The Lightbringer

He looked down at his hands, which were quickly turning a bright shade of orange. He tried to calm himself, just like mother had taught. Open your pores slowly, let them remain for some seconds, then close them slowly. Repeat. Open, wait, close. Repeat. It worked. His typical shade of turquoise was returning. Very slightly relieved, he looked up at the podium again, his main eyes fixed on the Luminarch, who was staring right back at him. “Doruek,” said the Luminarch, “please approach.” With trembling steps, Doruek walked to the front, stopping in front of the podium. They looked at each other, and he thought that the Luminarch seemed almost confused or perhaps simply annoyed. The Luminarch looked out across the low-ceilinged, mossy cave that was the Atrium. “My dearest people, my heart and my being.” he began, “My everything. Today, new light has sprung forth among us. Today, we are granted prosperity. Today, we are given survival. Today,” he emphasized this part, “The Great Illuminator has bestowed to us a new Lightbringer!”

The ceremony ended much, much later, after, so thought Doruek, the longest and dullest speech known to any mifazil. He was to be a Lightbringer. While it was a surprise to be called upon by The Great Illuminator itself, he had always had a nagging suspicion that he would be called. He had thought so not because of anything save the anxieties and fears of a child who knows of such a possibility and perhaps because of the knowledge that, were he to be chosen, he would never see his family again. But even so, he had always been ready to obey. Ready to assume his duties to the light. Ready to serve. No one knew what a Lightbringer’s duties consisted of except that at the end of the initiation process, Lightbringers would become one with The Great Illuminator, ensuring light and survival to all of the mifazil. It is the highest honor a mifazil can receive. Doruek was to report at the Sacred Sanctuary at the end of dark span, two days from now. That gave him one full cycle to say his goodbyes, after which he would begin his initiation as a Lightbringer, a most holy ritual that could only be observed by those on whom the favor of The Great Illuminator rested. That is, any of the Luminaries, Lightbringers, or the Luminarch itself. As such, Doruek must, two cycles from now, forever abandon his daily life in service to the light.

* * *

It is said that only the favored can walk the Path of Dark leading to the Sacred Sanctuary. Therefore, Doruek now had nothing to fear in walking it. Yet even so, the thought of walking down those hundreds of weathered, narrow steps into that spiky, pitch-black cave floor frightened him some. He twitched nervously, and Hlafeh looked at him. “I wonder if one of the Luminaries will come to lead me?” he said to no one in particular. Father looked stern suddenly. “Of course, you should not expect so.” he croaked,” This must be the first test to pass, I am sure. Remember, ‘Find the Illuminator,’ say the scribes, and it is like this always.” “Find the Illuminator” replied Doruek, steeling himself by this, calming his fears. “Find the Illuminator.” echoed Hlafeh silently. “And let the Illuminator find you.” they said in unison. Mother was crying in the kitchen.

* * *

By the time he got to the bottom, the first steps down the Path of Dark, which he had thought so narrow, seemed exceedingly broad by comparison. Only the tip of his claw fit on the last step, and he stumbled, falling into that deep, damp, echoing pit he had noticed from far above. Catching his balance at the very last second, he managed to stay up and shimmy around the side of the pit to stand on firm, wet bedrock at the very edge of the light from above. The way forward lay in total darkness. He closed his peripheral eyes, as always when he prayed. “O, Great Illuminator. Guide me now. Lead me to your bosom. I commend myself to the light.” And at once, when he opened his peripheral eyes, there it was. A glimmer. The faintest blue shimmer in the distance. He kneeled quickly, thanking for guidance. He knew the way he must go.

* * *

Four silent Luminaries had come to collect him at the entrance to the Sacred Sanctuary. A shimmer from the Great Illuminator had led him here. He knew now that he was favored. His head was lifted high as they led him further into the Sanctuary. Eventually, they rounded a corner, and Doruek covered his eyes, shielding himself from the bright assault. Before him was the brightest cave he had ever seen. It was brimming; the place was so bright that he could not comprehend how to take it in. In all his years in the caves, he had always relied on his peripherals to guide him. In here, his main eyes sufficed for the first time ever. In the middle of this cave, on a circular white dais, stood the Luminarch in all its splendor. “Lightbringer!” it boomed at the sight of Doruek. “You are to begin your sanctification at once. We are much in need of your service. Come, I will lead you to your instruction.”

* * *

The instruction chamber was a small nook with a table and chair off to the side of the bright cave. The Luminarch had brought him there, ordering him to read the text on the table before leaving. “Pain and Light” was its title, no author. It told of the inexplicable connection between pain management and inner illumination. “It is known,” so went the first chapter, “that light can be stored only by completely controlling one’s pain receptors. The Great Illuminator seeks to dwell only there where there is no pain experienced. This is an important distinction, for pain must be exerted upon the favored, yet not experienced. Only through this devotion may the favored receive exaltation. This holiest of texts will teach you the very secrets of pain ignorance.

To begin with, however, allow the Luminary behind you to exert first pain.” Doruek turned his head just in time to notice the Luminary standing behind him before a blinding jolt of pain shot throughout his entire body. He felt his grip on the world disappear as he slumped over the text.

* * *

“Have I lost its favor?” he exclaimed loudly as soon as he woke. A voice in the room laughed softly. “No, Lightbringer. You cannot, as you should well know, lose favor. But, you can fail to gain exaltation. However, you performed as well as any Lightbringer before you. First pain almost always leads to total collapse. Subsequent pain will be significantly milder, as it builds to the crescendo that is your exaltation, at which point you will successfully be able to ignore pain of a threshold equal to, or even greater than, first pain. You will feel nothing but the waves of light from the Great Illuminator itself, as it fills you with its presence.” Doruek sat up, only now realizing he was lying down. “Are you ready to continue?” asked the voice as the Luminarch came into view. “I am.” he replied.

* * *

Doruek could not keep track of time in the Sanctuary. He thought maybe it had been ten cycles since he got here, but he did not know. None of the Luminaries ever replied to his questions, and the Luminarch presented itself only to evaluate the progress of his instruction. He was progressing, he thought, but the Luminarch seemed hurried, constantly increasing his pain. He received pain thrice a day at random times. He would be studying the texts, practicing their methods internally, when a Luminary would appear silently, invoking tremendous pain. He was starting to loathe the Luminaries. Every time, he prayed to the Great Illuminator for relief, and every time, he received some. It got easier; it really did. He prayed now as his insides burned with pain. An image of Mother swam before his eyes. It really did get easier, he told himself.

* * *

“Today, you advance in your instruction.” boomed the Luminarch from his dais. “Although it is indeed true that light can only fill that which perseveres entirely, it is too simple to leave it at only pain ignorance. Its light can only fill that which is entirely passive in perseverance. As such, it is imperative to any Lightbringer’s exaltation that they be entirely immobile, in body as well as mind. For the remainder of your instruction, you will be bound, so that you cannot move at all. Do you understand why, Lightbringer?” Doruek did not, not entirely, but to admit this to the Luminarch, in this very time of need, would be to admit failure. “I do.” he replied solemnly.

* * *

He awoke in darkness one morning. “Do they also have dim span in the Sanctuary?” he wondered. Warily, he shuffled down the hallway, calling out softly. “Luminaries! Luminarch!” Nothing. He looked around. The lights were flickering with seconds between each flicker. They kept flickering, now picking up speed until they finally shone consistently, brightly, mesmerizingly. Doruek was enthralled for a minute before he remembered himself. He looked around. “Luminarch?” he was shouting now. Sounds of footsteps that grew nearer. He saw it now, entering the bright cave from an entrance he hadn’t seen before, far in the one corner. The Luminarch, in all its majesty, seemingly glowing from within. “Lightbringer! Did you sense that? Did you feel the darkness pressing on?” It was close now, standing directly in front of Doruek, peering at him intently. “It is for this purpose the Great Illuminator called you. To save the mifazil. The darkness attempts to swallow us always, but only through the favor of the Illuminator and the exaltation of its Lightbringers, may we keep it at bay!” It shook Doruek by the shoulders. “Do you finally feel it, feel it here around you? The Illuminator is here. It is time now, Lightbringer, for your exaltation. You will become one with light; light will become you. You are prepared to face it passively, to receive the light as it washes over your being. To be one with the Illuminator itself.”

* * *

The exaltation chamber was circular and small, with a large metal construction surrounding a central pillar. Small lights on it blinked in different colors. Red, green, yellow. Doruek was awestruck. “This, Lightbringer, is the merging vessel. Through it, you will be opened to the reception of light so that you may be filled with it, propagate it, and shine it over all of the mifazil. Your union will become life to many.” Doruek wondered quietly and quickly what he would do after the union. Would he be floating near the cave ceiling, exuding light for all? No, he did not think so, not really. The Luminarch directed Doruek to the metal construction, pushing something aside and revealing a small recess in the vessel. It indicated that Doruek should step through. He did, and there was just enough room in the recess for Doruek to fit. The Luminarch strapped him in like he was used to from instruction. “You are ready. We commend you to the light, Lightbringer.” It looked him directly in the main eyes. “Whatever you do, do not collapse. Let the union complete. The mifazil depend on you, Lightbringer. Do not collapse.”

He was ready, even if he did not feel it. He was ready. The Luminarch had said so, and besides, the Luminarch would have never initiated the exaltation if he was not ready. He was ready. A thin metal rod approached his skin and penetrated it suddenly. It hurt only a little. Doruek twitched, but only because he did not expect it. He was ready for the pain now. He had gone through the initiation. Outside, the Luminarch seemed to be praying to the vessel, gently prodding it. Well, praying to the Great Illuminator, of course, thought Doruek bemusedly. He was ready. He prayed to the Great Illuminator to fill him quickly. The loudest bang and then glorious light filled the chamber.

The Lightbringer felt nothing. Nothing but endless pain as it burned bright in that luminous cave, becoming simply light.