Elysium Forever

January 6, 2013

Dear Diary,

My therapist thinks writing things here will help me cope with everything going on. So here is an introduction to me. My chosen name is Alex. I am fifteen years old and I am living a huge lie. My mom thinks I'm still her little girl, but I'm not. I'm a boy but I can't tell her or anybody else. Except Miss Laney. Miss Laney is my therapist. She thinks this will help me keep track of how I feel. Right now I feel scared and nervous. 

August 23, 2016

Dear Diary,

I moved into my college dorm today. I convinced my parents to let me do it by myself. The campus let me move into the boys dorm with another trans guy, Jesse. He seems like a great guy. He brought his XBox and we spent the afternoon playing video games. I think this is going to be a great year. 

June 17, 2017

Dear Diary,

Today is one of the most exciting days of my life. I came out to my parents. They don't want me around anymore but that's okay. I moved in with Jesse and I gave myself my first testosterone shot. I'm excited for this chapter in my life. I've learned a lot over the past year. Miss Laney and I both agree that my parents being out of my life is the best thing for me right now. Jesse is my family now. 

January 8, 2020

Dear Diary,

Today I hit a big milestone in my life. I am officially Alexander James Carson! I never thought this day would come. If I could go back in time and tell my fifteen year old self that at age twenty-two I would be living my life as the man I always knew I was, I wouldn't believe it. I never thought that I could be this happy in life. Living as my true self, I feel free.

May 26, 2020

Dear Diary,

I graduated with my bachelor's in Linguistics and Theatre. In the fall, I start a new journey as a highschool teacher in San Francisco. I'm moving into a whole new chapter in my life. I've found an apartment and have the movers ready, along with my plane ticket. Jesse and I are going to a nightclub later to celebrate us moving on into different places. He's been my family through all of this, and I'm going to miss him but I am also very excited about this next chapter in my life.

August 15, 2020

Dear Diary,

I started my first day as a teacher today. Teaching both speech and theatre is a lot but I love my students already. I have forensics first thing followed by two freshman speech classes in the morning, two after lunch and a theatre class at the end of the day. All great kids, excited to learn. This is going to be a great year, I can feel it.

November 6, 2020

Dear Diary,

My forensic students just brought home their first trophies. Two first place debate trophies, a first and second place prose trophies, and a third place duet improv trophy. I couldn't be prouder of my students. They've all come a long way since the beginning of the year. Three of my students are going on to compete in state this year. 

January 3, 2021

Dear Diary,

I just went on my first date since high school. It was with my colleague, the senior AP calculus teacher. Her name is June. She's two years older than I am with the most adorable three year old boy, Jake. We went for dinner and took him to the park.

June 25, 2024

Dear Diary,

This is June. Alex couldn't write today because he's a little loopy from surgery. I know he would want this to be documented so I'm writing it for him. He's just had his top surgery. He's in recovery doing great and he'll be in tip top shape to start the new school year in the fall. 

August 9, 2024

Dear Diary,

There's a week until school starts. My chest scars have healed great. Today I proposed to June with the help of Jake. She said yes! This is going to be an amazing school year.

August 1, 2028

Dear Diary,

Today I married the woman of my dreams. Jake was my best man. We had a traditional pagan wedding, complete with handfasting and jumping the broom. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful woman and our amazing son.

June 7, 2029

Dear Diary,

Today we adopted a 6 month old baby girl we named Anika and I got my date for bottom surgery. Life is going great. I can't believe that this is my life. 

January 4, 2030

Dear Diary,

It's June again, Alex just came out of surgery. He's doing fine. I'm glad that he's getting to be himself. I know it wasn't my place but I called his parents. I felt that they should know what they're missing out on. 

June 5, 2032

Dear Diary,

Today I met with my parents for the first time since I told them I wasn't their daughter anymore. They've come a long way and even called me their son. They had a great time with their grandson and granddaughter. They want to be part of my life now. I'm not getting my hopes up but I'm glad they want to be back in my life. I may have been upset with June for contacting them a few years ago but I'm glad she did. I needed some closure and I have that now, even if they never speak with me again after this.

June 6, 2044

Dear Diary,

This is Anika. My mom gave this journal to me for my 15th birthday. It's been six years since my dad was shot and killed in a GSA group shootout. Mom thinks this will be good for me to help cope. I've been reading through Dad's old entries. They're all I have of him. I miss him every day. This will be my first and last entry. Whoever finds this, just know that I left this earth on my own terms to be with my father forever in Elysium.