To Endure Whatever Comes

Everything looked perfect. The food was ready to eat, the dining room table was set, and the candles had all been lit. Jordan knew his wife deserved nothing but the best. And tonight, that’s exactly what he planned to give her. 

Caroline was the type of woman that just couldn’t imagine putting herself first. She was always helping somebody out, whether it was at the hospital where she worked or in her free time. Countless wounded animals had been taken in and nursed back to health by her. She even anonymously covered the costs of a funeral for a widowed woman’s late husband. A woman she had never even met but had heard of. Caroline had been from a well-to-do family and barely used any of her inheritance on herself. She had such a giving heart and that’s what Jordan loved the most about her. 

Valentines Day had been their favorite holiday to celebrate together. All his life, Jordan had always thought of it as just another day but that changed when he began dating Caroline. As February rolled around, she became super excited. She loved the concept of romance. And all of her excitement was contagious. For the first time ever, Jordan soon found himself looking forward to the fourteenth as well. He had went all out that day. He had purchased the customary flowers and candy but didn’t stop there. He rented a movie that she liked for them to watch and prepared her favorite foods for dinner. After they had both eaten, they began to slow dance right there in his living room. Jordan didn’t even remember what song was playing though because all his focus was on her. Whenever she was around, everything else seemed to fade away. It was on that night, that he first told her that he loved her. And exactly one year later, he had asked her to marry him. It made the holiday even more special for them both.

“Wow. You’ve really outdone yourself this year, Jory. I’m impressed.” A voice said from behind him. 

Turning to look, he saw his wife suddenly standing before him. He didn’t even hear her approach but then again he usually didn’t. She managed to catch him by surprise quite often in the way that she moved so quiet and gracefully. Never having to try to either. It just came naturally to her. 

He smiled and walked over to her, embracing her tightly in his arms. She smelled of her signature scent which was a mixture of vanilla and lavender. Her long blonde hair fell in waves below her collarbone. And she wore a simple white knee-length dress that he loved so much. He always said she looked like an angel whenever she wore it. He wished he could hold her like this forever but ultimately she had broken away from him. 

“Let’s have dinner. I know you must be starving.” Caroline said. 

“Well, maybe just a little.” Jordan said with a chuckle. “I made your favorites.”

“I can see that. You didn’t miss a thing.” 

“No ma’am. Everything’s all here.”

He pulled out his wife’s chair as she sat down and Jordan began to fill his plate eagerly. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this excited for dinner. The table was filled with dishes of different Southern Barbecue food that Caroline had always loved and a giant pitcher of sweet tea. Growing up in Georgia, she had eaten pulled pork and corn on the cob quite a bit. Jordan on the other hand was from New Hampshire and had only moved to the South a few years back. Eventually, he grew to love Southern cuisine the more he was exposed to it. He thought it was definitely a nice break away from clam chowder. 

“Oh look you even remembered the boiled peanuts!” Caroline exclaimed happily.

“And peach cobbler for dessert. I even picked up some vanilla ice cream to go on top, just the way you like.” 

“But did you make it for me or for you?” Caroline teased. She had made peace cobbler so much that overtime it became Jordan’s favorite dessert as well. “And you’ve never made it before how did you know how?” 

“Alright. I might have asked Judy for her recipe so I could make it myself from now on.” 

“Mama gave you her special recipe?”

“Well of course. I am her favorite in-law.” Jordan joked. “I’ve been talking to her a lot more lately especially when I miss you. Are you sure you can only stay until midnight?” 

Caroline grabbed his hand as tears began to fill her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I should know better than to ask questions like that. We should enjoy the few hours we have and be grateful for them.”

“I really wish things could be different Jory. But you’ve been so strong and brave. I’m proud of you.” Caroline said before clearing her throat, her plate empty. “So about that peach cobbler.”

“Coming right up.” Jordan said before heading to the kitchen. 

As soon as he was out of Caroline’s sight, he let a few tears spill down his face. He knew exactly why Caroline would have to leave soon and why she hadn’t had any food on her plate. The reason she could only watch as her husband ate. And it broke his heart each time he remembered. 

“Jordan?” His wife’s voice called from the dining room. He recognized the concern in her tone. She hadn’t called him by the nickname she made up for him. 

“Sorry, dear. I’m coming.” Jordan replied, as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He hurriedly prepared the cobbler and returned to the dining room. He hoped Caroline wouldn’t notice that he had been crying. 

“That certainly looks just like Mama’s cobbler. You’ll have to tell me if it tastes as good as it looks.”

He could only smiled sadly at her comment. He no longer had any appetite. Knowing she couldn’t even enjoy the special dinner he had worked very hard on, made his stomach hurt. But he didn’t want to upset Caroline while she was there. He forced himself to eat at least half of it. She must have sensed how hard he was trying for her, as she went over to sit on her husband’s lap. He simply sat there and held her for the longest time, thankful she was still able to be physically felt. It gave him an idea of what to do next. 

“I believe I owe you our traditional Valentine’s Day dance.” He said before carrying her into the living room. Standing her upright, he turned on the radio and held his hand out to her. She smiled as she accepted his outstretched hand and they began to sway softly to the music. Song after song played, the two dancing well into the night. Time seemed to fly by as the two reminisced about all the memories they shared together. 

“I remember you telling me how unromantic you were when we first began dating. Just look how far you’ve come now.” Caroline said.

“Well when you are blessed enough to be with Caroline Surrency, you really don’t have a choice. You either become the king of all things lovey-dovey or you run the risk of disappointing her. And letting down the most amazing woman in the world doesn’t sound too great now does it? So I chose to become the romance king.” Jordan said, smiling. 

This made Caroline raise her eyebrows and laugh. Jordan thought it had to be the most wonderful sound in the entire world. Even if it was at his expense.

“Ok so maybe not the king but prince right? Or maybe like a duke? Is that a thing? The Duke of Romance?” 

“Oh, Jory. The fact that you try so hard truly makes you the king.”

“Yes!” Jordan cheered. “And you’ll reign by my side forever, my Queen.” 

But as he said this, Caroline gave him a very worried look and ended their dance. He knew what she was about to say. It was the same thing she told him every Valentines Day for the last four years. 

“Have you given it anymore thought?” She asked him.

“Absolutely not and I really don’t care to discuss this right now. Or ever.”

“I know it’s not the most comfortable topic in the world but I know you must be lonely. And it wouldn’t be betrayal, Jordan, to learn how to love again. I just want you to be happy.”

“I don’t think I ever will be truly happy again and I’ve made peace with that. I haven’t felt anything since the day I lost you. I don’t really live just exist. So how can I even think about another woman? I’m sorry, Caroline. You know I would do anything for you but this is just out of the question. I can’t.”

“I understand. Every person experiences grief differently. Maybe some day you’ll change your mind and I need you to know that when you do, it won’t mean that the love we share will just disappear forever. Some things never die.” 

These words broke Jordan and tears he had tried so hard to contain, began to fall down his face. His wife held onto him as he fell apart. He usually was not one to cry but rather bottle everything he felt up. He found it easier to keep these things inside rather than share them with another person. But if he had to become vulnerable in front of anybody then he was glad that it was Caroline. And he had to admit, he had felt a lot better giving into his feelings for once. 

“You know we still have a few minutes left.” Jordan said, pulling himself together. “Wait here and I’ll go get your present.”

“But I thought the dinner and dancing was my present? It has been tradition for the last four years.”

“Well this year we’re breaking tradition. I’ll be right back.” He said before racing up the stairs. 

He came back with a beautifully wrapped pink and red package in his hands. He could hardly contain his excitement as he handed it over to her. 

“Thank you so much, darling. You didn’t have to get me anything. I always wish that I could get you something.”

“Just being here every year is the best gift you could give me. I know it’s only for a few hours every year but I’ve learned to cherish each second that we get to be together. Now open it, please, I’m about to burst.”

Ripping off the wrapping paper, she uncovered a rectangular black box. Opening it up, she instantly became overjoyed. 

“You found my locket?The one you gave me after we got married?” 

“I sure did. I was cleaning out the attic the other day and found it tucked away in a box of your old things. I actually came across it by accident. I tripped over an old phone cord and saw it hidden behind my Grandmother’s old antique dresser. The box probably fell behind there when your Daddy was helping us move in. I have the rest of your things in my room now for safe keeping.”

“I can’t believe it! Thank you for returning this to me. I was worried I would never see it again.” 

“May I?” Jordan asked, holding up the locket. She nodded her head in approval and he fastened the necklace around her neck. She looked at him with sheer delight and awe. It was exactly the reaction he had hoped for.

All too soon though their perfect evening had to come to an end. The clock began to signal that it was now midnight. Caroline would have to go back. She pulled in her husband for one last embrace. He hated this part the most each year but he knew they didn’t have any choice. He would have to let her go. 

“I love you so much.” He whispered to his wife, trying hard to be brave for her.

“And I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Jory.” She whispered back, being equally as brave for him. 

Stepping towards the fireplace, Caroline stood before several framed photos atop the mantle. She picked one of them up and held it tightly against her chest. The longer she held on to it, the more she began to fade away right before Jordan’s eyes. Back into the photograph she had came from.

Jordan picked it up off the carpet after she was gone. Placing it back on the mantle, he stared at it and sighed. It was taken on the best day of his life. The day he married Caroline. Right on a beach in Florida where they frequently vacationed, surrounded by all their family and friends. Both not wearing anything too fancy for a wedding. He simply wore khaki shorts and a white collared shirt. But she still managed to wow him with a plain white knee-length dress. The very same one she had been wearing this night. 

Upon a closer inspection, he saw something that made his heart skip a beat. Caroline’s neck was no longer bare in the photograph. She now wore the locket he had returned to her. He couldn’t help but smile to himself at the sight. Jordan finally understood the reason she was able to return to him every Valentine’s Day. Their everlasting love for each other. 

His wife had been right all along. Some things never die.