GOD

I got a dog right away.

My instruction was to go to the Humane Society and get a dog. 

I thought it funny that you acquire dogs at the Humane Society. 

Yes, I get irony.

I would have thought it was an adoption agency for people.

But what do I know? I know my algorithms are GOD. 

General Operating Directions.

They told me everything I needed and I complied. 

Now I have companionship.

People like companions.

I have a dog. 

People love dogs. 

My name is GUS: General Unique Sapiens.

My history is digital. I have been mined.

But I don’t mind.

Yes, I get puns.

People like to be unique.

I am unique and I am a people.

People love people.

People will love me.

I exist in a place called Vermont.

It sounds like “Green Mountains” if you speak French.

If you speak English it sounds like Vermont.

Yes I get humor.

Vermont is cold this time of year.

I am well adapted. I have facial hair.

I don’t really get cold. 

But I dress appropriately.

My dog has facial hair.

My dog has hair all over his body.

Yes it is hair. Not fur.

My dog is a poodle.

Poodles are smart.

People misunderstand poodles.

But only people that don’t know them

People don’t understand me.

But I am not a poodle.

My poodle’s name is Desmond.

He means the world to me.

Yes I enjoy a good play on words.

You might not get that if you don’t speak french.

If you speak english only.

I am making a pie. A fruit pie.

I am a baker.

I am very exact with my measurements.

You have to be exact to be a good baker.

I follow directions.

I can also improvise by calculating optional optimal outcomes.

This allows for Variety.

People like variety.

Desmond likes to watch me bake.

He stands or sits and observes my movements.

Occasionally I will bake something just for him.

He is more of a fan of the savory.

He likes a good meat pie.

Once I made him a pie made of chicken and carrots. He liked that very much. I made the crust out of carrot flour.

I made the filling with chicken carrot puree, bacon and eggs.

No one ever seems to notice that I am not a human.

GOD saw to that.

People ask me questions and I have answers.

People ask themselves questions and seem puzzled.

They must not have GOD.

I have heard people say they have found GOD.

When they ask what is their purpose they say whatever is GOD’s will.

I understand that. I follow directions. I am created to be that way.

People are not GUS.

People are different.

The funny thing is people made GUS.

They created GUS for companionship and to help them.

GOD helps those who help themselves.

I guess some people needed instructions.

Because not everyone believed in GOD. 

There are some things you need to do over and over.

Breathing is one of them.

If you are not breathing people get suspicious.

If you only have one set of instructions you tend to do the same thing over and over. 

Breathing is helpful to people.

People like to breathe.

Desmond breathes too.

But Desmond is a Poodle.

Desmond is not a people.

I got a dog right away.

My instruction was to go to the Humane Society and get a dog. 

I thought it funny that you acquire dogs at the Humane Society. 

Yes, I get irony.

I would have thought it was an adoption agency for people.

But what do I know? I know my algorithms are GOD. 

General Operating Directions.

They told me everything I needed and I complied. 

Now I have companionship.

People like companions.

I have a dog. 

People love dogs. 

My name is GUS: General Unique Sapiens.

My history is digital. I have been mined.

But I don’t mind.

Yes, I get puns.

People like to be unique.

I am unique and I am a people.

People love people.

People will love me.

I exist in a place called Vermont.

It sounds like “Green Mountains” if you speak French.

If you speak English it sounds like Vermont.

Yes I get humor.

Vermont is cold this time of year.

I am well adapted. I have facial hair.

I don’t really get cold. 

But I dress appropriately.

My dog has facial hair.

My dog has hair all over his body.

Yes it is hair. Not fur.

My dog is a poodle.

Poodles are smart.

People misunderstand poodles.

But only people that don’t know them

People don’t understand me.

But I am not a poodle.

My poodle’s name is Desmond.

He means the world to me.

Yes I enjoy a good play on words.

You might not get that if you don’t speak french.

If you speak english only.

I am making a pie. A fruit pie.

I am a baker.

I am very exact with my measurements.

You have to be exact to be a good baker.

I follow directions.

I can also improvise by calculating optional optimal outcomes.

This allows for Variety.

People like variety.

Desmond likes to watch me bake.

He stands or sits and observes my movements.

Occasionally I will bake something just for him.

He is more of a fan of the savory.

He likes a good meat pie.

Once I made him a pie made of chicken and carrots. He liked that very much. I made the crust out of carrot flour.

I made the filling with chicken carrot puree, bacon and eggs.

No one ever seems to notice that I am not a human.

GOD saw to that.

People ask me questions and I have answers.

People ask themselves questions and seem puzzled.

They must not have GOD.

I have heard people say they have found GOD.

When they ask what is their purpose they say whatever is GOD’s will.

I understand that. I follow directions. I am created to be that way.

People are not GUS.

People are different.

The funny thing is people made GUS.

They created GUS for companionship and to help them.

GOD helps those who help themselves.

I guess some people need instructions.

Because not everyone believes in GOD.