My grandpa's deathbed secret:

Submitted into Contest #55 in response to: Write a story about an old family secret surfacing generations later.... view prompt

4 comments

General

I had been in the middle of my exam in school, when I got the news, my grandfather was very ill and the doctors were saying that he wouldn't live through the night. I went home immediately to be with my grandfather in his last hours, little did I know that his last few hours would change my life completely. When I arrived home, my dad was sitting in a chair outside my grandfather's room, however he strangely didn't seem to look that upset. My mom was nowhere to be seen so I pushed the door open and went inside. Dad didn't react or show any indication that he had seen me. He just sat there, with his hands on his lap, staring blankly at wall in front of him. It was very strange but I didn't think too much about it and stepped inside the room in which my grandfather was. He was lying down on a narrow hospital bed, with a mess of tubes and wires beside him. I cautiously stepped towards him, which seemed to awaken him. He opened his eyes and tried, but failed to sit up. He opened his mouth and let out a hoarse cough and beckoned with his hands for me to come closer. I walked up to him and took a seat on a chair near the bed. " I am sorry, my boy. I am sorry that I failed you a long time ago.", said my grandfather. " What are you talking about, why are you sorry?", I asked, confused. " I failed you", repeated my grandfather. "Your future was decided for you long before you were even born", he said. " I don't understand what you are saying", I said, even more confused than I was before. So my grandfather started telling me the story of the ancient secret of our family, a secret so old that most didn't even remember it. " Long ago, long before even my great grandfather was born, our ancestors played a game. A game to call upon the spirits of the dead. They played it and everything seemed to be going well, until they realised what they had summoned. They had foolishly thought that they had summoned a harmless little spirit, but hey were wrong. so, so, wrong. For it wasn't a spirit that they had let into our world, but a demon. An evil, scheming, bloodthirsty demon, who was hungry for souls, who fed on the terror and despair of others. A demon so terrible, that all the lesser spirits quaked before him. The demon preyed upon those who had summoned him, but one managed to escape with the help of one the spirits which had also appeared when they had summoned the demon. The boy who managed to escape met with a priest and convinced him to help. The priest and the spirit combined their power and trapped the demon in a sarcophagus, where he lay, sleeping.", my grandfather said, seemingly having finished his story, but he continued the story, his voice now hoarse after talking so much. "The demon lay sleeping for many, many years, until four foolish, foolish boys decided to invite him in again. The demon arose, hungrier than ever now, and tried to devour us. However, the friends were wiser and had protected themselves with salt. The demon was stronger than they had anticipated and it managed to catch one of the friends. It tortured the boy. The boys couldn't bear to hear their friend screaming in pain, so they made a deal with the demon. We said that we would let the demon have to soul of our relatives when we died.", my grandfather's voice broke as he said "We had no choice, our friend was dying before us ", he said as a tear rolled down his cheek. I was shocked and a feeling of dread settled in the bottom of my stomach. I didn't know what to think. "Grandfather, why did you start calling the four friends as we?", I asked, praying that it had been a mistake. " Because it was us. It was my friends and I who awoke the demon, who made a deal with it. And now, today I am going to pay for my foolishness. Everyone I care about will be taken from me and then I will die full of regret and my soul will be feasted on by the demon." Grandfather, what are you talking about?!", I asked, my voice rising. " The demon will come today, it will come for you all and feast on you. He is already here, don't you hear him? He has come to collect you. Your mother and father are already gone", said my grandfather, just as I heard thudding footsteps coming towards my grandfather's room. " You are scaring me, what are you talking about? I don't want to die! Where are mom and dad?" I asked hysterically, the footsteps outside the door got louder and louder. " My grandfather just started at the door and said " He's here", just as the door swung open. I slowly turned and my very blood turned cold at what I behold. There was a creature standing before me. Not the kind of creature you would think, but rather a creature in disguise, for who stood before me was a man. A handsome, young man. It was human and as normal as could be, but its eyes and its hands, those were what gave it away. It had dark, depthless eyes , full of bloodlust and violence and terror. Its long slender hands were tipped in claws, black, shiny claws. I didn't know what to do, as far as i knew the creature was a demon who had come to claim my soul. I could not fight with an all powerful demon, so I racked me brains on anything that might help me against this demon. All the while, the demon stared at me with a cold, cruel smile etched across its face. Suddenly, I remembered the spirit my grandfather had told me about the spirit which had helped his ancestor trap the demon. But I didn't know anything about how to summon spirits. I looked toward my grandfather for help, but is eyes were distant and glassy. Panic, which should have entered me long ago, started clouding my senses. Just as I started losing hope, the demon started walking towards me and then it lifted a hand towards me. Suddenly, someone approached from behind with a necklace wrapped around his hand. It was my father! " Run!", he screamed,pointing the necklace at the demon. A strong, blue light fell on the creature and it screamed. I recognised the necklace as one of our family heirlooms, it had always been locked up and I had only seen it one or twice, but I remembered it. "Go to the store room and retrieve the Coldo Board Game and start playing it. It is the only way you can summon the spirit which can help us.", said my dad while distracting the demon. I was going to argue saying that I wouldn't leave him but I understood that it was only way to save us all. I ran as fast as I could, faster than I had ever run before. I finally reached the storeroom, an old dusty room of the house which nobody ever used at all. I rushed inside and started frantically searching for it. I finally found it, dumped under a bunch of old books on witchcraft. Inside the box in which it came in, there was an ancient piece of paper regarding the instructions on how to play. I read it as fast as I could and chucked the sheet aside. I didn't know how long my father would last against the demon and I needed to go as fast as I could. I started playing the game, I rolled the dice and said, "Tom Tom, come back home." Nothing happened. So I tried again and again. Finally, all the pieces of the board game shifted to the side that said coming. I rushed back to the room in which my father was battling the demon. The demon was sitting above my father's dead body and it looked up when I came inside. It smiled and said," Who did you think you summoned inside your world, my brothers are as hungry as I am. Dreadful realisation hit me as I realised what I had done. I had just let the demon's brothers inside. The door behind me swung open.

August 20, 2020 14:46

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4 comments

Paula Dennison
17:25 Aug 24, 2020

You have quite an imagination and a knack for writing adventurous type genre. My recommendations echo the comments from Mustang Patty regarding sentence and paragraph structure. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.

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Anjani Mukund
16:21 Aug 30, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback! It is much appreciated.

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Mustang Patty
07:01 Aug 24, 2020

Hi there, A sad tale, and a familiar theme in this week's contest. So many grandparents had deep, dark secrets. I did notice some errors in sentence and paragraph structure, as well as issues with the comma. Just a few techniques I think you could use to take your writing to the next level: READ the piece OUT LOUD. You will be amazed at the errors you will find as you read. You will be able to identify missing and overused words. It is also possible to catch grammatical mistakes – such as missing or extra commas if you read with ...

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Anjani Mukund
16:18 Aug 30, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely check out your website and would love to read a few of your stories!

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