Stars behind the Clouds

“Dad! what’s the name of that star?”- Maria asked with profound curiosity.

“Which one dear! That one?… In the north sky?”- I asked in a cajoling manner.

“Yes dad! The brightest of all…just beside mom!”- she replied in joy.

I remained silent for few seconds, I was lost! Lost in the lonesome,dark world of my memory.

“Dad!…can you hear me! Are you okay?…Dad!”

I came back to the present with a shiver and immediately responded with a wan smile, “Yes, I’m okay baby…” 

I took Maria in my arms and pointed towards the brightest star, “That’s called Sirius!”

She clapped her hands in excitement and gave me a tight hug...“Oh daddy you know everything! You are the best daddy in the world!”

“Now it’s time for bed, come on let’s go..”

She looked at the dark sky full of twinkling bright stars. Her eyes were glimmering with joy. Then she bade her mother ‘good night’ with a cute smile and we went downstairs. She kissed me and went to her bed with her teddy bear. Within a few minutes she fell asleep. I put off the lights, closed the door and went back to my room.

     Every night after dinner, my daughter and I visited to the terrace of our small house. We both were fond of watching stars. After all those hustle-bustle throughout the day, I found the true peace lying under the ocean of stars with my little Maria….She was the only one whom I could call my own. Maria’s mother, my wife whom I loved more than myself, died just after giving birth to Maria. I was engulfed in grief so much that I denied to see my daughter at first! How could she just leave me alone in this world full of strangers! Suddenly a nurse came and placed a little baby girl, covered with white clothes, in my hands. Tears rolled down my eyes…I was very afraid to hold her in my arms, if she slipped out of my arms! She was so small after all.. I wasn’t good enough as a father and also inexperienced. My eyes rested on her two bluish beady eyes…those same eyes! She got her mother’s eyes and her smile was as sweet as the cherry blossoms in the winter! I realized from that moment, I was not left alone! From that day my struggle began both as a father and a mother, more than that as a best friend to my only daughter!

     Time and tide waits for none. Seven years passed. Maria was growing up so faster. Her cascade of shining hair was as black as coal. It was quite difficult for me to tie her hair. Most of the times her hair was tangled and she was completely unaware of that. Her tender red lips quivered when she cried. Her face resembled with her mother. In those years, I had to face a single question for several times…and that was, ‘Where is my mom?’ In the beginning, I used to ignore and channelize her attention towards other stuffs. But few years later when she started going to the elementary school, she noticed that most of her friends had mom, except her. 

     One day after returning from work, I went straight into Maria’s room as usual, but didn’t find her there. I heard some whispering coming out of the bathroom. I eavesdropped on the conversation. Maria! She was talking with herself and crying. I knocked on the door but she refused to open that. I understood the reason of her sadness. I coaxingly said her that if she came out, both of us would go to meet mom! Few seconds later she opened the door and gave me an intense look. I smiled and took her in my arms. Her eyes were swelled. We walked together to the terrace and the I pointed towards a star. I told her that the star was her mom and she is always with us, watching and protecting us. She was astonished to see her mom resting in the night sky amid the glowing stars. Then she sternly asked me, why her mom was a star and not a human being! This question left me into a dilemma. What should I answer her! “The Almighty God loved your mother so much that He kept her with Him for forever. But you can see her and talk to her whenever you want to….every night we will come here and meet your mom, you can share everything to her because she is far more better as a listener rather than dad!” yeah, exactly these words…I told her that day. Her innocent heart believed my every word…

     Since then, we never missed a day to visit the terrace to meet Maria’s mom. However, she was happy then which mattered to me more than anything else. While watching stars everyday, she grew her interests in both astrology and astronomy. Sometimes I failed to answer all her questions because she never let me complete my answer, before that she raised another one and I used to mess up all!

      Summer, season of soaring temperatures. Every summer, after the dreariness of whole day, at night watching stars, while sitting on the couch with a bowl of succulent fruits, was salubrious! Summer was Maria’s favorite season because that time in the night-sky the constellations appeared vividly. Maria loved to stare at those constellations along with some mango-flavored ice-creams. We both enjoyed the summer holidays together in gardening, playing baseball and many more. But I forgot that I wasn’t fortunate enough! Amid the mild breeze a sudden storm hit me so hard that my heart broke into pieces…..

      One evening, after buying some chocolates for Maria from the nearby shop, I went to buy some clothes. I lost the track of time and when I returned back, it was night already. I knocked the door, rang the bell but there was no response from inside. My hear-beat increased, negative thoughts crowded in my mind. I started sweating..I called the police who was strolling on the streets. Both of us broke the door and went inside…. “Maria! Maria! Where are you dear! Maria! Can you…”, my eyes stuck! In the dim light I could see her face, eyes closed, blood coming out of her nose…she fell down from the stairs and lost her senses. Then and there she was admitted to the nearby hospital. After few hours the doctor came to me and discussed about her health. What he told still seems to be false to me...“Your daughter has blood cancer. Her physical health is deteriorating, we are trying our best to save your daughter, don’t loose hope!”

       It seemed that the world around me had stopped. Everything was motionless. Nothing was lively anymore. I went into a trance! “Will she survive? How can I let my daughter die in front of my eyes! No I can’t..I can’t!” 

       After some medications, the doctor advised me to take care of her and always to keep an eye on her. She was released from the hospital but there was only one month left in her hand to breathe and cherish her life! I was unable to decide if I should be happy or sad! But I was quite sure that I am gonna make her one month the best one in her entire life! I tried to fulfil her every desire, all those things she wanted to do. One day while I was busy with cooking, she came and stood very close to me. 

-“What happened dear? Are you okay? Is there any pain in your body?” 

She nodded. “What will happen to me after one month? I am going to be fine! right daddy?”-she replied in a low voice. 

I smiled at her. She blushed. 

-“Yes dear, you are going to be absolutely fine! Just after one month you will also become a star like your mom, because God loves you so much just like He loved your mom!” 

- “Oh that’s great! So finally I am going to stay with mom! That’s incredible!”

-”Yes, you are dear!”

I tried my best to hide my tears, my voice was breaking. I left the kitchen and went to the washroom….the pain inside me was unbearable. ‘why me!…why!’

     Only two days were left to complete a month. From early morning the sky was overcast with clouds. In the evening it began to drizzle followed by occasional flashes of lightening and peals of thunder. At night it began to rain heavily. Strong gusts of wind disoriented everything in the room. I shut down the windows as soon as possible. People outside began to run helter-skelter in search of shelter. I went to Maria and asked if she needed anything. She didn’t reply. I asked her once again but she was too weak to open her eyes. She murmured something..I took my ear close to her lips, “I….I want..t.to.. see.. the stars..daa..daddy!” I was disappointed..how was that possible on my part to show her the stars in the foul weather! 

      I opened the window, all the stars have been disappeared behind the clouds….I prayed to God because I could feel this one is going to be her last wish and I wanted to fulfil that at any cost…but God failed to listen my request. I waited the whole night at the window, staring at the sky but the rain didn’t stop. When I returned to Maria, she was in a deep slumber. There was a mild smile on her face. The dawn broke with the cooing of the doves. “Maria! Dear! Get up, I know you are angry with me but I promise you, today we will sit under the stars and sing songs…which song you want to sing? Maria! Maria!……” I touched her body, it was cold as ice… “Noooo!!….Maria!!!!!! No!! the stars….the stars will be waiting for you…noooooo!!!!”

             (Four months later) 

I am standing on the roof-top of my house. Today is Maria’s birthday. The sky is clear and the glittering stars are looking so beautiful! There is not a single patch of cloud today…I laid down under the sky, mild breeze cuts through my hair. I can feel the presence of Maria and her mom just beside me. They are with me….Every night we meet and we look at each other. “Sorry baby! Sorry! I was unable to fulfil your last wish!” Far in the sky, two stars, side by side, are smiling and shining brightly…..

             The end