A Night of Tricks

Tomorrow would be Christmas, her favorite holiday. Full of delicious food, gifts, and most important to Gwyn, family. Gwyn always looked forward to creating new memories with her family and could not wait to see what tomorrow would bring. She walked around her spacious new home, situated in a cozy, quiet neighborhood. There were stores nearby, a laundromat, restaurants— everything anyone could have wanted. But she was alone. To distract herself from the plethora of feelings, she started unpacking her things.

“Okay, my clothes can go in this corner, my bed can go beside that, and then these pillows can go over here. Yeah… this is cozy… it’ll have to work until I can find a job.”

She bagged a small gift for her sister and left it by the front door. Although she doubted her sister would show up, she wanted to be prepared.

Gwyn’s home was hidden behind thickets of bushes so that car lights couldn't shine their blinding beams into it. She made sure to check this before buying the house.

No one wants to sleep at night thinking they got an early access pass to the afterlife, she often told herself when living with her parents. She hung up some glittering snowflake lights above her bed and checked the thicket of bushes outside, but no cars were in sight. Gwyn checked her phone; her service was off and her battery was partly full. She glanced at the time on her lock screen; her winter-themed background highlighted her face with shades of white and blue. It was 9 pm, but she already knew that from the moon overhead. It cast a faint light on her door, visible enough to light up her house, saving Gwyn some power in case she needed to turn on the heater on cold nights. She didn’t have many warm jackets, and it was almost 40 degrees outside, so she wore all her sweaters and jackets, and walked around to try and get blood flowing to the rest of her body. The thought of sweaters and jackets reminded her to hang her clothes. Gwyn didn't have an ironing board yet, so she had to make sure her important clothes weren’t wrinkly. It might cost her a job if her clothes weren’t spick and span. She found a ledge that could support a hanger and she hung her clothes on it. 

God, I miss having my closet. This would be so much easier, she thought with a sigh. Sitting on the floor of her unfurnished home, she started fidgeting with her fingers, as she always did when she was nervous.

“My life could have been so much easier, but I had to leave. What’s the point of parents if they don’t help you grow, or love you? Children are a blessing, why treat them like a curse? But the rose had too many thorns, and I started bleeding. I need to heal. It’ll probably be weeks before I see my family again, even if I want to see his stupid face again.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she fell to the floor.

“This is so stupid. I’m still a child, why do I have to go through all this? Normal kids have a happy family where they all sit in a 5 seater bike and stroll through the neighborhood and say, ‘Hey John how's the wife?’ But here I am! Sitting in a one-person tent I stole from my mother, camping out behind some dead bushes in an abandoned parking lot. All because I want to change my future. But no, all my parents wanted was for me to be some picture-perfect, textbook definition of a straight-A student like all the other kids in my class who have no personality.”

Her face grew wet from the tears, and the gust of wind made her body shiver. Her fear rose, and she could feel her heart thumping madly against her chest.

“What if I go back?” she whispered to herself, “What if I pretend to give them the greatest haha Christmas scare ever and then deal with my punishment for simply trying to live a better life?” A dry laugh escaped her lips at the thought, “I mean, what if my silly rose analogy is just stupid? What if  I just have to grow up and deal with my problems? I’m 15, I can handle it!” 

Gwyn became weak from crying and took deep breaths to calm herself. She drank some water and sat at the edge of her bed, lost in her thoughts. She imagined all the different scenarios that might happen if she showed up at her home. Would her parents be happy that she had come back? Would they cry tears of joy? Would they apologize for their mistreatment? Or would they toss her to the curb, like she always thought they would? It was useless to ponder. She decided to go for a walk. She wasn’t that far away from her old house. She thought about strolling to the place and trying to catch a glimpse of what her family might be doing. She looked at her phone again. She pulled out the SIM card, keeping unwanted calls away. She knew how technology worked, so there was no way for her family, or anyone, to track her location. She unzipped her tent and crawled outside. The streets were empty, except for the few cars passing by every time the light changed from red to green. She walked past the district where she and her sister used to get Asian snacks and buy random things they found interesting. The store windows were decorated with cut-outs of snowmen and signs mentioning all Christmas-themed items were 50% off and decorations were now in stock. 

All of a sudden she saw her sister rush out of the store. Gwyn franticly looked around and hid behind a trashcan. Do I want to be found by my sister? I’m sure she’d understand. She stared at her sister, and somehow, her feet gave up and she tumbled to the side.

“Gwyn? Oh my god thank god I found you! Why would you do that? I tried calling you, I went to your friends they are also worried about you-”

Gwyn slowly tuned out her sister’s frenzied, long sentences and looked at her. She noticed the red streaks in her eyes; she missed her. Someone related to her actually missed her. Gwyn smiled and hugged her sister, feeling warmth for the first time after a long, cold night. 

“I don't want to go back. Not for a while”

“Gwyn, they’re your parents. You need to come back. I am taking you there right now. Let's go.”

Gwyn saw herself frozen in time. She thought her sister would understand. Why would she do this? Was it warmth she felt? Or a sharp pain of a backstab? Gwyn pulled away from her hug and tried to run. Her sister grabbed her coat. Luckily, Gwyn was wearing a lot of layers and simply shrugged off her coat. She ran towards the end of the block, towards the dimly lit alley.

She turned the corner and hid behind a dumpster; it wasn’t the best smelling, but it would work. She heard her sister talking to someone.

“Hey Mom, I found her at the store, I tried getting her but she r-ran away again. I have her jacket though s-so um… I’m gonna go home. She has to come home eventually. I’m sorry.”

The thought of Gwyn’s surprising departure made her sister cry. Gwyn was tired of the walking, crying, and running. She was going back to her new house to go to sleep. 

Gwyn never liked being alone. It meant that she had to think, and she messed up her mind when she thought, imagining scenarios and ruining her overall perspective on whatever she was going through. She decided to think of what she left behind in her old house: her blankets, her warm, fluffy socks, her water bottle, her watch, her jewelry, her pet snake… her pictures of her friends and family… that spot on the wall where she hung a photo of her and her sister when they were kids… Why did it matter to her? She backstabbed her, she broke her trust. Her sister was no longer an ally, and it shattered her heart. 

Why wouldn't she understand? If she claims she went through the same thing as me, why wouldn't she help me? Hmm, whatever. What else do I miss? My own bathroom, that's for sure. 

When Gwyn returned to her tent around 11 p.m., it was time to sleep. The police had already begun searching, so she had to decide whether to stay where she was or go somewhere else.

Gwyn didn’t want to think about it. She decided to ponder what else she missed but was interrupted by her stomach. 

Oh shoot, I think I need to eat…I didn't pack anything, though, and all the stores are probably closed…

She thought back to the kitchen in her house where her mom would cook the most mouth-watering meals out of the most basic ingredients, chicken curry being her favorite dish. 

“All you do is add water to a boil-”

Gwyn always zoned out while watching her mother cook. She loved seeing her mom try new recipes she had thought of the night before, and she was amazed to see the most random ingredients go into a giant pot and come out as a beautifully crafted dish. 

I think… I think… I think I miss my mom… I wanna go back home… I can't deal with this anymore. 

Gwyn began to pack her things. It wasn’t much, but repacking everything in her bag was going to take a while. She had not thought of what she missed about her dad because all her memories of him were mainly of him yelling at her for something she did, like coloring on the walls when she was a baby or getting startled when her dad sneezed too loudly.

In my defense, not even an elephant sneezes like that. 

But Gwyn thought harder, and she remembered a time her dad woke her up super early on a weekend and took her out for breakfast. It was the only time they did that, and Gwyn loved it. Having a bunch of little moments didn’t mean she was going to forgive her father, but maybe she wouldn’t be so harsh on him now. She finished packing her tent at 1 am. Her mother was going to leave for work soon, so she had to hurry. Gwyn walked home holding her bag for her sister, along with some plastic water bottles she had packed with her. Around 2 am, she reached the front door. 

Do I knock? Do I just unlock the door? What do I do? Y’know what? I’m just gonna unlock the door.

Gwyn dropped the tent bag and began to turn her key in the door lock. She quietly opened the door to see her father sitting at the table in complete disappointment. He didn’t even look like the father Gwyn had once known. 

“...Dad…?”

“Why won’t she come back home? I didn’t raise her this way”

“Dad, do you ever realize that people are different? You can't treat someone the way you treated Gwyn and expect them to change.”

“Is she going to come back home if I change?”

She woke up in her tent in the abandoned parking lot, realizing it had been another dream. She unzipped her tent and crawled outside. It had just rained, so the ground was still wet, reflecting the streetlights on the cement. She walked past the now-abandoned shopping center, past the dark alley, and turned down the street. She walked up the three steps and knocked on the door.

“They’re gone, Gwyn. They moved on. It’s time you did too. Do you want some food? We just had dinner.”

The voice was familiar, as she had already heard it a thousand times.

Gwyn tuned them out after the first two words. Her dad never looked for her, her sister and her mother were never the same, and her room lay untouched by her family for years. She did not know whether her sister was searching for her, but sometimes she saw her rushing by, disappearing the moment she blinked again. She went back to her tent, the thicket of bushes slowly growing back their leaves.

“Another Christmas spent alone.”

She mumbled to herself as she stared at the gift bag slowly falling apart next to her front door.