Memories of me

I remember my very first Christmas when I was 5 years old that's when I went from living in an orphanage and going from foster home to foster home to finally my forever home.i really never ever had a good Christmas or one that i cant recall.i remember my mom and dad had asked what I wanted for Christmas and I recall I was so happy to be in a loving home with two loving parents and brothers and a sister.i remember helping decorating this big gigantic blue spruce tree that my dad had grown outside in our yard for the past 20 years.i remember decorating it with the most beautiful antique ornaments that my dad had gotten from his mom and making popcorn strings to wrap around the blue beautiful branches.wrapping and entwined it with crystal white lights.chrismas eve finally had arrived and I remember all the excitement because my mom took all of us to see the nutcracker ballet.to a five year old child my mind was all awhirl.my little eyes were all aglow with excitement.i couldn't sit in my seat and what a comfy seat made of red velvet.then all of sudden the lights dimmed and the curtain opened and the stage was alighted with beautiful ballet dancers.the nutcracker soldiers flitted across the stage along with the vibrant,colorful sugar plum fairies.as the show ended I remember jumping up and down with excitement because I had experienced something magical.once we had gotten home,it was to my moms sisters house,my aunt pat as she was fondly called.i remember stepping through her door and smelling the most wonderful smells of Christmas, Christmas cookies,eggnog and other delicious smells coming through the kitchen.Along with the smells of Christmas tree and cigar smoke from my Uncle Wills cigar.My Aunt approached me and my siblings and placing in our hands Christmas cards full of crisp 20 dollars bills.My tiny hands were trembling with excitement. never had i felt such love.These people were all new to me.But my little mind was trying to comprehend all these emotions.Emotions of happiness.Later that night my mom ushered all of kids of to bed,saying that if we didn't go to bed,or Santa would be passing our house by.Christmas day had finally arrived and we were up at the crack of dawn,running into the living room and tearing into our stockings that were hung by the fireplace.Big red stockings trimmed in white fur.Stockings stuffed to the brim,with candy of all sorts and tiny wrapped boxes containing little gifts.my eyes alighted all across the room to my mom and dads faces that held the biggest smiles.My moms eyes twinkled and held bemusement.My mom and Dad so full of love for us! My heart a heart of a 5 yr old child bursting with love and pride ,knowing these two were mine.I sat in the middle of our big living room ripping the wrapping paper away from the colorfully wrapped gifts that my parents bestowed upon us.I remember the smells waifting from the kitchen,the smells of Ham and turkey and other delicious food.my tiny mouth watering. I couldn't resist.I ran into our kitchen a kitchen all decked with holly and blue spruce trimmings from the big Christmas tree.Ahh the smells of Christmas and the white snow outside our house that had fallen the night before.My very first Christmas with my new family, my forever family.I remember hearing my siblings from the livingroom,their laughter bubbling up from deep inside of them.Complicit Joy and mirth.My family wasn't rich but did pretty well for themselves and us kids never wanted for anything.This one Christmas like many others to come through the years were truly joyous and momentous.Especially for my childlike mind at 5 yrs old.I remembered alot for being so young,especially at 5.No Christmas ever has ever been so truly magical or so revenant as the one when I was 5.My first Christmas with my new family was so completely and forever embedded into my heart,looking back at how I helped my dad string and tack these big,gigantic bulbous colored Christmas lights all around our house.i with tiny hands had accomplished something so big and forever memorable with my dad.What i feat i thought at the time.i felt so big,I felt like superman when he leaped over tall buildings and soared high above the clouds in his red cape.Except I had no red cape!Christmas had come and gone and I had got to celebrate my first New Years in my new home,I finally got to meet all my relatives,when I first laid eyes on my grandfather and grandmother loscar I was overjoyed with them.They were the most loving and wonderful I could have possibly imagined.So full of love for me.Me not of their own blood but just the same.And oh my Aunt julie and Uncle raymond my 2 favorite people in the whole world.My aunt julie came in like an Angel all dressed in a gossamer short white dress,her golden hair piled on top of her head and the bluest angelic eyes.She truly looked and acted like an Angel here on earth. Her and my Uncle Raymond embraced me as one of their kin.And not let me forget meeting my cousins for the first time! My mind was all awhirl with joy.knowing I had cousins to play with,especially my cousin julianna or J.j for short.One that I had become close with over the years.Forvever one my closest pals.Gifts all around were given to each and everyone. What a joyous moment seeing all this through my little eyes.The Smiles and laughter all the house with my family and our relatives,Christmas music playing on the record player in the backroom.Lest I not forget all of decked out in our holiday dresses and suites.Joy,Laughter and dancing until late in the evening.My little feet were tired,my eyelids growing heavy but I didn't care.I wanted this moment to last forever,not wanting to end!trying to stay up for the the New year to ring in and the Ball to drop in New York City had become a feat for me.I remember laying my head on my moms lap.my eyes closing ,opening, closing.Hearing indistinct chatter from my aunts and uncles and my grandparents. I tried to stay awake,trying to outbest sleep.But at last i drifted into a warm abyss of sleep.