Until you ask for a caramel macchiato

She appeared in my dreams, and since then I've been unable to sleep comfortably because I feel guilty... it could all make sense if I was a fuck boy, but the truth is I've never looked down on women, and I've always cared more about my degree in physical engineering than anything else. 

Coffee has been a must for breakfast. I head to one of my favorite places and while I wait for them to call my name I hear:

"Eve, here's your caramel macchiato"

My eyes follow Eve, whose hair matches the color of her coffee, and I feel a strange sense of familiarity.

"Mister Cesar, here's your double espresso"

I quickly head to the cashier to pick up my order when I see Eve staring at me. I feel embarrassed, she is even prettier than I was expecting, so I almost forget how to walk.

"Double espresso? How can a human drink something so sour?" - she asks.

"Caramel macchiato? How can a human drink something so sweet?"  - I reply.

"Well... I like to believe that this drink describes me the best out of all, I am pretty sweet"

"Maybe this drink also describes me the best".

"Sour and dark? Oh please, that's literally the opposite of yourself" - she says while analyzing me.

"You don't know me, miss"

"You're right, my name is Eve”.

"I'm Cesar"

I shake her hand and my head starts bringing me back to that strange dream.

The girl is screaming while tears fall down her beautiful face. I try focusing my eyes so that I can recognize who she is, and when I do, I feel like throwing up. It's Eve.

I have to find out why she’s so connected to me, maybe this is what people call destiny. I can’t let her go.

“Wanna have dinner tonight?” - I ask.

“Sure! Here’s my phone number”

Wow, did she just say yes? Did I just receive her phone number without even asking?

I take almost as much time as the Earth’s rotation period to get ready. Which is honestly quite embarrassing to admit, but I make sure to look good, smell amazing and buy her a bouquet of flowers. According to WikiHow, this will definitely work and I’ll be able to discover why she was present in my dreams, even before I met her.

“So… tell me more about yourself Cesar” - she starts.

“I am studying physics in college and I love reading books, which are the nerdiest things I could say right now” - I look away from her eyes, embarrassed and ready to hear her laugh and judge my interests.

“That’s awesome! I actually love reading as well… Since I am a cop, I tend to love books that involve crime the most. What about you?”

“Same! I am a huge fan of Agatha Christie”

“Are you joking? Me too!”

Who would've thought that a beautiful lady like her would have the same interests as a nerdy ugly man like myself.

“You’re really interesting… and pretty” - she says.

Pretty? Maybe I am pretty? No one has ever told me that before, but I trust her words so ignore what I said before about being an ugly man.

Time flies, which is actually an expression I hate using because it makes no sense.

I drive her home and before I could say anything she hugs me tightly.

Images start drowning my brain. Someone is hugging this woman while she screams in pain. She has been shot and this makes me hug her even tighter. I have to protect her, so that the same doesn’t happen in this life.

“Thank you for today, everything was perfect!” - she finally says, while distancing herself.

“I really enjoyed it as well.”

She waves me goodbye and I make sure she enters her building safely. I wander around and find myself looking for CCTV. What have I become? I feel relieved when I notice that her neighborhood is pretty safe, and then go home.

I wake up earlier than usual and catch the bus that will leave me near her home. Will this frighten her? Should I head back?

I must seem like a crazy person, since I am walking back and forth while deciding if what I am doing is weird or not.

“Cesar?” - Eve calls my name and I feel so nervous I could faint.

“Good morning Eve! Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did. What are you doing here?”

“I just visited my grandma who lives nearby and thought I would keep you company until you get to work, as my shift starts later today”

Why am I lying?

“Oh that’s really nice of you! Let’s go then, the bus is coming.”

I follow her and we both get into the bus. There’s so many people in here that the atmosphere is hot and stuffy. So much condensation.

We go to an area that has ceiling supports that we can hold onto, but I quickly realize that Eve is too short to reach them. I grab onto one of the supports and find myself putting my arm around her shoulder and pulling her against my chest, I hope she doesn’t hear how fast my heart is beating.

“As a policeman, I find this action very suspicious” - she states and I panic.

“Hey, I am just trying to protect you and help you not fall”

“I know, I am just kidding”

We both laugh and I hold her tighter. Her hair smells so nice, and her shorter figure makes me want to be like this forever.

Days go by and everything seems to go well, until my eyes meet her again. Don’t get me wrong, I love her company but her presence really does something to me.

She is wearing a pink linen dress, which is not the most ideal garment according to my wind and gravity speed calculations.

I lean against a wall beside me and cover my head with my hands, what a horrible headache.

“Are you ok? Wait here, I will be back”

I recognize Eve’s voice.

She comes back with some pills and gives them to me, while explaining which ones I should take now and which ones I should take later.

“Thank you, I don’t know what’s wrong with me”

“I know this question might make no sense, but are you also having strange dreams lately?” -  she asks

“How did you know?”

“I had a feeling, because I am sure that we have met before”

“What? When?”

“In our past lives…”

I tremble as I remember the panic in her voice, the blood in her hands and a sense of unbearable guilt. Did she die in front of me? Was I not able to help her and now I feel like I have to protect her from everything and everyone? This mystery is killing me inside.

It seems like both of us are stuck in our thoughts, but I break the silence:

“There’s something that has been bothering me a lot and that I have to tell you”

“What?”

“Remember when I was in front of your house and told you that it was because I had visited my grandma who lived nearby?”

“Yes?”

“Well it was a lie… I just wanted to see you and make sure you got to work safely. I am so sorry I lied, my mother always told me that lies are the worst. I want you to know that I regret lying to you, a lot!”

I avoid her eyes, but she grabs my chin and moves my head so that we can look into each other.

To my surprise, she laughs and then kisses me and I can't help but smile.

She stops, then looks at me again and starts passionately kissing me.

Falling asleep became a challenge again. I grab my phone and notice that Eve has sent me a message.

“Meet me at XXXX” 

I am quick to leave the house and meet her there. I can’t wait to finally make her happy, it seemed like she suffered a lot in her past life and I feel like I am the only one who will be able to help her this time.

To my surprise she arrives late, silently and puts a knife on my neck.

“What are you doing?” - I yell

“I could see everything when you kissed me” - she’s crying.

“See what?”

“Your sour and black side”

I remain silent. What does that mean?

“You were the one who killed me. An innocent woman, who fell in love with the wrong guy”

My jaw drops. That’s why she was so persistent to show up in my dreams, that’s why I always saw her with blood and screaming at me. I was so scared that something bad would happen to her, and insisted in protecting her from someone... like me.

I swallow hard and ask her one more question:

“If you realized who I was when you kissed me, why did you kiss me again?”

“I still love you and I wanted to know why you did that, so maybe if I kissed you a little longer, I would get the response I wanted”

“And did you discover why I did it?”

She pauses for like 3 seconds, which seemed like an eternity. My hands are shaking and sweaty.

“I'm not sure, but it seemed like I had a lover, you discovered and instead of killing him, you killed me by mistake”

I start shaking and my brain brings me back to that weird dream.

I pull the trigger, in hope I kill that stupid who decided to mess up my marriage, but for my surprise she runs to his arms and the bullet hits her. All I wanted to do was help her, I did this so that we could be happy forever, but it ended up making everything worse. 

Guilt swallows my soul and I feel like my life has no meaning, there’s no reason why I should remain here. Not without her.

I should disappear and hopefully we will return to this world by the same time, and we will finally be able to love each other properly.

The dream ends with my apologies to her, and only her, and then I get back to myself.

“Cesar, are you hearing me?”

“Yes”

“Did you remember anything else?” - she asks.

“I know nothing will change what I did, however I ended my life by the same time I killed you so that we could meet again, in this lifetime and start again”

She starts distancing the knife from my neck, but I place her hand against my neck again. What I did has no excuse, I should be punished. Not by the law, not by my family, but by her.

I wipe the tears off her face and say:

"It's okay, maybe in our next life we'll meet again, and this time we'll be even"

“Promise me next time we meet, you’ll ask for a caramel macchiato as well, so that I can recognize you as the sweet reincarnation”

“I promise”

She sobs and I see her hands shaking, I place my right hand over the one holding the knife and jab it into my neck, releasing a moan.

The last thing I hear is her screaming “NO NO”.

I find myself smiling, excited about what the future holds.

May we meet again, in the best versions of ourselves. Please.