How to Rob a Library

How to rob a libaray:

You will need:

• 1 Pickaxe
• 10 Ropes
• 1 sack
• Glue
• Petrol
• A match box
• Gun
• 1 Fry Pan
• Lots of luck

Harry was ready. Harry hated books. The plan was simple, if he robbed the library there would be no books to read. No books = No library. Even if the library wanted to buy new books they would have no place to put them. Phase 10 of the plan was to burn the library to the ground. 

The mission was ready to go…

Phase 1: Knock out any guards.

You will need: Fry Pan and 2 ropes.

The guards wouldn’t stand a chance, there were only 2 of them anyway. What harm could they do? The answer to that was a lot of damage. The guards had been trained in the martial arts, so if you stood in their way you were burnt toast. Good thing Harry wasn’t bread or the mission would be even more difficult. He slowly crept through the bushes, holding his fry pan in one hand and the rope in the other. Soon he sore a light getting close, a guard was coming. ‘Piece of cake’, Harry thought, this was going to be fun. DING! The Guard fell down to the floor, so he was tied to a tree. One down, one to go. Slowly Harry crept out of the bushes and looked around, where was the guard. “Hey you! Stop right there!” Called a voice from behind him, time for real fun. Harry swung the fry pan through the air, and with a thunk, it came to rest on the guards head. Thud! Time for phase 2 of the plan…

Phase 2: Disable the security cameras.

You will need: The pickaxe.

To be sure that no one found him out tomorrow Harry would have to hide a lot of evidence. Like knocking out the guards. All he had to do was smash all the cameras around him, there were about 20 of them scattered around the place. Number 1, Harry threw the pick axe through the air, bull’s eye. Number 2, it spotted him before he sore it, but no evidence remains now. Number 3, 4, 5, 6, too easy. Number 7, whoever designed this must have thought that 1-year-olds were the only criminals around. The rest were too easy to be recorded. Time for Phase 3.

Phase 3: Shoot a window on the top floor of the library.

You will need: A Gun

Harry took a deep breath, he got one shot at this, that was all. If he missed he would have to reshoot, then it would be more likely people had heard the shots and come to envicdcate. Ready, aim, fire. Bang! Smash! The shot couldn’t have been better, the window shattered instantly. Time for Phase 4.

Phase 4: Climb up the library ( Don’t do with Adult supervision.)

You will need: A Rope

Harry took a deep breath, it was time to climb. Using all of his force, he threw the rope up to the smashed window. Then he began to climb up the library. Error in the plan, it has recently rained and the building is now very slippery. There was no safety gear added to the list, a slip will result in being in a coffin. Harry was about half way up the 10 metre high building when the error came into place. He tried to take another step, he slipped and fell. Luckly, he grabbed the rope just in time so he got away with just a few scratches. ‘So much for a library being a safe place for kids’, he thought. Finally he reached the top. It was time for Phase 5.

Phase 5: Take down the librarian (The librarian will never leave it’s post, not even after hours)

You will need: Glue and the remaining rope

Harry looked around, knowing the librarian could be anywhere… Watching him. He got to work covering the floor with glue, it was going to be a sticky trap to fall into. Time to do the fun bit, make noise. One thing you should know about librarians, is they hate noise. “Shhh!” Is one of their favourite words to use. So noise would be the bait to the trap. Harry counted to 3 and then, boom! He rejected at the top of his voice, a second later he heard footsteps coming towards him. “I’m over here!” He cried, the librarian turned around and scowled. “Come here boy!” She yielded, taking a step forward. Squelch! She soon found herself glued to the floor. Now it was time to tie her up, just for to fun of it. Time for Phase 6.

Phase 6: rob the books.

You will need: A sack.

Harry did that immediately, so I won’t record that.

Phase 7: Get ready to set the fire.

You will need: Some of the stolen goods and Petrol.

Fun was rising in Harry’s sole, time to get ready for the fire. He walked up to the tied librarian and grinned, then he ripped some of the books to shreds. Then he sprinkled them all around the room, that was just the beginning. Time for the Petrol, Harry ran around the room pouring it everywhere. The librarian looked furious, that made Harry feel a sense of achievement. 

Phase 8: Make sure the librarian won’t get killed in the fire.

You won’t need anything.

Harry walked up to the librarian, “I’m sorry miss, but I’m going to have to throw you out the window,” he said. The librarian looked furiously at him, “Did you not know that a librarian never leaves it’s post!” She screamed angrily. ‘Oh well’ thought Harry, ‘so be it’. Phase 8 has been canceled.

Phase 9: Make sure you can escape easily.

You will need: A safe place.

Harry looked around the room, he couldn’t go through the window because the rope would catch fire. He couldn’t just stay here though, he had to do something. It was then that Harry realised that there was a door to the library, so he could just escape through it. ‘To bad it can’t be a bit dramatic,’ he thought.

Phase 10: Light the fire.

You will need: The matches.

Flick! Harry struck the match, then he walked over to the Petrol. Then he set the fire. He now had just 3 minutes to escape, fire was already everywhere the eye could see. It was time for the next Phase.

Phase 11: Escape the library.

You will need: Lots of luck.

Without looking back at the screaming librarian, Harry raced down stairs. The fire chased him the whole way, it didn’t stop until Harry wasn’t out of the library. By now the building was a light in the darkness, so the firemen and police would be here.

Phase 12: Throw the sack of books in the river.

You will need: The sack of books.

Harry raced down to the cold dark river, it was time to get rid of the books. Without hesitation he threw the books into the murky depths. He smiled as he watched them go. 

Phase 13: Act innocent.

Sirens wailed as the police came to the scene, time to do the job. Harry walked right past the police, and they didn’t notice. Who would expect a kid to break into a library and murder someone anyway? 

For more information on how to do damage please go to your local library (If it hasn’t been burnt down) and find more of our ‘how to guides.’