Love Me Once Forget Me Twice by MJ Palladino

Look at how its petals glitter in the sunlight. Look at how it raises its leafy arms in the air. Look at how, even though it’s different from my other plants, it is still just as beautiful.

I was thinking about these things as I studied my succulent from outside. It was looking back at me through the window, seeming to be smiling. Meanwhile, I was wondering if that window is a good spot for this creature, for I was a self-proclaimed interior design specialist. My mind was busy brainstorming, I didn’t even notice that someone else was admiring my plant next to me.

“It looks nice in that window.” She complimented it, but I didn’t hear her. However, I did process that someone said something, so I responded.

“What did somebody say?”

“I said that the plant looked nice in that window.” She repeated.

“Oh really? I was thinking that it might look tacky there.” I mentioned.

“It looks great.” She said once again.

“Are you into interior design?” I asked.

“No, I just have common sense.” She replied. “But I do a lot of things downtown.”

“Cool.” I answered. “Perhaps I’ll go down there one of these days.”

“And if you do, I’ll most likely be there.” She said. “I’m Caroline.”

“I’m Andy.” I replied. “See you around.”

She nodded at me before leaving. She’s nice, I thought to myself. I don’t usually meet a lot of people who share my interests. It never bothered me much, but I still thought that it would be neat to find somebody who did like furniture and wall paint. Overall, it was cool talking to her, and now I am going to ponder it while I paint the walls of my dining room.

It turns out I couldn’t paint my dining room walls. Why? Because I have no more Benjamin Moore™ First Light pink. I had to put ‘Go to Benjamin Moore™ to buy First Light pink’ on Wednesday’s to-do list. Wednesday came quickly, probably because yesterday was Tuesday. It was not particularly busy that day, just small handfuls of people here and there. Among these small handfuls of people, you wouldn't believe who I saw. Actually, you probably would believe it. I saw Caroline, sitting on a bench, with a book in her lap and a soda can in her hand. Of course, I greeted her.

“Hello again.” I called out. She looked up at me and smiled.

“Hi! What’s your name?”

The expression on my face turned completely neutral after hearing what she had just said. On the inside, I was mentally flipping tables.

“You… you don’t remember me?” I asked as naturally as I could.

“Can’t say I do.” Caroline replied. “Do you have me mistaken for someone else perhaps?”

“I don’t think so?” I said, “Do you have a twin I need to know about?”

“No. My only biological sibling is a boy.” She responded.

“Okay.” I mused.

She was staring at me with her round blue eyes in utter confusement. That’s when I knew she had completely forgotten me. But nothing’s wrong with starting from scratch, right?

“I’m Andy. It’s nice to meet you.”

“My name is Caroline.” She replied. “I’m sorry you couldn’t find who you were looking for.”

“That’s okay.” I said, looking down at her book. “How is it possible for you to read with all this noise?” I looked around then at all the downtown business going on.

“I prefer it like that, actually.” Caroline replied. “I can’t concentrate with no sound.”

I found that rather interesting, for it was usually vice versa with concentration.

“What brings you here?” She went on.

“I’m here to buy paint for my dining room walls,” I answered. “ Which I should probably get back to doing.”

“Alright, you get to it. I’ll be here with some friends tomorrow if you would like to come back down here.”

“Maybe,” I reckoned. “I’ll see you then?”

Caroline gave me a thumbs up, which indicated to me, ‘Sounds like a plan.’ I waved at her before running down to Benjamin’s.

Thursday. I now have my Soft Light pink paint, yet haven’t touched it. For some odd reason, I have not been motivated to paint. Maybe I’ll spark again 15 minutes before the family reunion next weekend. Yes, I have a habit of starting big projects right before guests arrive. Or maybe I should go back downtown. I did sort of promise Caroline I would go back. So I hopped into my bright blue Prius, started the engine, and headed downtown. Perhaps I should bring her flowers? Or maybe just bring myself? I think I’ll buy her a nice little house plant. Yes, that’s what I’ll do!

On a personal level, I love house plants. They’re nice and small, you hardly have to water them, and they look great year-round. So I drove down to my friend Peter’s shop to go buy one. He charged me $37, In which I stood staring at him like he had four heads for about three seconds. Then I replied, “Awesome!”. So I paid for the totally overpriced plant, and looked at the sign which screamed, ‘HOUSE PLANTS JUST $20 OR LESS!’.

I looked at Peter one more time. He gave me a sinister grin. I chuckled, left the store, and hopped back into my blue car. I strapped the plant into the chair like it was my own child. I grabbed my keys, which had tons of keychains, and started back on the road.

When I arrived downtown, I saw Caroline waiting on the sidewalk, looking at her watch impatiently while looking around for her friends. I walked up to her. “Hi you!”, I said cheerfully.

She turned around, startled. “Oh, excuse me sir”, she looked down at the plant. “Is this a free sample? It’s oddly big to be free.” She asked. “Are you some sort of salesman?”.

Once again, she had forgotten me. My face went blank. My cheerfulness became gloomy. “No, I’m not a salesman. You don’t remember me, do you?” I asked.

“Um, no. I don’t remember you. Remind me where we possibly met?” She said.

“Nevermind, it’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. How come she couldn’t remember me?

Does she choose to forget? Is there something wrong with me? No, that can’t be it. Maybe she has some sort of disorder? I realized I've been staring for a while.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners?” I tried to act casual, like I haven't seen her before. “My name is Andy.” I put on a fake smile.

Caroline smiled a tiny little smile, inched further away from me, and replied,

“I’m Caroline. What brings you down here?”

“Well, I was waiting for a friend. But it turns out, she won’t be coming.”

I looked down at the plant. And I looked back up to her blue eyes.

“Oh, that’s too bad. I’m supposed to meet friends too, but I can’t seem to find them.”

“Better late than never.” I mused.

Caroline tilted her head in agreement. “I don’t think they’re coming. I think I’m going to go home.”

“Me too.” I said, “Catch you later?”

“Next weekend, I’ll be here.” Caroline responded. “Maybe we’ll cross paths then.”

We did cross paths then. But same results. She forgets. She forgot the next time too. And the next time. It has been almost two months now and still nothing. You might ask, Why her? Why must you go after someone who doesn’t even remember you, Andy?

Because It is worth it. Even if I have to start from scratch every single day, it will still be worth it. I have met her over thirty different times now, and every one of them is wildly different. But strange as it is, today we are simply meeting at a coffee shop. I know she won’t remember me, but I don’t care anymore. Upon arriving at the café, The wildest thing happened. I practically had a heart attack and died right there. Caroline was waving at me and calling my name. Could it be? Does she finally remember me? I think she does! I ran to her table.

“Caroline?” I sputtered out.

“Yes, who else could it be?” She looked at me with her eyebrow raised.

My eyes widened. I pinched myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Sure enough I felt the pain. This wasn’t a dream. I sat down in the chair beside her.

“How are you?” Caroline said casually. All I could do was sit and stare.

“I’m much better now that you remember.” I whispered.

“Excuse me? I didn’t hear you”, Caroline said.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I tried to act normal, but after a while I tried to remind her of the many times we have met before. Unfortunately, she didn't remember any of them except for yesterday and today. And over the course of many years, we did eventually get married and start a family. One day my son asked how I met my wife, I responded: “A beauty pageant.”

He never believes me, probably because I had previously said I met her in a wrestling tournament. But let me tell you that every one of those outlandish stories are true, but I will forever treasure these few days:

When we actually met in the beginning,

The day at the coffee shop,

And the day we got married and settled into our home. I finally gave her the plant I bought her many years ago and she put it in the window right next to my succulent. The two plants sit there in the window where we met. Where my little adventure began.