~ Girls Night Out ~

~ Girls Night Out ~

Debbie paused the Scrooged Christmas movie on TV, stood and claimed the room, “This will only take a second. I have an announcement to make. As we all know Corrine will be turning forty-one tomorrow. There will be a birthday celebration of course,” Debbie let the applause die down and went on. “But tonight Shewuma and I,” Debbie waved her arm to Shewuma, who stood in acknowledgement, “are taking Corrine to celebrate with a girl’s night out.”

“All right!” Corrine yelled.

“And where would you like to go, Birthday Girl?” Debbie asked her with some formality.

“Definitely Bordertown,” Corrine answered. “They have darts, pool, shuffleboard, a band and peanut shells all over the floor.”

“Sounds great!” said Wu with a fist pump.

But Debbie wasn’t finished yet. “Corrine, get with Jimmy and tell him what you want for your meals tomorrow.”

“Anything?” said Corrine.

“Anything you want Cuz,” Jimmy assured her. “And the birthday cake will be carrot cake with cream cheese icing. That’s your favorite, right?”

“Hell, yeah,” said Corrine, eating up the attention.

“And lastly,” Debbie concluded, looking directly at young Dermott, “presents are not optional.”

“Well, of course,” Were the murmurs.

“Now back to Bill Murray and his hilarious impression of Richard Burton.”

**********

At 7:30, the girls lined up by the front door for inspection by the menfolk. Corrine wore black boots with purple lacing made of cowhide. In skintight jeans, it looked like she was poured into them. The top was a striking, see-through snakeskin print with a lacy white bra showing underneath. Shewuma was an Indian Princess. Her normally confined hair flowed freely past her dark shoulders. The sleeveless, lacy casual blouse was a soft cream color and the extremely short skirt was Native American-inspired fringed buckskin. It showed off her long legs, which were further accentuated with black strappy heels. A southwestern style beaded belt around her waist had a bone knife shoved in it at an angle. Lethal weapon or decoration? Debbie was dangerously sexy in a curve-hugging black leather dress, straight neckline with a plunging V neck accent dipping down between her ample breasts. The already short dress had a severe slit on the side. Setting it off were cowgirl-type boots of black suede with silver buckles at the top and the ankles. “Tonight, I dub us The Hot Bitches. Look out, Creekers,” said Corinne, oozing sass.

Jimmy’s initial reaction was over the top. “You girls absolutely cannot go out in public looking like that,” he stated flatly.

“Oh, that means we look really good,” Debbie said to the other two.

Dermott stared at them, speechless. David E. put up his hands in wonder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen three more beautiful women,” he said earnestly.

“I’m with you,” said Daniel. “No bar around here deserves them.”

Wu said, “Come on, Jimmy. Say it. We look good.”

“Yeah,” said Jimmy reluctantly. “You girls are gorgeous.” He backed off on his earlier comment. “Y’all have money?”

“Yes,” said Debbie. “But look at us. We won’t need it. And we’re taking the Trans Am.”

“Of course you are,” said Jimmy. “Are you packing?” He asked, now unable to suppress a smile.

Debbie kissed him goodbye. “Wu and I have weapons in the trunk.”

Jimmy and Daniel helped Debbie and Corrine with their coats. Jimmy offered one to Wu. “No, thanks. I’m good. I don’t want to cover up any of this.” She spun around pertly.

The guys watched the girls head out into the darkness. “Damn!” said Jimmy.

“Yeah. Damn!” agreed Daniel. “I hope Corrine comes home horny.”

Tongue tied by his pubescence, Dermott had nothing to say and simply ran to the bathroom.

**********

Bordertown was already packed when The Hot Bitches arrived, so they sat down at the bar. Within minutes, they had turned down assorted offers of varying degrees of interaction from several men and one woman. While they talked, shots and mixed drinks sent by admirers backed up on the bar in front of them. The tall swarthy bartender told them, “I can’t give you any more drinks until all of these are gone. But I’ll keep a list of your freebies by the register. My name is Cole and if you girls need anything, I’m here for you. And those three Sexes on the Beach are from me.”

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” said Corrine.

“Thanks Cole,” said Debbie. “That’s perfect. I’m Debbie. This is Shewuma. And this is Corrine. The Birthday Girl.”

“Happy Birthday, Corrine. Enjoy Bordertown.” Cole was beaming.

They drank for free and talked and laughed to the music of the Flatland Cavalry, all the while fending off wannabe suitors. An impromptu darts game with some frat boys was won easily by Shewuma. Debbie put in for the pool table rotation. Her considerable pool skills combined with the computer chip in her head, won her every game until she quit because no one else would play her. A ruckus almost started when two men asked the girls to join them against the objections of their recent pickups. The Hot Bitches turned them down, but the four left in a heated exchange anyway, so they took the table. Cole the bartender joined them on his break. He offered to teach them the Cowboy Boogie Line Dance and they took him up on it. Within a few minutes they had it and the whole dance floor joined in.

A stocky Samoan man in a Hawaiian shirt carrying a pool cue case and wearing a Louden hat came in and surveyed the room. He spotted Debbie and walked straight over to the edge of the dance floor. She was curious when he motioned for her to come over. “I’ll be right back,” she said to Wu.

He introduced himself as Keola and told her he shot pool for a living. Word had reached him that Debbie could play well, and he hurried over to challenge her before she left. He offered Debbie a game of Nine Ball. The nine ball at $100. The five ball at $50. She thought about it and replied, “Thanks, but I don’t gamble. I play for fun.”

“My impression from reports was that you are a hustler,” he responded.

“Your reports. Huh.” Debbie turned to leave and he grabbed her arm. She went against his thumb and reversed the grip. Then sent him to one knee with a wrist lock.

Shewuma watched them for a minute amused. Now he knew. Piss off Debbie and pay the price. Corrine pulled Wu back into the Cowboy Boogie.

It was getting late and the place was winding down. Debbie could tell that Corrine was pretty drunk, pretty tired, and pretty happy. “Bitches,” said Corrine, “this is the most fun I’ve had since I was in Hawaii in 2000. Thanks.” A funny expression crossed her face and they both looked to see what caused it. A big hulking man in jeans and a black vest with greasy long hair was walking toward their table. He plowed through the middle of the dance floor rudely moving people out of his way. “Shit,” said Corrine. “That guy’s name is Axel and he’s trouble. I’ve seen him kicked out of bars where we were playing before.”

“He’s coming over here for sure,” said Wu.

“Just ignore him,” said Corinne. “He’ll go away.”

Axel walked up to the table next to Shewuma, but his eyes were fixed on Corrine. “You sing with that band, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, I do,” she answered politely.

“You sing really good,” he said.

“Well,” corrected Debbie.

“What?” He looked at her.

“You sing really well,” she repeated.

He turned back to Corinne. “How about humming a few bars on this?” Then he grabbed his junk, shook it at her and laughed.

Axel never saw the punch that knocked the wind out of his lungs. He gasped for air as the Indian girl pushed him across the floor and onto a bar stool. When he could breathe again, he saw the Indian sitting back down with the girls at the table. Back in control, he stood and looked around. No one seemed to notice. Rage began to build in him. But the eyes of the Indian and the blonde watching him were somehow intimidating. He considered his options and just left.

When they decided it was time to leave, Debbie asked for the check. The waitress told them they owed nothing. Wu and Corrine high fived across the table.

As they walked to the car, Corrine went on and on about their fun birthday night. Debbie whispered to Wu, “He’s waiting for us.”

“I know. I got it,” Wu whispered.

As Debbie retrieved the car key from her boot, Shewuma could smell Axel’s B.O. approaching. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him pointing a revolver in Corrine’s direction. She needed to get him alone. Axel walked up and put his arm around Shewuma’s neck. Waving the revolver back and forth between Debbie and Corrine, he said, “I wanted you,” as he tipped the barrel at Corrine. “But now I’m taking this one. I owe her.”

This freak had no idea who he was dealing with. Wu knew right then that he had to die. Debbie would want her to be discreet. With fake fear she said, “Oh! I’m sorry about earlier, Big Boy. Please don’t hurt me. Let’s go party.”

He backed up into the darkness, pulling Shewuma with him. “Yeah. We’re going to party alright, Bitch.”

When they were out of sight, Corrine went for her phone to call the police. “It’s okay, Babe,” Debbie reassured her. “She’ll be back in a minute.”

Across the lot they heard a gunshot and saw a flash of light. Corrine jumped. Debbie put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. A few seconds later, Wu walked up and said, “Can you believe that sorry piece of shit shot himself?”

“He must have grown despondent with his lifestyle. What a stroke of luck,” said Debbie. Corrine was in a surreal quandary. Was he really dead? What should they do. Debbie and Wu convinced her that leaving quickly was the best option. The three hugged and they left. Driving down the deserted highway at ninety MPH and recounting the highlights of the night, Axel the asshole was quickly forgotten. As Corrine declared it the best birthday ever, a police siren blared and lights flashed behind them. Debbie put the 1975 modified Trans Am into overdrive and got a wheel as the sirens receded in the distance.

In the police car, the officer in the passenger seat said, “Jesus Christ, George! What have they got in that thing? Did you get a plate or anything?”

“No,” said George. “Screw it. I’m hungry. We could never catch them in this POS anyway.” He slowed for the next right turn to the all-night diner.

Jimmy woke up on the sectional couch where he had fallen asleep waiting for the girls. He put the pillow back in the linen closet and peeked through the door of the small bedroom. Shewuma was sleeping peacefully. Wearing his boxers, he went for a glass of water in the kitchen. Debbie came in from out back. He intercepted her in the great room and dipped her with a kiss. “You didn’t wake me.”

“You were sleeping so soundly. I’ve been in the barn hanging with the horses. Milly is pregnant.” They walked back to the kitchen.

“Wow. Isn’t she kind of old to have a baby?” He started pulling out the makings for Corrine’s birthday carrot cake.

“Apparently not.”

“What kind of colt will a bay and a chestnut make?”

Debbie ran it through the computer chip in her brain. “Statistically, it will most likely be a bay, 15 % chance of a chestnut, and a 1.7 % chance of it being black. What did Corrine want for breakfast?”

“Eggs Benedict,” said Jimmy.

“Cool. It’s been a while.”

“For lunch she wants Reuben sandwiches and onion rings. I already have the brisket in the smoker. For dinner she wants macaroni and cheese. Not the easy kind. Mom’s recipe.”

“Oh, Wu is going to love that.”

Jimmy began shredding carrots by hand. “How did last night go?”

“It was interesting. We had a ball. Then before we left, Wu had to kill a guy.”

“Gosh, you can’t take her anywhere,” Jimmy joked. Then he asked seriously, “How did Corrine take that?”

“She was fine. He earned it, believe me.”

“What happened?”

“A local asshole named Axel. Corrine knew who he was. He was being a real dick in the bar. Wu gut punched him. Later in the parking lot, he came after Wu with a pistol. Next thing you know he shot himself.”

Jimmy added some crushed pineapple to the carrots and mixed it. “Yep, he earned it alright.”

“Jimsy, have you ever thought about how many people we’ve killed since July?”

“Not really. Why?”

“It just seems like we’re so nonchalant about death now.”

“Do you think we killed somebody that we shouldn’t have?”

“No. Never mind.”

“Debs,” he said as he turned and placed his hands on her shoulders, “doing what you have to for survival and accepting it is not being nonchalant.”

“True enough. But what about killing for revenge?”

He started on the batter. “Nietzsche said, That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

“What does that have to do with my question?”

“Nothing really. I was just trying to impress you.”

She punched his shoulder. “I’m serious.”

“Hey,” he shrugged, “you do what you can and then you live with it.”

“I guess.” She said introspectively.

Jimmy picked up the Pyrex bowl and poured the batter into the cake pans. “Here, let me help you,” said Debbie, working the rubber spatula. “Four layers instead of three?”

“Better icing to cake ratio. Corrine likes things sweet.”

“As do all of you Deep Creekers,” said Debbie. She slapped his ass. “I like you cooking in your underwear.”

He started to put the first two in the oven but stopped and said with a gleam in his eye, “Let’s wake up Wu and do things to her.”

“Let’s do it, Creeker Boy.” She ran to the bedroom and he chased after her.

**********

The Eggs Benedict breakfast was a success. Hollandaise sauce could be tricky, but it turned out perfect. Corrine was delighted to learn that her chores were covered for the day. Jimmy would take care of the chickens and collect the eggs. Debbie and Wu would feed, water, let out the livestock and clean the stalls. Daniel would tend the winter garden. And they would all take turns chopping wood until there was enough to last until New Year’s. With the morning free, Corrine decided to take a bubble bath and then work on a new song she was writing.

Lunch was just what she ordered: Reuben sandwiches piled high with corned beef and sauerkraut, onion rings on the side. Afterward everyone went to the great room to relax and maybe have a highball. Then Jimmy walked out with the four-layer carrot cake with cream cheese icing and four candles, one for each full decade Corrine had been alive. They sang Happy Birthday and she blew out the candles to applause and whistles. Then came the presents. No one thought Dermott would come through. But he gave her a $25 gift card to Olive Garden.

“I love Olive Garden,” she said, thanking him. Then a big one. David E., Shewuma, Debbie, and Jimmy had chipped in together and bought her a new Epiphone acoustic/electric twelve-string guitar. It was common knowledge that she quit playing her other twelve-string. It was an old, cheaper model and the neck had started to move. It was hard to play and even harder to tune. She took the guitar and immediately went into one of her own blues songs, “Losing the Music.” When she finished, everyone clapped while she went around the room hugging them.

“You sing like an angel,” Jimmy whispered to her and she kissed his cheek.

After cake and chocolate milk, Daniel stood in front of Corrine holding a small, wrapped present. He went down on one knee in front of his wife and the room became silent. “We had only been together for one month when I asked you to marry me. And the only thing I could afford for an engagement ring was that little chip that you still wear.” He handed her the gift and she opened it frantically.

Inside was a white gold band with a two-carat diamond in the center and a smaller diamond on either side. He slipped it on Corrine’s finger and she burst into tears. As he stood, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. “It’s so beautiful,” she said through sobs.

“Not nearly as beautiful as you,” he said back. Oohs and aahs were heard around the room. Corrine whispered in his ear. Daniel walked past the kitchen toward the bedroom. Looking at everyone over his shoulder and showing off her new ring, Corrine said, “We’ll be back in a while. I just want to see what this ring looks like without any clothes on.”

Dinner was a Deep Creek favorite: chuck roast with carrots, onions, and celery. The meat liquor made a rich savory gravy. There were also mashed potatoes and Deep Creek style macaroni and cheese. For sopping up the gravy, there was ciabatta bread. After dinner, Corrine rubbed her stomach and said, “I’m so full. I think I ate more today than I have all year.” She stood and made a statement. “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had. I love you guys.” They cleared the table and played poker while drinking shots of Jack Black well into the night.

One day closer to the end of the world, thought Debbie.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORINNE!”

***********