Bad Press

“Stop sending me that post!”

“Not until you agree with me! It’s perfect timing.” Tallon was relentless. 

“Okay, tell me about it again.” I was dicing carrots for next weeks beef barley soup. Tallon wiped her hands on her apron and started her pitch for Calgary’s Cookie Clusterf*ck.

“Each team brings a dozen cookies, twelve judges try all the cookies in a very top secret dramatic fashion.” She rushed through the logistics. “BUT, the winner... “ She paused dramatically, waiting for me to bite. “The WINNER gets an article in Canadian Living magazine AND twenty thousand dollars.” She suspended the end of her pitch in amazement, mouth agape in ridicule that I wasn't jumping up and down.

“Isn’t it this weekend?” I said skeptically.

“Sunday, but I mean we’re the best chefs in Canada right now, we can’t bake a batch of cookies?”  She said in a false confident tone. Tallon slipped her phone into the front pocket of her apron and went to wash her hands, she continued over her shoulder. “Look, it’s worth a try for the publicity. You’re working your ass off getting this place ready to open, an article spreading the word around can only help right?” 

***

“T-G-I-F Amy!” Caleb yelled at me from the living room. 

“T-G-I-F Caleb!” I replied as I smiled, and started putting dishes from the counter into the dishwasher before moving to the living room. Call of Duty was on the TV so I knew to wait for a pause.

“T-G-I-F” Caleb shouted again as he smiled and paused his game.

“T-G-I-F buddy,” I said sweetly to my brother who was perched on the couch, smudgy glasses askew on his scrunchy face, an Xbox controller held in both his hands. 

“My name is Caleb.” He corrected me, but he wasn’t mad. He preferred his name to any kind of nickname, even our parents couldn’t get away with a “buddy”, I must be tired. 

“Did you eat something, Caleb?” I knew he hadn’t been home from day home long.

“Yeah.” He replied softly, looking at the controller in his hands, his gumball vertebrae poking straight up to the ceiling from his gaming hunchback. “Can I play now?” he asked.

“Yes.” I got up and headed back to the kitchen, pulled my phone out of my purse, and called Tallon.

“Okay, I’m in.” Bypassing a hello, and moving my phone away from my ear to soften her shouts of excitement. “Tomorrow Caleb isn’t at day home so I need to bring him. He can help”

“...Do you think... he’ll be... okay, in the kitchen I mean?” Tallon tried to say this delicately with pauses and a soft inflection, but it was still hard to hear.

“Yeah Tallon, he’s a grown-ass man, he can bake cookies.” I snapped back. 

“I know, yeah, of course, sorry Aims. I’m pumped, seriously! Do you know what kind of cookies we’re making?”

“I dunno, something peanut butter... CALEB’S favorite.” Why am I like this, I thought to myself, I don’t need to be this defensive. She was forgiving though. 

“Perfect, mine too. I’ll pick you guys up tomorrow, we can go together, just text me when you’re ready.” An olive branch I gratefully accepted. 

“Okay, I will. See you tomorrow, T.” I hung up and walked back towards the living room, I could hear the TV on so I knew to wait for a commercial. Caleb was watching His Girl Friday, on the Classic Movie channel. Once Mr. Clean came on the TV, I knew I could talk to him. 

“Caleb, what do you think about helping me make cookies tomorrow?” I watched him. He didn’t turn to look at me, but I knew he was thinking about his answer. The commercial ended and moved on to a Nyquil ad.  

“Peanut butter” was all he said.

“Yeah, peanut butter.” I smiled at his dependability. “Do you remember Tallon?”

“Yes!” He yelled this, as he whipped his head around to look at me.

“Well, she’s going to pick us up tomorrow and help us make cookies too,” I said this as though Caleb hadn’t yelled, but I felt terrible. I did the same thing that Tallon did. Of course, he remembers her, he’s known her since grade school. She would come over and hang out with me nearly every day. I was kicking myself behind a stoic face as Caleb thought about this. His show was starting back up. 

“Ok,” he said hurriedly and with finality so that I would leave him. 

***

“Hi, Caleb!” Tallon said eagerly. 

“Nice day out there,” Caleb replied with one of his classic movie taglines that always made me laugh. I got into the front seat, Caleb sat in the back middle seat. I tried to discreetly check if he put his seatbelt on. I wish he would pick a side.

On the drive to the restaurant, Tallon told Caleb all about the Cookie Clusterf*ck contest. When Tallon swore to say the name, I met Caleb’s eyes in the mirror, he had let his mouth fall open in shock. I let him know with a small nod that it was okay. As Tallon went on a diatribe about the cookie competition we were up against, and how epic winning this contest would be, I started thinking about what cookie Tallon was imagining that could conquer the baking world.

“We need full tables for the next six months Aims, and this is the way to do it! I mean everyone and their sister reads Canadian Living.” Tallon was convincing herself that it was Clusterf*ck or bust.

When I didn’t say anything Caleb filled the quiet with “That’s the ticket!”

“Exactly! See Aims, Caleb is on board.” She was so satisfied, she beamed at him. Caleb smiled. 

***

“Honestly, it’s okay.” I was unsuccessfully consoling Tallon. Third place at Calgary’s Cookie Clusterf*ck brought dramatic tears. 

“It’s not. It’s not okay Amy.” She raised her head from between her hands, as I rubbed her back. I looked up at Caleb. He was sitting at our table eating the rest of the cookies that I had denied him all day. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Caleb likes our cookies.” They both looked at me. Tallon’s face would stop traffic, she wanted to kill me. 

“Don’t you get it, Amy, I’ve put everything into our restaurant, and if we don’t at least break even every month for the rest of the year, I’m dead, I literally won’t be able to eat, don’t you get that!” She was spiraling and getting louder. I was worried Caleb was going to bolt.

“We’re not in Kansas anymore!” Caleb yelled, squirming, and rocking back and forth from the noise. There was a bustling of people celebrating next to us. I guess Nancy’s Nummies won first place. I looked down at Tallon, she had just noticed Nancy too. 

“Ugh, let’s just go!” She stomped off to her car. 

“Can you help me with these Caleb?” He was distracted, he was watching Nancy’s congratulations.

“Caleb.” I nudged his arm to get his attention. He recoiled as far away from me as possible, he almost fell off his chair. “I’m sorry. Can you please help me take these to the car?” I handed him a plastic bin of staging supplies and cookies. I know he doesn’t like being touched, but Caleb didn't say a word for the rest of the evening, it was strange, even for him. He watched West Side Story and went to bed before me.

***

“Pardon?... Hold on a sec, I can’t hear you.” I pressed my phone in between my shoulder and my ear, dried my hands on my apron, and tried again. “Okay, go ahead,  this is Amy.”

Tallon noticed my face drop. “What’s wrong?” She took the steaming frying pan off the stove. “Aims?” 

“No, they aren’t his caregiver... yeah, okay… I’ll be right there. Thank you for calling.” I hung up and my stomach was in my throat. I looked at Tallon. 

“Shit, what happened Aims.” Her face dropped and she moved towards me. 

“Caleb, that was his day home, the police just called them.” I was trying to relay the information while simultaneously processing what was happening.

“Slow down, what’s up with Caleb, is he okay?”

“I don’t know. I said I’d go down there.” I was shaking now. How could that be Caleb? It couldn’t.

“Where?” Tallon asked as she took off her apron, and turned me around to start untying mine. “I’ll drive you.”

“The police station.” It sounded like a stranger's words, not mine. Police Station. Not Caleb. Not my sweet brother who eats fruit loops for breakfast, and thinks he might still lose a tooth at 24 years old. He has never been aggressive. Not even when he was a teenager.

***

“I guess there was a break-in, and damage to all this property, people were freaking out.” I was relaying the snippets that I could remember from the phone call, as Tallon drove us through downtown Calgary. 

“Oh my God… and they think it was Caleb?” She left her mouth open. I didn’t answer her. “Do you… “ she let her question hang without asking it. 

“No. I don’t think he could do that.” I said shortly, trying to convince us both. We were quiet until we pulled up to the station. 

***

“This is a long list of damages your brother’s stacked up.” The young blonde officer said.

“I see that,” I whispered. I was sick to my stomach. They took a picture of him when they picked him up, it was Caleb. “What happens now?” I asked, fingering through a stack of papers.

“We keep him here until we get him a... representative. This is a unique situation because he’s… well…. diff...you know?” The officer was uncomfortable, and whatever he thought he knew about my brother, it was clear that he in fact did not know. 

“Can I see him?” I asked, stuffing my rage deep down inside, knowing it would be futile. 

“Yeah, you can, but it’s gotta be through the glass, Orange is The New Black style.” He smiled at his own reference. 

“Okay,” I said as flatly as I could manage. 

“Hey, officer, what place did he break into anyways?” Tallon asked before he left to collect Caleb. 

“Some ma and pa bakery, Nancy something. Ate all the peanut butter cookies.” Tallon and I looked at each other. 

***

When Caleb walked in he was in his regular clothes, a spiderman T-shirt, Skechers,  and his smudged glasses propped on his nose. He sat down across from me, the thick plexiglass between us. There wasn’t a phone to talk into like in Orange is The New Black.

“Caleb.” was all I managed to say, I had tears in my eyes. I was trying to read him. 

“There is no bad press!” he chanted. Stood up and walked out.