Icelandic Dilemma

[Death and Dilemma of Psychology]

The Psychology of Yes and No

Juan and Ava arrived at Ava’s apartment. They entered in the middle of a conversation that never seemed to end about Diamond Beach, a place in Iceland where Ava was going with or without Juan. Soon. 

“Ava, you’ve discussed Diamond Beach for the past year; it’s not the right time to visit,” Juan said.

Juan, a mama’s boy, couldn’t believe his adventurous Spanish girlfriend Ava was planning to visit Iceland’s Diamond Beach without him. She pushed him away. 

It’s unsafe for you to travel without a chaperone!” He grabbed her and pulled her close.

“Who says it’s unsafe?” She shook her head.

“Why Diamond Beach anyway?” He puts his hands in the air. 

“There’s no way I need a chaperone!” She slammed him on the back. 

“This has been a topic of conversation since last summer!” He tried to grab her and hold her. 

“Watch me go alone.” She grabbed her phone and booked a round-trip ticket. “What’s wrong, Juan? Are you checking with Mommy first?” She tickled his chin like a mother would a baby.

“No! Fine! I’ll go with you.” He followed suit and booked the same flight. “It’s good to experience something new; adventures together are fun.” Juan shifted his perspective to go with Ava. He had a grand plan that he wanted to present as Ava's, not his own; thus far, so good, he believed.

“What? Why not Spain’s gorgeous beaches? I understand the reason for Diamond Beach. It’s cute, but damn it, it’ll be cold, no?” 

“Mom, it’s Ava’s choice of where she wants to go.” He smiled. “I’ve been thinking a lot about her and bought a ring. I’m proposing because she won’t see it coming.”

“Not a chance; she’ll say yes,” his mother replied. In that cold Icelandic beach?” His mother exclaimed after Juan shared he would propose to Ava in Iceland at Diamond Beach.

“I know my Ava,” he said. “Besides, it’s our decision in the end, Mother.”

“Now, listen here, I bought you both an apartment in my building, one floor below me.

You’ll move in one week after your Reykjavik trip, so don’t tell me it’s up to you and her.”

“Thank you, Mom. Sorry about what I said earlier. I’m just so preoccupied with the proposal.” He kissed her cheek, overwhelmed by the surprise.

“What kind of romance can you have on a cold beach?” She fretted, shaking her head and waving her hands.

“I’ll make it special,” Juan said. “I’m bringing caviar and champagne. Nothing but the best for my girl.”

“Be careful. Ava may expect that all the time.” 

They arrived in Reykjavik, rented their car, drove to their VRBO, unpacked, and then packed a picnic basket for the four-and-a-half-hour drive to Diamond Beach. They engaged in tons of conversation the entire way there, and Juan couldn’t control himself. His nerves were a mess. Ava said, “Are you okay, Juan? You seem a little jumpy.” 

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m excited to see the beach since we’ve been discussing this for a long time.

They exited the car, and the breathtaking scenery held their mouths open in awe. White, snow-covered, glistening, diamond-like, giant ice blocks were strewn all over the beach sunbathers on black towels as far as the eye could see.

As the sunlight shimmered off the ice blocks, it contrasted with the black sand underneath. The seals growling from a distance, also black with white spots on their chins, made noise and were playful about their territory. 

“Hungry?” Ava said, shaking Juan from his reverie.

“Just coffee, please,” he smiled.

“Let’s spread our blanket here.” She laid it down; Juan scooped a bit of the beach into the tiny glass jar he brought and corked it. Then he poured champagne for two. 

“Champagne? What’s the occasion?” Ava said.

“No occasion. I’m just celebrating our trip and us being here alone together.” 

“I’ll drink to that.” They cheered and looked out over the water, where Orcas breached in the distance. Juan prepared to propose the gold ring with a square-cut diamond hidden in his pocket and twisted by his finger.

“Ava, my mother bought us an apartment in her building,” he announced. Ava heard those words and responded hotly.

“Now she’s dictated the terms of our living arrangements?” Ava shot back.

“It’s a gift, Ava! Don’t you see? I thought you’d love it. And be happy.” A deflated Juan said.

“Not if it means losing my independence,” Ava said.

“One question for you before we get the keys to the apartment: It’s about your independence,” Juan said in a worried tone.

“Why must we always talk about your mother? Every date we go in. Even here, thousands of miles away,” Ava stood up. “I’m glad we came here and cleared this up before we got further into our relationship.” She turned her head and nose high in the air and closed her eyes at him.

Juan grasped her hand. She turned to face him, gasped, and opened her eyes. “Ava María Delgado,” he said, sinking to one knee. “Will you marry me?”

There was a long pause in the conversation, and silence hung in the air. Juan’s heart raced. Perhaps a “no” was coming his way. He fumbled with the ring in his pocket, unsure of Ava and her response.

She sat back on the blanket. Ava’s excitement and anxiety wrestled as she watched the waves hit the shore. She knew the feeling as she thought of herself as the beach being trodden over (Juan) and beaten up by the water (his mother). The surrounding beauty mesmerized her, yet the moment’s weight pressed on her heart.

If she accepted Juan’s offer of marriage and an apartment, it would fill her with joy and gratitude and raise questions about her independence. Could she maintain her sense of self while building a life with him? She envisioned cozy evenings and shared laughter in a home they would create together, but the thought of being tied down made her hesitate.

Tension built inside her. She thought she had to say “no.”

Across from her, Juan noticed her distraction. Anticipation swelled within him, but anxiety gripped him as he read her body language and expression. Was she hesitant about the proposal? He saw the apartment as a symbol of stability and a shared future but feared it might overwhelm her. He loved her independence and admired her strength but feared she misinterpreted his gesture.

“Ava, please share what you’re feeling,” he said. He envisioned their lives intertwined, creating a home full of laughter and memories. 

The ring tucked in his pocket felt heavy—a promise he was eager to make, but not at the cost of her freedom.

As he watched the ocean’s waves crash, Juan resolved to approach the moment. He wanted Ava to see the apartment as a partnership, not a constraint. He hoped she would soon look up, ready to explore their future without fear, embracing the possibilities ahead.

Ava pondered their life ahead.

Saying “yes” meant accepting his mother’s influence, a compromise of her cherished independence. Yet this proposal, in such a stunning location, was unique. And just what Ava wanted all along.

Cold seawater splashed over them, breaking the tension. They laughed, and she felt grateful for their connection.

“Juan, I can’t marry you unless you understand that your mother is not actively involved in our relationship.” She tugged on his coat, and he turned to face her, looking into her eyes.

He nodded and prized this moment on Diamond Beach. He realized he needed to make Ava see what changes he could make to prove his love to her.

“I cannot make promises about what my mother will do in the future, but I can make you this promise: from this moment forward, it is me and you against all others. I love you.” 

In the heated car, Ava was beautiful, but Juan wanted to preserve the look the way she looked at that moment forever.

The proposal signalled the beginning of a fresh journey, and both experienced its profound significance. Ava twisted her finger as if it needed some getting used to. She knew it was the moment she had waited for, but Ava also knew she wasn’t sure Juan was ready. 

She smiled an impish smile. All that Diamond Beach talk for a year and a half worked---at last! She thought. Too bad I couldn’t say “yes” yet. Maybe we’ll have to come back next year. 

“Nobody will ever know what occurred here today, Juan. This whole ordeal stays between us, and maybe next year, we’ll come back here again and see what it brings us.” She smiled at Juan. 

He smiled back at her, but in the back of his mind, he knew this was the beginning of the end. “That’s okay, Ava. I don’t mind if people know. It’s all the same to me.” He smiled, but it was phoney. Ava felt a lump in her throat that nearly suffocated her, causing her to break out into cold sweat. Juan looked fluid, and her eyes wanted to close because of the alcohol, and then things went dark. She passed out, knowing they would never stay together. 

Juan looked at her passed-out, beautiful Ava, who always knew what was best for the both of them. Now vulnerable and stuck at Juan’s mercy. Four hours is a long time, and it’s already dark. The northern lights would be out soon. Since Juan came from Spain and wouldn’t return, he wanted to see them for the first and last time.

He got out of the car and left Ava asleep on the seat. Juan sat on the blanket on the ground and watched the light show. He drank the rest of the other bottle of champagne and cried out all his tears for Ava. He sat there for a long while. The thought crossed his mind to get up and light a fire. But the alcohol. It made him drowsy. He knew Ava was safe. She was passed out in the car. She’d be fine. 

He pulled the ring from his pocket and put it on the baby finger of his left hand. He laid down and went to sleep. A line of lights and horn honks startled him from the distance. He stood up to see a caravan of people coming out to see the Northern Lights from the city. He got back into the car. Ava was gone. 

He got warm inside the car and then went to the passenger side, where he saw Ava face down in the snow. She never got up again. When he got her up, he tried to pull her up and put her back into the car. The heat didn’t make a difference. She may have been out there too long and frozen to death. What did Juan know?

The cars stopped. Juan told them the entire story; a man got out and said, “I’m a doctor; if you like, I’ll have a look.” Juan moved aside and let the guy in. He took a look at Ava and said, “Yes, she’s dead. But you, sir, are frostbitten and drunk. Drinking and being outside in cold weather and snow is a bad idea. We need to get you two back to Reykjavik. 

There were no reasons to keep Juan, and the police released Ava’s body into Juan’s care. They flew home together, and Juan slipped the ring on her finger. Her family saw the ring. 

“Juan, it worked. You proposed to her then on Diamond Beach, eh?” Ava's mother said.

“Yeah. I did. And Ava had no clue. That was the best part,” Juan said. 

“What? No, no, no. You got it all wrong," her mother said.

"She had no idea I would propose, and I let her believe it was all her idea. You should have seen her face on the beach that day.” Juan said.

“She planted the idea in your head a year and a half ago about Diamond Beach, but please keep the ring. It’s yours now; she’s dead.” Her mother said.