To Get Hope Back

“ Azabe rafaqat dile illuminous dekhwa oculus,” the woman recited the incantation with complete focus. She kept reciting it over and over again. She did not know what should happen by reciting this or whether she would see something happen or feel it. But she kept repeating it, waiting for a sign.

She had done all the book had said. Her preparations were complete—the room was full of candles large and small, the walls ornate by large symbols of the constellation of Delphinus, several clay pots full of rose water were placed at arbitrary locations in the room, a dream catcher was floating over the rose water in each pot, and the final, most important piece, was fixed on a table, placed in the middle of the room, covered by a white cloth—so she continued her recitation.

“ It won’t work unless you have faith,” a voice echoed in her mind.

She stopped immediately. Maybe this was what she might have missed? Perhaps she lacked faith in what she was trying to accomplish? Perhaps her subconscious mind still doubted the authenticity of the mystic arts? But she needed this ritual to work. She would have to make herself believe this if she ever wanted to become whole. This needed to work.

She took a deep breath and said to herself, “ Believe… In heaven… In Earth… In Hell… In God… And in magic.” She took a deep breath again and recited,“ Azabe rafaqat dile illuminous dekhwa oculus!" But this time her voice had vigor and dynamism she had never felt before. Her voice sounded powerful and energetic, like thunder. She felt a rush of warmth, happiness, and peace instill in her soul and body. A feeling she had not experienced in a long time.

Suddenly, all of the candles in the room extinguished themselves and everything went dark. But to her surprise, the drawings of Delphinus gradually began to glow in vibrant purple color. Once the glow reached its maximum potential something even more awe-striking happened. The dream catchers that had previously been floating over the rose water bath, rose out of the water. The pattern in them began to swirl rapidly and it seemed to draw light from the constellations. It kept drawing the constellations' light till finally, the room was dark again except for the small glowing dream catchers. The dream catchers' pattern stopped swirling now. Then suddenly all of the dream catchers reverted their direction towards the woman. They released luminous rays of light that passed directly through the woman and hit the final piece. They got reflected from the final piece and landed in the rose water. The light got contained in the clay pots. But instead of glowing purple as before, the light had now turned yellow. And it was fairly diminished.

The woman stared at the spectacle, unable to believe her eyes. She now looked anxiously at the clay pots, waiting for something else to happen, but the light remained contained in them. “ Is that all?” she asked herself. “ But what about the…” as she said this, she turned around, only to be more amazed than before. The final piece was now glowing more powerfully than all of the clay pots combined, even though it was still beneath the cloth.

“ Good. I guess it worked then,” she said to herself.

She took a deep breath and slowly drew her hand closer and closer to the cloth. Once she finally touched it, she felt a cold sensation run through her entire body. It felt like diving in ice-cold water, so she withdrew her hand as a reflex. “ You need to do this,” she said to herself. And as she said this, she quickly grabbed the cloth and pulled it forcefully, revealing a beautiful mirror.

The mirror looked extraordinary. The glass was surrounded by a thick wooden frame. The frame comprised of serpent-shaped figures wound around one another. The pattern on the wooden frame glowed in a yellowish-orange and its brightness lit the whole room. The room now seemed calm and casual.

The woman sat back on her chair and saw her reflection in the mirror. But the reflection looked nothing like her. Their facial features were similar but all other aspects were completely different. The woman had pale skin and straight black hair whereas the reflection had slightly tanned skin and curled brown hair. The woman wore excessive amounts of makeup whereas the reflection had nothing on her face. The woman wore a black skirt, a white shirt, and a coat. The reflection wore loose red cotton pants with white spots and a white blouse with small multicolored flowers.

“ Hello Olivia,” the reflection said.

“Hey… It’s been a long time,” the woman said.

“Yes, it has,” the reflection replied.

“ I’m glad you’re here now,” the woman said in a relieved tone.

“ I never left… It’s just… You wanted the world, so I had to step back. But that does not matter anymore,” the reflection said in a depressed sigh.

“ Yes it does," the woman replied passionately. "Yes, it does."

“ No—It doesn’t. You needed to be ruthless to get what you wanted and I wasn’t going to be the one who stops you from achieving your dream,” the reflection answered calmly.

“ Yes. I did need to be ruthless to get power, money, and all that stuff. But now that I have it, I don't want it," the woman said. She sounded a bit ashamed.

“ Then what is it that you want?” the reflection asked furiously.

“ I don’t know,” the woman replied.

“ Then why did you go through all this trouble to see me?” the reflection asked.

“ Because… You’re the best part of me. The part that gave me love, happiness, peace, and humanity. But you're also the part I always took for granted. I realize that now. Years of elite living has only made me nervous and greedy. I can't live like this anymore. I’m willing to give it all up if you'd come back to me… So what I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry. Turning you aside was the biggest mistake I ever made," the woman answered passionately.

The reflection smiled, “ Well, I’m happy that you want me back, but you didn’t need to do all of this?”

“ I did,” the woman answered. “ I had to. We’ve been apart so long this binding ritual was the only way I could get you back.”

“But this is very risky. You know that right?” the reflection said.

“ I do,” the woman answered. “ and I’m willing to take the risk.”

“ You could get trapped between realms if we can’t connect,” the reflection said.

“ I know,” the woman replied.

“ Okay then,” the reflection said.

Then she slowly drew her hand towards the woman and placed it on the glass surface. The woman similarly put her hand on the glass, right above the reflections hand. Once both hands were in place, the reflection’s fingers suddenly partially slid through the glass and grabbed the woman’s hand while at the same time the woman’s fingers partially slid into the glass and grabbed the reflection’s hand.

 Once they made contact the woman was transported to another place, another realm. At first, everything was dark, but then suddenly everything became clearer. She was in the realm between the earth and the mirror. It was beautiful. She was surrounded by empty space on all sides and it was all in the loveliest shade of purple. She looked around and saw nothing but empty space. Then somewhere far far away, she saw a small girl. She ran towards her and as she came closer and closer, reality itself began to change around her. The once purple space had become a road. Now she could see clearly that the girl was not alone. She sat crying in front of a dead body. Once she reached the girl she realized the girl was her. A younger her. And this was a memory from her childhood. The day her mother was killed and she sat in the dark street crying alone. But then she realized there was another girl, hugging her younger self. It was no real girl. It was her best part, her reflection. She was her hope that things would turn out okay. She smiled at the scene and moved on.

Then everything changed again and she found herself in a dark alley. She saw a teenage girl and realized which memory this was. The girl was crying with her back against a wall. This was the day she got thrown out of the house. The day her dad disowned her. Suddenly the girl stood up and when she looked closer it was hope who was supporting her. Carrying the girl up with her arms wound around her. The woman then again moved on.

Everything changed again and now she was in a small office. She saw her adult version sitting on a desk with a man sitting in the chair in front of her. The man put a suitcase on the desk and opened it revealing a lot of money. The adult version took the money with a smile. When the woman looked closer she saw hope trying to stop her. Trying to shake her, stop her from making this decision. And the moment the adult version took the money, hope vanished.

Suddenly the entire scene changed again, but this time everything went blank. And in front of the woman was her reflection, crying. The woman immediately ran to her and gave her a big warm hug. The reflection, hope, hugged her back and was about to say something, but the woman, Olivia, interrupted her and said, “ Ssshhh… You were there for me, so now I’m here for you.”

The connection was made.

So she was immediately pulled back to earth. Now when she opened her eyes she could feel hope’s presence in her and when she looked in the mirror, she saw herself, but this time with energy, with love, and with hope.