Falling Feathers

Raven's mind is currently a storm of negative thoughts. The avian takes a deep breath, stretches her wings, and takes off. She closes her eyes, focusing on the feeling of the wind as it blows through her hair and feathers. There’s silence…

…But that peaceful silence is interrupted by squawking. “Heyyyy, Raven!”

When Raven opens her eyes, she sees a grackle perched on her arm “What the-”

“The name is Beacon!” The grackle straightens his form in pride. “I am your new imaginary friend.”

She stares for a bit, shocked by the talking bird. “I’m way too old to have an imaginary friend.” 

“Oh. Then I am your new therapist!” Beacon rubs his beak on her black and hot pink striped long sleeve. “You have a nice style. Scene?”

“Uhh… Yeah. Thanks for noticing. People keep calling me emo for some reason.” Raven processes everything that’s going on. “How can you talk?

“I’m an imaginary friend.”

“But I haven’t had an imaginary friend since I was eight.”

“How old are you now?”

“I’m 19. I will be 20 in a month.”

“I see. Do you know why imaginary friends exist?”

“What does that have to do with-”

“Imaginary friends are created by a child's imagination to help them socialize and to be comforted when they’re upset. You haven’t had one since you were eight. Does that mean those needs were completed?”

Raven says nothing at first. Who does this bird think he is? “No. They weren’t.”

“Then why did your imaginary friend leave?”

“Same reason as everyone else. I got bullied for having one.”

“That’s not a normal reason, at least, it shouldn’t be.”

Raven looks towards Beacon, thinking he’s joking, but he’s serious. She scoffs. “Well, it is. The world is cruel.”

“Not all of it.”

“What would you know? You’re a bird. Your life is different from mine.”

“That may be true. Tell me, is it a cruel world when you feed those crows?”

“That’s different. Star, George, Paul, and Lemon are the only ones keeping me sane.”

Beacon chuckles at the names. “And what about who they’re named after?”

“Most of them are dead.”

“That is true. What about other musical artists, or even visual artists? Is it cruel when they create for your happiness?”

“Well, no. I suppose not.”

“Exactly. There is so much to look forward to. I did mention that I’m your new therapist, though. A therapist’s job is not only sharing what there is to look forward to, but to help you move past what’s keeping you behind.”

“Oh, dear.” Raven can see where this is going.

“Now, tell me who bullied you out of an imaginary friend.”

“I am not telling you that.”

“Do it, or I’ll bite your wings.”

The avian stares with wide eyes at the grackle. What the heck? “Okay, fine. Geez. It was just some classmates. Kids are rude. That’s how they are.” Raven narrowly misses a tree.

“Did it ever get better?”

“No. Obviously not.”

“Why not? What did they do?”

“Where do I even start?” She takes a deep breath and starts venting, releasing years of bottled up emotions. “They made fun of the group that I would hang out with as a kid until everyone in the group changed schools but me. They then proceeded to call me a lonely loser. I was around 13 when I started to find my own style. I, much to my parents disapproval, started to dress in scene. I even found friendship with people who were also scene. This time, however, is when the style was dying. My new group ditched me. Whenever they saw me, they would laugh, saying; ‘It’s just a phase. Grow out of it already. You’re cringe. Can’t believe we were ever friends. Such a weirdo’-”

Beacon interrupts with a screech. “Building!”

Raven looks ahead of herself, noticing that she was zoned out while ranting. She flaps her wings with full force, managing to get over the building. “Sorry. I lost focus.”

“It’s perfectly fine. Please, continue.”

She takes a shaky deep breath. “I stopped making friends after that. People started calling me emo, just to be mean. They would yell, bark, and keep asking for a wrist check. I don’t get that last one. Why would they joke about that? That is messed up.”

Beacon nods, still listening intently.

“I personally never did that, but if I did, would they make fun of me for it?”

“What were your parents saying about the bullying?”

“I never told them. Well, I did at first, but then I stopped. They were always worrying about our financial issues. I didn’t want to give them another thing to stress over. I tried to tell the school counsellor, but he just told my parents anyway.”

“You didn’t speak to anybody about it?”

“Nobody was trustworthy, and therapy is expensive.”

“Had things at least gotten better after you graduated?” Beacon is clearly trying to stay optimistic.

“Great question. No. I don’t get paid enough while working for a corrupt company for 50 hours a week. The only bright side is that I get to dress how I like. That doesn’t stop teenagers from barking at me for dressing differently, though. I swear, teenagers never change. Someone who also never changes is my coworker who does the same thing because he’s a 30 year old teen that’s hip with the kids, yet has the audacity to tell me that I need to act my age.”

“Wow. He’s such a hypocrite.”

“I know. I tried to report it, but the company doesn’t care. They actually promoted him instead. I would quit if that wouldn’t make my family homeless. I just can’t help but feel like a burden. Maybe my family would have it better if I gave them my life support?”

“Here we go. I was waiting for that to come up.” Beacon looks solemn.

“What do you mean?” Raven then realizes. “Right. Imaginary friend. You already knew everything I just said, didn’t you?”

“I did. Don’t feel bad, though. You needed someone to vent to, so I was that person.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Just tell me why you feel this way. How would dying make things better?”

Raven hesitates. She focuses on flying, hoping that Beacon will disappear, but he’s still here. She sighs heavily. “Only because you’re imaginary.”

“Understood.” The grackle stretches his wings.

“I just feel that I’m more of a burden than I am of use. We barely make enough money despite all of us working. I’ve even cut down on the amount of food I take in. I can't keep this up. If I cut down on any more food, I’ll end up in the hospital, which will cost us more money than what we were saving. Not only that, but I’m just so sick of everyone. They’re all getting on my nerves.” The avian goes quiet for a second. “I’m getting on my parents' nerves. They hate me.”

“But they don’t, Raven.”

“Yes, they do. We started fighting over finances, and I ran away. They have to hate me, Beacon. Why wouldn’t they? I’m annoying.”

“But you know they don’t. If you come back, you know that they’ll forgive you. They’ll even be the ones to apologize. Also if you were actually annoying, why would the birds come back every day? Don’t say it’s just because you feed them. They hang out with you even when you have no food. They care. Even the new birds.”

After consideration, she nods. “I suppose you’re right. They did seem worried when I left for a day to visit some family.” Raven chuckles. “Especially that one blue jay. As soon as I came back, they screeched so loud, we got a noise complaint.”

The avian and the grackle share a laugh.

Raven takes a deep breath and smiles. “Thank you, Beacon. I can’t leave the birds behind, so I’ll continue living for them.”

“I’m glad that you have come to this conclusion. I am sorry that I’m too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Beacon’s bright yellow eyes meet Raven’s brown eyes. “You’re not an avian.”

“What do you mean? I’m flying right now.”

“No, you’re not. You’re falling. You aren’t even conscious.”

Her breath shakes as the air gets quicker. “What?..”

“Open your eyes, Raven.”

The human girl opens her eyes to see a group of birds staring in horror as the cement ground quickly approaches.