Melody of Ocean

It has been 5 years since I started living on my own in this busy city of Tokyo. 5 years since me and my band members seperated paths. 

I had been vocalist in a well-to-do band. We weren't that bad, but we lacked certain things needed to maintain a band. So we had to seperate. Since then I had been working in a jazz bar as a bartendar. 

But ironically, even in this busy city, the feeling of loneliness had been looming over me like a dark shadow. It wasn't physical loneliness. I had friends with whom I could talk and go out drinking. But the feeling of solitude never left. It was buried deep inside and it made me feel empty.

What I desperately needed was a break.

So one morning, I packed my bags, took whatsoever i had earned and left my apartment.

I booked a cheap hotel on a beach side location. They say, broken or tired, feel the waves, the ocean has healing power.

Maybe that's why I chose ocean. Well, whatever the reason is I just hoped it was worth it.

When I reached there it was quite late. I went up to the reception ro ask for my room. But the receptionist told me that there were some mistakes and I had to share a room with someone. And that would cut the cost to half. Well, it was lucky for me as I have to save enough to last long. Also I had no problem sharing room with a stranger as long as they aren't some axemurderer. There's always that possibility.

I went up to my room and opened the door to find a woman, not more than 24, reading. She looked up at me, smiled and explained at how they called her and she had no problem sharing the room. The room had two beds so it was fine i guess.

I nodded and she returned to reading. 

I went up to the window and looked out. Vast ocean laid ahead of me, full of possibilities. The cool air hit my face, making me forget all my pain for the moment.

I smiled lightly to myself and turned around to find her gazing intently at me as if trying to memorise each and every flaws in my skin. 

She was fair and fine, but she was wierdly overdressed for this warm season. She was wearing a full sleeved shirt and full pants. Even though she had her shirt untucked, i could still see that she had a nice figure.

Moreover she didn't look like someone who could be an psychotic killer, which was a relief.

She slightly tilted her head like a confused puppy and asked, "It might seem stupid but are you by any chance Aki of 'Nostalgia' ?"

I was shocked by her question. I never expected anyone to recognise me or my band, after so many years in this far away land.

I nodded slightly and she smiled. I could see an affectionate look in her eyes, as if she had seen her long lost lover.

"Do you listen to them?"-I asked

"I love your music. Your music is literally the reason I am still alive. I wish you hadn't stopped making music" she said with a sad smile.

I was confused but didn't ask what she meant. Maybe that was some way the fangirls behave. I will never understand.

I rather said "Well, I am glad my music could help. I had to stop due to circumstances. But it was a good experience."

She smiled and returned to her book.

Then there was a knock on the door. It was for dinner. 

I asked if she wanted to come but she denied. 

I went down to the large hall full of people, collected to have dinner.

After dinner, I went out to the beach. 

The cold wind brushed against my face. I had followed my heart and it brought me here, to the ocean. Suddenly I felt more alive than I had ever been.

I closed my eyes and her smiling face appeared before me. She had pretty eyes, but they seem to have lost their glint.

I sighed and put her out of my head.

I spent next few days on the beach and roaming around. It was a nice change, but the loneliness never ceased.

I also got to know quite a lot about her. Her name was Akagi Rei. She studied arts and music and has a job. She had saved quite something and decided to take a trip just like me. She was quiet type. She went down to dinner only after others were done. Guess she hated crowd. She hardly ever left the room.

She used to read all the time. I never read much, so I have no idea about them. I wondered if she always carried these books along, but never asked.

The only wierd thing was how she wore so much clothes.I never knew the reason could change my life.

That day I found a pack of cigerattes and decided to smoke. I didn't smoke very often, just sometimes to release stress or to distract myself.

Rei look up from her book at the burning cigarette in my hand and flinched, but didn't say anything. I guessed she might be one of those who hated cigerattes. I puffed a few times and threw the half burnt cigarette out of the window. 

I turned towards her and was surprised to see her getting pale. I asked if she was okay. She nodded and smiled but I could sense something.

A few moment later I heard a knock. I looked at her and she shook her head. I nodded and left.

Later that night, I woke up to small sniffles in the room. I looked around for the noise. 

The room was washed in moonlight entering through the window. There stood a maiden infront of it, seemingly glowing. She turned towards me, eyes full of tears.

She approached me and sat on my bed.

I straightened and was going to ask what's wrong when she did the unthinkable.She unbuttoned her shirt and slid the collar down exposing her shoulder. I was shocked at first but then noticed a mark there. It was like it had burnt.

"Do you know Aki-kun, what mark it is? It's a burn mark, cigeratte burn."

I looked at her eyes which were glistening with tears. 

She continued, "Two years ago, I was engaged to this man. At first it was fine, but slowly he started being possessive. He didn't let me talk to anyone despite him being with several partners. Among human emotions, nothing is worse than jealousy and pride and he seemed to suffer from both. He would come home home drunk and beat me. I was weak, i couldn't resist."

"In those dark days, my only confort was your music. They would give me unexplainable warmth and sense of security. And maybe a bit of courage."

"And that's what helped me to escape. I ran away. As far as I could, from him. I had saved enough, so I travelled. I took a few clothes and books. They were my only companions other than the music."

Her tranquil gaze rendered me speechless. She looked like a goddess in the bright moonlight. I wondered how cruel and kind the world can be at a same time. 

I was brought out of the trance when she kissed me. And I kissed her back. It was like a spell binding us together. I knew I was doing the right thing.

That night, I had embraced her. It was not out of love or lust, but like i was showing her respect for how brave she had been. 

I looked at her. Her eyes had an extraordinary shine, no longer sad and dull.

"Stay" I murmured. She didn't reply. I held her close but I couldn't be at rest. Finally I fell asleep with her in my arms.

It was late in the morning when I woke up. I remember everything from last night quite vividly.

I looked around but couldn't find her. But I wasn't surprised. Even though a small part of mine was expecting she will stay i knew it wasn't possible.

I didn't try to look for her. I knew I can't find her. She was gone. And I had to let her go.

That evening I took a long stroll at the beach, listening to my old music. It was kinda good, I wished I had made more. 

The setting sun had painted the sea in shades of crimson. Ocean is an eternal being who is the witness of our transient pride and ego. This vast water, full of mysteries laid ahead of us, but how much us, naive humans will ever know? 

She was like the ocean, mysterious, beautiful, wild and free. I suddenly felt how I am not lonely anymore. I felt a warmth in the corner of my heart. She had left a part of her with me. 

I kept walking.