The vampire costume

I'd never seen Kelly so restless.

Chocolate bars and jelly beans sat comfortably in a bowl right under the light of the little jack o'lantern we carved together. She looked beautiful under its light as well. That's why I loved looking at her while she stood outside.

She smiled just like an angel. Her white hand softly picked a chocolate and slipped it in every kid's bag. She then asked, with the most enchanting voice, "What's your favorite color?".

She would then proceed to take a jelly bean of the color they said and hand it to them. She would make a great mother, wouldn't she?

She kept running back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen, occasionally running to the door to give the children their treats. Her make up was almost done. She was turning herself into a vampire for the party later. She'd never told me she was into those kind of things. In fact I didn't even know she liked to party. Not like I'd ever let her go if she told me that. Especially dressed like that.

Her dress was a disaster! It was long, but it had a slit from the bottom up to her thigh. It was also quite revealing on the chest.

She rushed to the bathroom again, and started working on concealing the bruises on her neck.

"Thank God the kids didn't notice." she muttered.

Her face flinched in pain with every touch. I'd never seen her in so much pain. Well, it's not like she would allow herself to be weak in front of me.

She came back in the kitchen and looked at my face. I don't know if she could tell I was looking at her, but she locked her eyes on mine. She approached me and touched my hand. "Come on..." she said softly. "I know it's a bit much for you, but you have to be proud for me. I'm finally owning my body, you know!". She walked backwards and sat herself on the kitchen counter. "The first time I'm dressing up for myself and not for you." she giggled. The doorbell rang. She was gone again.

After that, she headed to the bathroom again. I was glad she didn't come in the kitchen again. Whenever she talks to me it feels like everything becomes real.` I don't like it when things become real. I prefer it like this. A silent movie. A pretty girl, my lovely Kelly, making herself beautiful, dancing between the door, the kitchen and the bathroom as if she lived in a big musical. I didn't mind standing here and watching it. I think this was the first time I'd ever seen her so happy. She looked powerful. She looked... free.

She came into the kitchen one last time that night. She crouched over my immobile naked body, and ran her fingers over the slit on my neck. She then wiped it on her soft lips, staining them with my warm blood. The blood which had almost dried out. The blood which had stopped running through my body a couple of hours ago.

She winked. "A touch of realism." she whispered in my ear.

She got up and walked towards the door with steps that felt like they were part of a choreographed routine. She reached the door and took her keys.

"Goodbye, you controlling, abusive fuck!" she shouted, slammed the door, and left.

I was alone now.

They say when you die, you have to follow the light. I don't think it's the same for everyone, though. Because, I saw no light. I tried to follow Kelly, my figurative light, but I soon found out I couldn't move past our garden. I was trapped in our house.

She didn't come back alone. She brought a friend. A male friend. They made love.

It was much more passionate, much more intense than anything we used to do. She buried me in our garden the next morning.

She brought him home again the next day.

If I still had my eyes I guess I would be crying right now, I thought.

A couple of days later Kelly sold the house. It was lonely down there.

I kept thinking of her in her vampire costume. Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh on her.

I was quite disappointed at the fact that no one looked for me. Especially my dad. I followed in his steps, followed his advice. I lived like he wanted me to. It was the reason I got killed. And after everything, he never looked for me.

These days I keep looking for people to blame. My father, and how he treated my mother. Kelly, how she left me here alone, how she cheated on me. My mother, for abandoning me. Even my friends, for never calling me out on my abusive behavior.

It didn't take long for me to realize I was just projecting my flaws on other people. Not once were I ever thankful for the people in my life. It's too late to think about that at this point. I have no "thank you"s or "I love you"s left.

Now I'm down here, rotting. It's lonely. I wonder if anyone else is going to ever buy this house. I wonder if I'll ever get to "live" another Halloween. My blood doesn't run anymore. It can't help anyone finish their vampire costume. I doubt I'll ever see a more beautiful vampire though. A more beautiful smile, handing out candy. A more beautiful silhouette opening her legs wide to another man in our bed.

I did try to make my presence known. With a lot of effort I can move small things like paper towels or pillow cases. So, next Halloween, I'll be at least able to say "trick or... trick". It's not much but I'm tied here. And if that scares people away from this house, that's even better. It's mine now. A house of memories.

My mind, just like this house, was left haunted by visions of an ideal life. Visions of me.