Mirrored

She cut Dad that particular frown, and cut through his harsh exterior. A trick I had never learned despite having exactly the same face as her.

‘If you lock me up here any longer I’ll run away. I swear you will just wake up one day and I’ll be gone.’ Marie stomped up a couple of stairs then stopped and turned as if to yell some more.

‘OK, OK, you can go, but back by ten.’ Dad said, leaving the room before he changed his mind.

‘How do you do that?’ I curled my lip.

‘I’m the favourite. I was born six minutes earlier than you, they’ve loved me longer.’

This was her kind of response, never a kind response. I had almost had enough, and Dad was just never very just.

Marie ran up the rest of the stairs, leaving me to sink my wrinkled hands back into the sink. I checked the date, I couldn’t believe my sister had a date. We were both supposed to be grounded for another four days following the incident with the apple pie, which had been entirely her fault.

Twenty minutes later she thundered back into the kitchen, twisted my ponytail on her way past and stopped in the hallway to check her mascara. I caught a glimpse of her in the mirror and wondered if she would ever be first to make up, she was certainly always first to make up. I never so much as applied lipstick, but Marie often reminded me of a Barbie. Maybe I had to face the fact that we didn’t really have the exact same face. Even if hers was fake; as fake as I would have to be to get her back on side.

Saturday brought my freedom with it. I biked over to Beccy’s house.

‘Hey Louise, come up to my room I have a new deck.’

Her room, as always, was dimly lit with candles and incense on every available surface. We sat opposite each other on the floor as she pulled a small box from under her bed.

‘All set with a new set huh?’

‘Yeah these are really quirky. I especially like Death, but you probably won’t pick him.’ I saw her shuffle back a little as she passed me the deck to shuffle. ‘Let’s do a past, present, future spread. Select three.’

I held my breath for a moment as I held the cards, pulling my mind deliberately to my sister. Marie. What can I do about her? How can I become her equal? And even; Can I get rid of her entirely? I selected three cards, laying each one on the carpet.

‘So what question are you asking today?’

‘I’m focussing on how to deal with Marie, she’s done it again this week, got out of being grounded to go on a date while I was left stuck at home with the chores.’

‘Again? She’s a nightmare. OK, turn the first one over.’

I reached out and turned the first card, my stomach flipped. It was the Devil.

‘What does it mean?’

‘It’s your past card, so represents how things have been, and in this context, your sister, it could mean that you have been living in fear, or have been dominated by her.’

‘That’s certainly true. I can’t say anything without her snapping and she definitely dominates me. Can you imagine sharing a room with someone who actually pulls your hair when they don’t get their own way? She takes my stuff, breaks my stuff, blames me for everything, gets me in trouble. And you’d think my own parents could tell us apart, but she sometimes removes her make up and pretends to be me, doing things just to wind Dad up and I wind up with the blame. Sorry, I’ll stop ranting now.’

‘But the cards indicate this is in the past. So I wonder what is in the present? Try the next one.’

I turned over the middle card, with a little trepidation. The eight of cups.

‘That looks like a man walking away.’

‘Yes, it usually signifies that you have turned your back on something, or someone, with a sense of disappointment. He’s heading into the mountains, that means that this won’t be an easy journey.’

‘I wonder if I’m turning my back on Marie? I have certainly had enough of her.’

‘Let’s try the future.’

The third card was Death himself.

‘Interesting. Though it doesn’t usually mean an actual death. Usually a change in, or ending of, a relationship; when your question is about a person. Perhaps you are walking away from Marie.’

‘Can I draw one more card? Just to see what comes up?’

‘Feel free. I’d be interested too.’

I selected a final card and laid it face up on the carpet. Judgement.

‘Wow.’ Beccy said. ‘You’re getting all the interesting ones. Judgement can also mean an end of something, a new beginning. But it signifies reflection too, reflection on a situation or relationship. Taken literally it means that someone is preparing to be judged, to have their actions weighed and find out where they will spend eternity.’

‘I hope that’s her, not me.’ I shuddered. ‘So, putting this all together, it could mean that in the past I have been overshadowed by my sister, I’m starting the difficult journey of walking away from that and change is coming. Maybe I’ll get my own back. The reflection part is funny, because we are twins, quite literally a mirror image of each other.’

‘If you are really interested the Park Street Library has a whole section on fortune telling. It’s where I get most of my research done. They class it alongside all the books on the occult, which are pretty interesting too.’

The library was interesting. I started off looking up tarot but soon found myself looking up at the dark and dusty shelves for further inspiration. Reflection perhaps. Reflection. A book on Mirror Spells caught my eye, I reached up for it.

It was time I left, the Library was closing and I was the only one left. I had just enough time to check out the contents of the mirror spell book before I decided I would check out the mirror spell book.

Back at my house I was glad to discover Marie engrossed in a reality TV show in the living room. Exactly the kind of thing I couldn’t stand. I sneaked the library book up to our room and shut the door before I turned to chapter 9, “Entrapment”.

I skim read the introduction, gleaning from the glossy pages that it was possible, with the right mindset and dedication, to trap another person inside a mirror and have them doomed to act as your own reflection until the day you died. It sounded drastic, but life without Marie would have a multitude of benefits. And surely my parents would swallow a story about her running away. She threatened often enough.

As I read the instructions for the fifteenth time I ran out of time. Marie was coming up the stairs. I had to hide the book, but I could start the first phase of my spell immediately.

‘What are you doing?’ Marie asked, shoving her way through the bedroom door.

‘What are you doing?’ I mirrored.

‘I’m getting ready for bed. It’s late.’

‘I’m getting ready for bed. It’s late.’

She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head before picking out a pair of blue pyjamas with stars on. I picked out my identical pair and put them on to match. She huffed as she caught sight of me.

‘So childish.’ She said.

‘So childish.’

I wondered how long I could keep this up, the book suggested a couple of days were required as a minimum, copying as much of her behaviour as possible. Being identical to her in looks surely had to help make this more effective.

On Sunday she got up early and had boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, I copied. She went out on her bike. I drew the line at following her but I also went out on mine. I went over to Beccy’s and told her I was copying Marie to annoy her, she didn’t need the whole story. I carried on throughout the next two days as well. When she put her hand up in class I did too, I chose the same homework assignments as her, ate what she ate, said what she said. I even wore make up.

‘What is with you?’

‘What is with you?’

‘Dad, will you tell her? She’s driving me crazy, copying everything I do.’

‘Dad will you tell her?...’

‘Look! Both of you. I don’t have time for your petty squabbles. Will you just go upstairs until it’s time for dinner? I have work to do.’

It wasn’t a huge win, but at least Dad wasn’t automatically taking her side. Maybe he couldn’t tell us apart since I’d been dressing like her and plastering on the lipstick. We both stomped up the stairs, it was time for phase two.

I had to create reflections of us both together, in the same pose, in three different surfaces. For each time I did it I had to light a candle where it could be reflected in glass, and let it burn all the way out. I had three days to do this. I deliberately chose tealights, short burn time and easy to light on the bedroom window ledge.

The first joint reflection was simple, I just stood beside her while she fiddled with her make up in the bathroom mirror, copying her unattractive pout with one hand on my hip, just like her. Of course she objected but I refused to budge when told. I burned the tealight that night but she complained she didn't like its jasmine scent like she complained about everything I did.

The second one I managed to sneak in, just for a second. She was reading in the living room with the TV off. I sat beside her with my own copy of Hamlet, managing to squeeze us both into the black framed screen. It wasn’t the clearest reflection, but I could see us both in outline at least and I was sure I’d copied her position exactly. I ran upstairs to burn the candle immediately without her knowing.

The third reflection was in a shop window on the way home from school. She stopped to look at some hideous boots that matched her look but certainly not mine. I pretended to like them as if they were like my own tastes, just so I could steal a few seconds of her mirror image in the window. Face on, hands in pockets, feet together, slight smile.

The final candle had to be burned that day, but we were both kept busy helping Dad clear out the garage when we got home. I got into bed while Marie was in the bathroom, and lit the last tealight wondering how long it would last. I decided to stay up reading so I could see it burn down and be sure it had worked.

There was one more thing to do, to trap her stupid trap forever. I had concealed a small mirror with a bronze coloured frame under my pillow. At sunrise I would sneak out of bed while she was still asleep and hold it up to show her reflection while I was not visible in the mirror at all. Then I’d break the glass while it was pointed at her. If all went to plan the glass would break, she would be sucked into the frame and the glass would be sucked back into place over the top of her, trapping her to be a reflection forever. My reflection. I didn’t really believe it would work.

‘Put that candle out. What is it with you and candles this week?’

‘No, I like them, and its my last one so you can just put up with it.’

‘Can’t you light it when I’m not here?’

‘I like it like this, in the dark. Stop whining.’

‘I’ll let you burn it tonight but if that’s not the last one the rest are going in the fire tomorrow.’ She climbed into bed with a huff.

I couldn’t sleep. I watched the tealight and its window reflection until they both burned all the way down and flickered out. Then I pulled down the blind leaving me blind in the dark. Just one more step and I would be rid of her forever. I felt under my pillow and felt the reassurance of the toffee hammer I had hidden with the looking glass. I’d grab a load of her stuff once she was trapped and stuff it in a bag, hide it away so Dad would assume she’d run off as she so frequently threatened.

Sunrise was due at 5.42am. At 5.40am I crept out of bed and readied my mirror and hammer. I sneaked across the room with one eye on my watch and positioned myself next to Marie’s bed, to watch her.

At exactly 5.42am I held out the mirror to face away from myself and towards her face, lifted the toffee hammer with my other hand and cracked the two together, metal against glass. There was a clear clang as the hammer struck the mirror but the glass did not break.

A shiver ran through my entire body, my hands shook and I felt the sweat break over my back. Marie stirred. I turned the mirror in my hand to face myself and saw that the face had cracked a little on one side but not broken. I needed a full break for the spell to work and the sun was rising. I stood for a moment wondering what to do but before I could turn the mirror back towards Marie she was awake.

‘What the Hell? Are you watching me sleep now? Weirdo! What’s that in your hand?’

She reached up and grabbed the mirror, her hand over mine, wrestling my fingers to try to take it from me. I panicked and lashed out at her, catching the side of her face with the toffee hammer.

‘That hurt! What are you doing? Get off me!’

I let go of the hammer and it fell to the floor. She pulled the mirror out of my grip and stared at it.

‘What are you doing with a cracked mirror? What’s wrong with you?’

She punched me hard in the stomach and threw the mirror to the floor. I doubled over in pain, grabbing at my belly with both hands, winded. The mirror landed face up but the force with which it hit the floor was enough to break the glass. As I looked down into it, staring it full in the face, it broke, splinters of glass bouncing up onto the floorboards and exposing the back of the frame.

I felt my head swirl, dizziness engulfed me, like closing your eyes when you’re drunk. Then my body physically spun, faster and faster round and round until I couldn’t keep my feet on the floor. I was lifting up into the air and twirling, as if caught in a tornedo. Marie was screaming, but she sounded far away.

My feet were drawn to a sharp point below me, still spinning and whirling through the air. Then I felt a pull, a strong, definite pull from the mirror. As it sucked me in I knew this sucked. My spell had backfired. I tried to grab at the walls, the furniture, Marie’s hair, anything, but the force was too much. My body stretched out into a thin twirling cone and I looked down as my feet started to head into the small bronze frame, followed by my legs, my body, my arms, my head.

Then the glass started to fit itself back into the frame, one shard at a time, falling into place on top of me. I stared out from my new home, struggling to force my way through, but I was through.

I saw the room, and Marie. She picked up the mirror, staring deeply into it with wide eyes and an open mouth.

‘Louise? Louise?’

All I could do was stare back, mimicking her facial movements, a perfect image of her. My face turned slowly into an unexpected smile and I realised that my expression was dictated by hers.

I had started off mirroring her, but on reflection, I was now no more than her reflection.