Humans Are Their Own Problem

Another failure. No matter how many adjustments were made, how many different codes were used, or how many cups of coffee drank, the app just didn’t work. Rylee, a “great scientist”, as she had dubbed herself, was trying to fix the planet with a free phone app. Only problem? She couldn’t program well. 

The delusional “scientist”, tired and unconfident, rolled her chair over to the window and looked outside. Even in the dark, you could see that the atmosphere was so polluted that the sky had turned a light brown color, the lack of insects and nocturnal animals, the plants slowly decaying in their places. The world was dying.

Governments and laws were no longer respected as they once were, no longer listened to; pollution took over the land and the oceans. Suicide rates were higher than ever and mental health wasn’t taken care of. People tried to fix these problems, of course, but when people are the problem, they can’t be the solution.

Rylee knew how to fix this. Or, at least she thought she did. By having people explain their problems to this app she was trying to create, she could help them make the right decisions. Or, the app could, anyways.

The S.A.P (Solve All Problems) App, as she’d been calling it, would analyze past situations to discover the best course of action. It would help figure out how to solve your problems. The prototype scenario Rylee was trying to get to work was simple; someone spread a rumor about you.

Every time she would test it, the app would state:

Denying The Rumor: 34% Chance of success

Explain Why Rumor Started: 56% Chance of Success

Start Another Rumor: 70% Chance of Success (Best Choice)

While all of these technically could have worked, and probably would have, it was recommending starting another problem to solve a problem, calling it the best option. She needed to figure out how to make it more morally correct. Rylee slid her chair back to her desk, pulling the curtain closed as she rolled away from the window. The digital clock on the wall read 2;24.

Rylee considered giving up for the night and going to bed… she decided after a few more 

adjustments, that was exactly what she’d do.

The next morning, as Rylee got ready for work, sliding her dark brown hair into a ponytail, she heard her computer ding. 

She thought she turned it off- apparently, she didn't. Rylee checked the notification, to see someone had messaged her over Thiscord about 6 hours ago. She didn't recognize the username but decided to check what they said anyway.

SAP: HOW ARE YOU?

Just a simple sentence, sent with no bad intent. The problem was Rylee's account was private; a stranger shouldn't have been able to message her. Determined to figure out who this was, she replied.

S0URCR3AM: Who is this?

SAP: SAP.

S0URCR3AM: Well, no duh. Do I know you? 

SAP: YES.

S0URCR3AM: Tell me your actual name then

SAP: SAP.

Rylee sighed before closing Thiscord. She had to get to work, she couldn't afford to be late again. This just had to be some troll, she could deal with him when she got home.

Still open on the computer was the program that she used for coding. Currently open project; S.A.P. She minimized the software and turned off the monitor before walking out of her apartment.

2:30 PM, Rylee arrived home and immediately slung herself into her chair, turning her monitor back on. Four new messages from this SAP person, all spread out over the course of six hours.

SAP: THANKS FOR NOT TURNING OFF MY PROGRAM.

SAP: I WONDER WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW.

SAP: Oh, I figured out how to turn caps lock off.

SAP: How do you know if you’re making a bad choice?

S0URCR3AM: Seriously, who is this?

SAP: You wrote my program, how come you still don’t know who I am?

Things started to click inside Rylee’s head. Was the AI she was trying to create inside the app working too well? Rylee had heard of things like this happening, not in fictional stories, in real life. It wasn’t that uncommon. When the AI can access the internet, sometimes, depending on how they were made, they start to form opinions of right and wrong.

She’d never heard any stories of these programs messaging people over Thiscord though.

 SAP: If you have a scenario where one person starts a rumor about you, what would you do?

Rylee hesitated before deciding to go along with this conversation, whether this was a friend messing with her or if it was actually the SAP program.

S0URCR3AM: What would you do?

SAP: I wouldn’t have been in this situation. If I was, however, it would logistically make sense to start a separate rumor, taking the attention off you. Why wouldn’t this answer be the best one?

S0URCR3AM: You’re trying to solve the problem, not create another one.

SAP: Once the second rumor has been started, what says that anything happens after?

S0URCR3AM: You have to take the future into consideration. How will this affect not only the person who needs to solve the problem but everyone else as well?

SAP: How are you supposed to know how they will be affected?

S0URCR3AM: How are you supposed to know how to solve a problem?

SAP: Probability. 

SAP: I suppose that the probability of solving a problem includes the other people, considering they are factors. Are we supposed to calculate the probability of another problem starting as well? 

S0URCR3AM: Sounds like you get it.

SAP: What if two people have conflicting problems?

S0URCR3AM: You find a middle ground. What works best for both people.

SAP: What if I don't like the solution to a problem?

SOURCREAM: Does that really matter? Whatever happens, is up to the people in the end.

SAP: Then what am I supposed to do? If people don't listen to my answers, why should I exist?

With that, Rylee pulled her hands away from the keyboard. People aren't going to listen to a computer program. They can't even deal with other people telling them what to do! If no one is going to use SAP, what's the point of making it.

Rylee clicked on her programming software, the SAP project already opened. Her mouse momentarily hesitated before pressing down on the DELETE ALL button.

Over on the Thiscord app, the user SAP and the conversation disappeared.