Argument a story made by me

Written in response to: Write a story about someone who takes a joke way too far.... view prompt

6 comments

Sad Gay High School

diego.”said arturo

diego stopped using his phone and looked at arturo*

what r u doing here arent u suppost to be with ur girlfriend!???” said diego

look diego i wanted to say I’m sorry abt yesterday.”said arturo

diego got up his bed and stood *

ur sorry u pushed me in front of ur friends u kissed andrea and u said mean stuff and u came here to say sorry.”said diego

yes.”said arturo

look ik one of ur friends told u this so u can tell me huh.” said diego

no.” said arturo

arturo stop lying just say they did stop protecting them.” said diego

i am not.”said arturo

YES U R U KNOW WHAT I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS!!!!!!!” said diego

what???” said arturo

U HEARD ME LEAVE I NEVER WANNA SEE U AGAIN!!!!”said diego

diego.”said arturo

LEAVE!!!!!” said diego

*arturo walked out from diegos room and walked downstairs and opened the front door and closed it and left home diego walked back to his bed and sat down and started to cry*

diego.” said his brother emi

diego wiped his tears and stopped crying*

yeah????” said diego

r u ok???” said emi

yeah.”said diego

emi brother walked to diegos bed and sat down nexts to him*

diego ik something is wrong tell me.”said emi

ok u know arturo???”said diego

yeah.”said arturo

i ended up my friendship with him.cried diego

why???” said emi

because i told him my feelings yesterday and he pushed me and i also ended up my friendship with him because he says mean stuff to me and kissed andrea.”cried diego

emi hugged diego*

i am so sorry.”said emi

its ok.”cried diego

but that doesnt mean u have to cry for a boy theres alot of boys not just him u can find a better one.”said emi

do u really think so???” said diego

yeah.”said emi

*when emi said that diego stopped crying diegos brother finish hugging diego and looked at him*

everything is gonna be ok just forget abt him im glad u ended up ur friendship with him.”said emi

ty.”said diego

np lets go to bed for school tomorrow.”said emi

ok.”said diego

*diegos brother got up his bed and walked out to his brothers room and walked to his room Diego got up his bed and walked to the light switch from his room Diego turned off the light and walked to his bed and lied down his bed and covered himself and fell asleep*

*the nexts day Diego and his brother arrived to school emi walked to class Diego walked to the boys bathroom Diego sat on the floor nexts to the sink from the boys bathroom a boy got out a stall and walked to the sink And washed his hands a boy saw Diego sitting in the floor the boy walked to him*

hey r u ok???” said the boy

yeah.”said diego

look ik u don’t know me but ik something is wrong please tell me.”said the boy

ok.”said Diego

the boy sat nexts to diego*

so I had this friend I ended up my friendship with him I ended up my friendship with him bcz he did some mean stuff to me.”said Diego

i am so sorry that boy was so mean u don’t deserve that.”said the boy

thanks.”said diego

np I’m nick.”said the boy

im Diego.”said Diego

nice to meet u Diego.”said nick

nice to meet u to.”said Diego

Diego do u wanna be friends???”said nick

sure.” said Diego

yay now we’re friends.” said nick

yup.”said Diego

i have to go to class u also have to go to class.”said nick

ok.”said diego

bye.”said nick

bye.”said diego

*nick got up where he was sitting and walked out the boys bathroom to class *

diego took out his phone from his backpack and turned it on and went to the photo app and deleted all the photos he took with Arturo Diego went to the texts app and deleted Diego like a friend*

i think my brother is right I don’t have to cry or be sad for a boy ima go to class said diego*

*diego put his phone inside his backpack and closed it and put it on diego got up where he was sitting and walked out from the boys bathroom to class*

to Be continued……





April 16, 2024 23:42

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6 comments

21:53 May 05, 2024

I also enjoy Stranger Things and my kids do too. I agree with what Trudi said as well. What I did like; your instinctive new speaker, new line. Thats what Trudi meant by don't change it. And it was brief and to the point which is more like natural conversation. Add the punctuation. " " Yet when you pull it apart, your dialogue itself conveyed the direction of the story! English is your second language? So, writing about something you are interested in is great. Run your writing through the free part of Grammarly. There are other sites with...

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Giovanna Ramirez
01:55 May 30, 2024

Hi, Kaitlyn! Your advice here was more than enough. It wasn't for me and even I appreciate it! Hopefully Mariana is able to apply this to future projects.

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23:50 May 30, 2024

LOL. Thanks for reading, I think.

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Mary Bendickson
20:55 Apr 24, 2024

Happy birthday, Mariana! Hope you are enjoying your sweet sixteenth!🥳 Trudy just said all things I was trying to express to you. Great advice. Have fun and still thank your mom because she loves you. Maybe she couldn't do anything but remember what you mean to her. Sometimes it is hard watching your babies grow up and not need you as much.

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Trudy Jas
11:45 Apr 17, 2024

Hey, Mariana. You have a wonderful imagination. And obviously a great feel for teen dialogue. Your flow is excellent and keeps the reader wanting more.  I don't know if you want feedback on your work. But being the busybody that I am, I'll give it to you anyway. :-) 1. Don't chance a thing in the dialogue content. but: Add punctuation and use whole words. - Dude (comma) you are out of your mind! Lucas said. 2. Avoid run-on paragraphs. - Lucas ignored Mike and left the house. He took his bike to go look for Will. Dustin followed Lucas. 3....

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Giovanna Ramirez
01:52 May 30, 2024

I agree with Trudy here. Colloquial communication that is used in texting stays in that area. Proper grammar not only helps the reader gain more understanding of the story but pushes the writer to improve. Run-on sentences and paragraphs in stories could work against you, it tires the reader. Commas, semicolons, apostrophes, punctuation, etc. are super important in storytelling. Practice the usage of proper grammar and spelling.

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