Ashes and Snow

Micheal rubbed his hands together as he walked down the street. He has his mittens on so, why is it still so cold? The wind blew his long blonde hair, entangling the beads and knots he worked hours to unweave. He should've bought his hat too then?

 He looked around to see closed shops and stillness in the air. The stone walls contrasted the moss, snow, and soot remains. Even the cobblestone street he walked on has soot and undeniably dangerous fire scorches.

As if a large fire burned the whole place.

His hometown was quiet, it always has been. He huffed, no wonder most teens went to the city. This town looks like it is ghosted. The bright windows of street stalls and stores were dimmed and some even had cobwebs. He would know, after all, he spent his early childhood looking through the glass window. He remembers-

He closed his emerald eyes. It's been years since he-

No, Not going there Micheal.

He didn't mean to leave, really, he didn't. But the memories of laughter were just too much for Micheal. The way their hands intertwined as they march uphill just like Jack and Jill. Their fights over a girl that they both liked. The sorry's after the said fights and bawling over each other to not leave-

But Micheal left, didn't he?

Micheal was always a small boy. Even now as a man. He often grumbled about his five foot and three inches height and often snide at his friends when they tease him about it because, danmit, he knows he's short. Truth be told, it's not like he hates his height, it is actually very convenient for him and his job.

It's just the flashbacks he remembers from the tease.

He used to love sleeping. He still actually loves sleeping, especially on winter nights, where the snow falls softly outside, him sitting on his favorite plush armchair, drinking the finest whiskey he once drank, enjoying the warmth the fireplace gives, his feet on top of a bulky knee-

Why was it bulky again?

Oh, right. Micheal remembered accidentally pushing him down the stairs. They were playing with their dolls, yes, boys playing with dolls, to be specific rag dolls. In Micheal’s defense, he was the only son of nine sisters, all of which adorned his silky blonde hair along with his friend’s brunette locks.

 There were scarce good and adorable children, apparently, in the village which is only good at breeding male bullies and delicate damsels and with nine sisters and a spoiling mother breathing down his neck-

And a delicate damsel, he was.

Anybody knowing Micheal at work would be probably laughing at you and will shake their head in disbelief if you told them that Micheal used to wear skirts and prance around with his chrysanthemum flower crowns that his sisters made for him every Friday. He is known to be cruel and cold after all. Levi Ackerman who?

He snorted as he made a curt turn on a street to a small, rickety old shed by the base of a small hill. The surrounding houses were either charred black or just ashes. How the shed escaped the fire, he would never know.

After all, he was the coward who hid in the shed.

He kicked down the door as it was locked and he didn’t have the key. He didn’t want to snoop around more than he already has. He was walking in a dead town, a ghosted dead town. Who knows what would the spirits of his old townsmen would do? His face contorted in a disgusted expression as a musty, humid and burnt smell reached his crooked nose.

A simple reminder of his bully, Jonas, that’s all.

Oh, he remembered Jonas. He used to call Micheal multiple nicknames after all. Pet, snowman, elfy, faggo-, Oh, Micheal also remembered headbutting that boy, it was exhilarating to see blood gush out of his nose and breaking his buck front teeth.

Micheal shook his head as he scrunched up his nose and hesitated a second only to grab a small sleigh. He walked out of the musty shed while looking at the initials.

K. J. R.

Karlos Joanne Roan, the boy he loved and cared for as a friend and brother yet left him screaming in a sea of fire.

Micheal numbly trudged up a hill. His tears fall on the old mahogany wood sleigh of his friend. It used to be big and wide- wide enough for the both of them, along with a sister of his occasionally, to sit on and ride down the hill. They would laugh, giggle, and hug each other on the ground with snow all around them. Sharing multiple secrets, gossips, and promises.

Promises that Micheal didn’t keep.

By the time that Micheal arrived on top of the hill, he crashed on his knees and bawled as his small hands- were his hands this small? - gripped on the sides of the sleigh. He cried and cried for his dead family, his sisters, the caring store owners, the friendly librarian, God, He even cried for Jonas! And he hated Jonas!

What about your Karlos?

Oh God, What about Karlos? His dear friend Karlos. Good, brave Karlos who saves him from Jonas as a knight in shining armor. Handsome Karlos with his brown hair up in pigtails just to satiate his sisters. Friendly Karlos who befriended feminine faggot, Micheal. Confused, angry, and shouting Karlos to open the shed door-

“PLEASE SAVE ME!”

Micheal began to choke.

It was the time when Germany waged war on the whole world and their town was so secluded, they didn’t hear such news. It snowed all year and no one dared to stay long nor come back, so, how can they?

Micheal began to feel dizzy.

It was unnerving to see multiple planes-fighter planes flying in the sky. What’s more horrifying is when it opened its hatch and began to drop bombs. It destroyed, killed, and burned the buildings, people, and everything in sight.

Micheal screamed in pain.

Karlos was out with him that day. Karlos even complimented his skirt and new red coat. It was a good day. They planned to go to the hill to ride on Karlos’ sleigh that day. They even got permission to see the theatre show later in the library at night.

A cold hand on Micheal’s shoulder made him still.

They were halfway on the path to the hill when everything around them began to explode and erupt in flames. Everybody was screaming and running creating a dangerous stampede. Micheal and Karlos were only children and were quickly swept by the crowd. In midst of the chaos, they got separated from each other. They screamed for each other as they got further and further away from each other.

Micheal looked up to see a pair of sad blue eyes.

Somehow, Micheal arrived near the area of the hill and shed. He had Karlos’ sleigh with him and the flames burned his body. He remembered there was a pail of water in the shed and so, with his legs burning, he crawled to the shed.

Jonas stared at Micheal as the smaller man sobbed. He gently patted Micheal’s shoulder and rocked him gently as the man wailed his agony.

Micheal found Jonas in the shed, bawling for his mother and in pain. While Micheal’s legs were burning, Jonas’ was twisted at an inhuman angle. Both of them were quiet, just helping each other go through the pain as they held hands, soothe with murmurs throughout the chaos happening outside.

“I should’ve died!” Micheal cried as his body trembled, “Gods, I should’ve died, Jonas!”

They fell asleep beside each other, only to wake up from a loud banging outside. They quickly hid under the shed, the basement for hurricanes. Whimpering and hushing each other as they listened to the Germans shouting, chains clacking, women screaming, and many, many gunshots.

“Then I should die too,” Jonas’ deep voice cut through his sobbing, “I made you do it after all.”

They were quiet until both heard the voices of Micheal’s sisters, screaming and begging them not to kill the children. It took every ounce of Jonas’ power to muffle Micheal with dirt towels and hugging the boy as he trashed and punched to get out of the hold but to no avail. Micheal cried as the screams died down to muffled crying outside and he sobbed to Jonas’ chest as the boy explained softly that they can’t do anything. Not with Germans outside and both of them unable to run.

Micheal shook his head and rose to hug Jonas, which made the other man’s hat fall off but didn’t care and hugged the former back.

Just when both of them thought it was over, they heard shuffling in the snow and the speed of knocking on the door. Both flinched at the sound but made no move to open the door, for all they know it could be a German. Then Karlos’ voice at the other side broke Micheal once more and was held back by Jonas.

“PLEASE SAVE ME!”

“It wasn’t your fault, Micheal” Jonas spoke softly as he rubbed circles on his friend’s-yes friend- back, “We were only children”

“Yet I didn’t save them,” Micheal shook his head, slowly pushed Jonas away as he wiped his tears, “I could’ve but I didn’t”

“Then blame me,” Jonas held Micheal’s shoulders and stared at the man’s emerald eyes, “I stopped you, I choked you, I even used to bully you but you don’t hate me one bit, Micheal. Yet here, you who actually made an effort, grieved for how long, bottling this shit up for years is balming yourself?”

Micheal couldn’t answer and sniffle.

“Would your sisters want this? Would Karlos want this?”

Micheal stilled.

Jonas pushed the old, rickety mahogany sleigh towards him and Micheal caught it and stared at it sadly and shook his head.

“No, they would reprimand me, to be honest,” Micheal answered as he slowly stood up with the sleigh by his side.

“What would they want you to do then?” Jonas asked as he also rose up to his feet.

Micheal was silent for a minute before turning his back to Jonas.

“They would want me to live.”

Jonas smiled as his friend began to accept his guilt. Jonas stared sadly at the burnt town. They were only able to survive due to the rescuers coming the week after the attack occurred. They lived through the rations under the shed basement. They shared rooms with rats and maggots and the pain he felt with his infected wounds was unbearable. It was miraculous that he was still sane. He stared at the back of the boy he used to bully. The boy did not hesitate to help him out. The boy whom he learned needed love.

“Hey, Jonas”

“yeah?”

Micheal turned his head around, grinned, and held the sleigh up.

“Shall we go sleighing?”

Jonas smiled and held his own sleigh that he found in the shed too which caused Micheal to gasp in betrayal.

“Race you to the bottom, Elfy~”

“Hold on! That’s not fair, Jonathan!”

The ghosts behind them smiled as the two men cackled down the hill, for the first time after many years of guilt, and proceeded to disappear.

These two will be fine.