For better or For Worse

“Beep… beep… beep…” it continued. Not only the sound of the beeping but being back in a hospital. Five years ago today I beat my cancer, one year ago I found Finn, or at least Finn found me. That’s the one thing that stayed the same. He laid on the bed next to me, he seemed less playful than usual. Ever since he showed up on the porch he had been happy, always wagging his tail. 

The doctor walked in, clipboard in hand, and pain in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she looked down “The tests came back positive.”

I closed my eyes and sunk into the bed. My parents looked at each other, and Evelie just looked down. My parents worrying about me is one of the last things either of us needed. I was diagnosed at seventeen I was diagnosed with cancer but beat it, only to get it again again. All I knew was that this had to be some part of God’s plan, somehow.

(one year earlier)

“Please… I have to get a dog!” I begged. 

“And why is that Trent? John, help me. Tell him he doesn’t need a dog.” Mom asked. Dad looked up from his newspaper, shook his head, and looked back down

“Fine Aubrey. Why a dog, why not an animal that doesn’t shed? Or one that doesn’t make noise, and require training and attention.”

“Seriously? That’s like… no animal at all!” I said in disparity.

“The answer is no.”

Defeated, I went upstairs, waiting for my soccer practice. That was the one thing I could look forward to. Two hours passed and my parents picked up my best friend, Evelie, then we went to the field. We raced to the goals, but like usual we tied. 

“Is that a new record?” asked the coach. 

We smiled “I think so,” I said.

“Good, we need the speed when you guys play forward.”

Forward was our favorite position, but no one else liked it as much. Everlie and I both could play either offense or defense but could not play goalie. Placing our water bottles on the bench we took our position on the field, starting off with a scrimmage, dividing the team while rotating two people doing one on one. 

After practice, we dropped Everlie off and we went home. I climbed the stairs to my room and opened the laptop. I quickly typed in the password: CaNiNe_PuPpY. It was strange but original… I think. Seven tabs open, all related to dogs. Although I had certain dog breeds I wanted I would be satisfied with any. I liked big dogs better though. I wanted a chihuahua though. My aunt had a chihuahua once, it was the most unfriendly thing you could ever play with.

“Trent, dinner,” shouted mom from the kitchen. I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear her, Fridays were usually bad, it was experiment day. This one involved Brussel sprouts and beans, both were food I didn’t like. I slowly made my way down the stairs.

“How do you think they discovered potato chips. Customers were not pleased with the fries and after a few tries he came out with potato chips, and it was a hit.” said mom defending her… creation.

“Potatoes are different than Brussel sprouts and beans topped with pickles drizzled with chocolate. That’s just weird.” Dad said

“Well if you don’t like it then make something else”

I wanted to take off for the bread but thought that might be rude. I looked at Dad, he nodded and looked down. We would have to tough it out. Mom was always so proud of her creations, even if no one else like them. There was a whimper at the door that made us all stop, not that we were doing much. It whimpered again. 

“I’ll get it!” I said with excitement. I grabbed a few crackers to feed it. It was a little puppy sitting down right outside the door. I brought him in “Look! Its a puppy.”

“Put that thing back outside!” said Dad

“What if he’s hungry?”

“Once you feed a stray you basically invite it to live with you,” Dad said before turning back.

I put the dog outside and fed it some pieces of cracker. 

“I’m gonna name you Finnegan.” He wagged his tail.

Every day since I spent time with him and fed him. 

“One day, They will love you too,” I told Finn. Little did I know I had a little criminal of a puppy. He was on the news for breaking into places, even places like the hospital. By now he looked about two months old.

“Everly, you need to come over. You’ll see what it is when you come.” I said hanging up the phone after. She came over on her bike

“So what’s the big surprise?” Everly asked.

“You have to promise not to tell, I could get in a lot of trouble,” I told her.

“You? Trouble? I don’t believe it.” she said in a sarcastic tone.

“Here he is”

“Awwww! He is so cute! Where did you get him?”

“He showed up on the porch a few weeks ago and he sort of became a secret pet.”

Everly got down next to Finn and started petting him. They got along really well.

“Let’s take him to the park, I don’t want my parents to see him,” I told her. Finn didn’t walk on a leash, he didn’t need to. For a stray, he seemed well trained but never had any sign of an owner. Most people would put a found dog poster but I was waiting for a missing dog poster. I didn’t want to give him up, even if he wasn’t actually mine. One thing we never talked about was my cancer. Everyone knew it wasn’t a happy thing, how could it be? My parents were a little more cautious but treated me normally. It happened pretty slow but went down from there. It was a lot of pains and after a while, we went to the doctor and she gave us the news. But that was years ago, four I think. In about a week it will be five.

Next Saturday came around and it was our last soccer game. We were undefeated for the 4th season in a row. Not only will it be our 5th undefeated season once we win but my 5th year free from cancer. The whistle blew and the game began. I had a knot in his stomach, it hurt. He didn’t know what it was but pushed through it. After 30 minutes half time was called and we took a break on the bench. 

“You guys are doing great! Four to one and its only half time.” said the coach.

The knot grew, along with the pain. I couldn’t help but let out a cry of pain and clutch my stomach, then I fainted. Everything went black.

“Beep… beep… beep…” I woke up in a hospital bed. The noise continued. Not only the sound of the beeping but being back in a hospital. Five years ago today I beat my cancer, one year ago I found Finn, or at least Finn found me. That’s the one thing that stayed the same. He laid on the bed next to me, I wasn’t sure how he got there but my parents didn’t object. Finn seemed less playful like he knew what happened. Ever since he showed up on the porch he had been happy, always wagging his tail. 

The doctor walked in, clipboard in hand, and pain in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she looked down “The tests came back positive.”

I closed my eyes and sunk into the bed. My parents looked at each other, and Evelie just looked down. My parents worrying about me is one of the last things either of us needed. I was seventeen I was first diagnosed with cancer but beat it, only to get it again again. All I knew was that I wasn’t about to give in to it now.

“How are you doing?” Asked the doctor.

“Better, maybe. I don’t know.” I replied

“How’s the pain?” 

“It’s gone down…” that was true, but it still hurt. Thinking of everyone worrying about me made it hard, I had to push through.

“Did we win?” I asked Everly 

“Do you really want to know,” she asked.

“Do I?”

“We lost, I wanted to come with you but the hospital said it would be better if I stayed. We tried to win, for you at least but something was off.”

I looked down, I couldn’t make it to my fifth anniversary or our fifth undefeated season, both never happened. I looked over to Finnegan “you were always there for me weren’t you buddy.” I rubbed my hand on his head. “For better or worse.” I knew we would get through this, we all would, together.