Dancing From the Past

I wake to the phone ringing on my bedside table, the clock reads 4:07 Am. The caller ID is unknown, it says it’s from California. When I pick up the phone the voice is familiar.

“Annelise. Can you hear me?”

“Who is this?” I ask, still groggy from sleep.

“Umm,” the other line says, “It’s Lucas.”

“Lucas?” Worry creeps into my voice. The only reason my brother would call would be an emergency.

“I’m really sorry Annelise.” He’s starting to freak me out. “Grandma just passed away.” 

My boyfriend Tony drives me to the airport. It’s our semester break from culinary school, so I won't miss anything for the funeral.

“You sure you’re going to be ok?” he asks, holding my hand.

“I don’t know,” I respond honestly.

“You can call me whenever you need, no matter what time it is.”

“Can I get your bags?” Is the first thing my brother says to me after stepping out of the San Francisco International Airport.

“No, I’m fine.”

Lucas’ wife is waiting in the car, it’s the first time I’m meeting her.

“Hi Annelise, it’s nice to meet you, I’m sorry it can’t be under better circumstances.” Anya says. She's pretty and reminds of my mother in the way her eyes seem to know your thoughts and emotions and the right way to comfort you.

I smile at her. “It’s nice to meet you too.” 

San Francisco is raining, but as I step into the car I’m greeted by the warmth of the heater. When I boarded the plane this morning in Rome it was another hot, December day. 

Lucas pulls out of the terminal and Anya turns the radio on, it’s a sad and lonely song, and after the long flight I find myself being lulled to sleep by the motion of the vehicle and the melancholy of the rain and music.

I’m awoken by the voices of my brother and his wife. 

“Tell me again why you never kept in contact with her?” Anya asks him with criticism in her voice.

I wonder how he’ll respond.

“When our dad died I blamed myself, and I think she blamed me too. I thought it was better to keep my distance, so I moved out as soon as I could, and hoped that if she had forgiven me she would reach out.” I roll my eyes, that isn’t how I remember it.

Anya doesn’t respond, but in the rearview mirror, I can tell that she’s rolling her eyes.

Maybe she’s on my side, I ponder. It would be nice to have an ally.

We arrive at their house in the outskirts of Redding after the 3 hour drive. I unload my bags and give Mom, who arrived yesterday, a tight hug. She looks tired and bedraggled, like she’s been crying. 

“How are you doing?” I ask her, my hands on her arms.

She shrugs. “I’m ok.”

Anya gives Mom a hug. “Can I get you anything Lena?”

“No, thank you dear.”

The rest of the night proves to be uneventful, we order pizza and eat it on the deck of my brother’s house in a tired silence and then go to bed early.

The next morning Lucas drives us to the funeral service. It’s in a beautiful church on the outskirts of town, butting up to the river. The weather outside is still cold and rainy, but the air smells clear and clean.

The pews are filled with people. A close friend of Grandma and Grandpa’s gives the service. He talks about how much they loved each other and how happy they must be to be reunited in heaven. He highlights how much love they had for their family and friends.

Mom speaks about her mother, she talks about her fondest memories with her and how grateful she was to name her daughter after her.

I cry during her speech.

There is a small reception after the funeral, we stay for a while, thanking people for coming.

Grandma’s lawyer approaches us after the reception.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he starts. “I am Matthew DeCrette. Annelise was very clear that in the event of her passing I discuss her will with her family as soon as possible. Could we set up an appointment tomorrow to do so?”

"Of course.” Mom answers.

We plan when and where to meet him and leave the reception hall.

The next day we enter Mr. DeCrette’s law office.

We wait in his office in front of his large mahogany desk.

Mr. DeCrette enters the room and sits at his desk. He picks up the will and begins to read.

“Last will and testament of Annelise Becker. I, Annelise Becker of Redding, California, being of sound mind, declare the following to be my last will and testament.

My daughter, Lena Burke of Portland, Maine is to inherit all my remaining funds. 

My grandchildren, Lucas Burke of Redding, California and Annelise Burke of Rome, Italy should inherit all remaining real estate property in my possession.” I look at Lucas with confusion as he continues. “This includes my estate in Redding, California and its surrounding land. 

If Lena Burke should desire any of my belongings, she has the first rights to anything she desires. Annelise, Lucas, and Anya Burke have second rights to whatever possessions they desire.

Annelise Becker, signed March 11, 2010.”

Mr. DeCrette finishes reading, we all sit in silence.

“I can’t believe she left us her house.” Lucas says in disbelief.

“What are we going to do with it?” I counter.

Lucas shrugs.

Mom is excited by the prospect of inheriting grandma's fortune and what she’ll be able to do with it.

We agree that I should go back and finish the semester of culinary school before we do anything with Grandma’s house. So I say goodbye to my family and return to Italy. The rest of the semester flies past and suddenly it’s June.

Tony, my now fiancé leaves me at the airport in Rome. 

“I’ll see you in a month!” I exclaim, giving him a quick peck on the lips. I pull away and head towards the security line, waving back at him.

Lucas picks me up from the airport again, Anya gives me a hug. I fall asleep on the drive and I don’t wake up until we arrive at Grandma Annelise’s house.

The house is considerably large and sits on an acre of land. Grandma never talked much about her past, but I know that she came from a very wealthy family in Austria and that’s how she was able to afford the house.

The house is old and in need of a few repairs and renovations. Lucas and Anya will commute back and forth and stay in their own home as we make the repairs. Mom and Tony will join us in July, to help us go through Grandma’s things.

I bring my bags into the house and up to the second story, where I’ll be staying.

The house is two stories with a basement, it has four bedrooms on the second floor and big, open living and dining rooms and a kitchen on the first floor.

After a week of work, Lucas and I have managed to avoid each other. Anya and I have been painting, the original paint is starting to peel and the colors are far outdated. Lucas busies himself with tasks on the outside of the house.

Today the three of us plan to repair the old horse stables at the back of the property. Grandma and Grandpa never owned horses, so the stables are run down.

We each drive an ATV that Grandpa bought for the property. They’re old, but they work enough for us to carry our tools to the stables.

The stables have six enclosures and a small tack room. The wood is still in good shape, but some of the enclosure doors have rusted hinges that will need replacement. The stable is also in need of a serious cleaning.

Anya offers to go to the hardware store for the supplies we’ll need, so Lucas and I get started.

We put music on and start to sweep the floors and collect any debris inside the enclosures. After a few hours, we are in need of a break. We sit down next to each other on the floor of the stable. As we sit together, I remember all the memories we made in this house as kids.

“Hey! Do you remember that dance we used to do together when we thought Mom wasn’t looking?” I exclaim.

“Haha. Of course!” he answers excitedly, “Didn’t we learn it from a TV show?”

“I think so,” I respond. Dancing is one of the last memories I have of the two of us before Dad died, before Lucas blamed himself.

I sigh sort of sadly, “I think the last time we did that dance was the morning before Dad died. He had cooked breakfast and made us do it as a thank you.”

Lucas laughs sadly.

“Why did we ever stop dancing?” I ask him, knowing the answer.

“I guess we just grew apart.” His answer makes me mad.

“We didn’t grow apart. You left me to grow up without you.” I stand up and look down on him, “We stopped dancing because you stopped acting like my brother.”

I walk out of the stables, needing to be away from him. Anya has just arrived, she gives me a concerned look which I don’t respond to.

“I’m going in to get something to eat,” I say as I leave. Lucas gets up after me, but I give him my best glare in hopes of telling him to back off.

He gets the message and lets me leave.

Lucas and Anya finish the repairs to the stables and leave to have dinner at their home.

I’ve finished eating dinner and am reading a book in the living room, when the doorbell rings.

I answer the door and it’s Anya.

“Hey, sorry to bug you,” she starts, “I left my jacket here.”

I let her in and she goes to the kitchen to retrieve her forgotten jacket.

As she’s about to leave she stops.

“Annelise, for what it’s worth, I think that Lucas wants to make amends with you. He wants his little sister back. Maybe he isn’t doing it in the best way, but he wants to try.” Her words are somewhat reassuring.

“When Dad died, all that I wanted was my big brother to comfort me. Mom was broken and Grandma wanted to act like nothing had changed. I needed a big brother and he felt like I didn’t.” My voice starts to crack, I press my nails into my palms, I refuse to cry.

Anya puts her hand on my arm, “Maybe you should tell him that.”

I nod.

“Good night Annelise.” she says, walking out the front door.

Another week of repairs passes and we’ve accomplished much. All the outside repairs are done. All that remains are things on the interior.

Lucas and I have yet to smooth things over, but Anya’s words stay with me and from the way Lucas has been acting I think she told him about our conversation. 

Lucas and I are in the basement making sure none of the laundry room appliances need replacement. We push out the washing machine and dryer and I crawl behind them to inspect the vents. As I put my hand on the wall to brace myself, I feel a panel in the wall move inward. My hand falls in and I lose my balance, falling into the wall. 

“Ouch!” I yelp.

“Are you ok?” Lucas asks, peeking around the washer to look at me.

“Yah fine. Just hit my head on the wall. There’s some sort of hole here. It looks big enough to fit a person if they crouch.”

Lucas moves the washer some more so that we can both fit behind it. We peer into the hole. Lucas looks at me.

“Do you want to go inside?” He asks.

“Is it bad that I really do?”

“Ladies first.” Lucas turns on his flashlight.

I enter the tunnel, crawling on my hands and knees. Lucas is holding his flashlight in his mouth to light the path for both of us.

“If we get trapped, do you think Anya will be able to find us?” I joke, a hint of worry in my voice.

Lucas replies, but I can’t understand because of the flashlight in his mouth. After about five minutes of crawling, we reach an opening. It's the size of a small bedroom and both of us can stand up. The concrete walls are covered in old photos. I don’t recognize the people in the photos, but they look like they were taken when Grandma was young. There is a table in the middle of the room, on it is a small wooden box. Like a box an artist would keep paint in.

Lucas looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. He opens it, inside are photos of the two of us when we were younger. One photo is of the summer we visited Grandma and she took us to the redwood forest, we’re posed in front of a tree taller than any building we’d ever seen. The next photo is of Lucas and I on Grandma’s bed, we have our pajamas on and mischievous grins on our faces. Each photo is another memory of our visits to California as kids. When we reach the bottom of the box there is a letter. I pick it up, recognizing Grandma’s handwriting.

I start to read, “Lucas and Annelise, in the event of my death, this house and this room will be yours. This place is about my past. When I was young in Austria, World War II had just begun, my parents gave their lives fighting for their beliefs that no one should be punished for having different beliefs than those in power. My two brothers and I,” I pause and look up from the letter for a moment. I never knew Grandma had siblings, “My two brothers and I vowed to fight for our parents ideals, and with that we were forced to grow up and mature fast. My brothers and I no longer shared the special sibling bond that we once had, and after they died I wished every day to have danced and joked with them again. I hope that one day I will get to see my Annelise and Lucas dance and joke again, and if I don’t, I hope you dance in this room so you will have some part of me with you to see. 

Love, Grandma.”

When I finish reading, there are tears in my eyes. I look to Lucas.

“Lucas, I want to dance and joke with you again too.” I’m about to cry, but I don’t care, Lucas is too.

We embrace for a long time. When I pull away, he wipes the tears from my cheeks.

“I’m sorry I left you, I’m sorry that I felt in some sort of twisted way that I was protecting you.” he apologizes, and I know that he means it.

“Will you be my brother now?” I ask him. I feel like a little kid again. 

“I’d love that.”

Even though I don’t think Lucas and I will ever have the relationship we once did as kids, we’ve made amends.

When Tony and I get married, Lucas walks me down the aisle.

When we finish culinary school, we move to Paris. Anya and Lucas find every excuse to come visit us, and we find every opportunity for a “work trip” to visit them.

We had always loved each other, but it took one secret passage and one meddling Grandmother to help us get to the place we are now.