Christmas: The Snowstorm of Family and Truth

I looked up ahead, my feet aching, my chest heaving, and a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. Still, I summoned every ounce of strength to push onward. This was my golden ticket—a matter of life or death. If they caught me, it would all end.

THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

“Almost there,” I whispered as I delicately cut and shaped my beautiful clay reindeer. I carved and scooped, made delts and smoothed the coarse spots. Using my precise tools and soft hands, I was almost finished with creating the head of the animal when suddenly, thunderous steps approached from my door. Suddenly, my room shook by the loud powerful banging on my door, making me jump from my chair. 

“Darius!” I hollered as I dashed to the door. Just as expected, Darius was on the ground, laughing like a hyena. 

“Do you mind? Unlike you, some of us are actually trying to get some work done?” I questioned.

“Sorry Jess, I just had to,” Darius snorted as he ran outside. I sighed as I sat back down in my chair to finish my reindeer, which luckily, wasn’t damaged. Sculpting is a tedious yet deeply rewarding process. Its versatility draws me in- the structure, the colors, the shading, and the meaning blend seamlessly, like ingredients in a perfect dish. Sculpting also shields me from life’s troubles, creating a bubble where pain can’t reach. It’s my constant companion, soothing me and never letting go.

I grew up in a bad environment. I live with my older brothers, Darius and Andrew, along with Mama in an extremely poor community. There are dangerous gangsters, drug dealers, and homeless people littered all across the street. In fact, you can’t even walk a block down the sidewalk without getting jumped and robbed. Mama always used to tell me, Always show your strongest, even at your weakest. Since my dad died when I was 2, she was our mediator, the web that held our broken family together. She works 2 jobs to provide for our family’s needs but still manages to make time for us, whether it be to dance practice to graduation ceremonies. As for me, Jessica, I was always considered the weird kid. I never made any friends at school and I never did anything outside of sculpting. I was in my own little world, doing bare minimum and leaving without batting an eye. 

This Christmas Eve, although we don't have much, we're trying our best to light up the Christmas Spirit-even decorating an old pine tree with a few ornaments and lights. This year, however, we aren't doing presents. Though I'm a little bummed out for the new sculpting supplies I greatly desire, Mama always tells me to be grateful for what I have, as many others don't even have a roof above their heads.

“Jess, Dinner!” Mama called out from the kitchen. I jumped up from my chair and raced down the hall before Darius and Andrew could devour any food. As I ate my grilled cheese and drank some hot chocolate, an excited Andrew threw Darius down on the ground before hurdling over him as Mama and I laughed hysterically. After dinner, I went to the bathroom to take my much-needed shower. As the warm droplets splashed my back, I almost fell over in relaxation. They felt as if they were washing my pain away, just like sculpting. After the refreshing shower, I stepped back into my room to finish my reindeer. Just in time for Christmas, I thought, smiling. But as I was detailing and adding the finishing touches, drowsiness washed over me, and before I knew it, I collapsed with my head on the desk, asleep.

BANG! BANG! BANG! I jolted up from my desk in sweat. I glanced at my clock which read that it was 3 in the morning. BANG! BANG! BANG! The sounds became louder and vivid. Outside of my room, I could hear a scream. Mama’s scream. I took off out of my room to find 2 officers handcuffing Mama with my brothers wrestling against them. I grabbed a kitchen pan and swiftly positioned behind the cops, who hadn’t noticed me. I raised the weapon and smashed the first officer’s head, instantly knocking him out. Next, I took a swing at the second officer, who was already trampled by my brothers. 

“We need to run!” Mama pulled off the handcuffs and ran to the garage with us on her tail. As we entered, we all hopped into our family van and blazingly drove off into the cold, Christmas night. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall as I tried to calm myself, but questions swirled in my mind. Why is Mama getting arrested? What happens after this? Will I have to start a new life? I couldn’t speak, my head was in shambles, unable to think, and my heart was beating a million miles an hour. The streets were eerily quiet as we drove through the snow-covered town. Bright lights blinked on buildings, and wreaths accompanied doors, but inside our van, the warmth of the holiday felt far away.

“Kids, we’re going to sleep here tonight,” Mama sniffled as we pulled into a gas station. She tried to be tough for us, but I knew that she was on the verge of tears. 

“Mama, what happened?” I asked. 

“It’s just… trouble with some people I know. It’s no big deal- don’t worry about it” 

I couldn’t fall asleep that night, neither one of us could. We sat in the car, taking turns hugging and crying with each other until the break of dawn. That morning, we all headed inside the gas station to buy some food. Mama had just a few dollars left, so we rationed granola bars and fruit snacks, saving the rest for gas—thankfully, the tank was already full.

“Mama, what’s going to happen to us now,” I croaked, still in shock from last night. 

“Don’t you worry Jess, I promise you, everything will be fine, just... take a breather for a few days,” Mama replied anxiously. Afterwards, we stopped the local park, where we cooled off and enjoyed ourselves for a few hours. While my brothers were chasing each other in a snowball fight, I sat on the swings, trying to grasp onto everything. I wondered what Mama ever could’ve done to deserve this. She was the textbook definition of an angel, feeding the homeless her special dishes, volunteering at the local church. It was all so puzzling with no answer in sight. Later that day, we headed back in the car and drove for nearly 3 hours to reach Aunt Denise, Mama’s sister. Snow blanketed her driveway, lights rimmed around her roof, and a small wreath hung from her door.

“I heard you needed a place to stay for Christmas,” Aunt Denise cooed at Mama as we pulled into the driveway.

“Yeah, just from… financial problems,” Mama retorted, her voice tight. Financial problems, I wondered.

“Well, well, well, I never thought the star child of the family would ask me for help. I wonder what shenanigans she’s been up to,”

“None of your business, Denise”

“Oh I’ll find out real soon,” Aunt Denise challenged as she walked into the kitchen. As we settled into the new house, I took the guest bedroom with my two brothers and Mama slept on the couch in the living room. After a few hours, Aunt Denise called all of us over for a feast of burgers, grilled to perfection. 

“My specialty!” She exclaimed as we eagerly devoured every bite. The mix of flavors and textures were absolutely delicious and it was our first warm meal since the incident. After dinner, we all huddled in the living room to watch TV and relax. The house spelled of pine and cinnamon. In that moment, it was the first time where it finally felt ok. It felt like all of our problems were washed away, never to be seen again. It felt like Mama wasn’t going to get arrested and be thrown to jail. It felt like we could just go and return back for Christmas. As I lay on the bed, I still feel a pang of wonder, telling me that something isn’t right. Something seems missing from the story. I still didn’t understand it, and as these thoughts roamed through my head, I closed my eyes and dozed off.

Cop sirens go off. I try to fall back asleep, but they’re too loud. I don’t know why they’re happening, and I just want it to stop. I rolled around in my bed, covering my ears before it all dawned on me. 

“MAMA!” I screamed and ran out of my bed to my missing brothers. No no no, this can’t be happening, I kept repeating to myself. As I reached Mama, it was already too late. In cuffs sat both Mama and my two brothers with over ten officers surrounding them. Aunt Denise was watching by the kitchen, unable to show a single sign of remorse. 

“Why did you do this to me, Denise? You monster!” Mama wailed. 

“Well, you knew the risks, Valencia. I told you—criminals can’t escape the law,” Aunt Denise said icily.

Criminal? Impossible, I shuddered, unable to take a single step. I knew I had to get out of this house immediately. I don’t know where I went, I just had to flee. I took a deep breath and-

“Hey! Get back over here!” An officer alerted. I bolted past the group and in an instant, was out the door. I ran like an Olympic athlete, my legs tearing through the snow, my strides long and radiant, my heart skipping beats. I rounded the corner only to find more officers. I stopped and reversed, unable to break my momentum. It was a blur of red/blue lights and shouts, yet I kept running, gaining more and more speed. I looked ahead, my feet aching, my chest heaving, and a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. Still, I summoned every ounce of strength to push onward. This was my golden ticket—a matter of life or death. If they caught me, it would all end. I ran for what felt like a marathon before collapsing into the snow, trying to catch my breath. As I laid there, my eyelids drooped, heavy of my sleep deprivation and soon, I blacked out, leaving my body in the cold, winter night of Christmas.

I woke up in a hospital bed the following day. As I tried to recall what events occurred, someone reached their hand out. Aunt Denise, I started panicking.

“Stay calm, deep breaths,” she soothed. “It’s going to be okay, just take some time.”

“Where is my family?” I demanded.

“I will explain everything to you once you’ve calmed down. This information will be a lot for you, so take some time, please.” 

Doctors and nurses came to me, checking on me after I woke up. It was apparent that I had contracted various bruises/blisters along with dehydration and a mild case of hypothermia. After eating dinner, I couldn’t wait anymore. 

“Aunt Denise, what happened,” I pleaded.

Aunt Denise gulped, “Well, I wished to tell you this sooner before all of this mess but, your father- he’s not really dead.”

“What?” I started panicking. It was getting hard to breathe again. “But, but Mama-” 

“I know this is a lot, so just give me a second. When you were 2 years old, your mother took you and your older brothers out of your father’s house and drove off. She was mentally unfit, had lots of issues/addictions, and was a deadbeat mother. I remember her weeping every single night to me from arguments and fighting with your father. After she took off, there was a national manhunt to find you guys, but your mother, as smart as she is, hid and avoided everyone. After a year or so, your mother moved to a poor and low-profile community to ensure that you guys would never be caught. I knew about it, and for 13 years, I’ve kept quiet about this until earlier when I tipped off the cops. That’s why they broke into your house and tried to arrest your mother.”

Sometimes, the weight of emotion is so overwhelming it leaves you without feeling. As I listened, I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. It was like my brain was shutting down, creating vast lands of an empty void in me. 

“What’s going to happen to Darius and Andrew?” I heaved out of my body.

“Right now, they’re detained but they should get out scot-free,” Aunt Denise replied.

“W-what about Mama?” I shivered, preparing for Aunt Denise’s reply like bullets firing onto me. 

“I’m so sorry, but she’ll be gone for a long time. I know she was a great person to you and has done great things, but even a wolf can hide in a sheep’s clothing. After we get you out of this hospital, you’re going to be returned back to your father. He is just as amazing and kind. But best of all, he’s just like you,” 

The day came. Christmas ended with uncertainty, but when I finally stood at my father’s door with my brothers, guided by Aunt Denise, hope bloomed. His house was bigger than I imagined, with decorations in the front lawn and a glistering, cozy inside.

“Are you guys ready!” She hooted. “I can’t believe this, but I might tear up letting you guys go. Just know that if you ever need anything, don’t bother to call!” 

As I knocked, I thought of all that had happened—the fear, the loss, the love that endured. When the door opened, warmth greeted me. After days of turmoil and pain, my mind finally found peace. For the first time, I felt at home, ready to conquer this beautiful winter.