Spoof

2/15/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I hope you are well and aren’t going crazy since the virus shut the school down.

-Targetboy

2/17/2019

Dear Stargazer,

It’s been a few days of silence. I thought about documenting my days since the school closed, but I fear it wouldn’t be interesting to read.

Hope you’re well,

-Targetboy

2/19/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I heard the school has moved to online work, darn. Part of me is glad because it gives me something to do, but I don’t really want to do homework. You must be thrilled. I know how much you love learning.

-Targetboy

2/21/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I never thought I’d miss school this much, but I miss seeing my friends in the hallway. I miss seeing you in the hallway. I know we’re not friends, but I thought I’d extend friendship toward you during these trying times.

-Targetboy

2/22/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I have a feeling you like stars. Have you gazed at them recently?

-Targetboy

2/22/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Who are you?

Are you stalking me?

It’s been boring but I’m glad school started again.

How are you doing? And who are you?

Either you can read my mind (email), or you’re a stalker. No, I haven’t seen them in a while. Haven’t had the time.

-Stargazer

2/22/2019

Dear Stargazer,

Neither, I just get feelings about people. You should take the time to see them. Now that we don’t have to rise before the sun, it would be a perfect time go star gazing.

-Targetboy

2/23/2019

Dear Targetboy,

I should. It’s my turn though. You either love Target or you frequent a range.

-Stargazer

2/23/2019

Dear Stargazer,

Can’t say I’m fond of either. Right now, I’m invisible, but life is an open field. I’ll be the target. There are so many opportunities for me to shine. I’m just waiting for my moment.

-Targetboy

2/24/2019

Dear Targetboy,

If you could envision the perfect time to shine, what would it look like?

-Stargazer

2/24/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I imagine it would look something like this.

-Targetboy

2/25/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Who are you?

-Stargazer

2/25/2019

Dear Stargazer,

A friend. Admirer. A comfort for the lonely.

-Targetboy

2/25/2019

Dear Targetboy,

I’m not lonely.

-Stargazer

2/25/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I am.

-Targetboy

2/27/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Who are you? Do I know you?

-Stargazer

2/27/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I’ve been told girls like mystery and I fear you won’t like the answer.

-Targetboy

2/28/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Let me be the judge of that. You seem like a nice guy, why wouldn’t I like the answer?

-Stargazer

3/1/2019

Dear Stargazer,

Why don’t we play a game? I’ll ask some questions and you answer, then you ask me questions and I’ll answer. You can’t ask who I am though, not yet.

-Targetboy

3/2/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I’ll start.

1.    What is your favourite colour?

2.    What do you do for fun?

3.    How are you doing during this “quarantine”?

4.    How big is your family?

5.    What’s your favourite subject?

6.    What is your favourite book? Who is your favourite author?

7.    Why is that book/author you favourite?

8.    If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

9.    Who do you miss the most?

Now you answer and ask me questions.

-Targetboy

3/2/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Why are you emailing me anyway?

-Stargazer

3/2/2019

Dear Stargazer,

If you want me to stop, just tell me and I will.

-Targetboy

3/3/2019

Dear Targetboy,

1.    I love teal, but the tone on the greener side.

2.    I love to dance when no one is watching.

3.    Being home for so long is hard.

4.    I have five older siblings, but none live at home anymore.

5.    History. It’s fascinating to learn about the past.

6.    That’s two questions in one. My favorite book is In the Shadow of the Banyan. I don’t have a favorite writer, but I do like Kate Morton.

7.     My favorite book is a historical fiction novel and that’s what makes it so powerful. The story follows a girl and how she loses her innocence and family members to evil, but the evil is humans. I could talk about it all day.

8.    I would go to Florida about seven years ago.

9.    My family seven years ago. I miss my aunt, she moved to California years ago.

-Stargazer

3/3/2010

Dear Stargazer,

I’ve never heard of that book, sounds interesting. Why seven years ago? Don’t forget you get to ask me questions.

-Targetboy

3/4/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Seven years ago, my parents laughed together. Now all they do is argue. Anyway, here are my questions.

1.    What’s your favorite color?

2.    Why won’t you tell me who you are?

3.    Who are you?

4.    What do you do for fun?

5.    How are you doing despite the craziness?

6.    Why hide who you are?

7.    Tell me something no one else knows.

-Stargazer

3/4/2019

Dear Stargazer,

My favourite colour is dark green and I watch movies for fun. This craziness is okay, I’m grateful for the solitude. It does get boring sometimes, but I have a big family. As for something no one else knows; I am adopted because my mum didn’t want me. I haven’t told you who I am because I want you to get to know me.

-Targetboy

3/5/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Dark green is an honorable shade. I love movies, but the best era was the 1800-1900s. I love those “old” films. They’re classics. I wish I had solitude and I miss my siblings.

I don’t believe your mom didn’t want you. Do you know that for sure?

I'm glad to know you.

-Stargazer

3/5/2019

Dear Stargazer,

My parents love “classic” films. I guess I don’t really know. Maybe she just couldn’t take care of me. I don’t resent her for it, but I get insecure.

I’m glad to know that.

-Targetboy

3/6/2019

Dear Targetboy,

Will you tell me who you are? Since you know who I am, it only seems fair.

-Stargazer

3/6/2019

Dear Stargazer,

I just wanted a friend.

-Targetboy

3/6/2019

Dear Targetboy,

We are friends.

-Stargazer

3/6/2019

Dear Alice,

I’m sorry.

-Brady Gutman

3/10/2019

Dear Alice,

I was afraid you wouldn’t talk to me again. That’s why I didn’t tell you.

-Brady

3/22/2019

Dear Alice,

I’m sorry. I wanted you to see who I am, not who I was.

-Brady

4/1/2019

Dear Alice,

This is my last email to you. I understand. Thank you for the small measure of friendship you gave to me. Thank you for your trust and I am truly sorry.

-Brady

4/18/2019

Dear Brady,

You humiliated me in front of the school. How could I forgive you?

You were the reason I was pulled out for a year.

You are the reason I am lonely. The reason I have ONE friend and everyone else mocks me.

Do you think this is a game? Are you trying to find more fodder for humiliation?

Don’t talk to me again.

If your intentions are pure, I forgive you. I am not foolish enough to trust you though. I am angry you tricked me and even if I understand the reasoning, I still don’t like it.

-Alice

4/18/2019

Dear Alice,

Thank you for responding. I want to make it up to you. I want to be your friend, seriously.

-Brady

4/21/2019

Dear Brady,

IF I agree, and I’m not saying I will, I need proof of this. You have to show me.

-Alice

4/21/2019

Dear Alice,

Anything.

-Brady

4/21/2019

Dear Brady,

Why did you embarrass me our sophomore year?

-Alice

4/21/2019

Dear Alice,

It was a dare. The upper class dared me to pick a sophomore and prank her. Once I did, I’d be in their group. I swear that was the only reason.

-Brady

4/22/2019

Dear Brady,

That was a loser move. You still have to prove you’re telling me the truth about wanting to be friends.

-Alice

4/22/2019

Dear Alice,

Tell me what I have to do, and I will do it.

-Brady

4/25/2019

Dear Brady,

Email the entire student body, asking for my forgiveness.

-Alice

4/26/2019

Dear Alice (and everyone else),

I am emailing you all to say one thing. To ask one thing. I require Alice Montie’s forgiveness. Please, Alice, forgive my error in judgment. Forgive my stupid sophomore prank. I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I am asking anyway.

-Brady Gutman: 2019’s guy to forgive

4/27/2019

Dear Brady,

I am willing to give you a temporary friendship permit.

-Alice

4/27/2019

Dear Alice,

My inbox has been flooded with emails. From insults to congratulations. I am honoured to accept that permit.

I heard the lockdown was ending next week. We should get together, celebrate freedom and friendship.

-Brady

4/28/2019

Dear Brady,

I wish I could. I’m in the hospital. I’ll be out of town next week.

-Alice

4/28/2019

Dear Alice,

When are you coming back? And when will you be free?

-Brady

4/29/2019

Dear Brady,

I should be back in a couple weeks. Let's shoot for the end of May.

-Alice

4/29/2019

Dear Alice,

End of May it is. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe we could video chat sometime soon. It might be awkward at first, but I think it’ll be okay.

-Brady

5/2/2019

Dear Alice,

It’s been a few days since I’ve heard from you. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t having second thoughts.

-Brady

5/10/2019

Dear Alice,

Are you still out-of-town? No has heard from you in a while and I even asked Camilla (don’t ask me how it went, cause it was awful).

-Brady

5/15/2019

Dear Alice,

I am growing concerned. I completely understand if you revoked the permit, but please just contact me, even if it’s just to insult me. I don’t care, please just respond.

-Brady

5/25/2019

Dear Alice,

I am going to keep emailing you until you respond. Even if they’re short and don’t say much.

-Brady

5/27/2019

Dear Alice,

I don’t believe it. The quarantine was supposed to be a joke! A spoof of the media. Please, just respond so I know it’s all a joke.

-Brady

6/1/2019

Dear Alice,

I am so sorry. My regret is not reaching out to you sooner.

-Brady

6/25/2019

Dear Alice,

I went to your funeral. I brought Daisy’s, I heard they were your favourite.

-Brady

8/10/2019

Dear Alice,

School starts in just over a week. It will be weird not seeing you. Camilla is bringing Daisy’s on the first day in your honour and she invited me to join. I’m bringing Daisy’s just for you and I wish you were there to receive them.

-Brady

8/20/2019

Dear Alice,

The first day was hard. Camilla cried all day. She We wish you were here.

-Brady

11/20/2019

Dear Alice,

I know it’s been a while. It gets harder and harder for me to write. Every time I pull up my email I remember you won’t ever respond. I just wanted to say thank you for your forgiveness and your friendship, even though it was brief. Camilla and I are friends now and I wanted to thank you for that. Being there for her has helped me to feel less guilty about what I did to you.

Your dear friend,

Brady