have to be watched on her laptop.

 

Just then, a loud beeping interrupted her thoughts. It was the fire alarm. She could smell smoke and ran to the kitchen to find thick black smoke billowing from the toaster. She unplugged the toaster, threw out the burnt toast, and opened the kitchen window to let the smoke out. "I guess it'll need to be the grill," she thought to herself until she realised there was no bread left to make more toast.

 

"Guys, it'll need to be cereal this morning," Jess shouted to the kids. "Oh Muuum!" Alfie cried, "I hate cereal!" Jess could feel her temper fraying and replied, "If you hadn't been playing football in the house, the toast wouldn't have gotten burnt!" "It's not my fault there's no bread," Alfie huffed. Jess was about to reply when her elbow hit the carton of milk which was sitting on the counter with the lid off. It fell onto the floor, and the entire carton spilled everywhere! She now had no milk for the cereal either. The fruit in the fruit bowl had gone bad, so she had no choice but to give them a bag of crisps each and ask them not to mention this to anyone at school in case it ended up on Mumsnet.


After she cleaned up the milk, while the kids sat happily munching their unhealthy breakfast of Monster Munch, Jess pulled on some clothes in the bathroom. As she did, she noticed her leggings were covered in white paint across the crotch. She needed to get another pair of trousers, which were in the bedroom where Tom was still sleeping. She didn't want to disturb him, but she had no choice. He had already slept through the children's noise and the fire alarm, so she figured she could probably manage it if she was careful. Tom was such a deep sleeper that a meteorite hitting the house probably wouldn't wake him.


Jess crept into the bedroom and over to the chest of drawers. However, unbeknownst to her, Sparky, their neighbour's pet cat, had managed to get into the house and enter the room behind her. Jess turned around and stood on his paw. He let out an almighty shriek, which, of course, woke Tom. "So much for sleeping through a meteorite," Jess sighed. Tom understood and wasn’t annoyed at all. He even told Jess that he was feeling a little better. "Something is going right at last!" Jess thought hopefully. Sparky's foot also seemed to be OK, so at least she didn't have to face the wrath of an angry neighbour. Speaking of Sparky, he was meowing at the front door to get out. She opened the door, and he darted off at lightning speed. Jess doubted he'd be back, the poor thing. She didn't blame him. Who on earth would willingly enter this mad house, especially on a Monday morning?

 

"Jessie, love, can you get me a glass of water, please?" Tom shouted from the bedroom. She hated being called Jessie and didn't have the time, but agreed to do it because she felt bad for him. After all, it was her who had woken him up by standing on the neighbor's cat.

 

It was now 8:55 am, with only five minutes until the school bell, and they were now officially late. Everyone had their jackets on and was at the front door when Alfie let out a scream, followed by Emily, who screamed too. "Alfie has a nosebleed!" Emily exclaimed. Jess turned around to see Alfie standing with red blood all over his face and hands, and it was dripping from his nose and onto their new beige carpet.

 

What a morning! She now had a TV on its back, a burnt toaster, a (probably) permanently stained pair of trousers, and a beige carpet covered in blood. Oh, and there was also her son's nose! She got a box of tissues and got Alfie cleaned up. He needed a change of school uniform, so this meant she had to disturb Tom again. This time, she checked for random neighbourhood cats and successfully managed to get a new uniform out for Alfie. However, it was far too soon to entertain the thought that maybe her luck this morning might be changing.

 

It was now 9:15 am, so before they set off for school, Jess called the school to tell them the kids were going to be late. The school secretary wasn’t happy, but Jess didn't care. She just wanted to get through the day with no more bad luck. On their way to school, every traffic light seemed to be red, and every slow driver was in front of them. "Damn you Bangles," Jess muttered as she recalled the song on the radio that morning, feeling sure hearing Manic Monday had jinxed her day.

 

With only a few blocks until the school, Jess approached a red light, but in a haze thinking about her stressful morning, she misjudged the space she had to stop and bumped into the stationary car in front. Thankfully, the kids were okay, if not a little shaken. "Oh no, what next?" cried Jess as she got out of the car to inspect the damage and speak to the other driver. She didn't know how much more bad luck she could take this morning. Now there is a car to fix as well as the TV, toaster, trousers, and carpet. "I hope the driver is nice," she thought to herself.

 

A short woman with dyed neon pink hair, gothic-style clothes, and a nose ring came out of the other car. "I am so sorry!" Jess said sheepishly as she approached the woman. The woman smiled, and she felt a wave of relief that she seemed friendly. The woman got closer and suddenly stopped in her tracks. She gave Jess a look that made her feel a little uneasy. The woman squealed, "Jessica Jones!" "Well, I never!" Jones was Jess's surname before she married Tom. Jess looked at the woman as she got closer; it was none other than her old school friend, Zoe Fisher! Jess and Zoe had been best friends as children; however, Zoe moved abroad with her family when she was very young, and they lost touch. Jess hadn't recognised her at first because of her pink hair. The fact that it had been nearly 30 years didn't help either.

 

"Oh, my goodness!" Jess squealed, "Zoe Fisher, I can't believe it!" "It's been years!" exclaimed Zoe. The women hugged each other tightly. Both women became aware of bewildered faces peering out at them from both cars. "These are my kids, Emily and Lucy," Zoe pointed to two pretty young girls in her car, who waved at them. Jess waved back. "My daughter is called Emily too, and I also have my son, Alfie," said Jess, pointing to the kids in the car. Emily and Alfie waved back. "We moved back here recently for my husband's job," said Zoe. "We will HAVE to get a play date and catch up sorted asap! "Absolutely!" Jess agreed. "I’ll also talk to my insurance about the accident," she added. Jess and Zoe exchanged numbers and got into their cars, which thankfully both had minimal damage.

"It was fantastic bumping into you!" Jess shouted from her car window. "Definitely!" replied Zoe.

 

It was now after 9:30 am; however, meeting Zoe had certainly lifted her mood. She had often thought about Zoe and wondered how she was and what she was doing these days. She had tried searching for her on social media a few times in the past few years but had no success. Now that Zoe was back in her life, no sick husbands, broken TVs, stained carpets, or car crashes could put Jess in a bad mood now, regardless of how her luck went for the rest of the day.

 

Jess drove the remaining few blocks to school, thinking about her morning and how her bad luck, quite literally, led her to bump into Zoe. If she hadn't had such a bad morning, she wouldn't have been running late for school and been in the same place and at the same time as Zoe. If she also hadn’t bumped her car into the car in front, she wouldn’t have known it was Zoe in that car.

 

"I guess it is true what they say: everything happens for a reason," Jess smiled to herself as she pulled up at the school gates. "Maybe The Bangles aren’t that bad after all!"

January 13, 2023 20:41

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