Wicked Souls, Kindred Spirits

“Morning walks are typically the most peaceful, ordinary part of my day. In fact, since I started working in the forest, they have never been anything but ordinary, no matter how extraordinary everything else becomes. And yet, I’m making my way around the tree line today and find a kid buried in the snow, hand sticking up like a dead body. I put my coat around him and carried him back here, trying to warm him up. I put him by the fire, gave him some blankets and put his hands in hot water, but he’s still out.  I’m gonna keep trying.”

I go back to the kid after writin’ in my journal about our strange mornin’. The dogs are interested in him, I s’pose they’re not used to having another person around. All of them are huddlin’ ‘round him. I start sketchin’ ‘em in my journal, after a while the dogs are snorin’, and the kid stirs before opening his eyes.

“Hey kid. You were out for a while, how you feelin’?”

He responds with a sneeze. “Yeah. that sounds about right…” He rubs his eyes, lookin’ from me to the dogs. “Where am I, sir?” 

“You’re gonna be fine kiddo, I found you buried in the snow ‘n brought you here, and once you come to your senses you can tell me where you’re from and I can take you back there.” 

“Who are you, sir?”

“Oliver, who are you, kid?” He starts to speak, but stops. I watch the cogs in his brain turning. “Tulip, sir.” I give him a sceptical glance, replying, “No offence kid, but you don’t look like a Tulip.” He shrugs. “Fine, if you want to be Tulip, you’re Tulip,” he smiles. “Do you mind if I take a look at ya? Gotta make sure you’re not frozen.”

“Sure thing sir.” I press my hand to his forehead, and look over his hands and feet before proclaiming, “Well Tulip you’re not completely frozen, and nothin’s black or blue, so guess what?”

“What?”

“You get to keep all your fingers n’ toes!” I exclaim sarcastically.

“Yay!” I chuckle and watch as one of the dogs wakes up and starts licking him. He seems scared, flinching, and looks to me for reassurance. “Uh… don’t worry. They don’t bite. Oh, well, actually, they do bite.” He tries to scoot away, causing the dog to move closer. He looks from the dog to me. I whistle, and the dog comes to me, while the others wake up and make their way over and I lead them to the door, sending them outside. 

I shut the door and turn to Tulip, his eyes are filled with wonder and admiration. “That was awesome! You’re like their pack leader!” I shrug it off and go to make him a hot chocolate. He follows me, trying to climb onto a bench in the kitchen, before giving up and leaning against it. “How did you do that mister?”

“I trained ‘em.”

“Will they come back if you tell them to?”

“Yes.”

“Are they wolves or dogs?”

“Yes.” He looks confused for a moment before nodding his head and continuing, “Do you live here alone, sir?”

“Yes.”

“How did you end up so far away from other people, aren’t you lonely?”

I don’t answer, instead finishing his cocoa, handing it to him and saying “None of your business, Tulip.” He shrugs and drinks. “My turn. Why are you by yourself?” He doesn’t answer. “Alright, where are your parents?” Still nothing, he averts his gaze to the floor, shuffling his feet. 

“Look, kid, you gotta work with me. I can’t take you home if you don’t tell me where your home is.” He continues looking down, but his expression shifts to sadness and he begins to snuffle. I sigh, crossing my legs as I lean against the counter. “Okay Tulip, I get it, you don’t wanna go home. Believe me, I understand, but you can’t stay here, so unless you tell me where you live I’m gonna have to send you back out, alright?” He looks shocked. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I’m just a kid! It’s- It’s wrong! I could die!” I shrug. “You don’t really know how kids work, do you mister?” I shrug again. 

Throughout the week I try to get rid of him. I question him, he says nothing, I drop him off on the edge of the woods and wake up with him standing over me. I pop him right next to the city walls and he’s back within hours, I lock him outside to make his way home and find him asleep on my doorstep. I ignore him and go for my walk and he follows me. Of course I let him back in, what else was I going to do? Let him freeze? I can’t have that on my hands, people would despise me even more. I don’t think he’d be out here unless he was unable to go home. He needs someone to look after him, and I guess that’s me. God, what am I getting myself into.

—

“What’s your tattoo of, sir?”

“A heart.” I reply, still writing in my journal.

“It doesn’t look like a heart.” I pull my sleeve back so he can see it, “A real heart, like one you got there,” I poke him in his chest with my pencil.

“Oh, gross,” he adds, “sir.”

“Tulip, we gotta talk about this ‘Sir’ thing, I know you gotta call your elders that at home, but you don’t gotta do it here.”

“Why?”

“Don’t like it, too formal. Oliver or Oli’s fine if you need my attention.”

“Cool.”

“While I’m at it, let's set some ground rules, since you’re stayin’.”

“Okay.” He perks up, looking forward at me with a straight back, givin’ all his attention. “Don’t go out there by yourself. There’s some wild stuff out there, and unless you know how to deal with it you’re gonna get eaten.” I look him up and down and add, “you’re lucky you haven’t been eaten already,” before returning to my notes.

“Why’d you let me go out there alone before then?”

“‘Cause I thought you had someone lookin’ for ya. Didn’t know you were alone.” 

“Right…” his gaze shifts, he looks guilty, but I can’t figure out why. “Rule two, if you stay, you get used to the dogs. They gotta come inside in winter, and I don’t want you wakin’ up hollerin’ ‘cause one’s near ya, okay?”

“I’m sure I can get used to them.”

“Good. I think that covers it, might be something else later.”

“Okay, Oliver.” I smile and look at my notes. “What are you writing?”

“Headcount of the dogs, making sure I got them all in their kennels.”

“How many are there?”

“10. Got ‘em all, which is good.” I make another attempt to write, but Tulip never stops questionin’ things. “What about now?”

“Now I’m thinkin’ if there’s anythin’ else I need to check before I lock up for the night, which there ain’t.”

“Why’d you talk like a cowboy from a western, but with a higher voice.” I chuckle. “Been away from people so long, guess I forgot how to speak proper like you.”

“But you know how to write, so you must have been raised in a town.” I avoid his gaze and stare out the window. “I like writing. One of the only things I do like about… civilisation.”

“How’d you end up alone?”

“That’s enough questions for one night.” I snap. He looks down. “Sorry sir.” I sigh. “I’m sorry Tulip,” I reply, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I shouldn’t snap, ‘m just not used to havin’ people around. It’s gon’ take some time, and I might get a grumpy sometimes, but I’ll try, make sense?”

“Yup,” he responds, perking up and lookin’ at me again. “I’ll try not to ask so many questions.”

“Never do that.”

“What?”

“Stop askin’ questions. Second you do that you’re easier to boss around, ‘cause you don’t question why somebody’s tellin’ you to do somethin’. You can always ask questions. Always.”

“Thank you.”

“You gon’ be okay on the sofa? Probably a little less than what you’re used to.”

“I’ll be fine,” he says, tuckin’ himself in, “Goodnight Oliver!”

“Goodnight, Tulip.” I reply as I climb up the ladder to the attic.

I wake in the night to a small “thud” below. Through the crack in the curtains I can see light. Gettin’ out of bed, I crack the trapdoor and peek to see what he’s doing. He’s found my suitcase full of old clothes n’ pried it open without the key. I look around and see him in front of the mirror, wearing one of my old dresses. I’d forgot about it, that was so long ago. Seeing it brings back memories I don’t want to think about. But I stop for a moment n’ look at him, not just the dress. He’s twirlin’, laughin’, the biggest smile on his face. The realisation hits me like a punch to the gut, my eyes well with tears. 

Making as little noise as possible, I climb down the ladder and shut the trapdoor. There’s a wall between us so he don’t notice, but he’d be oblivious either way. I watch him, back to the wall and head peeking ‘round the corner. After thinking about the best way to approach without scarin’ him, I knock quietly on the wall. 

He’s so startled he falls over. I don’t come out, not wantin’ him to know I’ve seen ‘im unless he’s comfortable. I face the wall. “Hey Tulip.”

“H- hey.”.

“I woke up and saw the light was on, you okay?”

“Y- yes. I’m f-fine.” He stutters, “D-don’t come out.”

“It’s alright, I won’t.”

“P- promise?”

“Promise,” I say, turning in the opposite direction so he knows I can’t see him. “I’ll stay right here.” I can hear him snuffling as I sink down the wall. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Y- yeah?”

“I used to be a girl.” 

“W-what happened.”

“I didn’t want to be one. That’s how I ended up out here, alone. I knew nobody would… want me… if I wasn’t… ‘normal.’” I put normal in air quotes. “The animals needed someone to look after ‘em, so I cut my hair and changed my clothes, so nobody knew it was me, and took the job. I’ve lived out here for years, and now, you’re the only other person who knows my secret. You promise to keep it?”

“I… I promise.”

“Thank you.” I say, silent tears rolling down my face. 

“C- can I tell you a secret?”

“‘Course you can,” I reply, doing my best to recover.

“I… I don’t think I want to be a boy.” I let the silence hang in the air for a while, the only sound our breaths, mine clear and calm, his - her’s - shaky and relieved. “Feels nice to say, don’t it? To admit to yourself somethin’ you’ve known your whole life but only just figured out.”

“Y- yeah. You can come and sit on the couch.”

I stand up and turn the corner, she’s sitting on the couch, but I can see him - her - in the mirror. The dress suits her. I sit down. “Look at you,” I say, pointin’ to the mirror. He - she - looks, and gleams again, tears streaming. “It suits you,” I say, puttin’ an arm ‘round her, offerin’ a hug. She accepts and begins to cry into my shoulder, “I- i- it’s okay.” She says, “T-they’re h-happy t-t- tears.” I smile. “Good, cry it out. It always helps.” She calms down a little as I rub her back, “Hey,” I whisper, “once you feel better, want me to teach you how to do makeup?” She beams. 

—

“I’m goin’ to stock up on supplies, I want you to stay here.”

“That’s okay. I… don’t feel comfortable going back to other people, not yet.” I smile and hug her, “No problem, won’t be long.” She grabs my arm, “Promise?”

“I promise.”

Walking to the nearest town takes an hour, but I feel each minute without Tulip. I’m so used to havin’ her around, without her the world is… quiet. It’s nice to have the time to think. 

“Oliver gave me all his dresses and girl clothes! I’m so happy he found me. I’ve started a journal like his! Mine’s not as good, but he said if I keep practising I’ll get better. I love how he talks, I feel like I’m in a cowboy story. He left his journal here, with the list of the supplies we need, I should take it to him, I’m sure he won’t mind if I’m being helpful. Hopefully I can catch up to him before he makes it to town.”

Walking this far is hard! Oliver’s gonna be tired when he gets home, I must have almost caught up to him, I’ve been following his footprints forever! 

As I get closer to town I pull my hood up ‘round my face. After statin’ who I am, the guards let me pass. I make my way towards the general store, the locals know me as a hermit so they avoid me, but I’m not takin’ the chance of gettin’ stopped. I reach into my pocket for my journal with the list but there’s nothin’, must’ve left it at home, just hope I don’t forget anythin’. 

I reach the end of the footprints, but instead of Oliver I find one of the guards from town. His gaze passes over me before he does a double take, “Hey, kid!” Shoot.

After gettin’ what we need I bring it to the counter. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” the shopkeeper says, “How you been?”

“Alright. How’s things?”

“Same as always. You must be cold out there, harsh winter this year.”

“Yeah.” My gaze drifts to a poster, obscured by a price list. “Oh that? Mayor’s kid’s missing. They were about to send word to you in case you’d seen him.”

“Oh? How long?”

“Couple weeks, take a look.” She pulls the poster down, I hide my reaction, but stop makin’ pleasantries and pay quick before shoving everythin’ into my bag and half-runnin’ out the door. 

I turn but he grabs my hand. “Where you been? Your parents are worried sick. You can explain yourself to them.” I bite down on his hand, but he’s wearing gloves. He gives me a strange glance and keeps walking. It starts snowing. 

I holler for Tulip till I can’t speak, but I know where she’ll be. I send the dogs out to follow her scent, but, nothin’. Her footprints must have been covered by snow. There’s only one thing to do, so I prepare for my journey, taking Moss, my horse, to speed things up. 

I tie him to a nearby tree and slip through the walls. I’m near the mayor’s house, it’s late enough that a single guard is posted. After knocking him out and laying him against a fence, I look around to make sure I’m unseen, then start peaking through the windows between the cracks in the curtains. Nothing on the first story, but I notice a light on upstairs. I climb, and there she is, dressed like a boy, crying into her pillow. I tap on the glass and she looks at me, smiling, before coming to the window and pointing down at the lock. It looks like it was designed to keep her in, so it’s simple enough to pick outside. I pry it open and hold my arms out, she whispers  “They took the dress.”

“It’s okay, I got you a new one.” She smiles and climbs into my arms, I press her against my body, shut the window and climb down. I place her down and point to the fence, thinking we’re safe. 

“Hey, you two, stop!” Tulip freezes, and my instincts kick in. I grab her and run, ducking through the hole towards Moss. I throw her onto him as the guard climbs through. My fingers fumble with the reins as I untie her, and as I put my foot in the stirrup there’s a hand on my shoulder pulling me into the snow. I get up, the guard punches my stomach before I can react and I stagger against a tree. Before he can throw another I sock him in the jaw before mounting up and running. Tulip holds my waist, sobbing quietly into me, making me go faster.

“Recon we lost ‘em in the snow.” I say as we arrive home. Tulip’s upset, nose red from cryin’. I pull her down and place her on the ground. “Let’s get inside.”

“I know you’re scared n’ upset, but I need you to listen,” I say, a hand on her shoulder, “They’re gonna figure out who took you, and they’re gonna come lookin’ for me, which means I can’t stay.”

“Okay…”

“So, you have a choice. You can come with me, we can take Moss and the dogs, and we can go find someplace else to live. Or you can stay here, and go back to your old life.” She doesn’t hesitate, “I’m coming with you.” 

“We might be runnin’ for some time.” 

“I don’t care. The only reason I like my life is because you’re in it. You taught me it was okay to be myself, and you take care of me. You have to take me with you.”

“I’m really glad you said that, kid. I’d be lonely, without you. Plus,” I add, “means I didn’t buy you a new dress for nothin’. Wanna try it on while I pack?”

“Yes!” I toss her the dress, happy to have her back. I start the fire and boil some water for hot cocoa, and thank whatever fate there is that I found a random kid buried in the snow.