Blessing in Disguise

The bed shaking as I kept changing my sleeping position. I tried to find a spot where I can comfortably close my heavy sleepy eyes. I turned to the right, the left of me feel blank. I turned to the left, it felt it can’t compromise with me. That night, it was breezy, cold, and chill all around my room which was the cause I could not sleep properly, in my guess, until I felt like my whole body jumped without me even moving upon hearing a girl’s sobbing at the end of the corner of my bed. Awaking me up from my bed only to be shocked and found that it was not my room anymore instead of hers, the crying girl. The girl sat in the room, I mean, her room, crying sobbing with both her arms wrapping up, covering her face at the corner, the end of the bed I laid. 

The room gave the chilled feeling as it remained immersed in the darkness as a cool shudder trickles down my spine. A hesitant dim light streamed in through the huge and only window at the end of the room, opposite the door, while I was trying to observe the little girl carefully, who in my prediction, was around 6 years old, in the dull space crying. Well, not until she gave a look back on my confused half-awake mind and face, “you…you’re…me!”

She gave me a creepy smile in her sob. A smile in a vile smirk, malicious scowl, venomous sneer, or wrathful grimace. It can leave you panic-stricken, leaving your mind blank, don’t even know how to think clearly and what to do. Fight or flight is not the option anymore. Scream? Let it alone. Plus, whoever can hear me inside this huge mansion I was alone that time. 

“Don’t be scared. You know me. I am YOU!” She laughed, stretching her mouth so much it almost reached her ears but her eyes turned red. She was not me anymore. She was a little evil!

“Driiiiiiinnnggg!!!!” The battery-powered alarm clock of mine, ringing splitting the inner of my ears from the tip of my head.

“GODDD!!!” Unintentionally, reflecting toward the noisy sound, I threw away my pillow toward the alarm clock. It fell to the floor, but still ringing piercing through my ears.

“S**t!! I’m late!” In hurry, I ran into the toilet, brushed my teeth, washed my face, got changed into my tracksuit, not leaving the backpack I prepared before I slept last night, I dashed out toward my car, speeding the road to where I and my boyfriend made a promise to meet for hiking.

Because of my last nightmare, I was late for today’s hike but I still manage to get up and hit the schedule as I stumbled down the uneven and unpaved road unsteadily with such difficulty, while carrying my huge, heavy, packed backpack with every hiking tool inside. Not too far from 300 meters, I saw him, my shining good-looking boyfriend waited alone while the group already left him behind, waiting for me to catch up. Upon hearing me called for him, he waved his hand wide into the air. 

“Where’s the group? I…I’m so sorry. It…”

Huh! Huh! In short breath, I tried to inhale while finding my word to explain my late but still manage to realize for being left behind.

“Hey. Slow down. It’s fine. We can still catch up with them.” As he said, Sean tried to loosen up the backpack’s belt that choking my waist I, myself, didn’t realize. 

“Is it the nightmare again?” He guessed as if he knew. I bet he surely knew it because he used to stay over at my house. Before he got super busy with piling work, he frequently accompanied me, through the night inside that manageable old mansion. Even my very not welcomed neighbor knew him now as that nosy, meddling Karen kept asking me if he already moved in with me. I still remember her unneeded, not worthy, and stupid advice, telling us to get married every day if I ever ran into her. 

“Eden! Eden! Wake up!”

From far up there, the first climber held the rope tightly while screaming, woke me up from my unconscious state. Upon hearing him, made me realized I was in the middle of the air as I blacked out again, for a second time, after a small but sharp stone enough to slice your meat has fallen on top of my head. 

“Oh… It’s not real. It’s the past!” I could not believe myself that time while struggling to save my life which was at the stake of the rocky hill, I still can dream about the past we did the hiking. Thank God, I was wearing a helmet that time which save my stone-head from the falling rock, piercing and making a hole in my head.

As now I was safely saved and the group dismissed upon landing back where we started our hiking, I was in my deep sweet daydreaming of when we went for the hiking again and today, I did it again with the last group we joined. With such difficulties, as I couldn’t believe right now I was still alive from the scary and steep fall, I was already on a plane for a long-waited journey to meet you in Korea. Out of a sudden, an announcement has been made to calm the increasingly restless level of the passengers as the pilot tried his best to navigate the plane efficiently passing through the rough turbulence hit causing the plane unstably and shakily flying splitting through the dark foggy rain clouds and storms.

What can you expect more from a weather condition where you cannot do anything especially outdoor activities, only to stare outside from the inside and the last thing you can say was, “I hope it was a bright and sunny day but then, it has been raining cats and dogs all day long”? Now, the plane has landed, I wish there’s someone was waiting for me and welcomed me with a big hug to warm the cold I felt.

I looked up to the sky. The rain kept pouring down as if crying together with me for being alone, watching the other two passengers right in front of me, being greeted warmly by each of their partners. I missed you so much that I felt tormented every time I am reminded of our time together especially every time we skipped Mrs. Poppy’s boring math class only to spend that time for ourselves, dating at the greatest annual carnival held by the community gathering where circus, an aquatic park, exotic life performance, and many more were there to join. And you took me by surprise when you told me you’ve already got 2 tickets to my favorite show ever, which was the aquatic life performance including dolphins, penguins and even sea turtles doing tricks and we were excited and could not wait for any more at seeing the dolphins perform tricks.

Upon arrival, all I wanted to go first was the famous, recent rewarded as 2-Michelin Japanese restaurant or people called it The Burning Restaurant, as you said already in your very long letter to me before where every word you wrote must with the detail even can make it easy for a 4 years old kid to understand what are you trying to say. I was stunned at first when I opened the vintage envelope you sent me with its thick content inside. You are never changed as you were before. You were still that punctilious person I used to know. Exact and accurate is your thing. As you said, that restaurant was the first place you hit first upon arrival as it was during its most popular season as we, the customers, can watch the chef preparing the food before your eyes with the red fire burst into a blaze, raging all over the stove as the chef sprinkled some oil while dancing with food in the pan in his hand.

As my second visit after the restaurant, I went to the exhibition hall, not far from the hotel you stayed at last week, where it used to hold an invention competition you eagerly took part in as you also listed in the letter. There, I hope I can witness with my eyes the invention you first developed barely from the scratch for a whole month, you thought it was going to be the great invention ever created that day. It was a total failure when it was your turn to present, as once you tried to put it out from the storage but it completely broke into pieces as soon as you presented in front of the crowd.

You never know how I missed you back home especially every time I woke up in the morning and I couldn’t find you by my side as you usually did. Instead of my best friend you hated the most as you thought he’s going to steal me away from you, Jacob, he waited and stood patiently every day by the room’s door until I was completely ready to stand up on my own as I am now. But that day, it was the hardest decision ever for me, I believe for you and Jacob too, as Jacob kept insisted on me about how much he loved me and willing to wait for me even though our hair has turned grey, the body has become more bent and even the tooth were gone. And that’s how he said how much he loved me as he kept proposing to me with that sparkling expensive beautiful diamond ring. I should just accept the proposal that day only to snatch away that ring. Haha!

* * *

“This can’t be happening! We shouldn’t… we should end this!”

After all the long tiring journey I’ve gone through only to meet you here, what I’ve found was not a good idea to be reminded of. The words you said, the word ‘END THIS’ was not the thing I ever hope to hear from you. I just hope that day was just another nightmare I could not resist like the childhood nightmare I have every single night. 

Those words also were also the reason I almost gave up on you. Gave up on everything about us. Gave up on every memory we created together. Gave up my hope I poured in you once I stepped on each step of the airplane stairs the day before you broke this already broken heart again. And you won’t believe me who was there again for me, lending me his shoulder for me to cry on, and his ears listening to the broken heart. Jacob was always there that time.

* * *

“I need you to come back!”

How could you say that to me after all the hard work I did for us to keep the relationship going and evergreen as it used to. However, once I was there from that long and rough journey I went only to meet you again, I still could not believe what I have to witness with my deep green and still clear eyes your wide lit up red lips, and heard with a pair of my ears, you will not continue this relationship anymore as you put all the blames on me. Later, with the same burning red lips of yours again, those words you sent me through the phone text, saying you want me back only adding insult to the injuries I had from you last year.

* * *

It has been a year since I came back from the visit of you where it all went wrong and it was proven as Jacob used to say to me, we can’t seem to understand each other no matter how hard we tried, no matter how clearly we think we’re ‘speaking’ with each other, communicating in as many ways as we can, only to find us getting apart on the next day. 

Last month, after a year we stopped meeting each other, you came back that day in front of my door. But, you were not the same guy as I used to see. Your eyes were soaked in tears. Your skin was as pale as a dead body. Your cloth was soaked wet. You were soaked in the snow and not on your own that day. I invited you inside. That night, was the first night after a year we spent the night together. Right in front of the burning fireplace, inside the living room, you sat on the couch, slowly slurping the hot chocolate I made. It was intense awkward you started the whole story. Your story reflected how Jacob I know its not the good guy I always thought. He was the reason we broke up. He was the reason you stepped away. He was also the reason you were in the state you were that day. I could not believe everything you said until you showed me your proof. Every proof you got always leading to Jacob as the guy who I never know his other side. As far as I know now, he was not here anymore. That’s what you’ve been telling me that day. I don’t even know what did you mean but all I know was I did have noticed sometimes how cringe he was every time all of us together and he always wanted to avoid you. Until then, I still not noticed what’s wrong until that day, you solved everything puzzled inside my brain.

* * *

“Eden Jefferson, do you sincerely accept Sean Winston as your husband?”

“I do!” I could not contain my happiness that day once I stood saying ‘I do’ in front of you. The pastor was still with his words I hugged and kissed you on your lips leaving you blushing all over your face.

The next month as now, we were here, standing in front of each other, making a vow to complete each other from now and then as you put the shining pure gold on my skinny beautiful long finger. That was where I just had the thought as I’d say, ‘this was what the old called, a blessing in disguise’.

THE END.