Boys

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Mercedes heaved a sigh so enormous she bent double. Or, as double as she could with her giant belly crammed inside such a tight dress. “Oh god, wow, could you be any more of a cliche?”

“Sure I could. I could tell you that your eyes look like limpid pools or ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven.”

“Gross.” She steered the car around the McDonald’s building, following a trail of cars and SUVs, each pumping gray plumes of toxic gas. She wondered vaguely if the exhaust chemicals were hurting her baby, but remembered she was about to eat fast food fishwiches which had to be at least 50% mercury. She dismissed the entire line of thinking. “What does limpid even mean, anyway?”

“I don’t know. I heard Pepe le Pew say it once.”  

“That’s some seriously cheesy stuff, man.”

“Agreed.”

“Also, Pepe is a terrible role model.”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“So which is it, the baby bump or the ballerina dress that’s doing it for you?” She straightened her hot pink bridesmaid’s dress with the fluffy sparkly pink tulle and gave an exaggerated pout. Maybe she should touch up her lipstick, she thought. If she put in the work, she could be cute, she knew. Then people would see her before the baby growing inside her. Her pout soured.

“Okay but seriously, what is with brides and their horrible taste in bridesmaid’s dresses? Are they punishing their friends?” 

Mercedes laughed. “Be nice. It’s Amy’s day. We can insult her tomorrow.” 

“Okay, okay. Anyway, thanks for taking me to Mickey D’s. Sorry, it’s just that I have the worst craving for a Filet-o-Fish.” 

“Weird, but okay.” Mercedes grabbed a napkin out of the glove compartment and blew her runny nose. Just another fun side effect that nobody told her about. She prodded her nose and wondered aloud, “Hey, what was up with the love at first sight thing? Connor and Amy’s wedding getting you all mushy?”

“Yeah a little, but more like I’m just wondering if I’ve missed something. Like, am I not looking in the right place? Did I miss my sign? There are a lot of single men at this wedding and I’d hate to have missed my chance. Honestly, I’m not sure how many more chances I'll even get before it's too late. Should we go back?”

“I doubt it. I mean, what’s the point of love anyway?” said the bridesmaid.

“Wow, jaded much?”

“No, it’s just that you're fine by y-- Yeah hi, can I get two Filet-o-Fishes, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake?” She agreed she’d pull up to the next window to pay and the car rolled forward. The guy on the speaker sounded nice.

“Thanks again.”

“You said that already.” Mercedes felt her voice clench.

“Sorry.”

“Knock it off! Stop thanking me! Stop apologizing!” she snapped. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at picking up social cues?”

“Why would you say that?”

“What, the cues? You’re a lawyer. You’re supposed to be good at catching people in a lie.”

“I think you watch too much tv. All I do is help married people break up. And spoiler alert, everyone’s lying. Everyone’s cheating.”

“That’s not true.”

“Okay, that was an exaggeration, but sometimes it sure feels that way. If everyone’s so rotten, maybe I should give up on love. I mean, most of my clients say they fell in love at first sight, for god’s sake.”

“Well that’s depressing.”

“Not gonna lie, it totally is.”

A hush fell over the car. The swish of the windshield wipers in time to the radio, then fell out of sync again. Mercedes’ stomach growled from way up inside her ribs, the noise making her baby move. 

“Okay, but literally?” Mercedes had to know.

“Literally what?”

“Depressing. Is your work actually making you depressed?”

“Oh. Yep. Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“Not really, no. It’s hard to keep going when every day it’s sad or angry people who once felt like they had it all. I just... I just wanted to get out of the wedding. I’m not even hungry.”

“But you’ll eat,” Mercedes said. This conversation was headed to a bad place, she knew. She had to lighten the mood.

“Oh, most definitely. I can always eat!” 

Mercedes chuckled and rubbed her belly. “So can this little guy!” 

“It’s a boy? Hey, congratulations!”

Mercedes sighed. The mood wasn’t going to stay lifted. “Thanks, I guess. I’m a little sick of boys, to tell you the truth. I’d say men, but they act so much like boys, you’d think they weren’t grown.”

“Ouch. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. It’s not too different from the stories you hear every day at work. I know you don’t need more of that.” She stared straight ahead.

“I’m sorry.”

Mercedes nodded to herself and recited her mantra. “Is what it is.”

“You’re taking care of yourself, right?”

“Well, I’m here buying two Filet-o-Fishes and a milkshake, so you tell me.”

“If that’s not self-care, I don’t know what is.”

“And I left the wedding when it became too hard, that’s something.” Mercedes suddenly blanched. “Oh god, wait, I didn’t even tell Amy. I am so stupid. How could I do that to her today of all days? I am the worst friend, Jesus…”

“Great job on the self-care, by the way.”

“You’re one to talk! Looking for love everywhere, even though you see how easily it falls apart. Every day you watch relationships crumble. Some of those marriages, you know they were built to last. They had all the ingredients of forever.” 

“I know.”

“So then what? Why would you want that for yourself?” Her baby stretched out a leg (or was it an elbow?) and she pushed it back down. He relented and settled back down against her pelvis. “You some sort of masochist or something?” The question bounced around in the car so long, Mercedes wondered if she’d get the answer. But then she spoke.

“I’m afraid.”

Mercedes turned awkwardly in the driver’s seat and faced the empty seat beside her. 

Her mother scolded her when she heard her talking to herself, but she couldn’t help it. She got in the habit of talking to her baby -- the doctor said it would be good for him to hear her voice, even if she had nothing to say and nobody to talk to -- and then after awhile… she didn’t feel so lonely anymore. If she could keep her mama-to-be self separate from her hardworking divorce lawyer self, she told herself, maybe she could be both parents.

But lately it hadn't been so easy and she wondered. She wondered if she had it in her to be enough for both herself and her baby.

A car honked and Mercedes pulled forward to pick up her sandwiches.

***

This story was inspired by Reedsy’s random prompt generator. 

PROTAGONIST: A bridesmaid, who tries not to be lonely.

SECONDARY CHARACTER: A lawyer, who is impatient.

PLOT: It's a comedy-drama story about mental health. It kicks off at a McDonald's drive-through with an awkward conversation.

(Note that: someone in the story is just emerging from an unhealthy relationship.)

And there's a twist! One of the characters will turn out to be a hallucination.