Nor Can I

“I can’t sleep.”

Liam twisted over, staring the vampire dead in the eyes. His eyebrow twitched upwards. “And you’re just figuring this out now?”

Rowan scoffed, shoving Liam’s shoulder as he leaned over the couch. “I haven’t been… like this for very long,” he huffed, glancing once at the full moon. Liam cracked a smile. He sat up, wrapping the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Rowan liked to keep it unbearably cold, but at some point Liam had grown accustomed to it.

“What, only a couple eons?”

Rowan grinned, fangs peeking over his lip as he came around to settle on the couch, swiping Liam’s legs aside. Moonlight cascaded over the two of them, casting the room in sharp relief.

“Sure,” he chuckled, folding his hands behind his head. As his smile faded his voice grew quiet. “But it never mattered before.” Liam tilted his head, resting his chin in his hand contemplatively. 

“And why’s it matter now?” Liam murmured, turning to muffle a yawn into his palm. Rowan glanced towards him, something indiscernible in his eyes. They’d turned a rosy pink, lit by the argent luminescence of the stars. His hand settled somewhere on Liam’s back, a smile brushing over his face. 

“Because you’re here.” 

Liam paused, heart thudding, then promptly threw the throw pillow he’d been clutching to his chest towards Rowan, who sputtered at the attack. Liam stretched his arms over his head, turning away to hide his smile. 

“Fine.” He stood from the couch, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as he looked back at Rowan. “I’ll stay up with you, but only if you stop being sappy.” 

Rowan smiled slyly, but shrugged, getting to his feet. 

“As you wish.” He gave Liam an exaggerated bow, which was rewarded with a blanket to the face. 

Liam followed Rowan down the hall, plush carpet and sconces and all those marks of finery littering their surroundings. It’d rendered Liam dumbstruck as he’d first set foot inside, and to this day he could help but trail his fingers along the smoothly carved wood as he passed. 

His hand curled around the brass knob at the top of the stairwell, and he hoisted himself onto the polished wood banister, shooting a fleeting glance over his shoulder. Rowan’s eyes widened, and Liam grinned. He set himself in motion, his blanket flying out behind him. The first time he’d slid down Rowan’s banister he’d been no more than twelve, never one for thinking things through. He remembered it, the way he’d nearly toppled right over the edge. He’d righted himself, taking in a shaky breath as he reached the end and climbed down.  

No more of that, Liam had vowed. But he tried the next day, and the next, until the motion was as easy as breathing. 

Rowan met him at the bottom, shaking his head. 

“You’re going to get hurt one of these days.” he murmured. Liam only shrugged, a smile brushing over his features. 

“Ah, but what’s life without a bit of risk?” Liam crossed his arms, leaning against the banister with an easy grin. “Besides, if I do get hurt, I know a certain vampire who might owe me a favor or two.” Rowan rolled his eyes, unable to hide the ghost of a smile. 

“Just don’t count on me to cover your bruises every time you try to defy gravity.” Rowan chuckled, grabbing the blanket and pulling Liam closer. The corner of Liam’s lip twitched upwards. 

“I’ll have you know gravity and I work very well together,” he said, pulling his blanket out of Rowan’s grasp. Rowan scoffed, teeth flashing in a grin. Liam gestured towards the darkened hallways of the castle. “Shall we?” Rowan’s eyes lit up, and he reached out, his hand hovering as if to take Liam’s arm, then dropping back to his side.  

“We shall.”

The hours passed by like seconds. Rowan and Liam walked through the castle, voices lowered, steps almost silent. The two moved like ghosts, slipping through room after room, flitting through doorways. It felt like uncovering a puzzle, like each new nook was a piece of a picture Liam could stow away and keep. And Rowan responded to his enthusiasm in kind, offering an indulgent smile as he uncovered a secret doorway or a hidden hall. Watching Rowan show off made Liam feel a quiet sort of joy, a warmth deep in his chest that made the chill of Rowan’s ice-cold hands inconsequential. Through the silver-lined glass of one of the windows, Liam gazed up, spotting the spire of a tower facing the east. 

“And there?” he cut Rowan off, pointing towards the fixture. Rowan’s eyes drifted towards it. 

“I was saving that one,” he said quietly. “You can see everything from up there.” Liam stared towards the glittering stone for a moment, taking a step back. His stance settled, and he let out a steadying breath.

“Race you.”

“Wh—”

Liam tore through the halls, sock-covered feet sliding as he skirted corners and kicked up the rug in his wake. His steps beat a frantic rhythm against the stairs as he climbed them, each one stirring up dust that shone burnished orange in the torchlight.  

Rowan jolted, startled, before racing after him. 

A laugh bubbled up in Liam’s chest, thrilled by the cold sting of the air as the night seeped in through the open window. He let it burst free, swinging himself around another corner, climbing another flight of stairs, before finally reaching the top. The tower soared high above the rest of the place, and from it the world unfurled outwards. Liam paused, leaning against the wall to catch his breath. He stepped out onto the balcony, breathless once again at the view. 

Liam leaned against the stone railing, tracing the carvings with his fingers. The night had turned bitterly cold, and the blanket hung forlornly over his shoulders. The moon had ducked below the tree line, sending the sky into an almost perfect darkness. Rowan stood next to him, still out of breath. 

“I win,” Liam hummed as an afterthought, looking down at the vast expanse of water surrounding them. Still as glass, the meager light from the stars above seemed to be multiplying, like each one was being dropped gently into the sea, sinking deep into the waves. There was a serenity to the world at this hour, the wind gently tugging at his hair. He let out a breath. Rowan leaned over the balcony, shooting a fleeting glare at Liam. A smile was tugging at his lips though, and Liam didn’t miss it. 

“Only because I let you.”  Rowan's voice, soft as it was, sounded too loud against the night.

Liam nudged Rowan in the side, moving closer as they looked up at the stars. Rowan’s hand settled against his back. He didn’t move away. In the ensuing silence, Rowan let out a sigh, leaning his head against Liam’s neck. Liam tried not to stiffen. Failed. Rowan noticed and began to pull away. Liam gently shook his head. Rowan was silent for a very long moment.

“I’ve been thinking,” Liam finally said, shattering the quiet. 

“That’s dangerous,” Rowan murmured. Liam swallowed, too deep in thought to scoff.

“You never sleep, right?” Liam muttered.

Rowan nodded, sighing against the skin of Liam's neck. The semi-darkness suddenly had an electricity to it, a pull. Liam's heart felt like it would burst free from its cage.

He was never one for thinking things through.

Liam reached behind Rowan’s head, letting out a breath. With a sharp jerk, Rowan’s teeth scraped, then broke the skin of his neck, sending a sharp flare of pain through his system.

Rowan gasped as Liam's fingers slackened, stumbling back to press himself against the railing. The night was still deathly quiet, but everything was sharpening, brightening. Dizziness rushed over him, stars cascading down into the water below. The faintest vestiges of pink had begun to seep into the sky—maybe just the colors speckling his vision.

Rowan pulled back, Liam's blood dripping from his mouth. Scarlet tracked down his chin, soaking into his collar. His eyes were wide with shock, flaring with an emotion Liam was a tad too delirious to place.

"Why did you..." Rowan began, swallowing thickly. A glazed look came over his eyes. His fingers tightened against the railing, knuckles growing white against already pale skin. Liam held himself up by his forearms, leaning slightly over Rowan with a drunken smile.

"There." Liam murmured, feeling blood trickle down his collarbone. "Now I can't sleep either."