Piña colada puppet

Trigger warning: Contains mentions of adoption and teenage pregnancy

Ready get set and travel magazine: Article number #23 written by Rosemary Whitsands:

It's hardly brain surgery to know that Australia is unique, with its Dingos and gum trees and the famous Scrubby Creek. With the Platypus that resembles a Beaver and a Duck, and if its small spurs inject you that would be rotten luck. Old Platypus is not the only lethal creature here, we have killer Kangaroos that look like steroid Deer.

You could be walking briskly along the bush track, when out of nowhere you're on the ground flat. Kangaroo treats you as his kick boxing dummy, it might sound hilarious but it's actually not funny.

Then there's the Cassowary that looks like a Dino, and i can promise you he's stronger than a Rhino. His talons could rip you up into two, so just don't go near him and you'll be good as new.

There's Drop Bears that drop onto your head as you hike, so don't be fooled by their cuddly sight. They may look like teddies that you'd snuggle with in bed, but they'll fall onto you and poop on your head. ( no I'm just joking, Koalas are cute, it's their marsupial cousin that could cause quite a spook)

The Wombat a fat lazy cuddly fellow, if he gives you a scratch you will most likely bellow. " Ouch that little buggar, he scratched me on the shin!!!" and even when it's bandaged up the wound will still sting. Try not to worry he's not a HUGE threat, there are way worse than him and on that you can bet.

Watch out for the Snakes that come out when it's hot, with their venomous fangs you could die on the spot. Always walk with shoes on and take care when it's sunny, but you also have to watch your bum in the dunny. A Snake could be coiled up in the porcelain bowl, wishing that it could just swallow you whole. Your bums just sitting there and what does it do? It bites your backside, so watch out on the loo.

You could be having a picnic feeling all La,Di,Da, when out of nowhere comes a great big Gallah, it steals your sandwich right under your chin, keep an eye on your food and you won't get too thin. Yet even if you manage to keep your sandwich in sight, beware of the March Flies that sure love to bite. They'll bite and they'll sting and they'll even drink your blood, so wear insect repellent and they'll see you as a dud.

There's Ticks that love to bury in your skin, and it takes so long to find the horrid little things. The paralysis Tick can make you very sick, so if you're under a branch, " Hurry, move QUICK!!!"

There's Canetoads that multiply by the hour, the weather is sunny and next thing it's a shower. There's Bull ants and Mozzies and Emus that peck, there are great big Bunyips that look just like Shrek. Avoid the woods when the moon is out, that's the time the Bunyips prowl about. If they see you they'll grab you and grind your bones into bread, your eyes will be their Cavier, it's a thought i just dread.

Saltwater crocodiles with their big lethal jaws, if they grab you in the water you'll be in the wars. If you go to the beach you might get into strife, if a Jellyfish stings you it will cut like a knife. There are bush fires and floods and cyclones galore, so heed my warning if you've never been here before.

Well this is all a bit far fetched it's only partially true, if you leave them all alone they probably won't hurt you. Just watch where you're going and I'm sure you'll be fine, i live in Australia and I'm doing just fine.

Come and enjoy our marvellous land, with the amazing Ayers rock and the beaches with white sand. Check out Sydney and Melbourne too, Brisbane and Perth and the Didgeridoo. There's so much to do and so much to see, go camping and have some Damper for tea. Taste our Vegemite and don't knock it until you try, it tastes amazing buttered on rye.

Have a barbie on a Sunday and cook up some snags, while you drink a few cold ones, "Strewth mate this ain't bad, we got cans in our hands and food in our belly and later we'll watch some cricket on the telly. So come to our country and have a fair dinkum good day and don't forget our iconic greeting, G'day."

Aussie slang dictionary

Barbie: BBQ,

G'day: Hello

Dont knock it: Dont judge

Telly: Television

Fair dinkum: Honest

Snag: Sausage

Strewth: Oh my god

Cold one: Can of beer



After reading the strange article she found in a holiday magazine Shelly decided, " Fine, I'll put Australia down on my bucket list. If i get into some extra cash, i'm going there to check it all out."

Shelly eventually came into some money from her odd talent of ventriloquism. When she made her puppet Miss Maples talk, nobody could ever tell that they were two separate entities. The words flowed from Shelly's throat and somehow left Miss Maples mouth in a cute high pitched octave of fun and giggles, not to mention the odd insult to Shelly to make the kids laugh. Miss Maples was as cheeky as a child after eating all their Halloween candy. Her YouTube channel views sky-rocketed like well, a rocket, blasting off into a galaxy of budding fame and success. Everybody wanted a piece of Shelly and her Puppet.

Shelly wanted to visit Australia, it was all she thought about since that bizzare rhyming article. She felt like it had been written for her, calling out to her like a siren sings its dangerous yet enchanting melody to fishermen " This will give me so much inspiration for my YouTube channel!!" she gushed as she gazed lovingly at Miss Maples. " Don't expect me to be working on holiday!!!" Screeched the puppet, as her golden curls bounced up and down in protest "I am going there to drink Piña coladas through you on the beach!!" Shelly giggled with glee, she loved the constant banter of her best friend.

Shelly got her passport all sorted and booked her plane ticket, Miss Maples feeling like such a separate conciousness from her, that she almost booked a second plane seat without thinking. "Silly Shelly, you must have your wits about you, we're going to a country that has killer Cockatoo!!" the puppet sang. "I'm sure Cockatoos are harmless" laughed Shelly. The puppet wasn't convinced, she had an irrational fear of being carried off in the talons of the flying Australian bird, to then be made into bedding for its hatchlings.

The big day arrived, suitcases packed and insect repellent, sunscreen and lots of summer wear for the sunburnt country, the young women and the puppet soared off into the unknown.

Shelly's travel diary

"I travelled to Australia with my Puppet by my side, it made me see the parts of me that I can no longer hide. We visited all the capital cities, we travelled the Nullarbor plain, we ate Vegemite on toast and i thought Australians are insane. The salty bitterness it burnt my tounge and then Miss Maples poked some fun, she told me I'm only meant to spread a tiny bit, but i justified that the taste made me sick. We saw all the sights that we wanted to see, we even saw a Koala bear in a tree. We went searching for Bunyips in the bush and Miss Maples got a scare when we heard a loud WHOOSH but it wasn't a big Bunyip, just a Tree Kangaroo, lucky we saw all these things, because i then caught the flu. Yet doctors told me i was ill from a tick, it had buried into me and made me real sick. I couldn't really move much, but at least i could write, So i wrote into my diary most of the night.

Miss Maples sat unused in my bag, and alone with my head i thought i'd go mad. It had been so long since i had sat with my emotions, and forced to do this opened up oceans. Oceans of grief that i had locked away, the fact that i was adopted on my very first day."

Shelly cried tears she hadn't cried before, heart wrenching sobs wracked the hospital bed. Her diary slid from her trembling fingers and fell to the white marble floor. All she wanted in that moment was her real mother who would hold her tight and caress her cheeks, singing soft lullabies as she drifted off to sleep. She didn't know anything about her biological Mom, the only information she was given was that her Mother had been only fifteen years old when she gave birth to her. At least she had her loving adoptive parents and her beloved Miss Maples, yet she wondered where her Mother was and whether she had ever loved her.

Shelly fully recovered after two days and once she left the loud sterile hospital she relaxed by the beach as Miss Maples had wanted to do all along. She breathed in the medicinal salty fresh air of the tropical beach, palm trees full of coconuts swaying on a light afternoon breeze, seagulls circling above the beach like air sharks, ready to swoop down from the air and steal anybodys donuts, pies or sandwiches, Grainy sand between her toes, Piña colada in hand she sat talking to her puppet as if they were the only two in the world.

" Oooooh who have you got there?? Mind if I sit with you??" Came the voice of a pretty brunette women that looked to be around forty. Shelly would have felt shy without Miss Maples, but she used her puppet to strike up a conversation with this women who had the exact same big brown eyes as her. "Hello, i am Miss Maples and this is Shelly!!" the puppet shrieked. Feeling silly all of a sudden, Shelly blushed and whispered " sorry, I just love ventriloquism so much, it's my passion." With down cast eyes, she put the puppet down.

"Don't apologise honey, i sat down here because i love ventriloquism too and I wanted to meet both of you!!" the women soothed as she smiled warmly at Shelly. She introduced herself as Rosemary and Shelley felt instantly drawn to her, overwhelmingly wanting to snuggle against her and hold her very scent deep in her lungs forever like eternal perfume. She wondered where these urges were coming from, she snapped herself out of it and talked all afternoon with this Rosemary.

She found out an amazing thing, it had been Rosemary that had written the strange rhyming article in the travel magazine. What were the odds of meeting her randomly on a beach!!! " You're the very reason I'm here on holiday" gasped Shelly. "Your writing captured me and i had to see it all for myself." Rosemary then went on to tell her that she had too been born in America and at age fifteen, her family had moved here permanently. " I had something happen in the States and so, my parents decided to get me away from it all and start afresh." Rosemary confided sadly, her eyes glazing over with painful memories. Shelly didn't ask her for more details, as she could see it was a painful subject, it wasn't any of her business anyway. She animated Miss Maples to cheer her up, Rosemary clapping and laughing in delight at the witty remarks of the puppet.

When the sun started to set and the stars started to glitter in the vast Australian sky, the two women had exchanged contact information. They felt an intense connection to each other and so they wanted to see where this newfound friendship would go. It's not very often in life that you find somebody who instantly makes you feel like you're home in your comfy PJs, watching your favorite Netflix show as you drink soul soothing hot cocoa.

They both felt like they had been waiting forever for each other, yet neither could explain why. " Come to dinner with me tonight!!" Rosemary gushed, not wanting this magical moment to end ."You simply MUST try Australian oysters!!"

Shelly shreiked with glee and nodded her head in agreement. She had never felt so excited in her entire life!! She looped her arm in Rosemary's and the two women walked off together. Excited to get to know each other more over oysters, and perhaps a few too many cocktails.

Little did they know, they were reunited Mother and Daughter.